Tegan Chronicles STV Style 3:

What's Left of the Flag 22

Tegan sat on a stool in the lab staring at part of a dark purple leafy plant that an away team had brought back. Occasionally, without conscious thought, she would pull her shoulder back or put weight on her knee until tears would sting the backs of her eyes, like a man-o-war attacking its prey. She sighed and straightened her back cautiously when her combadge chirped. "Sickbay to Dr. Kiser."

"Go ahead Doctor."

"It's forty-five minutes past time for you to be off duty." He needlessly informed her.

"I'm on my way out now." She assured him as she went back to studying the plant. She wondered briefly why it was so easy to lie to the holoman about things that really didn't matter. It wasn't because she didn't think he had real feelings. His annoyances and expressions seemed far deeper than just programmed responses to certain words or phrases, and the way he looked at Seven sometimes. She should try to be more truthful with him.

The next time she pulled back was when the doors to the biolab parted with a quiet whoosh to admit Captain Janeway. She knew without looking up who it was and she would bet a month's worth of replicator rations she was sporting a scowl.

Janeway waited until Tegan made eye contact before she spoke. "You told the doctor almost an hour ago you were on your way out."

She should have made that bet, she would have won. Has it been that long? Maybe I shouldn't lie to him if he's going to run to the captain about everything. Of course the whole point of her most recent lie was subterfuge which was supposed to buy her more time. "I—uh—was." She watched as Janeway perched her hands on her hips. She reached up with her biomechanical hand and flipped the microscope off. "I don't see why I can't return to my normal duties."

"Because the doctor hasn't released you." Janeway dropped her right hand to her side as Tegan slid off the stool and used her cane to stand. I could point out several other reasons, but I won't. She knew she was still in pain even if she wouldn't admit it. "Look, I know you're bored."

"It's not that." Tegan shook her head, although they both knew it was a large part of it. "I'm going to the pool to see if I can loosen my shoulder up some, I'll see you at dinner."

She didn't wait to be dismissed; instead she hobbled past the captain and headed down to the poolroom. She was slowly getting used to the idea of a pool on starship, and she did enjoy swimming. It was great exercise and currently the water helped her to perform her own physical therapy on her healing joints without further damaging them. It also gave her some resistance to work against as opposed to working out in a zero-gravity environment.

Kathryn watched Tegan lean heavily on her cane as she came into the mess hall, each step taking its toll. To look at her face one would never be able to guess the amount of pain she was really in. Not even Kathryn knew how bad it was because she wouldn't tell her. I wish you would just let me in. She strode to Tegan's side. "We could have met in my quarters."

Tegan smiled and nodded to one of the crewmen that stared intently at her as he moved past. She hated that, the way they all looked at her. It was always with some sort of awe, hero worship shinning in their eyes or apology for what she had gone through to save them. Samantha Wildman and Neelix were the worst for the apologetic looks. "I'm fine."

She took a deep breath and decided to let it go. It wasn't worth the wasted energy to argue about it. "What do you want to eat?"

"I can get it." Tegan moved to the counter and looked over the entrees. She felt Kathryn put her hand on her lower back and spoke under her breath to her. "If Jurroth were here right now I'd air lock that sorry son of a…"

"What can I get for you ladies?" Neelix smiled anxiously at Tegan.

"I think we're going to dine in the Captain's quarters tonight Neelix." Janeway spoke politely. "I feel like something light and I could use the company."

"Suit yourself Captain, but I've got Andorian casserole."

Tegan tried not to make a face. Andorian casserole tasted like someone stepped in Targ crap and scrapped it off the bottom of their shoe right onto your plate, or at least that was how B'Elanna had explained it to her after she had watched Tegan take a huge bite of it.

"You 'feel like something light'?" Tegan asked once they made it to the captain's quarters. She had been asked three times on the short trek there if she wanted a site to site transport. She refused each time.

Kathryn helped her to the couch. "I thought you looked a little green."

"I don't." Tegan stopped short.

"You don't what?" She knew exactly what she was going to say, or close enough. She wanted to actually hear her say, though. "You don't want my help or you don't need it?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Which is it?"

"I don't want to argue with you." Tegan sighed.

"Good." She uncrossed her arms and joined Tegan on the couch. "Is it so bad to accept a little help?"

"Yes." Tegan gritted her teeth and looked away. "I'm tired of appearing weak."

"You don't appear weak." She wanted to reach out and touch her, to pull her into her arms but she didn't want to hurt her. "You were tortured, beaten pretty much within an inch of your life all while you were still conscious."

"You're fine. Tuvok is fine."

"We weren't beaten. We didn't have bones broken and—" She couldn't go there. She couldn't start listing the injuries Tegan sustained because she couldn't give up the information Jurroth wanted.

Tegan leaned slowly until her shoulder touched Kathryn's. "It's not your fault. You did what you had to do."

Kathryn laughed wryly. "It's ironic, here I am trying to help you feel better and ultimately it's you who end up helping me."