Told you this chapter would be a little bit longer. :) Oh, and just like it says on my profile....

10-25-09: Current weight - 290lbs (131.5 kg for those outside the US)

Never The Same

Chapter 2

She fell back into a habit that I had helped pull her from. It was as if she never stopped. Felt as though she forgot that she even stopped.

I cringed as I heard the snap of another beer can being opened. It's been three years since I got her to stop. "How many have you had Haruka?" My voice was cold, shallow even.

She looked at me. "Why does it matter how many I've had?" I closed my eyes as she lifted the silver can to her mouth again. I couldn't watch her drink it. "You always tried to take away my one method of relaxation. You're not doing it this time Michi, so why don't you just back off."

"There are other ways to relax other then drowning your sorrows." I fought back. Her short fuse never scared me. Most people took a step back when her anger boiled over. I knew what she was capable of.

"Oh? I can't sit and read a book like you do Michiru." She slammed the now empty can on the coffee table in front of me. "You know damned well I have no cartilage left in my knee so I can't run anymore either."

"I tried to teach you how to swim Ruka. You never had the courage to get in the water with me." I didn't back down. I knew it was the beer talking, not her. If I had counted correctly, she just finished her fourth one.

"Yes I did try! You were never available when I was ready to learn!"

I turned my head away from her as she leaned closer. I felt her place both hands on either side of my head. The sofa behind my gave under the extra weight when she pressed closer to me. "You were always ready just as I was leaving for a show, or a meeting. It was like you always timed it just right, so you would never get to learn." I said through clenched teeth. The alcohol smell on her breath was starting to turn my stomach.

"Look at me!" My whole body froze as she grabbed my jaw and forced my head to turn. "You look like a deer in the headlights Michiru." My eyes widened slightly as I stared into hers.

"You're hurting me..." I tried to squirm away, yet her grip only tightened. "Ruka, baby, please. You're scaring me." She was. She never put her hands on me in a fit of her rage before.

Her eyes were cold and distant as she stared down at me. "You're not worth it." She pushed my head away and stumbled back into the kitchen. The refrigerator door was slammed shut. Soon after the crack of an opening can rang through my ears. Then she slammed the door to the patio.

Tears came to my eyes as I reached up to gently touch my jaw. It was tender. No doubt it'll bruise by the morning. And just like always, she won't remember a thing she said to me. I'm hoping she remembers grabbing me though...

"Haruka are you coming to bed?" I was suddenly afraid to talk to her. Afraid of how she would react.

It was as if I was talking to a totally different person. "I thought you'd never ask." I forced myself to smile as I watched her pick up the three empty cans from the patio table. "What happened to your jaw?" She reached out to touch it.

I couldn't hold back my sharp intake of breath. "You...you don't remember?" Of course she didn't.

"No, what happened?" She threw her cans into the garbage bin. It sounded like she was starting to sober up.

I still had no way of knowing how she would react if I told her now. "Don't worry about it. Just come to bed with me." I smirked and led her upstairs. "Behave Ruka!" I had to scold her when I felt the bottom of my robe being tugged on.

"But I don't want to." She pressed me to the wall outside our room. I returned her kiss. Alcohol still lingered on her breath and in her mouth.

How could I deny her? She could spend all day yelling at me, yet at the end of the day she still found me attractive and reminded me of how much she truly loved me.

We made love until the sun came up. I cringe as I remember it. It was a night that I wasn't particularly fond of. She was rough with me. Even after I told her I wasn't in the mood for sex that rough.

Since her wreck she had turned into a monster. A monster that I found hard to be around. The day after I couldn't even bring myself to look at her. Everything about her was cold and distant.

Each morning she looked at me like she had never seen me before. One morning she even screamed at me to get out of her bed, that she didn't know who I was. I wish I had known what was wrong then. I remember spending an hour that morning explaining that we were married. I think she eventually got tired of listening to me and just agreed with me. Even now she looks at me strangely. I miss the old you Haruka. Why did you have to have that wreck?

And tell me folks...are we confused yet? -Smirk- good. If you haven't figured it out yet, the italic at the beginning and end of the chapter is modern day...everything in the middle is Michiru's memory. If you haven't figured that out yet, I'm sure it makes a hell of a lot more sense now.