Okay. Time for an explanation.

So basically I got really ill, and then I had a truck-ton of work to do...

Here's the thing; my writing time is my work time that I use for my writing. And my parents both think I need to stop writing (in my very rare free time, too!) and start doing my actual work. (Or read a book.) So for the next few weeks, I'm probably only going to update once every two or three days. I'm sorry ;(

Anyways, this is flushed Dirkjane for dogpawz.

Be warned. Roxy gets drunk. Jake gets drunk. It's a little ridiculous, just so you know... is it just me or is everything getting ridiculous?

Your name is JANE CROCKER.

Your ex-friend, Jake English, has just ripped you to metaphorical shreds and thrown your heart across the room. You'd just forgiven him for dumping you! And now he's smooching Roxy off in some corner somewhere!

You cannot believe he's now dating Roxy. He didn't even tell you! You are so angry at him that you want to just rip his head off and—okay. Calm down. What are you going to do now?

You are going to spy on them. Of course.

The problem is, though, that you don't know how to spy on people! You don't have the faintest idea how to go about it, nor do you have tons of gadgets like Dirk.

Wait! Dirk! You're sure he'll be happy to help you spy on Jake, since he had a crush on him too! You cannot believe that you didn't think of this sooner, and you bother him as fast as you can.

gG: Hello, Dirk!

tT: Yo, what's up? Roxy just told me you were having a fit.

gG: Yes, well, Jake just told me that he was going out with Roxy! Did you know about this?

tT: Jake is going out with Roxy?! Fucking God he must really be desperate.

gG: I know! And it doesn't help that Roxy's supposed to be my best friend!

tT: Well, I think that we both need to calm down, and then we'll be fine.

gG: I was actually thinking that we could spy on them and ruin their date.

tT: They're going out on a date tonight?

gG: Yeah, they're going to go eat dinner or something. Jake wanted Roxy to go see one of his stupid movies with him, but she refused.

tT: She's smart.

gG: For a drunkard.

tT: Be nice, she's still your friend.

gG: No, she's not. But anyway, are you in?

He takes a little while to respond, but when he does, it makes you huff.

tT: Nah, that kind of stuff's for kids.

gG: Aw, what? I already know where they're going, too! Roxy must've been drunk when she talked to me about this earlier!

tT: I wouldn't be surprised.

gG: Alright, so I'll meet you at that fancy shop near the street corner around seven?

tT: Oh hell, they're going there? Roxy'll be drunk within a minute! How are they going to get home?

gG: She begged to go there, but Jake made her promise she wouldn't drink.

tT: HAH.

gG: My thoughts exactly.

gG: Anyway, I'll see you some other time. I thought you'd help me on this one, but I guess not. Goodbye Dirk.

tT: Goodbye, Jane.

Hmph! Well, Dirk or not Dirk, you're still going to do this! And you'll be really good at it too!

Today is a good day.

Even though it's a terrible day.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER.

You hate lying to your friend Jane, you really do. But how were you supposed to tell her that you were already planning on spoiling Jake's date before she called you? You really wanted to do this by yourself.

Maybe you could make it up to her some other time. You guys haven't hung out in ages.

Your name is JANE CROCKER.

You hide in the bushes, holding a pair of binoculars and wearing your fake mustache. Because come on, this is really the only time you will ever get to use it and be able to justify it to yourself.

Oh look, there's Jake. And Roxy. Stupid whore. You're going to really chew her out for this some other time.

He's opening the door for her. God. Any sane person would think he was just so nice. But you know better.

Your name is DIRK STRIDER.

You were thinking about sending one of your robots, but you just couldn't resist going yourself. That's why you're decked out in a waiter's outfit, wearing a random top hat and moustache Jane gave you one day. You thought you'd give your one remaining friend a small tribute. Even if it means you look a little stupid.

"Hello," you say in a fake accent as they come in the door. "How may I help you today?"

"Can I have a table for two?" Jake asks, and you have a huge urge to smack him. No, dumbass, you can't. You can sit on the floor.

"Of course you can. Here, let me show to your seat."

You're honestly wondering what kind of a fancy restaurant this is if they let random people pose as waiters with no explanation whatsoever, but whatever.

"What would you like to drink?" you say once you've showed them to a stupid fancy table.

"JUICE," Jake says with a pointed look at Roxy. She pouts and they both giggle like fools, and then you walk off to get some drinks. You return with them about a minute later.

What they don't know is that you've completely filled their juice with booze.

Your name is JANE CROCKER.

You've just followed them inside, and a waiter is about to serve them some drinks. He pours juice into two dumbass cups, and then wonders off to get something.

You run up to the drinks and pour as much booze as you have in your backpack into the glasses before running away again.

Your name is ROXY LALONDE.

These drinks taste like ALCOHOL! Good waiter. He must know a girl who likes booze when he sees one.

Your name is JANE CROCKER.

You just realized something, which is that the waiter is wearing the top hat and moustache you got Dirk.

OH MY GOD. THE WAITER IS DIRK. Why didn't he tell you he was going to be here?

"Dirk!" you whisper-yell, running up to him. "What the hell are you doing?"

He jumps. "Um… I was just… yeah. I was… did you know… okay."

"Why did you lie to me? Did you not want to spend time with me? Do I make you as sick as I make Jake?"

Dirk takes off the hat and moustache. "What? No, of course not! And I'm sure he doesn't make you sick. But anyway," he says, grabbing your shoulders, "I just wanted to do this by myself. You can understand, can't you?"

Meanwhile, Roxy stumbles over and trips over their feet. "HAAAAAAIII," she groans into the carpet. "Hi Jirk and Daney! What are you doing heeeeere?"

You jump in panic. That God she's drunk. But you don't remember putting that much alcohol in…

"Uh, hi, I um…"

Jake flops over Roxy and rolls for a little on the floor before stopping and saying, "HEY DIRK! You're going on a date with Jane?"

"Uh, yeah!" you lie, hoping desperately that Dirk will play along.

"YOU'RE MATCHING!" Rose shouts and giggles. "WITH THE MOUSTACHE! Don't they look beautiful?"

Jake pulls on a random person's arm and drags them over to you two. "AREN'T THEY MATCHING?" he yells. "TELL ME THEY'RE MATCHING!"

The person slowly and carefully backs away.

'Excuse me," a man in a fancy suit says, "But you have to be more quiet or we will be forced to kick you out."

"I love your suit," Roxy mumbles. "Can I sleep with you?"

Needless to say, they are out of the restaurant in seconds. Roxy and Jake fall in a heap on the pavement and groan.

Your name is DIRK STRIDER.

Your fake-date is busy dragging your ex-boyfriend and your friend out of the road before a car hits them. What do you do?

You decide to help drag them out of the road, because there's a huge truck coming and you doubt he can see the four of you.

"Jane," you say, "I think we need to get them home."

"NO!" Roxy yells and flails around. "You guys haven't done anything yet! You need to go make out and stuff!"

"NO WE DO NOT," Jane and you say together. "Let's just—"

"Can we see a moooooovie?" Jake begs, grabbing onto your leg. "That would be so wonderful! Roxy didn't want me to see a movie because she doesn't LOVE ME ENOUGH…. Boooohooohoooo…"

He starts sobbing, so you pick him up and carry him over your shoulder. "Come on, dude, just breathe, and you'll be fine."

"COME ON, WE NEED TO GO SEE A MOVIE," Roxy laughs. "SO YOU GUYS CAN KISS AND STUFF."

"No, we are not going to kiss," Jane says. You are so thankful for her sometimes.

"How abouuuut," Roxy smiles, "We won't go home unless you guys kiss. And unless we see a movie."

You sigh. "We'll just drag you home, in that case."

"We will make it reaaally difficult for you," Jake smiles. "We'll puke allllll over you."

Roxy pulls a disgusted face and gives him a half-hearted slap. "Puke is so eeeww."

Why do you even put up with these guys on a regular basis? "Okay, fine, we'll do it after the movie." You give Jane what you hope is an inconspicuous nod, and she nods back.

"MOVIE TIME," Roxy says once you've carried them to the movie theatre. "Let's see a romantic comedy! I love those!"

You glare at her. "No. I do not want to see a romantic comedy."

"Come on, Dirk, you're my date and I want to see a romantic comedy," Jane laughs, and you give her a dirty look.

You're forced to pay for everything, because Jane didn't bring money and the rest of them are just drunk buggers who refuse to pay for anything. You walk into the theatre, and then Jake says, "You guys have to hold hands, or I'm going to throw popcorn at people!"

"What?" you huff, and then Jake actually dumps the entire box of popcorn on some poor person's head. You begrudgingly hold Jane's hand. It's pleasantly soft—NOPE. You're not going to think about this right now, you're going to focus on making sure that person doesn't punch Jake in the face.

Oh. Whoops. Too late for that.

The movie starts, and Roxy grabs your and Jane's hands so you can't let go of her hand. You huff and Jane actually begins to giggle.

"Don't encourage them, Jane," you whisper to her, and she actually starts to laugh even harder.

Your name is JANE CROCKER.

The movie goes on and on, so you and Dirk tell each other jokes to pass the time. Dirk is actually really funny when he puts his mind to it. You guys laugh so loud sometimes that the people in the theatre are getting really pissed. You never knew Dirk was so good to be around!

You actually feel yourself becoming more and more attracted to him as the night progresses, which is both wonderful and terrible. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FEELING LIKE THIS. Although Dirk did say that he goes both ways…

Roxy's long since fallen asleep, so you guess that Dirk could've taken his hand away if he wanted to. But no. It's still there.

Should you say something? Is your hair okay? Are you actually going to stay for the end of this terrible movie?

"Jane," Dirk says. "Jane. Do you want to leave now that Roxy and Jake asleep?"

"Okay."

Your name is DIRK STRIDER.

You actually had a good time tonight. Roxy and Jake have passed out in the back seat, and Jane is sitting next to you giving you directions to her house. You already know where it is. She just thinks you need to be careful.

You eventually reach her house, and you sigh. You almost don't want her to leave. She really made tonight bearable. And she looks beautiful even with the fake moustache.

"Bye, Jane," you say as she gets out of the car. You follow her, and when she tries to open the door you press a small kiss to her lips. She freezes up, and before she can slap you or anything, you say, "I had a wonderful time. I'll see you again soon."

And then you go back in the car and drive away, watching her smile as she goes to open the door.

FINAL NOTE: I've replaced (well, I'm replacing as I type this) the 10th chapter with a list of all the requests I currently have lined up. And I'll keep updating it as I go along.