Chapter 6: I Dropped Some Jelly Beans.

Oh heavens I know I'm an awful person for not updating or even writing this chapter in so so long. I apologise so very very much. I actually got halfway through planning a mini-smut fic inspired by the wonderful board game monogamy. £25 from Ann summers, I recommend it to all couples. Well that should reveal why I make them screw so much, off topic.

Right a few things have been changed from the way they went in the show. Hilary is still around, but Fez wasn't there when Larry turned up (Of course I'm getting rid of Sam still) and I just can't make myself allow the whole Jackie/Fez thing, it's just WRONG! On with the story.

Red Forman walk into his kitchen to find his adoptive son sitting at the kitchen and staring at a beer. Not drinking, just sitting, his face a few inches from the can, glaring at it as though it was plotting against him. Why are all the kids on dope?

"STEVEN!" The young man barely turned to acknowledge Red's presence and hurriedly hushed him. "Are you gonna drink that beer?"

For a long time Hyde didn't respond for a few long seconds. "I don't know." Red sighed loudly and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a distracted rant. "See, beer was always my friend. Everything always became clear after a few cans and now... now it confuses me. Makes me stupid, I drink it and do stupid, stupid things. The beer makes bad things happen."

"Steven, I'm gonna tell you what I told Eric more than six years ago. Bad things happen to you because you're a dumbass."

Hyde shook his head still fixated on the beer. "No Red. Not this time, too stupid. Way too stupid."

"Okay Steven, you got ten seconds to tell me what the hell you're talking about and after that I'm drinking that beer. Ten... Nine...Ei"

"The Toyota."

A moment later both men were inside the ugly orange car. Steven continuously banging his head against the steering wheel. Muttering something about being stupid. "Are you planning on telling me why you've finally noticed how stupid you are?" Red growled in annoyance.

"I did something really stupid"

"You do stupid things on a daily basis"

"Not this stupid."

"You married a str...anger in Las Vegas and didn't remember until she turned up on my doorstep. What could you possibly do, worse than that!"

"I slept with Jackie." Hyde groaned and leaned against the wheel.

"Why do I get out of bed in the morning!" Red groaned.

"Red, man, what am I gonna do!" Hyde asked staring at the older man.

After a pause Red fixed a hard look on the confused youth. "I don't know. I have been married for more years than Kitty would let me say and I have never come close to cheating on her. So you are gonna figure out why you would do something that stupid, and it isn't the beer, and either forget it ever happened or... Decide what to do. But for God sakes DO NOT tell Kitty." With that Red got out of the car and got a fresh cold beer to try and forget what he'd just heard.

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Around that same time, Jackie Burkhart hurried into the apartment she shared with Fez, mentally cursing her own stupidity. Typical of course, she sorts out her feelings and her body tries to scare her to death. She moved the plastic bag behind her back, moving toward the kitchen counter. "Fez...? Ah!" She leapt back about five foot as Fez jumped up from behind the counter. "Fez what the hell are you doing!"

"I dropped some jelly beans." He spotted the bag behind her back. "You went to the chemist. Did you get me a lollipop?" He dashed out to try and take the bag.

"No Fez, I'm sorry I didn't."

"What did you get?" He reached for the bag again. Jackie took a deep calming breath. Of course, he would be in a curious mood today. The fates were conspiring, and they were jealous of her hair. "Jackie let me see." Fez pouted and pinched her arm. Using the distraction he grabbed the bag and ran to the other side of the couch. He pulled the box out of the bag and after a couple of minutes he look up to see a horror-stricken Jackie staring at him. "A pregnancy test? But how? You're having less sex than me!"

Although part of her mind was agreeing, Jackie quickly rearranged her features into a mask of offended anger. She cocked her hips and responded by bitching. "Um...Well. Yeah, shows how much you know!" She quickly grabbed the box and dashed into the bathroom.

Jackie stared at the pretty girl staring back at her from the mirror. Leaning against the sink she took several deep steadying breaths. So now she was gonna have to tell Fez the truth and have him tell everyone else. Either that or come up with a great lie, that put her in a good light. Unfortunately, the likelihood was that no such lie existed.

She perched on the edge of the bath and stared at the kit. Suddenly not sure if she should be doing this, granted she was two weeks late so it seemed her period wasn't coming this month. But maybe it wasn't a good idea to do this until she knew how she felt about it.

After all it was a baby, something she'd wanted for a long time. But she'd imagined herself married at the time with someone to support her and this was something she expected to be able to do alone.

And Steven was married. Did this mean she should keep this from him? Impossible, he'd find out and act as though she'd wronged him unforgivably. Maybe he'd be right, it was his child too she didn't get this way herself.

God, she felt like such a whore. She'd barely drank at the party and wasn't nearly as intoxicated as she let herself believe. Just being alone with him, a few gentle kisses and she opened her legs. And then throwing herself at him, outdoors as well.

Twice! She'd slept with him twice. Did that make her his mistress? How could she be so stupid? Now knocked up with her ex-boyfriend's illegitimate child.

She hung her head suddenly exhausted; there was so much to think of, by the time she figured out what she wanted the kid would be starting school. She laughed softly, she was thinking as though she was defiantly with child. So she decided to do the test and then think about how it would affect her life and THEN think about Steven.

She pulled the instructions out of the box, last thing she needed was a false result. Before she'd begun reading there was a soft knock on the bathroom door. "Go away Fez!" She shouted, not wanting to deal with him right now.

"Please, open the door Jackie. Talk to me." She had to admit he sounded genuinely worried about her. "I'm not leaving until you come out." She heard him sigh a few seconds later, it sounded like he'd sat down to lean against the door. Jackie finished reading the instructions and turned on the taps hoping it would make her need to pee.

A few minutes later she was sat staring the stick, there was still a minute left before the results and she was pretty sure Fez was still outside the door. Her mind was whirling with thoughts, questions, and a distinct lack of answers. She glared at the clock on the wall until finally the last minute past. She took a deep breath and looked down. Little pink minus sign. She checked the instructions one more time to make sure she was right and promptly burst into tears.

"Jackie? Please let me in." A sad, accented voice pleaded through the door. She unlocked the door but didn't move from the floor curled up next to the damn stick. Fez sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her, stroking her hair soothingly. "What was the result?"

Jackie heaved in a lot of painful breaths before stammering the answer. "N..Neg...Negative." She continued sobbing painfully, not really sure why. Her heart was slowly breaking into tiny pieces and her head throbbed with confusion. She should have been feeling relieved, she wasn't even twenty yet, or even with Steven and there was no way she could deal with a baby right now. Still she kept on crying.

Ten minutes later her tears had subsided and she had calmed down considerably. Her head was beginning to sort itself out. Offering the reasonable explanation that she'd been scared and emotional, her reaction would have been the same no matter what the result. Fez handed her some tissue. "Thanks." She mumbled and stood up to fix her make-up, giving her reflection a winning smile once she looked presentable. She turned to leave the bathroom and get rid of the test only to see Fez standing in the doorway, giving her a hard look.

"Jackie, please explain to me what's going on." He said calmly, his expression making it clear that he was completely serious now.

Jackie flashed her best smile before responding lightly. "It was negative, doesn't matter now does it?" She walked past him into the apartment.

"Yes it does! Why did you think you were pregnant?" He followed her into the living room as she sat on the couch and began absently flicking through a magazine. "You would've told me if you had a boyfriend." She didn't respond, pretending to be interested in an article about hair straightening; like she'd ever do that to herself, what was Cosmo coming to? "Jackie tell me who the father is!"

She dropped the magazine, finally turning to look at him. "There's no baby Fez, that means no father."

He sat down next to her, clearly not intending to drop the subject anytime soon. Jackie scooted away from him, folding her arms and looking away. There was no way she was telling anyone, what had happened. Her reasonable side chimed in that Fez would probably keep this quiet. He told no-one about her kissing the cheese guy, even though Eric had told him first. Shut up! she told it firmly. Where were you when I needed sense?Great now your talking to the voices in your head, that's for crazy people and lonely losers.

"Jackie!" Fez snapped her out of her thoughts. He placed his hands on her shoulders so she was forced to at least face his direction. A similar move had her in Steven's arms not so long ago. "I'm worried about you. Did some-one hurt her?" She shook her head still keeping her head firmly bowed. His voice became soft again. "Then who?" He coaxed.

She sagged, giving in at last. "Steven. I had sex with Steven."

"When?"

"The party at his dad's house and then again in the woods when we we're looking for Kitty's ring." She didn't cry again, her eyes were still sore and stinging. Her voice was tired and filled with shame. She felt herself being pulled into another embrace.

"Does anyone else know?" Jackie shook her head slowly, relieved that he didn't sound repulsed or angry at her confession. "Tell me everything from the start." Jackie took a final deep breath and told him the whole story.

A few hours later, after Jackie had fallen asleep exhausted, Fez sat in the living room with a tape recorder. He pressed record and sighed before picking up the microphone. "Ai, Eric."

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A few days later Fez came into the living room to see Jackie swallow a small blue pill. "You got more magic no babies pills?" She nodded. "And have you decided on what your gonna do?" She shook her head.

"Avoidance. For now at least." Before Fez could respond Donna and Randy came through the door looking very excited.

"Hey guess what." Donna said grinning. "Sam has another husband! Larry, he just turned up and wants her to go back to Vegas with him!"

"Donna, why is that funny?" Jackie asked about a second before her mind began twirling again.

"Because it happened to some-one who's not us." Answered Randy laughing.

"So Hyde's slutty wife is not his wife?" Asked Fez, watching Jackie clutching the kitchen counter.

"Nope!" Donna laughed. "Just a slut."

"What's he going to do about it?" Jackie asked, her mind was like a tornado. The half-formed questions were screaming in her skull. Did this even change anything? Did she want it to? She needed to know, her insides were like a riot. Confusion, fear and something like the ghost of joy fought to have dominance over her. All three filled her. The confusion battered at her skull, causing her brain to throb and her coherent thoughts to slow considerably. The fear that maybe nothing would change, and Steven would still not want her. It settled in her stomach, coating her organs with cold thickness, like milky water. Her stomach and lungs contracted against the ice. Her heart, however, was consumed by flames instead, beating painfully against her ribs. She tried to ignore the flutter of hope that raced in her blood.

Donna didn't know what he planned to do about it, she hoped that Sam and Steven could get past this. Four words, though, momentarily stilled the tangible emotions tearing their way through Jackie. "He's happy with her."

Was he? Sometimes in the past, Jackie had thought that maybe she made him happy. But only in their private world in his bed, while everyone else slept.

Jackie quietly slipped away into her bedroom, hoping that lying still in the darkness would soften the pain in her head. After a little while she heard Donna and Randy leave. Fez came to check on her. "Jackie?" He whispered, she lay facing the opposite wall and faked sleep. A few seconds later he left, more than likely he didn't believe she was sleeping, but he left her alone anyway.

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Hyde inhaled the smoke as he walked into the dingy club. The place was packed with drunken men, some of which he'd met at the viking club. They didn't know it was his wife in a genie costume they were drooling over. He sat at a booth against a wall, after he had caught Sam's eye, she smiled hopefully in his direction, he looked down at the table. At the end of the dance Sam gave the audience a wink and twirled off as a cute little brunette in a nurses outfit took over.

Hyde felt Sam slide into the seat next to him. She gave him a small smile, it seemed obvious that she knew what he's come to say and had accepted it. "Hey." He said lamely.

"You know, I'll divorce him, if you want me to." She looked up hopefully as he shook his head.

"Sam, I think our marriage was a mistake. We'd only known each other for three weeks and I was drunk for most of it. I don't even remember why we got married." Sam nodded gently in agreement.

"It was your idea." He looked at her in surprise, he must have been an unheard level of drunkenness to do that. "But you're right, it was a mistake. You were just so hurt and I hoped that I could make you forget about her. I don't think I heard the full story. You still loved her didn't you?"

Hyde stared at the table then exhaled laughing slightly. "God help me, I did."

"You still do." Sam told him. He reluctantly nodded. "Then stop whatever it is you think you're doing. Go tell her." Sam looked down then gave him a tiny smile. "I want you to be happy." The music ended with a roar from the crowd as a sparkling bra flew into the audience. "I better finish my act."

They stood up and hugged. "You're amazing Samantha. I hope you find someone."

"Oh I think I might have, this guy offered me a job at one of those playboy clubs in Chicago. His names Vic. He's not as handsome as you but he's funny."

"He's lucky then, but you should probably divorce Larry before another relationship though." Sam giggled softly and jumped up on stage to finish her act.

Half an hour later Hyde walked into the Forman kitchen. "Oh Steven did you talk to her, is she leaving?" Asked Kitty excited, blushing when she realised how mean that sounded.

"Yeah Mrs. Forman, she's going to Chicago."

"Oooo. Just like...Um" he trailed off and laughed awkwardly. Not like her at all, thought Hyde. "Oh here Steven, you tell Eric all about it, Fez is sending him a tape soon." Hyde took the recorder and microphone and locked himself in his own room, down in the basement. He pressed record and told Eric absolutely everything.

There we go, I'm a bad person I know for making you wait, please don't hate me now. Don't think that we will have our nice neat ending anytime soon though. The zen master and the bitch, madness it is.

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