Authoress' Note: Goodness, don't all of you go getting your knickers in a twist over Spock and Christine! Now you know how I feel about Spock and Uhura! :P But seriously, I'm not going to get them together or anything like that. That'd be weird. I merely meant that it would probably be a one-sided affection from Christine just like in TOS. Please review if you have time! Thanks very much!

Beasts of the Night

Kirk has been looking forward to this mission for the duration of the previous week after he came to terms with the fact that they would not be going into deep space right away. Yet, now that they're off on their first real mission he's not sure if he can take one more thing going wrong.

First it was the food replicators spewing globs of inedible food in every direction when they were used. Then it was the transporter, which Scotty had been hard at work on for the past few days, since they would need it when they arrived at Caldos IV. Now, of all things, it was Kirk's chair. It was stuck, and this fact annoyed Kirk like nothing else had before.

They are due to arrive at the planet Caldos IV just on the edge of the Milky Way galaxy in a few days, and Kirk admits to himself that he is nervous about the encounter. Back at Starfleet, they were told that the native population, Terran colonists who had arrived on the world in the mid 21st century, was experiencing onsets of terrifying hallucinations. Kirk doesn't know what to expect. It sounds like they are all out of their minds to him, and he can't remember anything he has ever read at the Academy that might give him some hint as to what to do with such a group of people.

He decides to voice this concern to Spock one evening on the bridge after the rest of the crew have been given leave for some sleep. There will be only a few minutes for them to talk alone in between the change in shifts. Kirk shifts uncomfortably in his chair and fights down a twinge of annoyance at the fact that he cannot swivel around to look at his first officer. He stands up instead and approaches Spock slowly. The Vulcan has his eyes glued to the view screen, staring out at the emptiness of space ahead of them.

"Spock, can I ask you something?"

Spock glances at Kirk and raises an eyebrow as an invitation to continue. "Of course, Captain."

"You'll probably think I'm stupid for feeling like this, but I'm only human, so I guess it can't be helped, " he shrugs his shoulders even as Spock turns around to face him. "You see, I'm sorta nervous about going to Caldos IV. We don't know what's gonna happen or what condition the people will be in. What if they're crazy?"

Spock inhales deeply but doesn't break his eye contact with the Captain. Kirk assumes that he's thinking and remains silent.

"Jim," Spock begins, and Kirk perks up slightly at the sound of his name, "Although I do not admit to having any feelings of anxiety or apprehension, as it is illogical to become worried over something you have not experienced, I will admit to understanding how you feel. This will be a learning experience for all of us; field experience if you will. What comes will come, and we will just have to be prepared for it when it does."

Kirk doesn't say anything in response. In fact, he doesn't know what to say. Spock, as usual, is right about the situation. He is the captain, and he cannot allow himself to become caught up in emotions that will only bring him down and jeopardise his ability to make decisions. Spock stops briefly by his chair on the way out.

"If you have need of any other advice, I believe you know where you may find me. I will be meditating."

"Yes, thank you Spock."

Spock enters the turbolift and presses the button to go down a few floors. He enters his quarter's moments later and dims the lights automatically. He gazes about the room, taking note of the 3 dimensional chess game still waiting for him on his desk. Bending down, he opens a low cabinet and takes out a lamp. Setting it in the middle of the floor, he turns a knob on its side and watches as a flame flickers to life. He lowers himself to the floor and crosses his legs in the meditation position before closing his eyes.

The candlelight casts red shadows under his eyelids, and the light seems to seep into his very being as he empties his mind. First of the emotion he felt boiling beneath the surface of his skin throughout the day, that of anxiety, grief, and despair. For a moment his mind lingers over the feeling of friendship and camaraderie that has begun to surface whenever Jim Kirk is near. He does not push these particular feelings away, but marginalizes them and stores them away out of sight.

The heat in the room rises to an uncomfortable degree, even to him, and he breathes deeply of the incense being burned in front of him. It smells of a mixture of things, cinnamon and other spices, ones that he would associate with her. He does not allow himself to dwell on her for long, but instead focuses his attention on clearing his mind and attaining that floating feeling that one must achieve during meditation.

For some time he sits this way until he has lost track of how many minutes or hours have passed. His own physical needs seem trivial compared to the tantamount need to remain perfectly still for a moment longer. He does not know when the tingling in his fingers begins or when he begins to slip backward into the waiting arms of sleep.

He is running, harder than he has ever run in his entire life. Each breath he takes rips through his body and threatens to tear his lungs in two. He cannot stop, not when so much is at stake. Behind him comes the ragged breathing of the Vulcan elders, and beside him is his mother matching each step he takes with her own. The trembling ground and roar of splitting rocks echoes in his ears as they round the corner and stumble into the sunlight, one after the other.

Amanda loosens her grip on her son's arm and steps away from him, a look of utter shock and horror upon her face at the sight of such destruction. She stands absolutely still at the precipice as they wait to be beamed up, her heart fluttering much like her veil in the dusty wind.

Spock watches his mother carefully, the terror he had felt moments earlier dissipating as he waits for them to be beamed up to safety. Suddenly, the ground shifts beneath him, and his mother turns her eyes to him. He meets them for a split second, drowning in their vastness for an eternity, before the earth crumbles away taking his mother with it.

A cry rents his throat as he reaches for her as she falls away into the abyss. He follows after her, falling and falling into the maw of the beast . . .

Spock sits up abruptly his breathing shallow and sharp. He swipes a hand across his sweaty brow as his eyes adjust to his surroundings. The lamp continues to burn, although the incense has been used up. He turns the knob with a shaking hand and pushes the lamp back into the cabinet. Shakily, he stands up, his legs feeling heavy and useless beneath him. Slowly, he makes his way to his bed where he lowers himself down. He does not close his eyes however, but stares out into empty space, his mother's face still floating before him always out of reach.