Authoress' Note: Since interest was generated I feel it is my duty to take a stab at writing this fic. I have not had any experience writing any more than oneshots when it comes to ST fics, so this will either be an epic win or an epic fail. You have been warned. *crosses fingers*
Prologue
Spock feels, as he walks briskly down the corridor and away from the adoring crowd surrounding the newly appointed Captain James T. Kirk, that something is not right. The icy hand of uncertainty and death that had gripped the hearts of every cadet and officer during the Narada's attack, even his, seems to have replaced the logic of Starfleet entirely with a sense of urgency. Never before has a cadet been promoted to captain so quickly.
That is not to say that Spock does not feel some sort of pride at serving under Jim Kirk, nor does he envy the position he has been given. He merely believes that things shouldn't have "jumped the gun" in this way, as his mother would have said. Too many people have sacrificed their lives for the continuance of a way of life that could be thrown away in an instant on account of rash decisions.
Spock refuses to let this happen. He will not lecture his captain, nor will he challenge him outright. No, he will allow him to hone his skills and perfect that which the young Vulcan knows him to be capable of: certainty and calm resolution in the face of the unpredictable and the unrelenting so as to save and better as many lives as possible.
He rounds the corner only to find himself face-to-face with Uhura. She gasps and steps back, taken completely unawares by his sudden appearance.
"Spock," she says, her hand over her heart, "I was just coming to see you."
Her voice is breathy and not for the first time Spock finds himself swimming in those impossibly deep brown eyes. He shakes his head, raising an eyebrow.
"I am on my way to the Vulcan Council to discuss the matter of continuing my post with Starfleet."
She nods and looks down for a moment before meeting my gaze. "So, it's true then?" she asks, "They're asking you to go to colony with them."
"Asking but not forcing me, Lieutenant," he says quietly, "That makes all the difference."
She smiles and Spock allows her to embrace him for a few seconds. As her heart beats against his he vows to teach her the traditional Vulcan display of affection, as soon as he can, as his father taught his mother when he was an ambassador on Earth. The two separate, and she squeezes his hand in hers.
"Good luck."
Spock nods and continues down the corridor without a backward glance, leaving Uhura leaning against the wall, wringing her hands in a despair that he does not even recognise.
Upon entering the Vulcan Embassy, Spock finds that the High Council is already in session. He enters the room with as little disturbance as possible though T'Pau, who has been leading the discussion thus far, ceases speaking as soon as he arrives.
"Spock, we have been waiting," she says, her voice booming for a woman of such small stature.
He bows his head. "I would not detain us further with excuses, T'Pau."
The elder Vulcan nods approvingly, and continues speaking, this time addressing the young Vulcan before her.
"The Council, with the help of Starfleet emissaries, has decided upon a planet for the new Vulcan colony. As such, all off-world Vulcan's have been asked to join those surviving colonists in rebuilding our home and our culture there. Our numbers are small. Therefore, we have issued a state of emergency. Repopulation procedures will commence as soon as rebuilding is complete."
T'Pau lifts an eyebrow delicately as if to say that it is the appropriate time for the young Vulcan to ask questions. Spock clears his throat once.
"How long is rebuilding expected to take?" he asks, knowing this to be the deciding factor in how long he should remain in Starfleet, if he should remain at all.
"Approximately three to five Earth years without factors such as weather, availability of materials, and the number of workers considered. Our surviving architects are hard at work already."
Spock nods, training his face not to betray his pleasure at the fact that he will be able to remain with Starfleet longer than he had expected, or more importantly, that he will be able to remain with Uhura . . .
"There is a matter of greater importance we wished to discuss with you, Spock," T'Pau continues. The other Council members stare down at him with what could pass for uneasiness upon their faces. Even his father, who had undergone the kolinahr in his youth, betrays a grim hint of disquiet as well.
"The issue of repopulation is our foremost concern. With the absence of a generation of children our entire culture and all of Surak's teachings may be lost. Such is our haste that any child, even one that is three fourths Vulcan, would be a valuable asset to our society."
Spock jerks his head up, meeting T'Pau's unblinking gaze. Perhaps she is waiting for him to speak. He has never been sure with her. For a moment Spock is utterly conflicted. They may still grant him permission to remain with Starfleet, but what the future holds is another story altogether. His mind locks onto the feeling of Uhura's hand slipping from his grasp back in the corridor. That is how it feels to him now. He is losing her just as he lost his mother, in an instant.
"You said that the rebuilding of the colony will take three to five years, therefore, is it not safe for me to assume that I may continue with my present post at Starfleet until I am needed?"
T'Pau looks away from him and meets the eyes of Sarek, his father, whose hands are clasped in front of him. Spock turns his eyes to him as he begins to speak in an even tone.
"If Starfleet is the present course that you wish to pursue, then we would have no hand in forcing you to do otherwise. We only ask that when the time comes, you will heed the call of your father's land and take up the responsibility of your people."
Spock bows his head, trying to hide the internal conflict that could surely be seen in his eyes. Starfleet, his main concern before, no longer seems important in the face of these new decisions. He must choose between the world he has always known, the world his mother sacrificed her entire life for, and the woman he knows that he loves.
For the first time in his life, Spock does not know what to do. Logic has failed him, and all that he has left is the raw emotions of grief and longing and despair buried deep within him wanting desperately to burst free. He takes a deep breath then, steeling himself as his two halves war inside his heart and mind. He can feel their eyes on him, waiting. He looks up at his father.
"I will do what I must."
There will be no turning back now. Spock leaves the Vulcan Council hall heavier of heart than when he went in. He is about to hurt someone more than he has ever hurt anyone in his life, and the very idea of it rips his heart in two.
Authoress' Note: So that's that. If you're an Uhura/Spock shipper I suggest you get out now. Otherwise, please review if you've got a moment to spare! I eat reviews for breakfast along with my angst-ridden cereal.