Chapter 26
The Prince and the Virgin
After revealing that the polar regions of Tauron were untouched by the bombing that had devastated the rest of the planet, Cavil approved a mission of Colonials and Cylons to reopen the tylium mines since Caprica's own tylium resources were limited. Specially modified centurions were programmed to do the heavy work, but humans were needed to run the equipment and keep it maintained. President Adar refused to force anyone to undertake the dangerous assignment, but Tom Zarek volunteered to get enough men from the prison population if they were all granted pardons. Against all advice, Cavil accepted his offer.
-Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War
.
Jack Fisk's secretary showed Lee Adama to the door of his office.
"Lieutenant Lee Adama to see you, Mr. Fisk," she said.
Fisk stood up and reached over his desk. He shook Lee's hand.
"Have a seat, lieutenant. I hope you're here to apologize for what one of your men did to Carrie yesterday."
"Yes, sir. I very much regret what one of my colleagues did. His actions were inexcusable."
"Damn right they were."
"Is Miss Warner here today?"
"Black eye and all. I can't keep her off that bike. She's my best and most reliable rider."
"Might I ask why she has a gun permit for her job? Doesn't she deliver medicine on a motorcycle?"
"She does, but she also rides shotgun on one of my trucks during morning deliveries to the clinics. On pickups in the afternoon, too. They go into some very rough neighborhoods. After a couple of attempted robberies I had to add guards. They carry guns with rubber bullets. Carrie picks up extra in her paycheck for doing that."
"Where did she qualify for the permit?"
"Taggert's Gun Range. It's the only one that can issue permits now."
"How long ago?"
"Maybe a month."
Lee jotted the name on a small notepad.
"You said she's your best rider. Have you ever had any problems with her?"
"Not one. In fact I had to make her take some vacation a couple of weeks ago. She never asks for days off. She's always on time. She loves riding that bike. She rides without a complaint in all kinds of weather. She's never refused to take an extra shift. A guy couldn't ask for a better employee. Is something wrong that you're asking these questions?"
"I'm just following up on what happened yesterday. I've got to make a report to my CO because of her pulling a knife on her interrogator."
"So that's what happened. She wouldn't tell me the whole story. All I can say is that if she did that, he deserved it. I took a look at the cut. Are you the one who bandaged it?"
"Yes, sir."
"You did a good job."
"I was afraid it needed stitches."
"The butterflies closed it fine. The bruise doesn't look very pretty but the cut should heal without much of a scar."
"One last question and then we're done. Have you ever seen anything to make you believe that Miss Warner uses drugs?"
That brought a laugh from Fisk. "She wouldn't be riding a bike for me if I thought she was."
"I wonder if I might speak with her in private before I leave. I need to ask her a few more questions since her interview wasn't finished yesterday."
Fisk picked up the phone. "Denise, where's Carrie? Okay. Bring her back here when she's through and tell her to come to my office." He hung up. "My dispatcher says Carrie's just finishing a run to a clinic down on Sixteenth Street. That's not far. She'll be back here in ten minutes, maybe less."
"I appreciate your cooperation."
Fisk looked at him. "Adama. Any kin to Commander William Adama?"
"My father."
"Son of a gun. I served with your dad years ago on board the Galactica. At the end of the First War I transferred to the Pegasus. He's advising the President now, isn't he?"
"He is. But I think he'd rather be commanding his battlestar."
"I miss the service, too, occasionally. If I'd stayed in I would probably have made colonel by now, but under the circumstances…" he shrugged. "I see you're a Viper pilot like your old man."
Lee smiled. "Trying to be. I got volunteered for the job I'm doing now. It's not my first choice. I was flying once a week until that lab got destroyed. Now all we're doing is this crazy manhunt, interviewing every motorcycle owner and rider in Caprica City."
"My oldest daughter graduates from high school this year. She said something about going to the Academy and training to be a pilot. I hate to admit it, but I've been trying to discourage her."
For the next five or six minutes Lee tried to convince Fisk that he should encourage his daughter. He told her that they needed all the pilots they could train. Fisk felt like all things considered, it was a waste of her potential.
Carrie appeared suddenly in the doorway of Fisk's office. She was wearing the black leather pants and jacket, although the jacket was unzipped. She still had on her gloves. Her hair was in a messy ponytail. She was carrying her helmet. A fresh bandage was over the cut, and the area around her eye was grape-colored just like Fisk had said.
"Hey, Boss, Denise said you wanted to…see me. Oh…hi, Lieutenant Adama. Out here applying for a job?"
Lee stood. "Hello, Miss Warner. How are you?"
"Fine." She looked at Jack. "Is something wrong?"
"No. Lieutenant Adama came by to apologize and to check on you. He wants to talk to you before he leaves."
"Oh. Okay."
"Come in and sit down. I'm going down the hall to get a fresh cup of coffee. Ten minutes, Lieutenant?"
"That should be enough time. Thank you, Mr. Fisk."
Kara was suddenly conscious of her messy hair. "The helmet," she said. She pulled the elastic off her pony tail. "And call me Carrie. Nobody ever calls me Miss Warner…except Sergeant Ackerman. I don't want to be reminded of him"
"I'll call you Carrie if you'll call me Lee," he said. "The swelling has gone down."
"What?"
"Your eye. It doesn't look swollen today."
"I put ice on it last night like you said."
"I just want to tell you again how sorry I am about what Sergeant Ackerman did."
"No hard feelings on my part. It was mostly my fault. I should have kept my mouth shut."
"Could I ask you to tell me exactly what happened yesterday? I looked at the recording of your interview. What happened after your told Ackerman that the military is supposed to serve us?"
"He turned off the machine."
"I gathered that."
"Then he asked me who I thought the military was serving and I told him I thought you were serving the Cylons."
"And then he slammed your head into the table?"
"Not then. It wasn't until I made a comment about his job involving bending over every day for some Cylon and liking it…only I think I said metal motherfrakker."
"Lords of Kobol."
"I shouldn't have said anything. I just resented being called in and questioned when all I'm trying to do is earn a living. I mean just because I ride a motorcycle I'm suddenly being looked at like a criminal. The criminals are the Cylons who are calling the shots on Caprica."
"I can see it from your point of view, Carrie. I don't care for the Cylons, either. Believe it or not, neither does Ackerman. None of us do. We're not doing this because we want to."
"But you're in the military. You're co-operating with them."
"Believe me. The alternative would be a lot worse, and I joined the military to fly a Viper."
"I've always wanted to fly a Viper."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Then you should put in an application to the Academy. I was just telling Mr. Fisk that we need all the pilots we can get."
"That's what one of my roommates told me."
"Girls or guys?"
"One girl, two guys."
"I guess one guy is the spare?" He smiled.
"No. I was joking about that. We were all in the same refugee camp. One of the guys is my best friend since I was eight years old." She realized she was getting near the limit of what she should tell him.
"And the other guy?"
"Sort of a boyfriend. Mostly a roommate."
"What is sort of a boyfriend?"
"He likes me more than I like him."
"Is he the one you were with at Zeno's that night?"
"Yeah."
"But it's not a committed relationship?"
Kara shrugged. "Not for me. What about you?"
"Not even the hint of a girlfriend at the moment. Look, I want to ask you for a date, but until we get this thing cleared up about what Ackerman did, I really can't. But if you just happened to be at Zeno's Saturday night, I don't think I'd get in trouble if I sat down and talked to you."
"Maybe I can manage that. I'm not making any promises."
"I understand. Oh, here," he took the switchblade out of his pocket, "I think this is yours."
"Thanks. I didn't think I'd ever see that again." She leaned over and slid it into her boot. "Never can tell when I might need to threaten some guy's love life with it."
"Is that what you did to Ackerman?"
She grinned and nodded.
"Damn, no wonder he was so crazy mad. I thought you'd just threatened to cut his throat or something."
"Most guys don't value their throats near as much as they value their…manhood."
She realized she was starting to blush. What was wrong with her?
Jack Fisk came to the door. "Finished?"
"I believe we are. Thank you, Carrie, for talking to me."
"Sure, lieutenant…I mean Lee."
"And thank you, Mr. Fisk, for giving me the opportunity."
Kara watched Lee walk out of the office.
Fisk sat down at his desk. "Somebody's got a little crush."
"I think he does, too."
Fisk grinned. "I wasn't talking about him."
"You really think you know me, don't you? He asked me to meet him at Zeno's Saturday night, but I don't know if I should do it or not."
"Do you want to?"
"What do you think?"
"Just be aware that there may be a…conflict of interest with this other thing you're involved in. At some point you might have to make a choice. Just keep that in mind…before you go falling head over heels in love with him."
"That won't happen. And thanks, Jack. I can always count on you to keep me straight. A beer and some conversation, that's all. I don't see anything wrong with that."
"It's not always that easy, Carrie. Something else you should know about him. His father is Commander William Adama. He used to command a battlestar. He's now an advisor to the President. I guess you could say Lieutenant Adama is well connected. You've got more than yourself and him to think about when it comes to Lee Adama."
"Wow."
He really is like Olliver. Like the son of a god.
"I just thought you should know. Now get back on that bike. You've planned enough of your social life on company time." He smiled.
"Sure thing, Boss. Hey, you should know I can't fall in love with a guy. I'm already in love with the bike."
"Get out of here," Fisk laughed.
...
Lee left MediFirst and drove to Taggert's Gun Range outside of Caprica City. The instructor who always conducted the classes on the rubber bullet guns said he didn't remember a Carrie Warner. When Lee pointed out that he had issued a gun permit to her in the last month, he still shook his head.
"I issue a lot of those permits."
"She's young, blond, very attractive."
"There was a young blond in one of my classes about a month ago. She must have qualified or I wouldn't have issued the permit. I don't remember anything specific about her though."
"Thank you," Lee said. "That's all I need to know." His gut told him that the instructor remembered more about Carrie Warner than he said, but Lee didn't push it. He'd gotten the answer he hoped for. The answer he wanted to report to Major Parker.
He was ready now to get back to the base and write his report. Carrie Warner was a good employee. There was nothing in her behavior to indicate that she used drugs. Fisk was sure of it. As Parker had said, the sooner they put this to bed, the better. Maybe it would be settled before the weekend. He knew that he would be at Zeno's on Saturday night whether it was settled or not. Maybe he was going to get a real chance with Carrie Warner, the hot blond in the tight black jeans, the green-eyed girl in his dream.
...
"I can't believe you volunteered to work on a Saturday night," Jared said as Kara started to leave the apartment.
"I'm just covering until midnight. I'll be home before one. Don't wait up for me. What are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing I guess. I had thought we might go out."
"I'll make it up to you. We'll go out tomorrow night. I don't have to work Monday. I've got to get going."
"Be careful."
"I'm always careful."
She took the subway to work and went to her locker. She felt bad about lying to Jared. She should have told him that she was meeting someone, but she was afraid he would freak out or worse yet, follow her. If he found out that Lee Adama was in the military, she didn't know what he would do. Right now this was the only way she knew to handle the situation.
She keyed in the combination and opened her locker. Inside were a new pair of jeans and a dark green sweater still in the bag from Maximillian's. She took the bag into the women's restroom, stripped off the tight black jeans and black turtleneck and put on the new jeans and sweater. She pulled the elastic off her ponytail and brushed her hair. She couldn't believe how nervous she felt. This was her first real date.
Even the walk to the subway and the ride to the station near Zeno's didn't calm her down. It was almost as bad as the night they'd blown up the lab.
Despite the fact that Lee was wearing jeans and a dark blue Academy sweatshirt, she spotted him as soon as she walked through the door. He was sitting near one end of the bar and was watching a pyramid game. She slid onto the seat beside him. She had thought of what she was going to say to him for two days now.
"Hey, flyboy, could I buy you a drink?" Oh, gods, it sounded trite and dumb when she said it out loud to him. She wished she'd said something else…anything else.
The look on his face when he turned to look at her was worth it, though. Shock and surprise…and then genuine pleasure. It was all there in his blue eyes.
"You…really showed up."
"You didn't think I was going to?"
"No. Does your sort-of-a-boyfriend know where you are?"
"He thinks I'm at work. I'm moving out. I'm saving right now to get my own place."
The bartender came over to her. He asked for her ID and she thought of the last time she'd handed it to him. She had been talking to a guy named Zak. She handed it to him face up this time, ordered a beer and told him to bring Lee another one.
"How's your investigation of me going?"
"I got everything settled with my CO yesterday. You came up clean in all the database checks. You've got a clean work record. Major Parker said to close the book on you."
"What did Sergeant Ackerman say?"
"He's been off the last two days. Some much needed vacation. He won't be happy when he gets back on Monday and you're not behind bars, but that's his problem."
"Being off a couple of days isn't going to help him. He needs a few months of intensive therapy. He's really on the edge."
"Ackerman takes his work too seriously. We've all been under the gun about what happened at that lab."
"Bad, huh?" Kara had trouble looking at him.
Lee shrugged. "It's consumed my life for weeks. I haven't been in a Viper since it happened. I really miss flying."
"I know what you mean. I was on vacation for a week and I really missed being on the bike. I like speed. I know I ride too fast."
"You'd like launching off a battlestar in a Viper. Zero to two hundred in three seconds."
Kara glanced at the door. Frogman had just come in with a woman, his wife she assumed.
"Oh, frak."
"What?"
"That guy who just walked in works with my, uh, roommate-boyfriend. I can't let him see me. He'll tell Jared."
That wasn't the only reason she didn't want Frogman to see her. Lee was so clean-cut that she was sure Frogman would recognize him as military even if he didn't notice the Academy sweatshirt.
"What do you want to do?" Lee asked.
"Get out of here."
"We could go to my place. It's two blocks away."
"Sure. Anywhere but here."
As they slid off the barstools, Lee put his arm around her and pulled her close to keep himself between the man and woman she had just indicated. When they got to the door, he dropped his arm and opened it for her.
"I hope you didn't mind."
His arm around her had felt good. It had felt right. Kara took a deep breath. "No, that's fine. Thanks."
They walked the two blocks to his apartment and rode the elevator up to the eighth floor.
"Nice," she said when they were inside. She noted the neutral colors and clean lines of the furniture. "Very simple and…very masculine. It's a guy's place."
"It's not much."
"Yes it is. Our place is mostly furnished with junk. We got some of it off the street. It was free so I shouldn't complain. Your stuff is all nice and new."
"Uh, you want something to drink? I think I've got a couple of beers."
"Do you have any ambrosia?"
"If my brother didn't finish it. He stayed with me for a few days last week. He got kicked out of school for cheating on a test."
"Is your brother named Zak?"
Lee was stunned. "How could you possibly know that? Have you been checking up on me?"
"I was sitting at the bar in Zeno's talking to him when you called. He was very down on himself about getting kicked out of the Academy."
"So you were the beautiful blond?"
Kara shrugged. "His words, not mine."
"I wanted to kick his butt for being so stupid," Lee said. "Getting caught cheating on a test. There's just never any excuse for something like that."
"Cheating or getting caught?"
"Cheating. He was flunking Colonial History. That was his excuse."
"What did your father do?"
"What could he do? Cheating is an offense that even someone in my father's position can't fix…not that he would have done anything like that...even though he did pull some strings to get Zak into the Academy."
"Why? Zak told me he didn't want to go there in the first place."
"You'd have to know my dad. He thought the military would straighten Zak out and give him a sense of purpose."
"Did he throw Zak out of the house?"
"No, of course not. He was just disappointed. He blames himself for not being around much when Zak and I were young. Mom cried a lot and blamed herself for talking him into going to the Academy. She was around when Zak and I were growing up, but she…she had her share of problems. My family is definitely on the dysfunctional side."
"At least you've got a family."
"I sound like I'm not grateful for that, but I am."
"What's Zak going to do now?"
"He's talked about joining the Marines or trying out for a professional soccer team. Right now he's working part-time at Bull's Eye selling sporting goods and athletic equipment. I really don't think he knows what he wants to do."
"Zak told me that he loves you."
Lee was surprised. "He didn't sound that drunk."
"He wasn't. He said he was sorry for saying something about your girlfriend. He told me about the fight, too."
"It sounds like he told you our whole family history."
Kara shrugged. "He was trying to pick me up."
"I don't doubt that. Zak's very successful with girls."
Kara grinned. "Like his big brother?"
"I can't hold a candle to Zak in that regard. He wrote the book. Come on. Let me check on that ambrosia." They went into the kitchen and Lee got the bottle from the cabinet over the refrigerator. "He left me just enough for two glasses."
"I guess he didn't want you getting any girls drunk and taking advantage of them."
Lee smiled. "That's not my style."
"What is your style?"
He shrugged. "I'm not really sure. It's been a long time since I've even been on a date. Zak and I are polar opposites in that regard. He probably hasn't gone two days without getting laid…sorry, without a date since he was sixteen. If he'd put as much effort into his schoolwork as he did into getting girls, he'd have finished at the top of his class."
"Like you did."
"He told you that, too, I guess."
He poured equal amounts of the ambrosia in each glass then handed one to her.
"To flying a Viper," she said and raised her glass.
"To riding a motorcycle," he said. He touched his glass to hers.
"Fisk told me your father advises the President."
"Since right after the negotiations. I've seen him more in the last three years than I did the whole time I was growing up. Before we lost to the Cylons, he was commanding the Galactica. That's what he'd really like to be doing instead of what he's doing now."
"Is there any chance your father might get to go back to his battlestar?"
"Maybe…if we ever fight the Cylons again. But before we could do that, we'd need fuel and ammunition, missiles, bullets, all the stuff the Cylons took away and have locked in our armories under heavy centurion guard. Getting to any of it would be impossible without the very stuff we'd be going after."
"There's usually a way if you want something bad enough. Are you following in your father's footsteps, then? Is Lee Adama going to command a battlestar one day? Or advise the President?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead. Right now I just want to fly a Viper. The Cylons are seriously hampering that career, though, ever since those terrorists or the resistance or whatever you want to call them destroyed their lab."
"Those people who destroyed that lab are still fighting the Cylons. The war isn't over for them."
"Whatever they're doing, they sure made my life hell for the last couple of weeks."
"Why do you think they burned that particular lab?" She asked, curious about how much he knew.
Lee turned up his drink. "I can't talk about that. Let's talk about you."
"Me? I'm not that interesting."
"Are you kidding? I don't know a single other girl who rides a motorcycle like she was born on it. I don't know a single other girl who rides a motorcycle period. I really don't know that many girls."
"What about the black chick who was trying to pick you up that night at Zeno's?"
"I used to date her roommate who is the girl Zak and I got into the fight over. I mean not over her, over something he said about her. She dumped me, wrote me a letter while I was on the Triton. That's another battlestar. I spent a year on the Triton, and Blaire, that's her name, just couldn't wait for me. Do you know who Laura Roslin is?"
Kara was suddenly wary. "How would I know her?"
"She's the Secretary of Education."
"I know who she is. She's not a personal friend of mine."
"Blaire is dating her assistant Billy now."
"Is that why you were getting drunk that night?"
"It was a stupid thing to do. So tell me more about Carrie Warner."
She told him the last piece of Carrie Warner's story that she knew.
"There's not much to tell. After my parents died I spent almost three years in the big refugee camp near Antioch. That's where I met my roommate-boyfriend. He has a cousin who's the girl that lives with us. And the other guy is my best friend since I was eight and he was nine. He's like my brother. I mean like my brother was. My brother was named Stephan. He was really good-looking."
"Was the camp bad?"
"It wasn't good. I almost got raped once. The worst time was when the flu went through the camp. My best friend almost died. There was a girl I knew. She died. A lot of other people died, too. The rats got really bad after that. I used to shoot them with a slingshot. Most of the time there was enough food but not always, and it wasn't that great. Sometimes the bread was stale. Sometimes it was moldy. My friend and I used to pick out the mold spots and roll them into little balls. We'd build…we'd build these little pyramids on the table…stupid little pyramids of moldy bread balls. Our clothes were somebody's cast-offs, even the underwear. I was glad when we got to leave and come here."
Lee felt something break inside him when he heard her talk about the camp in a voice devoid of emotion. He couldn't imagine what she'd been through.
"Is that why you hate the Cylons so much?"
"I hate the Cylons because they're responsible for both my parents being dead and my roommates' parents, too. They're all dead because of the Cylons."
"I was on my father's battlestar when they attacked. I thought we were going to die. I thought all of us were going to die. We lost so many pilots during those three days of fighting. So many."
"But you still became a Viper pilot."
"My father was a Viper pilot and my best friend was a Viper pilot."
Kara sipped the ambrosia. "Do you think you'll ever fight the Cylons?"
"I hope so."
"Aren't you afraid of dying?"
"I almost died a couple of years ago. When I was in the deep space simulator, my suit started leaking. I spent twelve hours in a decompression chamber. That's where I first saw you."
"Me? You saw me?"
Lee wasn't sure why he'd told her that because he was sure she would think he was crazy, but he went ahead. "My dad and my best friend told me I was hallucinating, but I saw you. You were so real. I know it was a dream, but it seemed so real to me. When I saw you in the hall this week, I couldn't believe it. You were the girl in my dream come to life."
"I've never been called anybody's dream before."
Lee drank the rest of his ambrosia. He couldn't look at her. "While I was in the decompression chamber, you kissed me."
Kara smiled. "Was it good?"
"The best kiss I ever had."
She drank the rest of her ambrosia. "I've been looking for you for a long time…ever since I was thirteen and I read a book about a prince with blue eyes and wings over his heart." She wasn't sure why, but it seemed like Lee Adama was suddenly blurry. She finally realized that her eyes were filling with tears. "And I was his emerald-eyed princess. That's why I waited for you. I should have known…wings over your heart…I should have known you'd be a pilot. I should have realized you'd be in the military. I sound like I'm crazy, don't I? Maybe all of us who survived the camp are a little crazy. My best friend says we are."
Lee looked at her green eyes filling with tears. A prince? This beautiful girl thought he was a prince? And then her words caught up with him. "What do you mean you waited for me?"
She blinked. The tears spilled over and she hastily brushed them away. "What do you think I mean?"
"Waited…as in…but you said you have a boyfriend, you're living with him."
"I didn't say I was sleeping with him."
"You mean you're a…a…you're telling me you're a…"
"Virgin. So big deal. Why do guys have such a hard time saying that word?"
Lee swallowed. Carrie Warner, the hot blond in the tight black jeans, the hot blond with the confident walk and the frak-you attitude and the smart mouth and the toughness, who rode a motorcycle like she was born on it and who had survived the hell of a refugee camp, the hot blond was a virgin. As hard as he tried, he couldn't reconcile the two images.
Kara managed to smile. "Thanks for the drink. I can see I've really freaked you out. I'll go now." She turned to leave the kitchen.
"No, wait," Lee said. He sat his empty glass on the counter beside hers and took three steps. He grasped her arm. "Don't go. Please, don't leave, please." He pulled her to him and put his arms around her. "This is crazy. I just met you and I feel like I've known you for years. You've been with me every day since I almost died. I've known you were out there somewhere."
Olliver…Lee Adama really was Olliver. He was her destiny. It didn't matter to her right now that he was in the military. All that mattered was that he was Olliver and she was his princess. She was in his arms and tonight this was how it was meant to be. She slipped her arms around his neck and turned her face up to his. They weren't in an exotic garden at twilight, but this was how it was meant to be. She knew the moment his lips met hers that he had always been her destiny.
The kiss was everything she had dreamed it would be, gentle as a whisper, almost hesitant at first, and then as he felt her response it deepened. Lee Adama knew how to kiss. Her body, barely touching his in the beginning, seemed to melt against his without any effort on her part. The kiss deepened again as lips and tongues melded.
She had waited for him for a reason. There was only one way this night was going to end for them.
Lee wanted to pull her clothes off and devour her, right there, right that minute, but he knew he couldn't. He had to do this gently. He had to take his time. Slowly, though, and by degrees, by kisses and then by touches, he realized that Carrie Warner might be a virgin, but she wasn't entirely inexperienced. Her knowledge coupled with her innocence was like an added aphrodisiac to him.
They left a trail of clothes as they progressed from the kitchen to his bedroom until they were finally naked on his bed. She was the beautiful, green-eyed girl in his dream, the girl who had given him the gift of love with her kiss, and he wanted her more than he'd ever wanted anyone in his life. And yet at the moment she was ready for him, when her hands and lips and whispered words were urging him to complete the act they had started, he hesitated.
At first Kara couldn't understand Lee's hesitation and then she understood it completely. In the end she was the one who pushed him onto his back and straddled him like she did the bike. He tried to say her name but she leaned over him and put her mouth on his. It wasn't Carrie Warner's name she wanted on his lips at this moment, but now was the wrong time for the truth. She was awkward, but she managed to accomplish what he had hesitated to do.
The sharp intake of her breath was involuntary. She stopped and held herself still as she grew accustomed to this new feeling, not quite pain this first time, but not quite pleasure either.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lee said. "I don't want to…hurt you. I would…never…hurt you."
"I know you wouldn't." Kara kissed him again. He was Olliver. She knew he would never hurt her. That's why he had hesitated, but when it came to love, someone had to be the first and for her it was Olliver. She was so ready that she didn't have to move much after that and then it was better than anything she had ever felt before in her life.
Lee tried to wait. He really tried, but this beautiful green-eyed girl had wrapped herself around him, had taken him in all her innocence, and he had waited for her for so long that he couldn't wait any longer. He shut his eyes and surrendered to the feeling. The only thing that even remotely compared to it was the way he felt when he launched in his Viper off a battlestar…the hot, sweet rush of adrenalin when the G-force pinned him against the seat and took his breath before the catapult flung him on that wildest of rides into the stars.
Afterward he couldn't hold her close enough. He couldn't stop gently stroking her hair. He must be doing something right to have found the girl in his dream like this, to have her here in his arms, to be the first man she had ever let love her like this.
"I want to take you out on a date, somewhere nice, next weekend, next Saturday night, a real date. I want you to meet my best friend and my family."
Reality crashed into Kara's dream world as he said those words. There was one thing that no amount of dreaming could change. They were on different sides of a war. It would never work. They weren't Olliver and Esmari. As much as she wanted them to be, they weren't. They were Lee and Kara and they were on different sides. The military was helping the Cylons. The resistance was fighting them. She reached deep inside herself, to the toughness she had developed early in life and honed to razor sharpness in the camp. She found the strength that had let her say goodbye to her mother and her father and then to Connelly.
"I can't see you again," she said softly.
"What?"
"I can't see you again. I can't. I'm sorry."
"Why? Your boyfriend? Are you afraid he'll find out? Are you afraid of him? Is that why?"
"I can't see you again because I'm the one you're looking for. It was me on the motorcycle that night. I'm in the resistance."
"I don't believe it. You're making it up. You're just telling me that because you don't want to tell me the real reason."
"I was on the hill above the lab that night. I had a high-powered rifle. I shot two men. One of them was the Cylon doctor. I shot out five security lights to cover my guys' escape. And if that doesn't convince you…" She took his hand and put his fingers over the newly-healed scar on the side of her leg. "…here's where a guard shot me with a twenty-two pistol. You're either going to have to take me in or let me go. If you let me go, we can't see each other again because we're on opposite sides. If you take me in, then we won't see each other again because the Cylons will torture me for what I know, which is nothing, and then they'll execute me. So either way we won't see each other again."
Lee was so stunned that for a long time he couldn't speak.
"What was tonight then?" He finally asked.
"Destiny. Fate. Whatever you want to think it was."
"I don't believe this. I don't frakking believe it."
"Tonight was a dream, Lee. Your dream…my dream. That's all it was…dreams. I thought…I thought…maybe…but then I knew it would never work. Sooner or later I'll get caught…or killed. If we're seeing each other when that happens, your career is over, maybe even your life. You won't be flying a Viper anymore. That's certain. And if the resistance finds out we're seeing each other, they'll either kill me or want to use me to get information from you. I would never be able to do that to you. Can't you understand why this won't work? Just remember tonight as a dream. It'll be easier that way."
"Easier? You think that makes it easier?"
"Are you going to take me in?"
"No."
"Then I've got to go."
"I guess you think what you're doing is right. You'd never consider giving it up."
"I believe in what I'm doing. The war's not over for me. It won't ever be as long as there's a Cylon on Caprica."
"You believe that killing people is right?"
"Killing Cylons is right. Keeping them from making half-Cylon, half-human babies is right. Doing anything I can to stop them is right."
"And walking out of here tonight is brave and noble? There's something between us, something strong. You know it. I think you're taking the easy way out. I think you're a coward."
"A coward? Somebody cut that bullet out of me without any anesthetic."
"There's more than one kind of cowardice."
She didn't say anything.
"What if I'm willing to take the chance?"
"I'm not. There is something strong between us and I could never let you risk your life to be with me. I'm sorry. It was just a dream, Lee."
He didn't say anything else to her as she got up and gathered her clothes. He lay staring at the ceiling in the dim light. He heard the bathroom door close and later open. He heard the door to his apartment open and click shut. And then he heard only silence and the sound of his own heart.
A long time later he got up and went into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. He washed away all traces that he had been with the green-eyed girl in his dream, with the resistance fighter who spoke of killing in the same emotionless voice she spoke of being in the refugee camp, with the hot blond virgin who wasn't a virgin any more, the proof of which he had just washed from his body. But there was one place that the hot water and soap couldn't touch, one place he couldn't wash her out of and that was his heart. Somewhere deep inside he knew things weren't over for them. He had to believe that Fate wouldn't bring her to him like it had and then snatch her away again. She was a terrorist, but she was also the green-eyed girl in his dream. There was a way for them to be together. He wouldn't let himself believe otherwise. He just had to find that way.
...
Kara made it back to MediFirst by concentrating on other things, the number of cracks in the sidewalk, the piece of newspaper that the wind picked up and blew against the curb in front of her, the rumble of traffic on the street beside her and then in the subway tunnel. She took the black jeans and turtleneck from her locker and went into the restroom and changed clothes. She thought she was doing fine until she looked into the mirror to pull her hair back into a ponytail again. She actually thought she was doing fine until she looked into the reflection of her father's eyes.
"You would have liked him, Daddy," she whispered to the mirror. "He's a Viper pilot like you were."
A heartbeat later she fell apart.
She sat on the floor of the restroom, wrapped her arms around her knees and cried. She cried like she had never cried before. She cried the tears she had held inside for so long. She cried for her lost childhood and for the old couple who had killed themselves back at the stone house and for Carrie Warner who had died from the flu. She cried for the dead Viper pilot whose wedding ring she wore on a chain around her neck. She cried for Jared because he loved her and she would never love him like he wanted her to. She cried because her best friend was going to the Academy in the fall and leaving her behind. She cried for her mother's brave and useless death on Picon and for her father's sacrifice that had saved her and for the way Hugh Connelly had broken her childish heart.
But most of all she cried because she loved Lee Adama and she couldn't be with him. She loved a man who should be her enemy but wasn't, who should have arrested her tonight but didn't, who was a gentle and giving lover and who was willing to risk his career, even his life to be with her and whom she had walked out on because she loved him too much to let him take that chance.
She cried until no more tears would come, until she felt dazed and empty and years older, then she got up, washed her face in cold water without looking in the mirror and walked to the subway entrance. She carefully pulled her toughness back around her as she walked through the night and locked her love for her handsome, blue-eyed prince into a safe place in her heart, a place no other man would ever claim. She tried to imagine a time when the war would be over, when there would be no more Cylons on Caprica, a time when she could be with him without fearing their love would cost him his life.
Lee was right. There was more than one kind of cowardice. But there was more than one kind of courage, too.