Authoress' Note: This is mostly a filler chapter, but I felt like it would best reflect how our two main characters are feeling at this point. Not so angsty this time, but still not very happy either. Please review after you're done reading! I need some feedback on my characterisation of Kirk. I've always had trouble with him.

The Aftermath

The voyage to Vulcan is going to be one of the longest Spock has experienced in his life he concludes as, for the 12th time, he steps out of the turbolift after having had to endure another prying conversation with a fellow crewmember as to the state of his relationship with Uhura. He finds that the use of meditation is slowly losing its touch, and if he has to answer another question with a raised eyebrow and his usual "That information is between myself and the Lieutenant" he shall surely strangle someone.

Everyone knows what's happened though. The average crewmember on the Enterprise is not in any way daft. Most have figured out by the way Spock and Uhura skirt around each other without even a glance that something has happened, but what it is, they have yet to guess. Spock remains tight lipped, and if he were to name the emotion he feels boiling deep inside him he would have to say it is utter embarrassment at having the relationship with the woman he loves thrust out in the open for everyone to see.

Uhura seems to have it much worse. People do not seem to be so afraid to confront her as they are of confronting Spock. More than once he sees her in tears after exiting the rec room or the turbolift. Discreetly he follows her down the corridor until he can hear the whooshing of her cabin door as it closes. He stands outside of the door wondering if it would be appropriate to knock and offer forth some kind of comfort. The action feels hypocritical however, and he continues toward the bridge as usual, the heaviness continuing to grow in his heart.

Jim comes to see him one night when there is finally enough peace around him and in his mind for him to meditate. James T. Kirk is a man on a mission, even when he's off the bridge. Right now his friend is cooped up in his cabin meditating, and this does not sit well with him at all, especially when there's a woman he holds very dear, no matter the fact that she doesn't reciprocate, crying her eyes out in her cabin down the hall.

Kirk steps into Spock's cabin without a second thought about tact or privacy and clears his throat. Startled from his meditative trance, Spock looks up with a look that could pass for surprise on his face. He stands up quickly, pulling down the hem of his standard issue nightwear. Jim grins apologetically, and motions for Spock to sit down again.

"You must forgive me for intruding," he says, "but something is up around here, and I would like to know what the hell it is."

Spock shakes his head in a most human-like gesture, "I do not understand your meaning, Captain."

"It's Jim, Spock, Jim," sighs the young Captain, "How many times do I have to remind you of that?"

"Forgive me, but I do not believe you came to lecture me about the proper way in which I may address you . . . Jim."

Kirk consciously stops himself from giving an exasperated sigh. "No, you're right. I want to know what's going on with you and Uhura. I'm the Captain and considering one of my best communications officers has been crying all day I figured it had something to do with you. What did you say?"

There is a slight growl at the edge of his voice that could border on being protective. Spock looks down at his clasped hands, unsure of what to say. Should he refuse his superior officer the information he seeks only on the basis that it is of a personal nature? He closes his eyes. Jim Kirk has not come to his cabin tonight as the captain, but rather as a concerned friend, and that is an entirely different matter.

"I ended my relationship with Ny- Uhura," Spock states calmly and evenly.

"You what?"

"I ended my relationship with the Lieutenant on the grounds of future issues that may arise concerning the repopulation of my planet."

Jim Kirk doesn't quite know what to say now. He thought the problem was something petty, like Spock had refused to make their relationship public (Hell, it already was!) or he had been hesitant for Uhura to meet his father. Anything but completely dumping her.

"You said you had to?" Jim asks, making sure he has heard right. He knows that his Science Officer would not do anything, especially something that would inflict so much pain, so lightly.

"Unfortunately, yes."

The young Vulcan does not go into details, and Kirk doesn't ask him to. That's something he's come to understand with Spock. There's no point pushing the rock when you know it won't budge.

"But, you're still staying with us, right?"

"Yes, Jim, for the time being."

Kirk nods, and pats his friend awkwardly on the shoulder. Spock takes the light blow without a word as he stares off into the space in front of him. Jim tries to lighten the mood a little.

"Don't worry about it, Spock," he says, as he makes his way toward the door, "I've left many a woman, and they all come around in the end. There's always someone better waiting for them anyway."

His words, meant as humorous, come out slightly cold, though Spock understands his meaning and is grateful for it.

"I certainly hope you are right, Captain."

He doesn't know how he expects to survive for long on this ship with Uhura only a few feet away from him on a daily basis. The temptation to fall back into old habits will always be there pressing down like a weight upon the both of them.

He doesn't want to lead her on, not after he has caused her so much heartache. For a few moments as he sits alone in his cabin he wishes that he could be human enough to understand the pain she is going through. He wants to feel the piercing rejection and the drowning grief that come along with the end of a relationship. But, most importantly, he does not want Nyota to feel so alone in her struggle.