Chapter XV: Humanity in Question
A/N: Again thank you IzzieStar! Hope everyone enjoys the chapter!
"You're telling me that not one single pathetic official is available in the office?" John snapped, from the other side of the door.
Frowning in concentration, Rodney pressed his ear closer to the door of Sam and Jack's kitchen. Since they had arrived in Washington two days ago, these phone calls had become somewhat of a routine for John, and as they became more frequent, Rodney's visits to the door were. Although he couldn't help but let his intrigue get the better of him, he couldn't deny the genuine concern for his friend whose tone was increasingly irate, but tinged with despair.
"I am through with waiting! I want answers NOW and if I don't get them I will not be held responsible for my actions." John roared.
As Rodney heard John kick some indiscernible object, he winced, worried that the sound would attract one of the numerous people who were currently residing at the O'Neill residence. Taking his concentration away from the other side of the door, Rodney looked down the hallway to ensure that he wouldn't be found. When he was certain that there was nobody heading in his direction, he pressed his ear to the door once again.
"-want to talk to her. They are six-years old. How the HELL do you expect them to cope with this?"
More pacing. Since Elizabeth had been taken, pacing was all he ever seemed to do. Except for when the children were around. They were his only solace, as he smiled and insisted that Mommy would be home soon. Rodney didn't know how John did it; pretend to be so serene and 'Dad', whilst he knew the truth; that he was all they would have left. They'd all rallied around of course, much to Sam's detectable frustration, but John treated them like they were barely there at all as he made another phone call or took his mind off it with the children. He wanted to say something, but deep down he knew that if he crossed that line, it meant that it was real and Sheppard wasn't ready for that.
"Do you honestly think I'm going to let this lie? If I have to come down there and storm the building I WILL do it." Sheppard snarled.
Normally, Rodney would have been panicked by Sheppard's outlandish threat, but his attention was taken by Carson walking towards him, shaking his head, the frown showing his disapproval. Oh well, he'd managed to get away with it for two days and whatever they said, they were impressed by his knowledge of the situation.
"What on earth are you doing Rodney?" Carson whispered.
"Oh as if you don't want to know what's going on." Rodney whispered in reply.
Although Carson threw another roll of the eyes in Rodney's direction, Rodney was amused and indignant in equal measures as Carson pressed his own ear to the door.
"I'll be expecting a call, and you know what's going to happen if I don't get one." John said.
Sensing that this signaled the end of the conversation, both Carson and Rodney stepped away from the door and, instinctively, Rodney began laughing in the most unconvincing fashion. This, coupled with the guilty expression on Carson's face, made it all to clear to John what had been happening on the other side of the door as he opened it. Fortunately for them, he didn't have the time or energy to take them up on it.
Carson noted the tired look in his friend's eyes. John was operating on zero sleep, not taking any time to rest. His sole focus had been on Elizabeth and the twins. He had to say something.
"John, you need to rest."
As it was becoming his tact, John ignored him. His friend had a gleam in his eyes.
"I'm not going to rest until I get that call."
Not giving up, Carson continued,
"You haven't slept at all since we got to Washington. Which was over 48 hours ago…"John interrupted him saying,
"Are you asking me this as a friend or as a doctor?"
Carson was silent for a moment. He answered,
"Both. As your friend, I'm worried about how you're dealing with all this. As a doctor, I'm worried about how this may affect your body."
John was silent for a few moments, which was long enough for Rodney to get in an interruption. Soon it was time for lunch.
Although the group who had convened at the table undoubtedly enjoyed each other's company, the absence of Elizabeth, and the reasons behind that, had put a strain on proceedings which was difficult to ignore. Each, in their own way, was there for John and the children, and for each other, but sitting together only served as a reminder of what, or rather who was missing.
"So, err, no luck?" Jack asked John.
"No luck." John confirmed.
Jack nodded, and that was the end of the conversation as nobody wanted to push or dwell on the topic in front of the children, who remained unaware as to where their mother really was. John was thankful for that; that his friends had supported him and accepted the reasons behind his (and Elizabeth's) deception. As he watched them sword fighting with their breadsticks, he smiled and reaffirmed to himself that it was for the best and in their interests.
"Are you gonna eat that?" Rodney asked, nodding to Sam's uneaten toasted sandwich.
Roused from her thoughts, Sam looked to Rodney in confusion and then down to her plate at the uneaten sandwich and shrugged.
"It's this stomach bug; everything looks like a trip to the bathroom waiting to happen." Sam grimaced.
"So, it's going spare then?" Rodney queried.
"Here, take it." Sam said, rolling her eyes as she passed it across the table.
"You are looking very tired dear. I could prescribe you some rehydration salts."
"It's fine Carson."
"I insist." Carson said, with a smile.
With a smile, Sam accepted his offer and allowed her eyes to fall on John, and the way he was with the children. Despite everything, he was still laughing and playing, totally committed to them as he tried to persuade them to finish their grapes. They were stubborn, both of them, and cheeky with it, but John had managed to turn the whole struggle into a game by throwing them at John and Olivia for them to catch in their mouths and eat. As a stray grape hit JJ in the eye, Sam laughed, and turned to look at Jack's reaction, but he was too absorbed in reading the newspaper to notice. The smile fell from Sam's face and she sighed, picking up her abandoned plate and placing it in the dishwasher. Maybe some rehydration salts were just what she needed.
Almost an hour past midnight, and after one beer too many, John finally gave into his exhaustion and made his way into the bedroom he was sharing with the twins. Perched on the edge of the bed, as he removed his clothes, he stopped and watched the children for a moment. Knowing that they were there, so peaceful, so unaware, brought him a small comfort. Smiling as JJ scrunched up his face into a sneeze; John pulled his pyjamas on and slid into the bed.
This was always the hardest part of the day; led alone, with no distractions, his mind simply wouldn't allow itself to stop thinking. What bothered him most was that there was nothing that he could do. Sure, he'd threatened to take matters into his own hands, but knowing that Elizabeth had made this sacrifice to give their children a chance to live a relatively normal life; he simply couldn't take that risk. Maybe he should have done more to stop Elizabeth accepting the IOA's demands in the first place; he doubted she would have listened though.
He was distracted from these very thoughts by the sound of whimpering across the room. Immediately, he climbed out of bed and sat down beside Olivia, squeezing her hand and stroking her hair. It had been like this every night since they'd been in Washington and Elizabeth had left. At some point during the night he would be awoken, that was if he was able to sleep, by this very sound and would go over to find Olivia grimacing as though she were in pain, and nothing he did seemed to calm her down until he ultimately woke her up just to provide an escape for her.
"Olivia, come on, up you get." He said, gently sitting up.
Rubbing her eyes, Olivia sat up and looked at him. For a moment, he continued to stroke her hair, suspecting that physical gestures would provide more comfort until she had woken up sufficiently. After a few minutes, Olivia smiled sadly at him.
"Another bad dream, huh?" He asked, softly.
Olivia nodded, "Yes."
"Was it the same one about being taken away from home by the people in white?" John asked, as delicately as he could manage.
Once again, Olivia nodded, "It scares me."
"I know it does, and you have been such a brave girl. Mommy and Daddy are very proud of you." Immediately, he regretted mentioning her.
"When is Mommy coming home?" Olivia asked.
"Soon, after our holiday. You're going to have a lot to tell her about."
"I miss her." Olivia said, looking away.
"I know. I miss her too." John said sadly.
Neither of them said anything else and Olivia burrowed her body into John's chest where he wrapped his arms around her, and rested his head on her own. Eventually, Olivia's breathing slowed as she fell asleep, and John returned to bed, hoping that she wouldn't be troubled in her sleep again that night. As it turned out, she wasn't. John knew this, as he lay awake until the creep of sun below the curtains.
Even though another night had passed without sleep, John wasn't in the mood to give up his quest for answers and passed another morning speaking to IOA officials who either didn't know what was going on, or didn't want him to know what was going. So when Richard Woolsey arrived, late in the afternoon, John shook his hand with both relief and trepidation.
Years of experience meant that nothing in Woolsey's countenance gave anything away as to the undertakings of the IOA regarding Elizabeth and that only served to intensify John's fear. He couldn't help but know that if Elizabeth was being released that he would have told them; that his smile would have told them. Instead, there was nothing, so John led Woolsey, followed by Carson and Rodney into the living room. Although he briefly considered asking Carson and Rodney to leave, deep down he knew that he wanted them there, and he knew that was why they were there.
"How are the children? John and Olivia, isn't it?" Woolsey asked calmly.
"As well as they can be given the circumstances." John said a little coolly.
Rather than replying, Woolsey smiled slightly and nodded before turning to look at of the window briefly to enjoy the view. For John, although he didn't show it in his countenance, this only served as the final, most damning indication that the news that Woolsey was bringing wasn't good. No, he knew Richard and he knew that Richard was postponing the inevitable moment when he had to...
"So, are you going to tell us what's going on?" John asked steadily.
Richard turned to him and met his eye, before removing his glasses to clean them. From the corner of his eye, John noticed the slight shuffle of Rodney and he knew. He just knew. If Rodney could sense it as well, the slim hopes that lingered were slipping away. Finally, Woolsey replaced his glasses and looked to John with a frown.
"I'm afraid the decision has been made to deactivate Doctor Weir's...Elizabeth's nanites."