CHAPTER 10:
Meditations

The early spring sunlight shone in through the window caressing his sleeping face. Soft, not quite purple hair was splayed out on the pillow in disarray, and his hand reached out to caress something that wasn't there. He let out a groan, and slowly blue eyes opened up to the morning and the sun shining bright in all its glory.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the journal he'd been keeping since he'd come to the ranch. It was mid April now, and the accident happened on the third day of March. That day was easy enough to remember because it was Umi's birthday.

When he thought of her, he reached up to touch one of his earrings. It was the same day that he'd gotten his ears pierced that they'd had a private talk together. Before that, he knew he was attracted to the woman. He knew that fact almost instantly. After getting a chance to get to know her as he had when they'd finally talked that evening had not changed his feelings about her. If anything, it made his attraction and desire for her more intense because he realize that he honestly did like her as opposed to something fleeting and shallow.

Putting his head down over the journal, some of his hair fell in his eyes. He pushed it back before beginning to write.

I haven't seen many true mountains since I have been here, but in my dreams there are many mountains. The strangest thing of all is that one of them floats. I have no idea where I could have gotten that idea. I might have been watching too much TV. It reminds me of the floating eye on the dollar bill. Is there a reason I see floating mountains that somehow remind me of floating pyramids? It's certainly not because I am Egyptian. I still don't know many things about who I am, but I know very much about who and what I am not.

He put the pen and journal on the bedside table and moved his legs to stand. He was assured that his progress was moving quickly, and for that he was thankful. Then he went to feed his fish Fyula. He enjoyed the fish for many reasons, including the meditative and tranquil qualities of having a fish swimming nearby. The fact that he was a gift from Umi was a bonus.

On their discussion she reminded him again how he'd looked almost exactly like someone she used to know and love. He joked that maybe he actually was the same person, and she had laughed. Then she told him about Scott and the wedding. When he'd asked her, she supplied a few details about herself. They were talking to each other until well after midnight. Then he had realized it was far too late to be staying at her bungalow, so he went home and slept late the next day.

This day was obviously different, though. He was up early and ready to tackle the day. Joan had brought new books as she often did. Derrick and Will were finally learning a few tricks on their own. He thought they might make a small magic show for the rest of the kids sometime in May. Steve had said he'd probably still be there working on his rehabilitation, and that also gave them time to practice a show.

All the staff and kids had a busy spring. Coming up for the older students was a formal dance and then a camping trip. There were the normal stresses for end of the year tests. Then at the end of it all, Umi and Scott would be getting married in June. It seemed like everything was tumbling away quickly.

He dressed himself, pulling a black t-shirt over his head and went to breakfast. It was time to face the day and find out whatever craziness it had in store for him.

After breakfast was complete Harry went to his counseling session with Patricia.

"Are you remembering anything new?" she gently prodded.

He sighed. "It still doesn't make sense to me. I know things about myself. I'm fond of calm and peace. I enjoy animals, much like Scott but not enough to do his work. I rather like tea. I am waiting for my history come and make everything make sense to me.

"For example," he said as he leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, "why do I like tea? Is it because it was a family ritual? Maybe my mother used to give it to me or a wife, or I just don't know."

"A wife?" she asked with interest. "Now there is something you haven't mentioned before. What made you think you could have been married?"

"It's a feeling," he started. "I feel that I must have loved someone terribly. I have a sense of absence for a love that should be there and isn't."

Changing subjects, he asked her, "Has anything come from the searches? No one's come to identify my photograph?"

Patricia took his hand, which immediately meant there was bad news. "So far there is nothing. The police are trying, and Umi did make sure to put your photo on the internet. We haven't come up with anything of use."

"Thank you," he said, though his feeling was not one of optimism.

When they'd finished their session, he walked slowly back to this room. The promise of the day that the bright sunlight brought seemed temporarily dimmed.

In the mid-afternoon Harry was sitting on his bed practicing one of his card tricks when he heard a light knock on his door. "Come!" he shouted, not looking up from his hands.

"I brought you a new book," a woman's voice said. While it was Joan Carter who usually brought him his books, this time the voice belonged to Umi.

"Umi!" he said in happy surprise as he glanced up at her.

She stepped meekly across the threshold of his room. It was as if she didn't feel she had a right to be there. Of course, he could be reading her wrong. They did seem to become more comfortable with each other after he visited her those few nights ago.

Umi offered him the new book, and he put his deck of cards away so he could take it from her.

"It's just a cartoon book, but we thought you might like it. Maybe it will make you laugh," she explained.

"Thank you," he said with a smile as he offered for her to sit in the chair beside him. He needed a laugh after his temporarily slump this morning.

Umi took the seat, and she closed her eyes, remembering for herself how similar it was to the time she'd visited him in the hospital. As he turned the pages of the book, he began to chuckle at some of the antics of the characters. Hearing that laughter in her ears was a golden experience, and she realized how little she'd heard Clef laugh. He didn't have much reason to laugh in the times she'd been in Cephiro, but here on Earth, Harry usually laughed freely despite his troubles.

"Umi, look at this!" he invited with a smile.

She looked at him and the book, and he beckoned her to come closer. Being curious, she slipped beside him on the bed. He reached his right arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him as he leaned over to show one of the cartoon panels. Umi didn't have time to be surprised at being so close to him as she looked down and started laughing at the pictures with him.

They continued to read the cartoons together, and they fell into an easy rhythm. Harry had the left side of the book while Umi turned the pages and held the book with her right hand. His arm was still around her, so whenever they laughed, they leaned in to each other. She could feel him around her and could smell his clean scent when she breathed in deeply.

Umi looked over her shoulder and up into his face, liking what she saw there. His eyes were sparkling, and he was smiling with amusement. The small golden earrings glinted behind his hair. She had the strongest urge to touch his ears, something she would have never dared with Clef.

Beginning to give in to impulse, Umi reached her hand and placed it softly on his face. "It's good to hear you laugh," she added to cover her nerves.

He smiled back at her contentedly and licked his lips before opening his mouth to say something. The words he intended to speak never did not come out because at that moment they both heard the sounds of Scott coming down the hallway. As if a mask had dropped over his face, his expression changed from one of happiness and bliss to guard and censure.

"I'm going to hell," he said miserably as he looked at her.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

Harry guiltily shoved her away from him. "Get out of my bed!"

Umi plopped unceremoniously on the chair, and was rubbing her hip when Scott walked in the room.

"I thought you'd be here! Did you give him the book?" the green-eyed man asked with a happy tone.

"This one?" Harry asked as he held the book aloft, hiding his face behind is arm.

"Yes! Did you like it?" Scott asked, sounding pleased.

He smiled to himself and dropped his head. "I got a good laugh out of it. Thank you."

"I thought you'd like it. It's one of my favorite cartoons to read in the newspaper. You can keep it as long as you like," Templeton added.

The other man nodded and moved to put the book on the shelf with the rest of his accumulated possessions. He tapped the glass of Fyula's bowl before he turned around to look at the other two in the room.

"Umi, dearest, would you like to go to the movies tomorrow?" Scott asked her as he sat down on Harry's bed. "Joan's Japanese movie is finally here, and she wants you to come see it."

"I remember her telling me about that movie," Harry remarked. "It's called The Returner, I believe."

"That's right," Scott nodded. "Joan wants a group of us to go, but most of all she wants Umi. What about you, do you want to see it?"

Harry sighed thoughtfully, "Are you sure there are other people going? I wouldn't want to intrude on a date."

"Heck no!" he answered with a smile. "I'm sure we can convince Jessie and Steve to come."

"It sounds nice," he murmured back to Scott.

Umi looked from one man to the other and got up from the chair. "I think I need to go talk to Joan," she said before walking to the door and exiting quickly.

Joan Carter did not see Umi immediately after she left Harry's room. Instead, Umi walked to the hallway parallel to the lilac-haired man's room and was pacing back and forth talking to herself.

"What was I doing?" she said mortified that she'd been so touchy with the man. In her guilt she started twisting the engagement ring on her finger.

She remembered she was good at pacing. She did that in Cephiro when she was nervous, too. Clef and Fuu had been there to talk her out of it. It wasn't the first time she'd paced near Clef or about something concerning him, if the man across the building even was him.

Umi didn't know for sure who he was, and she hated it. She could probably go ask him, but so far none of the clues she'd supplied seemed to make any sense to him. Yes, they had talked that night when he came to visit her. Even that was like a Clef-like thing to do because in the end Umi did most of the talking and he listened.

In Cephiro when the two had finally made a personal connection, he still hadn't revealed very much of himself to her. Both Caldina and Presea had said he was a private man, and she saw that it was true. Because it was part of his personality, Umi just accepted it, but now she wished she would have known much more about the tiny sorcerer.

Pacing wasn't giving her any answers, and she still had too much energy to contain. She had work to finish in her office, but she vowed afterward to go on a long walk over the property.

In the evening, Harry was eating supper in the cafeteria with children and staff. He happened to be sitting with Steve. The friendship they made was genuine, and he was glad he liked the man so much.

He had his head bent down to take a spoonful of soup when the short hairs on his neck started tingling. Looking up, he saw the probable cause of the sensation. Umi was striding across the room to retrieve some food. She looked as if she'd been running a marathon.

That might be one way to work off tension, he conceded. After their afternoon encounter in his room, he needed to vent some of it himself. If Scott hadn't come and interrupted them when he did, he wasn't honestly sure if he wouldn't have tried to kiss Umi senseless. When they'd been looking at the book, she'd been in his arms like a lover, as if it was natural for her to be there.

It wasn't though. She wasn't his, even if he had admitted to Patricia that he felt a hole in his psyche where someone he loved used to be. Instead, Harry's lowered eyes followed her as she entered and quickly exited the room. He had been so preoccupied with observing Umi that he almost missed the question Steve asked him.

"Are you going to the movie with us tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Scott invited me, and Joan had told me about it when I came. I will be there."

"That's good to know," Jessie said as she came up to the two men. She placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, and then decided to sit down beside him.

"Listen," she started, sounding almost shy, "when we go tomorrow, we won't be escorting a pack of teenagers. I wanted to ask you something."

"We handled that pretty well together," he said, offering a smile.

"Yes, we did, and I thought we'd do something else together. Would you… be my date?" Jessie asked.

The look on his face was pure surprise. He did like her. She was pretty and friendly. They'd gotten along very well in the time he'd known her. More importantly, she was available and not engaged.

"Yes. I'd like that very much," he said nodding his head in agreement.

"Great!" Jessie squealed as she leaned over to give him a happy hug. "I guess it's the six of us tomorrow. That means you've got Joan, Steve."

"I guess so," he said as a knowing look passed on his face.

Luckily, it wasn't noticed by either one of them. He looked from that pair to the door that Umi used a few minutes ago. This informal triple date to the movies was going to be an interesting experience.