Authoress' Note: One of my favourite chapters EVER!! YAY angsty Leonard! FWEE! Peachly: You shall just have to wait and see. There are many different ways I could go with that particular character now. ;) Don't forget to review! Thanks so much!

Things Left Unsaid

Leonard McCoy waits nervously outside the all too familiar house with the wraparound porch he once shared with his wife wondering how the hell he had let James T. Kirk talk him into coming here. He concludes that he must've been crazy, tired, drunk, or just plain stupid. At this point, he's not sure whether he should ring the old fashioned doorbell again. He hadn't even bothered to tell anyone he was coming, so it is entirely possible that they aren't even at home. Cautiously, he peeks in through the darkened front windows only to find the curtains drawn. Dismayed, he walks back down the steps and toward the hover cab he instructed to wait. The driver shrugs at him from the open window.

"No luck?"

"Obviously," the doctor snaps through gritted teeth.

Just as he opens the door and is about to step inside an icy voice cuts across the lawn and slashes through him like a sword.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

McCoy turns on his heel, closing the cab door quietly, as though he has been caught in the act of doing something he shouldn't have been doing. He hates that feeling; the feeling she always gives him that he was the one who committed the wrong and not her. After all, he was the one who introduced her to that filthy, backstabbing . . . The doctor shakes his head, trying to clear his mind of murderous thoughts. It's hard enough for him to think with her around as it is.

She looks the same as she did only a few years ago, beautiful and cold, her face forever a mask of defiance and indifference. Of course, she hadn't always been like that. There was another side to her that he had once known reduced now to only a distorted and fleeting image from that time. In her hand is a glass of what appears to be a mint julep. McCoy curses to himself. He had been hoping that she wouldn't have anything with her to throw, considering that type of thing usually occurred when they found themselves in the same room.

"Nice to see you too, Olivia," he says sarcastically, making his way back toward the house. Behind him, the hover cabdriver takes the cue that it's time to get away and speeds off into the distance.

"Don't give me that," she hisses, setting the mint julep down and crossing her arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Joanna. I am her father after all. I think I have the right to see her after such a long time."

"You think she'll even remember you?" Olivia sneers down at him, "She was a little girl when you left, and she hasn't seen you since. Why don't you just go away, back to Starfleet where you belong?"

He balls his fists defiantly. "No. I belong here, with her, and I'm not leaving till I see her."

Before his ex-wife can retort the pitter-patter of feet coming from around the side of the house reaches their ears.

"Mama? Who are you yelling-"

A young girl wearing coveralls and a flower patterned blouse underneath with her brown hair swept up in a braid down her back halts abruptly as she skids around the corner. Seething, Olivia makes her way toward her daughter.

"Baby, this is-"

"Daddy!"

After the initial shock of it all, Joanna comes to life and bounds past her mother and down the steps into her father's waiting arms. Leonard McCoy holds in the tears threatening to burst forth as he hugs his only daughter close refusing to meet Olivia's furious gaze over her shoulder. When he pulls away and straightens up Joanna immediately latches onto his hand. She smiles up at him, innocent and unknowing.

"Joanna, could you leave your father and I alone for a minute so we can talk? It'll be just a second or two."

Reluctantly, the young girl lets her hand drop, and scuffing her feet in the grass, makes her way around the side of the house again.

"So can I have her for the day?" McCoy asks baldly.

Olivia crosses her arms again and stares up at the sky.

"Is that really how long you're gonna be here? You didn't come to tell me that you're moving back, did you?"

He shakes his head. "I've got a job in the clinic at Starfleet I've got to get back to, trust me."

They are silent for a moment. Olivia finally lets out a frustrated sigh and throws her hands up in the air.

"It's not like I can stop you. You can take her, but I'm picking her up when you're done, okay?" she says, stalking back toward the side of the house.

Not expecting much else, McCoy waits until his daughter comes running back around to the front of the house. She waits patiently as he calls for another hover cab, and then launches into speech as soon as he is finished. Laughing, he holds up a hand to stop her.

"Wait a minute, kid," he says, "We've got the whole day. What do ya want to do?"

Joanna thinks for a minute before answering. "Can we go to the zoo? Mama never wants to take me to the zoo. She's always busy."

"Yeah, of course we can go. How about I take you out for ice cream afterwards too? Just don't tell your mom about that, or she'll get angry with me."

Joanna mimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key. The hover cab pulls up, and father and daughter clamber inside.

---

"Did you know that the alligator is the oldest living reptile?" Joanna asks later with her face pressed up against the glass of an aquarium filled with green and brown water.

"No, I didn't," McCoy says for the fiftieth time, "How do you know all this stuff about animals? Are you gonna be a zoologist or something?"

Joanna looks up at him with a look that says are-you-serious? He shrugs, "What? What'd I say?"

"I just happen to love animals, okay?" Joanna asks matter-of-factly turning away from the glass. "Mom thinks I want to be a zoologist, but I don't."

"What do you want to be?"

Joanna looks down at her feet as she leans her back up against the tank. McCoy bends down next to her and lifts her chin up.

"Hey now, what's wrong?"

"I want to be a doctor, like you, but Mama doesn't want me to. She doesn't like it at all, and I don't understand why."

She says all of this very fast, as she rocks back and forth against the aquarium. She sniffles a little, and McCoy pulls her into a hug where she buries her face in his neck.

"Don't listen to your mom, okay? You can be whatever you want to be if you set your mind and your heart to it."

Joanna pulls her head away a little bit and stares at her father with the very same blue eyes.

"Do you think I could be a doctor at Starfleet?" she asks.

"If you want to. We could always use more doctors."

She beams at her father and wraps her arms around his neck again. He picks her up and they exit the reptile house to go look at the monkeys. On the way he continues talking.

"How are you doing in school?" he asks, "You're gonna need lots of schooling if you want to be a doctor."

"I don't like school very much," she whispers, "I mean, I always get my work right and done on time, but none of the other kids like me very much."

McCoy's face falls in unison with his daughter's. She picks at the button on her coveralls as they walk down the line of cages housing the different monkey species.

"How could they not like such a smart and caring girl like you?" he asks gently.

She shrugs. "They always make fun of me because I know the answer to everything," she says dejectedly, but then looks up defiantly, "but I can't help it! I like to learn!"

"And there's nothing wrong with that! Don't mind them. Those kids don't know that they're missing out on getting to know a fantastic little girl."

Though his words cheer Joanna considerably, McCoy feels guilty for not being able to act on those words. Deep down, he knows that as soon as he leaves she'll be left to fend for herself once again against the all too cruel teasing that young children are capable of. McCoy glances at the watch on his wrist and is surprised to see how much time has passed so quickly.

"Let's go get some ice cream before your mom comes to get you."

---

Joanna moves her spoon around the bowl of sundae ice cream they have shared mixing the chocolate syrup and vanilla ice cream until it is a mess of brown mixed with bits of fruit. She's been extremely quiet since he told her that he'd have to be leaving soon. McCoy studies her as she lets the ice cream drip from her spoon and back into the bowl. He can't believe how much older she is and how much she is like him in more than looks now. It fills his heart with immense sadness knowing it may be many more years before he is able to see her again.

"Anything else you wanna tell me about before we go?" he asks, not wanting to miss anything.

Joanna shrugs, a movement she's pretty good at and does regularly.

"Mama's got a boyfriend. I didn't tell you earlier, because I didn't want you to be upset."

"I'm not upset," he says quietly, surprised that she'd been able to hold in such information for so long. "Do you like him?"

"He's not like you," she says, and his heart swells with pride, "But I hardly see him anyway. Mama doesn't really like him to be around me."

McCoy frowns at that statement but do not say anything, waiting for her to continue. Several minutes go by, and then she sets down her spoon inside the bowl and turns toward me. She opens her mouth and thinks for a moment before speaking.

"I'm so happy you're here, Daddy," she says, "I was so scared for you when I heard about that Romulan. Mama tried to hide it from me, but I watched the news feeds in the morning before she got up. Were you scared when you were out there in space?"

"Just scared of not seeing you again," he says truthfully.

"I'm gonna miss you," Joanna continues, "When will you visit again?"

"I don't know. It could be a long time."

"Why so long?"

"Mama isn't very happy with me," McCoy says carefully.

"I know," Joanna says in the same matter-of-fact tone, "Just try to visit when you can."

"Okay, you know I will," he says, as she smiles at him and awkwardly hugs him around the middle, "Just keep doing good in school, and don't give your mom any trouble, okay? She'll think I did something to you."

Joanna lets out a peal of laughter, and I can't help laughing too.

"Speaking of your mom, there she is now," he stands up and points through the window as Joanna cranes her neck to see.

Olivia, her lips pursed firmly, enters the ice cream shop at the front and meets the doctor and her daughter at the back door. Together they step outside in silence looking like a distorted picture of a perfect family.

"Jo, say good-bye to your father, and go wait for me in the hover car, okay?"

Reluctantly, and with tears in her eyes, Joanna throws her arms around McCoy for the last time. He kisses the top of her head gently, and when she moves away he wipes the tears from under her eyes with his thumb.

"I love you," he whispers so only she can hear, and she kisses his forehead before trudging around the corner of the building to the waiting hover car by the curb.

Olivia and her ex-husband watch her go; the latter's heart heavier than he has ever felt it before.

"She's amazing, Liv," McCoy says, nodding as his daughter disappears from sight.

"I know, Leo," Olivia says, and he is surprised by the change that has come over her voice, "She's just like you, you know?"

"I know."

"And I don't love her any less for it," she whispers, and McCoy swallows hard to get past the lump building in his throat. Olivia turns toward him, fixing him with a tired gaze. He hadn't noticed the dark circles under her eyes before, but now they stand out clearly against her pale skin.

"Don't visit again too soon," she says, the words coming out like a sigh, and he knows it's more for her sake than his daughters'. He nods complacently, and is only slightly surprised when she brushes his cheek with her lips briefly before following her daughter around the corner.

Inside he feels numb even as the sweltering sun burns down upon his head; inside, his heart is breaking into thousands of pieces that continually cut him up inside. When he arrives home the next day after spending the night drinking himself into oblivion in a shady hotel room at the far end of town Kirk asks him how everything went. He doesn't even have the heart to respond.