A/N: I'm running out of funnies D: I know it's really really short and dissapointing
Disclaimer: I swear upon my magic that I am not Harry's pimp
Harry signed; it was really not a good day for him. First he was torn to bits by strange people sporting clothing with the words, "I WANNA HAVE H.P BABIES! 1!" Second, he later met ol' Dumbles, that meddling old cod who confirmed that he really is dead. Then when he finally felt like accepting the lemon drops offer, it fucking exploded on him and flushes him into color land like that horrible swirly forced on him by Duddikins back in elementary school and the surroundings had colors with a FACE on it. As if it wasn't enough, he heard Luna's voice saying hello in a whisper like Moaning Mytle. His damn eyes were still bleeding too. Really, could it possibly get any worse?!
No was the answer in his head, judging by the flaming black surroundings, faceless people screaming, he was literally in hell. It seems that he was stepping on a pool of blood too. So when a half-snake lady with curling horns and big milk jugs approached him smiling like Snape got laid, obviously a teenage boy like Harry would get a boner and shit his pants at the same time.
"Harry James Potter, Defeater of Tom Marvolo Riddle and Master of Death. Pleasure to meet you, I am Death." Whispered the lady who gave a mock bow.
While curling herself around Harry, she trails her long thin fingers round his shoulders. This continues in silence until Harry gathered his wits and gulped, saying his first sentence in a looong time.
"Erm… Excuse me? What am I doing here? What's this all about? Som… Some kind of a joke?" He bit in his lips and felt her embracing him.
"Harry Harry, this is no joke." Sh-He laughs. "Timid ignorant Harry, you are dead, both body and soul between my grasp." Death morphed into a man. 'I am now Master of you, just as you are Master of me, isn't that neat?" Death brushes his white hair onto Harry's shoulder, giggling.
Crocodile tears rolled down his pale cheeks. "It's like playing Husband and Wife~" He giggled once more, and bent down to bit Harry's neck hard.
Harry shudders. His body cold with sweat. This is really not a good day.