Chapter 16

Valedictorian and Top Gun

While the Cylons made no attempt to overtly hinder the training of new pilots, they did nothing to help either. The maintenance of aging equipment became an issue as funds were increasingly diverted to other projects that the Cylons felt no need to explain to the Colonials. Those who cooperated with the Cylons were given an almost unlimited free reign in their spending. One of the most well-known of these was the scientist and Artificial Intelligence expert Dr. Gaius Baltar.

-Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War

.

Lieutenant Lee Adama stood on the stage in front of his graduating class from the Academy. He had been a lieutenant for six hours now, ever since the morning ceremony when he'd gotten his commission as an officer. That afternoon he was graduating at the top of his class of three hundred twelve students. He had just finished giving the valedictory address to his fellow cadets and their families.

His speech hadn't been nearly as good as that of their commencement speaker, Laura Roslin, the Secretary of Education, but it had been shorter so he knew that no one cared. He doubted that many of them were listening anyway. It had been a tough year and everyone was looking forward to several weeks of vacation before they started Flight School or their next training assignment.

He and Blaire were going on a much-anticipated vacation. Last night at a graduation party for him, his parents and John Gallagher had given them the round-trip tickets to one of the small islands off Caprica's south coast. Included was a week's stay for the two of them at a nice resort.

John had done exactly what he said he wasn't going to do as far as Lissa was concerned. He'd not only gotten involved, he was living with her. Not that Lee saw her very often. She had come to his party with John, but had seemed bored most of the evening. The only time Lee had seen her acting like she was having a good time was when she was talking to Zak and later dancing with him. Zak was a total charmer when it came to women even if they were older than him.

Blaire had talked to Zak, too, and danced with him once, but Blaire was just naturally sweet and friendly. She had talked to everybody so Lee didn't think too much about it. After all, she had left the party with him.

John was here today at his graduation, of course, sitting with Lee's parents and Zak and Blaire. They were on the front row in the section reserved for the parents and other guests. John even had on a new suit and tie. Bill was wearing his dress gray uniform. Lee felt a deep sense of pride that his father was the highest-ranking officer in the auditorium that day. The sash displaying his medals was impressive.

At the end of Lee's speech he sat down to a lot more applause than he thought he would get.

Colonel Charles Winters, the Academy's top administrator got up, made a few remarks, and began reading the names of that year's graduates. As he read each name, the cadet walked across the stage and was handed his or her diploma. Lee didn't have to walk across the stage. Colonel Winters brought his diploma first and handed it to him and then shook his hand.

After everything was over and the new graduates were dismissed, Laura spoke to Colonel Winters for a few minutes, and then she came over to him. She looked really beautiful today in a sapphire blue suit. His father had told him that she was thirty-eight now, but she looked a lot younger. Her hair was down around her shoulders, and it glowed with auburn highlights under the stage lighting. Lee still felt a sense of awe when he was around her.

She shook his hand. "Congratulations. Your speech was concise and interesting. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. The tribute you paid to the pilots we lost during the three days of fighting was very touching. I could tell it came from your heart."

"Thank you," he said. "I was on the Galactica with my father and the rest of his crew during those three days. That's one of the reasons I decided to become a pilot."

"I didn't know that."

"Dad must have forgotten to mention it to you. Your speech was better than mine, though. You're a real inspiration to all of us. He told me what you've done for the refugees, what you're still doing."

"Thank you. I'm sure you understand why I've tried so hard for them, Lieutenant Adama." She smiled.

For a moment he saw something in her eyes, a memory stirred, perhaps. Was she thinking of his father? He had once been Lieutenant Adama also. In fact when he was in love with Laura Roslin he was Lieutenant Adama.

"Please, call me Lee."

"Only if you'll call me Laura."

"Deal," he said and smiled.

At that moment his family walked up. His mother hugged him and then his father and then Zak and then John and finally Blaire. He kept his arm around her. He noticed that his father and Laura shook hands. He also noticed that his father held the handshake just a few seconds longer than he did with anyone else.

Laura greeted his entire family by their names. Then she turned to his father. "I don't believe I've met this young lady or the other gentleman," she said to him.

"Sorry," Bill said. "This is Blaire Merric, Lee's girlfriend."

"Oh, my, Lee is a lucky man. You are a beautiful young woman. What do you do?"

"I work at Fleet Headquarters in communications."

"Then you're smart as well a beautiful."

"Thank you," Blaire murmured.

Bill continued. "And this is John Gallagher, Captain John Gallagher I should say. He's a good friend of ours, especially Lee's. John, this is Laura Roslin."

She stepped around Bill and held out her hand. "My pleasure, Captain Gallagher. Any friend of the Adamas is my friend as well."

"Madame Secretary," John said as he took her hand. "The pleasure is mine."

"Oh, please, Lee and I just went through this. It's Laura to my friends." She smiled at him.

"John," he said returning the smile.

Lee noticed Gallagher was still holding her hand. He had never seen John blush like that before. John seemed finally to realize and released her hand.

Laura didn't lose her composure at all. Like most beautiful women, she was probably used to men acting like that when they met her.

"Bill introduced you as Captain," Laura said. "Are you in the military, too?"

"No, ma'am. I'm a commercial pilot…uh…cargo…pilot."

"John's flown almost everything," Lee said. "Including a Viper during the First War."

Laura smiled. "That doesn't surprise me at all. You Viper pilots are a tight-knit group, aren't you? Sharing things the rest of us can't even imagine."

"Combat can produce that bond. You save a man's life or he saves yours, you carry that with you for the rest of your life. All of us do."

"Well put, John. I can tell you've been there."

"Yes, ma'am. Bill and I have both been there."

Laura glanced at his father, "I don't doubt that at all," she said softly.

A tall young man with slightly-curly brown hair came up beside Laura. She turned and he said, "Excuse me, Madame Secretary, your car is waiting. You have that four o'clock ribbon cutting at the new elementary school near King's Bay. It will take us almost an hour to get there."

"Thank you, Billy." She turned back to them. "I'm so sorry, I'd love to continue this conversation, but I have to go. We worked so hard to get the funding for that school. The old one was destroyed in the bombing. Thank the gods there were no children there when it happened. Bill, Carolanne, Zak, it's nice to see you again. Blaire, hang on to this fine young man. John, it's very nice to have met you. Lee, congratulations on your graduation and on being first in your class. I know your family, especially your father, and your friends are proud of you. Good luck with Flight School. I hope to see all of you again soon."

"Thank you," Lee said. He watched her walk with Billy to the edge of the stage and down the steps. Her ever-present Marine guard fell into step behind them. The skirt of her suit came just above her knees. He'd never noticed before what nice legs she had.

He glanced at his father. Bill was watching her. John was watching her, too.

They were all going out to eat. On the way to the parking lot John stopped long enough to light a cigarette and then caught up with Lee and Blaire who were still walking arm in arm. John was uncharacteristically silent.

Later Lee got a chance to ask John what he thought about Laura. "Well, you've met her. What do you think?"

"She's everything you said and then some. I'm sure she thinks I'm an idiot."

"Why would she think that? Maybe because you blushed like a little schoolgirl and held her hand for five minutes?"

"Did I? Damn. I knew I'd done something stupid. She was very gracious about it."

"Yes, she was, wasn't she? Maybe you should ask her for a date."

"Forget it, Lee. She's a member of the President's Cabinet. I'm a cargo pilot. I told you before she's way out of my league...way out."

"That sort of thinking precludes anything anyway, doesn't it?"

"Just drop it. I'm living with Lissa. I'm fine with that."

Lee dropped it but he wondered. Something had happened recently with John and Lissa, something he hadn't shared with Lee, something that was bugging him. He was still living with her, but John no longer sounded like he was fine with it.

...

Flight School was a lot harder than Lee thought it would be. He spent the first four weeks in the classroom, studying Viper technology and instrument navigation. Because there were only fifty-two Mark V and VI Vipers at the Caprica Airbase with no hope of getting more, the instructors were especially hard in the classroom and in the simulators. They wanted only the best students to make it to an actual Viper. So far Lee was at the top of his class. His simulator scores were among the highest, too.

There were plenty of Mark II Vipers now, thanks to something Bill had done. Lee had heard a rumor that some engineers were secretly hard at work on the design of a new Mark VII Viper. His father told him that was nonsense. The Cylons would never allow it.

Lee had a textbook-perfect first four weeks of Flight School. When he started survival training, however, something went wrong in the vacuum chamber that was used to simulate deep space. The old flight suit he was wearing had a pin-sized hole. At some point he actually heard the suit leaking, but by then he wasn't able to speak. He tried anyway. He opened his mouth. His last conscious memory was of the saliva on his tongue beginning to boil. By the time someone realized he was in trouble and started the emergency re-pressurization procedure, he was nearly dead.

He spent twelve hours in a decompression chamber and three days in the hospital. The doctors assured him he would suffer no long-term ill effects. The short-term effects were another matter.

Sometime during the twelve hours he spent in the decompression chamber he first saw the girl. He could never decide later if she was a dream or a hallucination. He didn't ask the doctors. He was sure they would have a multi-syllable medical term for her like they did for everything else he had experienced. He had already heard the term hypoxemic hypoxia used too much. Why didn't they just say the oxygen level in his blood had gotten to a dangerously low level? Why didn't they just say that the human brain when deprived of oxygen does strange things?

Whoever or whatever the girl was, he must have conjured her from somewhere in his subconscious. At least that's what he later told himself. He finally realized she couldn't have been real.

She had soft blond hair and a perfect body and she swam naked in front of his vision with the grace of a mermaid in the ocean. She was the painting of Posiden's beautiful daughter he'd seen one time at the Caprica Museum of Fine Art. Or maybe she was Aphrodite, goddess of Love. Or maybe she was in an adventure story he'd once read, a princess rising from her bath in a garden pool as the hero watched, the water touching her skin like a lover's kiss. Her green eyes held all the stars in the universe and she was smiling at him.

He could reach out and almost touch her.

She stayed with him the rest of the time he was in the chamber, and just when he thought she would stay always out of his reach, she leaned down and kissed him. Her mouth was warm like sunlight and sweet like a Siren's Kiss and it held more than temptation. Her kiss held the gift of love.

When the medical team removed him from the decompression chamber and put him on the stretcher to take him to the hospital, he told them to bring her, too.

"Sure, buddy, we'll do that," one of them said to him and smiled. Lee shut his eyes. When he opened them again, he was in the hospital and the girl was gone.

He later realized that the first crack in his relationship with Blaire appeared during the three days he spent in the hospital. She begged him to quit Flight School and pursue something else. He wondered how she could even have asked. She knew how much he wanted to become a pilot.

Whether or not the girl in his vision had anything to do with what happened to him and Blaire was not a question he could answer.

The first day and night that he was in the hospital, his father was at his side every time he opened his eyes. Sometime his mother was there, too, but always his father. Lee knew he was being kept mildly sedated. He later found out that he'd been combative at first and that the doctors feared seizures. He had no memory of that at all.

One time when he surfaced from sleep, his father was standing by the bed, his hand on Lee's shoulder. Bill's eyes were tired and red-rimmed. Lee wanted to tell him about the girl, but his tongue felt thick and his mouth was too dry when he tried to speak. A nurse or maybe a doctor came in and Bill stepped back from the bed.

She checked the nasal cannula that was delivering his oxygen. Then she checked his IV and all the monitors he was hooked to and put a stethoscope to his chest in several places. She said, "He's doing fine, commander."

"I thought I'd lost him," his father said and his voice cracked.

"He's going to be fine," she repeated. She had a hypodermic and injected something into his IV line. "The pulmonary edema has cleared up. We'll take him off the oxygen soon. He just needs to rest right now."

Lee closed his eyes. There was something in his father's voice he'd never heard before. Was it new, or had it always been there and he was just hearing it for the first time? Was the girl responsible for that, too?

"Dad?" His voice was little more than a whisper.

His father was back at his side.

"There was a girl…" he said thickly. His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes again.

"Was she beautiful?" his father asked.

The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. He thought he said the words out loud but he wasn't sure.

"You rest, son. I'm not going to leave you."

Lee smiled, or thought he did. She gave me the gift of love.

On the second morning they took him off the oxygen and started reducing the sedative.

Late on the second afternoon his father was gone and John was sitting in the chair by his bed when he woke up.

"You know some guys will do anything to get a little afternoon nap." John said. "Leave it to you to come up with something this original."

Lee tried to speak. He sounded like a frog croaking, but his tongue felt a lot better.

John stood up and held a cup of ice water while Lee drank from the straw. "You scared me, Lee. How do you feel?"

"Who's Lee? And who are you?" He managed to hold a blank stare for a full five seconds. The look on John's face was worth it, and then John realized he'd been had.

"That's not funny. Get out of that bed so I can kick your ass."

"That'd be easy for you to do in this hospital gown I'm wearing."

"On second thought, you stay right where you are. So I'll ask again, how do you feel?"

"A lot better than I did yesterday."

"Good." John squeezed the lower part of Lee's arm. "Try not to do something like that again."

"Not enough fun," Lee said. "I don't think I'll try it again."

John sat down. "Don't mind me. I'm just going to sit here. Your dad needed to go home and get some sleep. I told him I'd stay until he got back. I don't know if you realize it, but he's been with you since you've been in here. He was outside that decompression chamber the whole time, too. You had us worried."

"He was there the whole time?"

"Lee, I know what you told me, but your dad loves you. Don't you ever doubt that."

"Maybe you're right."

"No maybes about it. If there's one thing I recognize, it's a father who loves his child."

Lee knew that was true.

"Blaire wants me to quit Flight School and do something else. She told me when she was here last night. She told me again when she stopped by this morning on her way to work."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't want to."

"Then don't. She'll either get used to it or she won't."

"When you were with Kara's mother, how did she feel about you flying?"

John shrugged. "It wasn't something we ever discussed. Just like I never asked her to quit being a Marine. I knew what she did was dangerous at times, like when she was posted to Tauron and got wounded, but some things are just who you are. Whoever you're with should understand that. Kara's mom was a Marine. I'm a pilot. I think you are, too."

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to talk to Blaire? Try to explain it to her?"

"No, that's up to me. You're right. She'll either accept it or she won't."

...

Even after missing a week of Flight School, Lee still had a nearly perfect check ride with his instructor in the two-seater Viper. Two days later he soloed. If there had ever been any doubt in his mind about continuing, that put it to rest. He was going to be a Viper pilot. He studied late into the night and made up all the work he had missed.

One of his classmates jokingly asked him if he wasn't too hung up on always being top man in the class. Lee shrugged and told him that any of the top three slots was okay with him. The same classmate unwittingly gave him his call sign. He started calling him Apollo, the sun god for his favored status. Apollo, son of Zeus because his father was a commander. At first Lee hated it because he knew they were making fun of him, but every time he heard it, it seemed to grow on him. Apollo. When it came time to pick his call sign, nothing else seemed right, and yet he hesitated.

He talked it over with John one night at McGee's. At least John didn't make fun of him.

"Hearing you talk makes me wish I was still flying a Viper," John said. "I was Starbuck. Starbuck and Apollo. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"I like Apollo and Starbuck better."

"Of course you would. I thought one day…that night leaving Picon…Kara told me that she had always wanted to be a Viper pilot like me. It got to me so much it made me cry. I was hoping to pass my call sign down to her. I was hoping to…you see…but I guess now…" his voice trailed off.

"You still will, John. One day I'll fly with Starbuck, only it will be Kara, not you."

"That would be nice. I hope it happens."

Lee recognized the depth of emotion that he never heard unless John was talking about Kara, the faraway look he got when he tried to talk about her. Lee knew he'd better change the subject or John would order another drink…and then another.

"This Apollo thing," Lee said. "I knew when the guys started calling me that they were making fun of me."

"They're just jealous," John said. "If you like Apollo as a call sign, then take it. Don't let them get to you. You've got to be who you are, Lee. Top of the class and Top Gun is who you are."

"You don't think I'm too obsessed with it, do you?"

"There are times when I think you should lighten up a little bit. Being second or even tenth is not the end of the world. But that's me looking at it from the way I was. Don't get me wrong. I took flying a Viper very seriously, but I still had a hell of a lot of fun."

"I'm not sure I ever learned how to have fun," Lee said. "Growing up…there was always something that needed to be taken care of…stuff my mother couldn't handle. And my dad was gone most of the time. We don't need to go there again. We've talked about that enough before."

"Follow your brother's example, then. Zak knows how to have fun."

"Too much fun if you ask me."

"Now see, there you go." John said. "Who's to say how much fun is too much fun?"

"I guess you're right."

After that Lee couldn't stop wondering when being the best had become so important to him. Why did it matter so much to him? Just what was he trying to prove and who was he trying to prove it to? John had expressed it nicely by saying he should lighten up a little bit. Zak expressed it differently. He told Lee that he was a nut-job about the grades and his class standing. Of course that was right after Lee got all over Zak about his barely passing end of term scores.

"You take the grades," Zak said, "I'll take the girls. Guess who's going to be happier?"

"I'm happy with Blaire," Lee snapped. "I never had any interest in frakking half the girls at King's Bay High School. You should be studying, getting your grades up so you can go to the Academy."

"You're nineteen going on ninety," Zak shot back. "Why do you and Dad think I want to go to the Academy? I've got another whole year of high school and the two of you have already got my whole frakking life planned."

"Look, Zak, Dad is the one who thought the military would be good for you, but I agree with him. You can't be stud-boy and play around at sports and goofing off for the rest of your life. You need to do something constructive."

"And the two of you are the best judge of what that is? I don't frakking think so. Coming along behind you in high school is bad enough, and you only finished third in your class. How do you think I'd feel at the Academy where you finished first? How many times do you think one of your teachers has looked at me and said 'So you're Lee's brother,' like it was an honor just to be related to you? How do you think that makes me feel, huh, always being compared to the best and always coming up short?"

"Zak, you shouldn't…"

"Just forget it, man. At least that's one thing I don't have to worry about with the girls. Nobody's comparing me to Mr. Top-of-His-Class in bed. In fact, you couldn't frak your way out of a paper bag in high school." Zak started laughing. "My brother, king of the high school virgins. Took the purity pledge along with all the little giggling freshman girls."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Lee said angrily.

"Sure I don't. If you and your best buddy John are such hot studs, why were your girlfriends hanging all over me at your graduation party? Huh? Tell me that."

"Blaire wasn't…"

"I'll tell you why. It's because they realized what they were missing. They both wanted it. Blaire was so hot for it I could have taken her upstairs and…"

Lee hit his brother, the first time in his life that he had ever hit Zak. And then it was on. Before it was over, before their mother heard them, came upstairs and went into hysterics, Lee had a bloody nose and a cut lip. Zak had a swollen eye, cut lip and a chipped tooth. Zak tore downstairs, jumped in the car, peeled out of the driveway and down the street. Lee was in the kitchen getting some ice for his lip and holding a towel to his nose to stop the bleeding when his father got home.

"What's going on, Lee?"

"It's nothing, Dad. It's between me and Zak."

"That's not good enough, son."

"It'll have to be. I'm not going to talk about it."

"You and Zak have never fought before. I want to know what's going on."

"You can give orders all you want. I'm not going to discuss it with you. You were never here when we were growing up and Zak and I managed just fine so stay out of it. It's always been just me and Zak. This is something we're going to have to work out for ourselves."

"Not with your fists, you're not. Not in my house. Not and put your mother in this kind of state."

"Maybe we'll go for dueling pistols at dawn, then."

Lee slammed out of the kitchen and up to his room. Behind him he could hear his parents talking. He could hear his mother's anguished voice and his father's questions. Let them talk all they wanted. He and Zak would have to work it out, just the two of them, just like they had always done.

Late that night Lee was lying on his bed in the dark. There was a soft tap at the door. He didn't answer. He didn't want to talk to anybody at the moment.

The door opened a few inches and a sliver of light from the hall fell across the foot of the bed.

"You awake, big bro?" Zak asked.

"Go away. I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now."

"I didn't mean it about Blaire. She's nice and sweet and I would never make a move on her. She's crazy about you." Zak waited.

Lee finally said, "I'm sorry I hit you."

"I deserved it. I'm sorry I hit you, too. Just please tell Dad to lay off me about the Academy. I don't want to be a pilot."

"You don't have to be a pilot. There're other careers in the military."

"I'd just flunk out of the Academy. We both know it."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe play pro soccer. I'll meet lots more girls."

"Go to bed, Zak," Lee said tiredly.

The door clicked and the room was dark once more.

Was Zak right? Were his classmates right? Was he obsessed with being perfect? Were his ideals and standards too high? Was he just setting himself up to be disappointed? What right did he have to tell Zak what to do? To tell his father what to do? To tell John what to do? He'd come down on John that night at McGee's for something his brother would probably have high-fived him for. What right did he have to judge anybody? When had life become so serious for him? Where had all the fun gone? Had he ever known what it was like to have fun? To live the carefree way Zak lived? Had Zak been telling the truth the first time about Blaire? Was that what was bothering him more than anything else, the thought that he might not be good enough to keep Blaire's interest? That some good-looking, sweet-talking kid like Zak would one day take her away from him, that some guy who knew how to have fun would take her to bed and make her forget all about him?

For the first time in a long time, Lee felt the negative beast creep in and take a bite of his soul.

The next day he went back to class, then out to the airfield and got in a Viper. As the ground began to recede behind him, he felt his doubts and fears and questions begin to dissolve. High above the planet when he was in a Viper, everything negative went away. He felt the girl with him again. He breathed her in. He would always be good enough for her, for the green-eyed girl with the Siren's kiss of love.

Seven weeks later he graduated from Flight School at the top of his class and took the Top Gun trophy. Standing in front of the class holding his prize, he saw the pride in his father's eyes. Everything he had gone through suddenly became worth it.

Whereas his graduation from the Academy had not been that emotional for him, the ceremony where his father pinned on his wings was. Bill felt it, too. In fact, he was the one who got tears in his eyes before Lee did.

His father embraced him. "I'm very proud of you, son."

Lee was too choked up to speak.

The legacy was passed from a father to his son.

Lee glanced down at his chest, at the wings over his heart.

He was a Viper pilot just like his father.

...

Because he was at the top of his class, he got his choice of the three battlestars that were continuing the training of Viper pilots, the Triton, the Columbia and the Galactica. He would spend a year on the battlestar so the decision was a difficult one. Part of him wanted to go to the Galactica, his father's old ship, but part of him didn't want to have to contend with his father's legacy, to wonder if he was getting preferential treatment because of who his father was. There was the flip side of that, too, being resented for who his father was.

He finally let chance make the decision for him. He and several of his flight school classmates went to McGee's one night. All of them had too much to drink. They pinned the names of the three battlestars on the dartboard, took turns being blindfolded, and threw a dart. Lee got the first throw. There was much cheering from the onlookers as he twice missed the board entirely. On his third throw he hit the Triton. He found it was a decision he could live with.

On his last Saturday night before he left for the battlestar, he took Blaire to Bonnie Patrice. It had been almost a year since he had first seen her there. What he had neglected to do was make reservations, and when they got there, he found that the wait would be over an hour, closer to an hour and a half.

He was driving and didn't want to sit in the bar for that long.

He and Blaire were trying to decide what to do when Laura Roslin and the nice-looking young man Lee had seen with her at his Academy graduation came in. She saw them and stopped.

"Lee, how nice to see you again and… let me see… Blaire…is that right?"

"Yes, ma'am," Blaire murmured. "You have a really good memory."

"I have to work at it," Laura smiled. She then introduced them to her aide, Billy Keikeya. "Today is Billy's twenty-second birthday. I asked him where he wanted to go to celebrate and of course he picked the most popular restaurant in Caprica City. I think he wants to be seen," she added in an exaggerated whisper.

Billy blushed at the attention she had just called to him.

Lee could tell, however, from Laura's gentle, teasing tone that she felt nothing but affection for her assistant.

"Happy birthday," Blaire said to Billy.

"Thank you."

"We're trying to decide whether or not to wait an hour for a table," Lee told them. "Naturally I forgot to make reservations."

Blaire said. "He's trying to blame it on the accident he had in the deep space simulator. Funny, he seems to remember other things just fine, like when his transport leaves on Monday for the Triton."

"Why don't you join us?" Billy asked. "We've got reservations."

"Of course you'll join us," Laura said. "I owe Billy much more than a birthday dinner for all the long hours he puts in. I know the company of two young people will be nice. I know he gets tired of spending his life in my office."

"No, I don't," Billy said.

She went up to the restaurant's hostess, gave her name, and a minute later the maître d seated them. Lee realized that they had attracted some attention as they walked through the restaurant to one of the best tables in the smaller, more private dining room. He wasn't sure if it was because Laura was that well known or because people were looking at two beautiful women. It didn't occur to him until later that dressed in suits and ties, he and Billy might have gotten some of those looks, too.

"How is your father?" Laura asked after they were seated. "He told me there had been an accident with your survival training. I could tell it upset him a great deal."

"Dad is fine. I think he must have made a few phone calls. I heard the whole deep space simulator exercise is being reviewed. I know accidents happen. I think what upset him was how long it took for anyone to notice I was in trouble. That, and the ancient space suits and other equipment we're working with."

He got one of those looks from Blaire. She really wanted him to change the subject.

He obliged and said to Laura, "Enough about me. Tell us about what's going on in the refugee camps. How is the permanent housing coming?"

"We'll have the first complex finished in Caprica City sometime early next year. Right now we've got classes started for the youngest children in the camps. We're trying to teach them the basics so they won't get so far behind. I met an amazing young woman when I was at the big camp near Antioch. She introduced me to a teacher who has done a wonderful job at organizing everything."

"I understand that getting the funding has been difficult," Lee said.

"Getting funding from the Cylons for the refugees is always difficult, but Billy put together a masterful proposal for me last spring. We got it past the Cylon advisors without them even realizing that it was for the camps."

Billy blushed again. "You rewrote it."

"I polished it a little. You did all the work. You get the credit."

"It must be exciting to work that close to the heart of the government," Blaire said to him.

"I've never thought too much about it." Billy answered her. "I'm doing what I want to do. That's what's important to me."

"It's a good thing, too," Laura said. "As I mentioned, Billy puts in too many long days and even weekends for me to doubt that."

"A lot less than you do," Billy retorted.

"I'd be thrilled to do something like that," Blaire said. "I sit in a communication room at Fleet Headquarters all day and route messages. The only excitement we have is when that blond Cylon woman comes in and runs audit reports. We all wonder what she's looking for. The rest of the time it's totally boring."

"You could go back to a battlestar," Lee said, "like the Triton."

Blaire looked at Laura. "He says that like I can go to my CO and tell him to post me back to a battlestar. It's a lot harder getting back on one than getting off one. Unless you're a pilot of course. Lee's going to the Triton on Monday. For a whole year."

"I remember when Lee's father went to a battlestar. It was during the First Cylon War. You can be thankful that Lee won't be going into combat right away like Bill did."

Billy and Blaire both looked at her. "You knew Commander Adama during the First War?" Billy asked. "I thought you met him during the negotiations."

Lee noticed the pink in Laura's cheeks. She covered it well, though. "I've known Bill for years. My father and his father were friends."

"What did your father do?" Blaire asked.

"He was a Colonial Ambassador."

"Wow," Blaire said. "What a glamorous job."

"The thing is I never saw his job as glamorous…or dangerous. I guess we never see our parents as special in that regard. He was just my father, a bit stubborn and overbearing at times, perhaps, but still just my father. He always thought he knew what was best for me."

"I can relate to that," Lee said.

Laura laughed. "I'm rather more acquainted with your father's stubborn side."

Later, when first Blaire and then Billy excused themselves, Laura asked him. "How is your handsome friend John Gallagher?"

"He's doing okay."

"Do you see him often?"

"We have a beer together occasionally."

"Does he have any family here on Caprica?"

He started to tell her about John's daughter and then realized that was not his story to tell. He simply answered, "No."

"He's single then?"

Lee finally understood what she was asking. He wanted to tell her the truth without telling her too much. He hesitated. He still thought Laura and John would make a nice couple.

Laura said quickly, "I've made you uncomfortable with that question, haven't I? He's not married but he's in a committed relationship."

"I'm not sure I'd call it committed, but he is in a relationship."

"I see. Naturally someone as good-looking as he is would be. Thank you."

He wished John weren't living with Lissa. Otherwise he would tell Laura that she should call John, that she might be very pleasantly surprised.

Laura insisted on paying for his and Blaire's dinner as well, a graduation present she said. He added something else to the list of things he liked about her, her generosity.

That night at Blaire's apartment, the crack that had appeared in their relationship following his accident widened. She started crying as soon as they were through her bedroom door and Lee couldn't seem to comfort her. They didn't even make love. He just held her until she cried herself out. After the argument they had next, he wasn't in the mood.

"I'm not going to be gone forever, Blaire. It's just a year and I'll get a leave in a couple of months."

"Why can't you get a job that will keep you here all the time? Why can't you go to law school like you told me you'd thought about? Why can't you be a lawyer like your grandfather was? Why can't you go to work for a politician like Billy does?"

"Because that's not what I want to do. I've got to complete the training to be a Viper pilot. We all put in a year on a battlestar. It's important to learn all the skills."

"Why do you want to be a Viper pilot anyway? Just because your father was one, is that why? Or because John was one? There's nobody to fight now anyway. "

"My father has nothing to do with this and neither does John. This is my career, my life! It's what I want to do. I made that decision during those three days we were fighting the Cylons. And just because we're not fighting them now doesn't mean we never will again. Blaire, you don't know what I feel like when I'm in the cockpit of a Viper. I can't even begin to describe it."

"So you'll have a great time while I sit back here on Caprica bored out of my mind in a dull job that a trained monkey could do."

Lee was shocked. He'd never heard her talk about her job like that before tonight. "What's going on, Blaire?"

"I'm just…I don't know. I'm afraid you'll get up there on the battlestar and start sleeping with somebody else like the other Viper pilot I dated and…"

"Whoa, wait a minute. Blaire, I'm not like him. You know that."

"You say that, but you're a pilot now."

"Getting my wings didn't suddenly change who I am. If I were the kind of guy who was going to sleep around on you, I'd have done it before now. I wouldn't wait to get on a battlestar to do it."

"So you say."

"Then I'm sure you'll be able to find somebody on the Triton to watch me and report back to you. I'm sure you've got a whole network of comm officers you can rely on."

"Is that what you think I'll do?"

"Isn't that what you did with your other…pilot friend?"

She started crying again and they were back to square one. Lee was so exhausted and emotionally wrung out when he left her apartment before dawn the next morning that he felt like he was driving home drunk.

What had happened to them? He was too tired at the moment to try to analyze it.

...

The next Saturday night he went to the Comm Center on the Triton and placed a ship-to-shore call to her. Ship-to-shore didn't work with mobile phones so he had to call the land-line at her apartment. Her roommate Dee answered almost immediately.

The connection wasn't good, and Dee kept chatting with him. At first he was annoyed at how long it was taking Blaire to come to the phone. He finally had to ask Dee to get her. That's when Dee admitted that Blaire wasn't at the apartment. He didn't put Dee on the spot by asking her where Blaire was. At that point it didn't matter. She wasn't there.

He and Blaire were either going to make it as a couple or they weren't.

He had either made the right decision in becoming a pilot or he hadn't.

The next day he sat in a Viper cockpit in a launch tube for the first time. When the G-force of the catapult pinned him against the seat before it flung him into space, he knew he would never doubt his decision again.

He banked his Viper away from the Triton in a tight turn and began the first of the training maneuvers.

The girl in his vision was with him again and he felt her approval. He looked at the stars.

This is what he had been born to do.

This is who he was.