It's in the Genes

Author: Cheryl W.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or any rights to Dark Angel or Supernatural, nor am I making any profit from this story.

Summary: Crossover with DA and Supernatural -AU– It's the Winchesters who break Alec from jail in Hello/Goodbye and then they start road tripping together. No slash.

Author's note: From here on out there are spoilers galore for No Rest for the Wicked. And I goofed!! I mentioned that they were looking for Lilith in the earlier chapters but, really at that point in the storyline, Sam and Dean didn't know who held Dean's contract. Sorry for the confusion! So as this chapter unfolds, Alec doesn't know who holds Dean's contract or about the colt getting lifted from them.

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Chapter 15

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Alec couldn't leave his room, couldn't put his phone down, couldn't stop looking at his watch, at the calendar he had posted on his wall for the sole purpose of tracking this countdown. Tomorrow. It ended tomorrow: the countdown, most likely his family, the life he wanted though knew he never really deserved. Dean's deal was due tomorrow and Sam had not called. Dean hadn't called. His phone had remained cruelly silent, not even offering false hope in his hour of need.

Leaning his head against the window, the outside world marred by the moisture in his eyes, he felt his every nerve ending itching for action, ached to do something to stop the clock. Wanted so badly to shut out his thoughts, to hang onto hope, to not second guess Sam and Dean's affection for him, to believe that they were going to call, that Dean wasn't going to die, couldn't. That if he dared enough to love someone as strongly as he loved Dean, he wouldn't be taken away from him. That fate couldn't be that cruel.

Closing his eyes, he clenched his fist and cursed his naïveté. Fate didn't care about what he wanted, about what he needed. Didn't care that he needed his brothers, both of them. That Dean didn't deserve to die, would never deserve the torment of Hell. Had come to bitterly understand that love was a double edged sword, that it had the capacity to hurt as much as it healed, could miraculously save you or callously condemn you. That just because he loved someone, it didn't mean they didn't leave him.

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Standing in the middle of the room, Joshua worriedly watched Alec pace in the small confines. Knew his young friend was coming apart, was enduring more than he could bear, knew just as certainly that he didn't have the means to help Alec. "Are you alright?" he gently asked, though he knew the answer, honestly didn't expect to get the truth from Alec.

It was too ridiculous a question, had Alec exhaling an unsettling, off kilter laugh. He was so far from alright that he couldn't even verbalize a comeback. The sound seemed to galvanize Joshua because he stepped closer, gripped his arm, met his eyes head on. Instantly Alec saw the worry, the affection in the big transgenic's eyes but it only made the absence of his big brothers harder to take.

"You aren't alone, Alec. Max here. I'm here. Dean and Sam, they will come back," Joshua reassured, the look in Alec's eyes reminding him too sharply of his little brother's hopelessness when father left.

"Like your father came back, Josh?" Alex taunted, his own hurt too great not to inflict hurt on others, even onto a friend that only wanted to help him.

The barb was unexpected, hurt Joshua but he understood Alec's need to lash out…just as he understood Isaac's need to inflict pain the way it had been inflicted on him. "Father didn't come back…didn't mean he didn't want to."

"Yeah, well, what we want in life and what we get…" Alec ripped his arm from Joshua's hold, stepped back, "it's not always the same thing. Just because Lydecker stole Dean's blood, did a little lab hocus pocus and created me, that doesn't make us brothers, does it?! When they needed me before, to maybe make sure they didn't lose their dad…where was I?" Alec lowly challenged, eyes blazing with self hatred. "I was playing soldier, doing Manticore's bidding, killing all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. I'm something they should be hunting…not adopting," he sneered, welcoming his anger because it felt so much better than letting his fear continue to run rampant in him. "It was stupid of me to let my guard down. I know how it ends, how it always ends when I care about someone."

"Story's not done," Joshua cut in firmly as he stalked to the calendar, stabbed at the next day's block that had no markings on it, revealed nothing…except the print '2nd' was faded, like fingers had brushed over it too many times, had tried to make it not exist. "Calendar still here, tomorrow not here yet. Whatever you don't want to happen…it hasn't happened yet, right? There is still time."

"Time for what?! To write his eulogy!? To breakdown and call them and maybe screw up whatever plans they have…to throw away whatever slim chance at victory they have going for them?!" Alec thundered. But his voice broke on his next words and the brave mask he wore was discarded, leaving only despair in its place. "I won't even get to see him." A tear slipped free, tracked down his face as he finally said aloud what hurt the most. He met Joshua's gentle eyes, choked out, "And you can't make that better, Joshua. You just can't."

"Alec…I'm sorry. I don't know ……"Joshua hesitantly said, wishing he understood even as he knew it wasn't his place to ask, that trying to get Alec to tell him would only hurt his young friend more.

"I…I appreciate that you came by but I just want to be alone," Alec nearly whispered as he turned his back on Joshua, on the hope Joshua wanted to offer, on the affection he saw in the transgenic's eyes.

"If you need me…I'll come back," Joshua offered, promised what Alec's brothers had not. But if Alec made the correlation, he didn't acknowledge it, didn't turn around. With sorrow sinking into his heart, Joshua walked out of the room, closed the door behind him, left Alec alone with his despair, knew he hadn't helped Alec. That he couldn't help Alec anymore than he had been able to help his little brother with his own sadness when father didn't return.

Looking to the closed door, thinking of the nearly broken man inside, Joshua feared that he would lose yet another brother to despair. Because, if Alec's brothers never came back, he didn't know if Alec would survive that loss. Would want to survive it. Thinking about his conversation with Dean, he remembered the oldest Winchester said Alec wasn't thanking him for making him his brother…and maybe that was partially true ..then and now. If Alec had never met the Winchesters he wouldn't be hurting now, wouldn't feel more alone than he had ever felt before. But Alec also wouldn't have ever laughed so often, smiled so genuinely, been so happy and content and sure of himself if he hadn't found his brothers, if they hadn't found him. Given the choice, Joshua knew Alec would still choose to have his brothers, to be a little brother, to even suffer this pain, this misery because family was worth it, Dean and Sam were worth it. And his brothers, they had shown Alec what his worth was, that it appraised way more than Manticore had invested in him, could ever invest it him. That, to them, he was priceless.

With the conviction that Alec's brothers would do everything they could not to hurt Alec, not to betray the trust he had in them, to come back to him, Joshua walked down the corridor, walked away from Alec. He of all people knew that, sometimes there was no substitute for family, for the ones you loved. And until they came back, all you had to cling to was hope.

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The room was in shambles. A wall was stained with Scotch where a bottle had impacted, a broken lamp lay upon the couch and even the usually treasured tv had been tossed off its stand, lay screen face down on the floor. But none of that devastation neared the level imploding in Alec. His trembling form was bathed in the weak light filtering through the window, light from the rising sun. With a growl of frustration and despair, he punched the wall sending his fist breaking through the wood. But in the next instant, his anger was gone, leaving him defenseless.

Dropping his head to the wall, a long held back sob slipped free. He could no longer shut out the pain that was rendering the world apart, rending his world apart. Could no longer cling faithfully to hope, could no longer pretend that he could endure what came next. "Please," he gasped out, begging for help, for his phone to ring, for Dean to not die. "Please!" he shouted a moment later, slamming both his hands against the wall, demanding mercy where there seemed to be none.

A beat later, his shaking, bloody-knuckled hand was instantly diving for his ringing phone while his heart thudded in his chest, proving that he hadn't lost his last tendril of hope. Not yet. "Hello?" he answered tentatively, hopefully, voice so raw that it was unmistakable that he was on the edge, was practically over it. In that beat of silence he prayed that the person on the other side of the connection was someone that knew him well enough to hear that emotion in his voice. Was someone that cared that he was shattering, would do whatever he could to make this stop: his hurt, this ticking clock, the impending end of whatever future he had come to see for himself, for his family.

His caller cleared his throat and Alec lost the last of his breath. Dean didn't need to speak: he knew that voice, that gesture. His brother hadn't abandoned him after all and apparently neither had mercy because Dean had called.

"Hey Alec, it's…" Dean began, as if his little brother wouldn't recognize his voice, hadn't been begging to hear it for months…since his brothers had left TC.

"Dean," his brother's name came out of Alec as a whoosh of affectionate, relieved breath of air. And it felt like he had not uttered his brother's name forever, like he had made it taboo. A name too dear, too painful to say aloud.

"Is this a bad time? 'Cause I can call back later…" Dean offered, though he knew there wasn't too much later that he had left. The warmth, the tremor in Alec's tone, it was unexpected, weakened some of his walls, made him think of things he didn't want to: like maybe Alec was as desperate to save him as Sam was. That maybe he couldn't trust Alec to protect himself above him anymore than he could Sam. Made him wonder if Sam wasn't the only little brother that he had to worry would contemplate crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed.

"No!" Alec shouted, panicked that Dean would hang up, sever the tie before he could show Dean he wouldn't stand for that, that they were in this together. "No. I've been waiting for your call," he downplayed, knew Dean didn't need or want his emotional outburst. 'Feels like I've been waiting for you to call most of my life. That somehow, even when I didn't know you or Sam existed, I missed you…was missing something in myself that no one and nothing could fill. Until now.'

"I've been watching the news, I'm proud of you Alec," Dean praised. After the first positive news coverage, it had been hard not calling and congratulating his little brother, had left him badly wanting to just hear Alec's voice, to detect the smirk in his brother's tone. "Your plan is really coming together. I bet you'll soon be getting medals instead of arrest warrants. Too bad you're not going by Alec Winchester, the name could use some good PR for a change," he joked, unearthing some levity for Alec where he hadn't been able to for Sam. Had learned that it was a lost cause with Sam, his brother knew him too well, was there with him, knew he had no defenses left, could see the exhaustion in his eyes, his need for this to be over, one way or the other. But he could shelter Alec from that knowledge, from his weakness.

Instead of his heart swelling at Dean's praise, at the idea that Dean wanted him to publicly declare the Winchester name, Alec's heart twisted painfully. Because all that, it just made him, inconceivably, treasure Dean more, made the threat of losing his brother more unbearable than it already was. "Dean.." He choked out, needing Dean to stop, to not be nice, to not treat him like he was his brother, like he deserved his love. It was destroying him from the inside out.

Hearing the plea in Alec's voice, Dean exhaled, knew that Alec wasn't placated by his deflection anymore than Sam ever was. Shuffling his stance against the Impala, seeing his breath leaking into the air, his gut told him he hadn't rehearsed his speech for Alec enough, had felt the same thing when he gave Sam the one he tailored for him. Had come to understand that different brothers required different approaches.

Sam was in this as deeply as he was, was bound to this battle in ways he wished he wasn't, in ways he wished he could sever. But Alec, Alec didn't have to be. He could be Alec's big brother one last time and save him, save him when he couldn't save himself, when he might not be able to save Sam.

"We think we know who holds my contract and we're going after her," Dean stated, knew it was actually a cruelty to give Alec wanted he wanted, thought he wanted because Alec wouldn't like what came next. Might hate him for it…like he had after he learned about his deal, that he was might be leaving him behind.

Where Alec needed to hear conviction in his brother's too rough voice, strength, all he detected was exhaustion, resignation. "Where should I meet you?" he quickly asked, stalking to the other side of the trashed room, picking up his packed duffle bag and heading for the door

Drawing on the strength he reserved solely for the service of saving the ones he loved, Dean bluntly commanded, "You're not going with us, Alec." Because he could keep at least one of his brothers from paying an unholy price for the mess he had made, could succeed with Alec where he was failing with Sam.

Panic and hurt seared through Alec, stole away his breath. Dean couldn't shut him out, not now! Dean had called, was alive, was talking to him. How could he expect him to simply give up on him, to not fight for him, to say goodbye?! "Yes, I am!"he growled, his own resolve flaring to life, overshadowing his fear, even his need to be the loyal little brother. Because, crap, he was loyal to Dean, but that loyalty…it went beyond following Dean's orders. Way beyond….dangerously beyond that.

"No, Alec. You're not," Dean shot back heatedly but knew Alec well enough to know he wouldn't back down, not until he saw the whole picture, made his own assessment. Dean gave a bitter bark of laughter. The whole picture?! It was as pathetic as it was bound to be gruesome. "Alec, our plans," he scoffed, "they are pretty pathetic, man. They have a snowball's chance in….well, you know…of working." His voice dropped an octave when he continued, needed Alec to see why he couldn't come along, why he shouldn't even want to. "No use you dying with us, Alec. You have a family already: Max and Joshua. Stay with them."

Coming to a stop in his room's doorway, Alec, stammering, repeated Dean's words, "No.. use…" his voice breaking as fury, anguish and terror overran his emotional floodgates all at once. "You bastard," he growled as he braced his free hand on the doorframe to keep himself upright, together. But the hurled curse was a sob because he couldn't shut out Dean's words, couldn't even deny them: 'dying with us…no use you dying with us.' Dean wasn't going to let him fight at his side. Dean was giving up, wasn't even trying to maintain his big brotherly protective role, was no longer shielding him from the worst of truths.

Through the slur, Dean detected the devastation, knew that Alec was railing back out of pain, fear, not true hatred. "I know it doesn't mean much but I really am sorry for how things have turned out, Alec. If I had known about you sooner, we could have had more time together, you have to believe that," he implored, needing Alec to know he had regrets, that he wanted a future with him, wished he had had more of a past with him. Giving a forced laugh, he tried to lighten the dark mood he had brought to the 'room', tried to shelter Alec one last time, "Course that might be a curse instead. Sam, he's had to put up with me, for what…23 years and he'll tell you it's not been a picnic."

"Stop," Alec choked out, pleaded as tears slipped down his cheeks, as his hand increased its white knuckled grip on the phone, on the only link he had to his brother. "Dean, please just…" But he couldn't go on, couldn't say more, didn't have the breath..or the words. Only 'Stop!!' was screaming through him, whistling through his soul like it was vacant and nothing was there but agony. This agony.

Closing his eyes at the anguish in Alec's voice, Dean bowed his head, clenched the phone tighter in his grip. 'What a piss poor brother I've been to him. But he has to know it's not what I want, to leave, to not be there for him, with him. "I tried Alec," he ardently vowed, voice so low, so rough, so vulnerable. But he trusted Alec, knew his little brother wouldn't use his weakness to hurt him anymore than Sam ever would. "And I'm still trying but…" He drew in a breath, said what he hadn't said to Sam. "The odds…they aren't good. At all, Alec."

"So let me try to improve them," Alec's offer more insistence than suggestion as he greedily latched onto the opening Dean had unwittingly given to him. 'Let me be a part of this family, Dean. A real part…even if it means we all die together. I'm Ok with that.'

But Dean's reply was instantaneous, all big brother uncompromising steel. "No."

"You're letting Sam go with you!" burst from Alec even as he cringed, knew he sounded like a pouting child, a pouting little brother. 'Fine, that's what I am. A little brother, Dean's little brother and he has to face that…accept that!'

Dean's voice was hard, full of frustration as he repeated, "Letting him go?! If I don't agree to go with him, Sam will go alone on this suicide mission." He had seen the resolve in Sam's eyes, had heard the desperation in his tone as he knelt on the basement floor, conjured up Ruby, asked for her help to save his life. And, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't misinterpret what was in Sam's eyes every time he looked at him: terror…and love. No, Sam was leaving him no choice, no choice at all. They were going to fight at each other's sides, come Hell or high water. Literally.

"Well, you're not leaving me behind either, Dean!" Alec said dangerously, ready and willing to fight for his right to stand at his brother's side, both of them and defend what was his: his brother, his family. Hearing Dean's intake of breath, he cut off his brother's protest ruthlessly. "Your father, he didn't shelter you, knew that if he did that, it would only make you vulnerable. Instead he taught you about evil, showed you how to hunt, did it so you could protect yourselves, protect your family, be ready to survive anything that came at you. And, like it or not, you taught me the same thing, that family, that Winchesters always have each other's backs, always fight for each other. So am I a Winchester or not, Dean?!" he demanded harshly, hoped his tone concealed the way his heart was pounding in his chest, the fear that was gathering in his gut, the worry that Dean would shatter the bond they had…even as Alec knew his brother would only do it to save him. 'I don't want to be saved if you're not Dean. Why can't you see that?!'

Dean's desire to protect Alec, to keep him safe, it wasn't stronger than his need to prove to Alec that they were family: he and Sam and him. They were family and nothing…nothing could undo that. He wouldn't let it. Giving a quick bark of laughter, he reassured, "Oh, you're a Winchester, Alec. Through and through."

Releasing the breath he had been holding, Alec felt part of himself settle into a newly made place in his soul. Manticore had droned on and on about never abandoning your unit and he had always thought that was a crock. His unit hadn't even liked him, certainly hadn't known him, had abandoned him time and time again. But now, for the first time, he had a unit, knew that abandoning them? Them abandoning him? It would be akin to suicide, to murder. "Well, then you know the only place for me to be is with you. You are my brother and I can't lose you, alright? I can't sit on my hands knowing that you're fighting for your life. And if something happens to you…I can't bear to live the rest of my life wondering if I could have saved you. It's not 'or' with you and Sam…you live or Sam lives, it never was. And it's not 'or' with me either. It's all or nothing. We're all in or all out. Either we all survive or none of us do. Because, whether you want to hear this or not, I would rather die with you than live without you, Dean…and so would Sam."

Warmed even as he was terrified by Alec's devotion, Dean found a smirk turning up his lips. Alec's speech wasn't so different than the one he had delivered to Sam half an hour ago. "If we go down, we should go down swinging?" he asked wryly, plagiarized his own speech.

"Yeah!" Alec happily agreed, relieved that Dean got it, finally grasped what he was trying to say, understood that he couldn't be anywhere but fighting at his side. "Now that that's solved, tell me the game plan. Who holds your contract?" he quickly demanded, didn't want Dean to rethink his decision, to devise another speech about him staying out of the fight.

Suppressing a sigh, Dean admitted defeat on another battle field front. It was wrong how many victories Sam and now Alec had claimed in the recent months. He would have been bitter about it had he not known his little brothers had only waged their battles for him, to save him. He prayed he could return the favor, could save them…even if he couldn't manage to save himself that night. "Lilith. We think Lilith holds my contract."

"Lilith, the little girl? The one that wants Sam dead, that Lilith?" Alec returned, surprise and disgust in his tone as he walked out of his room, bag over his shoulder, already planning his route out of town.

"One and the same. We think she's in New Harmony, Indiana," Dean supplied, trepidation tightening in his chest at the confrontation to come, at the danger Sam and now Alec would be in, all because of him.

"And your plan is…"

"Crappy," Dean groused back but faltered under Alec's soft entreaty of "Dean…." Exhaling, Dean elaborated, "Our plan is to kill her and hope that breaks my deal. Except we've traded up the Colt for Ruby's knife. Don't ask why. I'll tell you everything later," he quickly said, even as he internally qualified, 'well, Sam will tell you everything later', because he couldn't think about there not being a later for Sam, for Alec. If he did, if he honestly thought about his brothers dying trying to protect him… he would tie Sam to a chair, disconnect his call with Alec and take the Impala and head south until the Hounds tracked him down.

Alec's hope was bolstered hope that Dean believed there would be a later. Dismissing the details, he focused on the here and now, the fight to come. "So I'll meet you in Indiana."

Knowing that Alec would be there, that he would get to see his little brother again, maybe for the last time, it was a blessing… and a curse for Dean. Added to the tally of what he was risking, what was being risked for him.

Clenching his jaw, Dean looked off to the horizon, wondered if it was the last sunrise he would see. And he didn't even have his usual barriers in place, couldn't conjure up his standard bravado, was finally brave enough, weak enough to admit, even if it was only to himself, that he didn't want to die…definitely didn't want to leave Sam, leave Alec. Perfect Winchester timing for a revelation of that magnitute..when it was probably far too late. Trying to shake off the darkness clawing at his last thread of hope, he broke from his thoughts, said, "We've got a long drive so we'll probably only get there late in the day."

With Dean's simple words, Alec felt boneless with relief, knew them for what they were: permission, acceptance, gratitude…even affectionate welcome. He was going to see Dean, was going to be part of the fight. And he wasn't going to let Dean die. He just wasn't. "I'm heading out now. I'll stay on the outskirts of town until you call me." Stalking down the corridor, his mind was already there, with Dean, with his brothers. It was the only thing he could think of, the only thing that mattered.

"Lilith, she isn't like anything you have gone up against before, Alec. Yeah, we have Ruby's knife but…there's no guarantee it will kill her. And even if she's dead, my deal…it might still stand," Dean rationalized, needed Alec to know the true risks, that the possibility to save him…it might not even exist.

Alec didn't let Dean's words smother his hope, couldn't. "Doesn't mean your deal won't break with her death. And if that doesn't work, we'll kill the Hell Hounds…as many as Hell has to send."

Though the bruises that Ruby had inflicted on his face made the gesture painful, Dean couldn't help smirking. "You better watch it, Alec. You're sounding more and more like a Winchester every day."

Alec's face beamed with a smile and he cockily drawled, "Thanks for the compliment." He was rewarded with Dean's chuckle and it eased more of the fear around his heart. Dean was still alive and he and Sam were going to make sure Dean stuck around to be their big brother. Any other possibility was totally unacceptable.

But when Dean spoke again, the levity was gone, was replaced by determination that was all Winchester. "Alec, if things do go…badly. I need you to do something for me…"

At Dean's words, fear shot through Alec anew. "Dean…" he protested, didn't want to hear more, didn't want Dean to even consider the idea that they weren't going to save him. Hated that Dean had practically voiced it aloud, would not tolerate Dean giving him some posthumous order. But Dean's quiet, imploring "Alec, please," stole his breath away, made his protests die in his throat.

For all Dean had given him, he hadn't asked for anything back in return. Nothing. Until now.

Drawing in a shaky breath, terrified of what came next, Alec croaked out, "What do you want me to do?" because he honestly didn't know of anything he wouldn't willingly do for Dean, wouldn't do for his family…Didn't know until Dean answered him.

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TBC

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Thanks for the awesome encouragement on the last chapter! Every kind word gets me back to my computer, has me daring to continue to tell this crazy story.

I actually wrote a really long, 20 page chapter but decided I shouldn't torture someone into trying to read it in one sitting. So I've broken it down into three chapters and, after final proofing, I hope to be able to post them soon. I guess I feel like I have to keep your attention before I get totally Kripke'd by the new episode. (I won't mention the details because I hate spoilers…so please mums the word on any unseen eps. I LOVE suspense, and mystery and surprises…well in TV shows and movies, not real life.)

Have a wonderful day!

Cheryl W.