Chapter 4: I Feel Like Protesting.

I think this update took a little longer than usual because my mind didn't want to move past smut. I'm bad lol. So call this a belated Christmas pressie! And cookies to anyone who can tell me who inspired Hyde's latest conspiracy theory. Anyway here we go.

The bright lights of the fair swirled around Jackie as she nibbled on cotton candy and watched Donna fawn over Randy and his oh so impressive ability to hit balloons with darts. They clearly didn't care whether she was there or not, she sighed sadly. The only reason she'd come was in the hope that the music and colour would be able to cheer her up. It always had when she was little. Every year her nanny had brought her here, her Mom wasn't there and her father was working so it became her own special tradition and every year she'd come. It was the first time she'd felt alone here. She'd made Michael take her when they were together, he'd been so excited and hopped up on sugary snacks and for once she hadn't been irritated by his immaturity, she'd just been happy. Steven had come to stop Michael hitting on her, and because Kitty always made him go anyway. He'd eventually decided it was more fun to spend the night making out than trying, and usually failing, to buy beer. But now she stood alone, the thick crowds suffocating her, the lights seeming cheap and tacky and her cotton candy made her feel sick.

She knew the carnival was no different but she was. It infuriated her that being single made her so upset. She knew she would be fine on her own; she had proved that to herself last year and even more so after Steven had settled into married life. It was what had happened, last Saturday. If it had happened at all, she had begun to wonder if maybe she'd imagined it. Wouldn't have been the first time she'd had a sex dream about Steven, the only physical proof that told her it must have happened was a bite mark on her chest. Barely there anymore. She wished it was a permanent scar. Something to show for the emotional pain she felt, she felt like her heart had vanished from her chest, leaving a gapping sore wound. It ached every second and seeing him made her want to shriek in agony. She didn't know how she held it in, the scream that scraped at the hollow inside of her chest, making the edges of her wound throb and sting. It stopped her breathing, her lungs shrinking away, empty. There was nothing inside her chest but hollow, empty pain.

Having him ripped away from her again had taken her heart too. But, that pain, it was almost proof enough.

This was one secret that she had no problem keeping; it had crossed her mind, very briefly to tell Donna. However, Jackie was sure that Donna would see her as husband-stealing trash, and maybe she was right. That was even if she had time for Jackie now, it never seemed she did. Fez might have understood, and he would at least be there when she needed him; but he was worse at keeping secrets then Jackie herself. There was no-one else she would consider sharing this with. So she kept it locked up inside her throat until it was almost chocking her.

Fez came bounding up, his arms full of silly prizes. Stuffed animals and novelty toys, along with a goldfish. "Hello Jackie, my dear. Look, I have a new friend!" He held up the goldfish, grinning. "I call him Goldie, because he is gold. What kind of a fish do you think he is?"

"Probably a goldfish, Fez." She replied smiling slightly.

"Ah, excellent! Oh invisible dogs!" He took off to another stand leaving Jackie alone again. She wandered off to the edges, the bright lights couldn't sting her eyes from here but the bells and jingles still rang in her ears. She jumped, hearing a retching sound round the corner, probably some idiot drunk out of his mind. She was about to turn and leave when the person vomiting fell backwards onto the ground just a few feet from her. It hit her again, like a monster crawling beneath her skin. The scratching and ripping in her torso and the think blockage in her neck trapping her voice till it burnt like a fire blazing in her throat.

Jackie's breath caught and she wanted to run, remembering what happened last time he was drunk. But like gravity she was pulled toward him again. "Steven?" She asked, forcing a hard edge into her voice, bending down closer to him. "Can you sit up?" He gagged and squirmed but didn't react to what she'd asked. "O.k. Come on." She muttered lifting him up, her skin stinging where she touched him, he stopped spluttering and threw up again. Jackie looked away wrinkling her nose in disgust. After a couple of minutes she handed him a tissue feeling some sympathy despite herself. She fixed her head to look forward, ready to block out any feelings. She thought about leaving but didn't trust her body to obey her mind. It had recently decided to revolt against her head and do whatever it pleased. Apparently that was Steven.

"Being zen?" He asked hoarsely, a slightly amused tone in his voice. She glanced at him with one eyebrow raised. Hoping he'd drop it and decide to ignore her. She'd barely seen him all week; she hadn't thought about whether he was avoiding her or why he would, it was a blessing however she looked at it. A blessing or luck, that appeared to have run out. "Come on." He smirked. "You're not telling me off for drinking too much or trying to neaten me up. Are you trying to outzen me again, grasshopper?"

She flinched at the old nickname. She scoffed, flipping her hair. "Yeah, like I'm gonna play your stupid games. I have better things to do with my time." Outzenning him? Impossible. But being a bitch, that she could do.

He kept watching her through those damn sunglasses. "Such as? If you have so much to do, why are you back here all alone?"

"Going for a walk, or at least I was until a scruffy moron landing in front of me."

"Well, lucky me, got my guided daily allowance of bitchiness in the past two minutes. You know what make it a week's allowance. See ya princess." He waved cheerfully, the movement swaying his whole body.

"Why should I leave? Just because you threw up around here doesn't mean I can't sit here." She was being silly now, obviously. Even she knew this was silly and she should take the opening and leave.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" Hyde shook his head; clearly this was a bad idea when his spinning head fell onto Jackie's shoulder.

"Steven..." God she sounded ridiculous. Her voice had joined forces with her body against logic and refused to come out in the bitchy tone she wanted. Instead it was soft and trembled just using his name. She stiffened her resolve. "Steven, get off!" She bitched shoving him away, he feel backwards onto his back, muttering something that sound a lot like. "Bitch". Jackie forced her legs to operate, though they shook and her muscles protested the action. She stumbled around the corner, putting distance between herself and Steven. She couldn't ignore him, outzen him, or even pretend that last week never happened. At least not the way he could. So she ran, straight into Red Forman.

Red grunted and yelled "Kitty, I found another one!" Kitty hurried over with Fez swerving along beside her, pretending to be pulled by his 'invisible dog'. Randy and Donna trailed behind still giggling between themselves.

"Oh, Jackie. Have you seen Steven? We checked the beer garden but he must've left."

Jackie cleared her throat, trying to make her voice co-operate, willing the suppressed sob, clawing at her chest to stay down. "He's over there." She mumbled pointing behind her. Her voice still shook slightly but she held herself together. Wrapping her arms around herself as if to hold the pain inside while it tried to rip itself free from her rib cage and consume her whole. Red brow furrowed as his wife hurried off to move Steven.

"Red. Oh, Red come help me here." Red strode around the corner.

"Get off the floor dumbass!" He yelled yanking Steven off the ground and half dragging him to the car as the rest of the group crammed themselves in.

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With Steven behind her Jackie was able to keep up the bitchy attitude and he threw back insults as well as he could drunk, which turned out to be very well. Until that is Fez dropped the ring and wandered off. Leaving her alone with Steven and the most nauseating couple alive. She couldn't believe she was actually considering going to Africa and pulling Eric back home by his scrawny little wrist. She wanted to be anywhere but here, Africa would be far enough.

"Hey you guys, you know I was thinking that maybe we'd find the ring faster if we split up into teams." Donna suggested clearly wanting to be alone with Randy who was agreeing in an annoying stage voice. Jackie jumped at the chance to get away from Hyde.

"I get Donna!" She almost shouted. "That way, if we run into a bear, I could just climb you." Of course no such luck, the fates were conspiring against her and Donna was helping them.

"No, I was thinking I would go with Randy and you go with Steven."

"No no no no!" Jackie felt her eyes widen with panic as she started babbling excuses. "I NOT teaming up with Steven. That would be like Cher teaming up with a really smelly drunk!"

"Wow. Did you guys hear that? The wild call of the brown-haired pygmy bitch."

Before thinking Jackie responded. "I didn't hear anything."

"There it is again!" Hyde was grinning at her. He'd ignored her for a week and was now making fun of her! Oh no way!

"Looks like the wild call can only be heard by the burnout drunkard"

"God, that's one annoying beast."

"Oh I'M the beast! You're the one wh..." Jackie bit her tongue to stop yelling the real reason she was angry at him. "No way am I going with you. Donna..." She'd left. Donna and Randy had wandered off during their little spat. Jackie groaned. "Stupid giant whore!" Hyde turned to walk off. "Where are you going?"

"To find the ring so I can get the hell outta here."

"Wait, I don't wanna be alone!" She followed after him.

"Then keep up." He called back as if he didn't care what she did. Now there was a hard choice. Go off with Steven, alone in the woods with him making little digs and driving her half mad. Or stay there, alone, in the dark. She'd always been afraid of the dark, and Steven knew that. The only time she hadn't been afraid was in the Forman's basement, in his arms. She looked after him; it looked as though he'd slowed is pace. She followed, almost regretting it already. Hyde smirked over his shoulder when he heard her hurry to reach him. "You can still climb me if there's a bear."

"I'll take the bear." She whispered to herself.

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They'd bin wandering through the woods for what seemed like hours, a glance at her watched told Jackie, it'd been five minutes. At least he's shut up. She'd barely finished the thought when Hyde' drunken chatter started up again.

"Hey this is what it's all about. The outdoors, nature and stuff. You know people don't need TV and playboy, never noticed that before. You know sometimes you gotta marry a stripper to get things in perspective. This is good, the outdoors. That's what it's all about. And camping! Sleeping under the stars. That's what it's all about."

"Yeah... You can sleep on the muddy ground; I'll take a real bed any day."

"Bed! Now that is what it's all about. Life, life isn't anything, just a series of distractions designed by the government to get you outta bed. Where everything good happens, everything the establishment doesn't want to happen. Sleep where we can dream of ways to break free and sex. Sex is like the best protest you know. And protesting against the establishment by having sex, that's what it' all about."

"Yeah, I got that." Jackie snapped how dare he talk to her about his whorey wife and act like he hadn't cheated on her. Oh God, she had to stop thinking about that. She hated being 'the other women' that stripper was the boyfriend stealing whore. How did everything get so confusing? "Look, just find that stupid, cheap ring then you can get back to bed and protest with your disgusting stripper."

"No no no no no no no." Hyde half fell down onto a log and pulled her down next to him. He shifted, straddling the log to face her. "See, the reason that the establishment doesn't want us having sex is because it makes us feel good, right? Well, Sam is a lousy fuck. She shrieks like a freaking porn star and that's seriously not sexy when it's right in your ear. She starts fights to get laid. How crazy is that?"

Jackie stared at him for a couple of minutes. "Why the hell are you telling me this?" She asked her voice low and quiet to hide her pain.

Hyde's brows knitted together. "I don't know. Weird." He sat there thinking for a second. "I feel like protesting." He lent forward kissing her softly. This was nothing like their last kiss. It had been demanding and rough. It had knocked the air out of her and left her unable to breathe or think without concentrating. This was soft, delicate and short. Jackie reacted much faster this time. She pushed him off her and ran off, angry at herself for being alone with him at all.

About fifteen minutes later she realised she was lost.

You know how to motivate me people a review left is returned in kind.