Siren's Kiss

by JaneAus10

This AU story begins when a young Kara Thrace is rescued from a nuked and dying Picon along with her best friend Karl Agathon. It follows them to Caprica and her eventual meeting with Lee Adama and relates the ways in which their lives are changed forever when her destiny crosses his. Image Credit: Detail of The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. COMPLETE.

40. The Truth Hurts

Chapter 40

The Truth Hurts

In the only definitive study undertaken on the rise in the suicide rate during each successive year of Cylon occupation, several interesting facts emerged, the predominant one being that survivors of the refugee camps were more than twice as likely to take their own lives as was the general population. This statistic was attributed in part to the fact that refugees suffered from untreated Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at a much higher rate and did not have the support systems in place to cope, having in many cases lost their entire families to the bombings and later the illnesses that plagued the camps.

-Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War

.

Carolanne Adama's funeral was private as was the graveside service that followed. Bill wanted only his family and closest friends to attend. He followed Laura's suggestion and allowed her to ask Elosha to preside over both services. Lee was the one who spoke to Elosha the day before the funeral and told her something of Carolanne's life and the circumstances of her death. That evening at his apartment he told Kara how difficult it had been to talk about a part of his life that he thought he had put behind him.

John knew that Kara was spending time with Lee at his place, but he didn't say anything to her. Lee had asked her how her dad felt about her being over there and Kara had told him that John had just nodded when she told him where she was going. Lee didn't know if it was because John knew how much Lee needed her right now or because Laura had talked to him. Whatever the reason, he was grateful.

Lee thought Elosha did a remarkable job conducting a service for someone whom she had never met. It was moving and solemn and yet not maudlin. The graveside ceremony was harder for him than the funeral service itself. While they were at the temple, in the formal and dimly-lit place, none of it seemed real to him, but once they were outside on the beautiful early spring day with its warm sun and blooming flowers and budding trees, he felt the grief and pain settle over him once more. Spring was a time for life to begin, not to end.

Throughout all of it, Bill sat or stood by himself. Even Saul and Ellen Tigh kept a respectful distance. Lee stood with his brother and Kara on one side, John and Laura on the other. None of them made it through the graveside ceremony dry-eyed except Zak. Zak didn't break down until it was over and he stepped up to the casket and put his hand on the top of it.

"Goodbye, Mom," he choked and then he turned and ran across the lawn, skirting the graves and crypts with the skill of a born soccer player. Lee started to go after him, but Kara put her hand on his arm.

"Let me," she said. "Stay with your dad."

Kara followed Zak until he stopped running and stood, out of breath. Tentatively she approached him. She was out of breath herself. She waited.

Finally Zak rubbed the sleeve of his shirt across his eyes and said, "I'm not going back until he's gone."

Kara pointed toward a nearby bench and they both sat down. "Do you want to talk?"

Zak shrugged and they sat in silence for a few minutes until he said, "Lee told me when I was a little kid he used to find me in her room sleeping on the foot of her bed like I was a poodle or something."

"Lee's only two years older than you. You were both little kids."

"He was probably seven or eight then. He was the one who would make me get my bath most nights and go to bed. If mom was sleeping or something, he'd always fix me something to eat. We ate a lot of cereal and peanut-butter sandwiches at night. It's a good thing we got good lunches at school or we'd have died of malnutrition."

"I didn't know that."

"She did it before. Took too many pills with booze. I found her then, too. Lee called the emergency number. It wasn't too late that time. She went to a psych hospital for six weeks and got better. I was fourteen. Me and Lee stayed with Dad's parents. He always said it was an accident, but they didn't think so."

"Is that what you think?"

"I don't think you can do something like that accidentally."

"When Elosha was talking at the grave, I was thinking about my mom. She didn't even get a funeral. Nobody said any nice words for her."

"Why not?"

"She died on Picon. I was thirteen when I saw her for the last time. The night my dad flew me off Picon, my mom stayed behind. I remember her standing in the doorway of the ship and in my memory she's wearing her full combat gear, but I know she wasn't. I know she was wearing fatigues, but that's the way I remember her because she was going to fight the Cylons."

Zak looked surprised. "She stayed behind on purpose? She could have come with you and she stayed behind?"

"I didn't realize it until we were in the air. I thought she was coming on the next ship until Karl told me there weren't any more ships that could get through the radiation over the planet."

"So she did the same thing as my mom."

"My mom didn't kill herself."

"Yeah, she did," Zak said.

"My mom stayed with her unit," Kara said, anger rising in her voice. "She stayed to fight the Cylons."

"She knew what was going to happen to them…to her unit. She knew they didn't stand a chance."

Kara realized she was beginning to tremble. She swallowed hard. "My mom was a hero. She died fighting the Cylons. She didn't kill herself."

"Don't you get it?" Zak said harshly. "It doesn't matter how she died, whether some toaster shot her or she died of the radiation or whatever. She stayed behind rather than go with you and your dad and she died. She chose to die…just like my mom."

"No," Kara said shaking her head. "No she didn't."

"Yes, she did. Both of them chose to die."

Kara was breathing hard. She stood up. "Get on your feet. Stand up and say that to me."

Zak stood. "Can't you face the truth? Lee said you were tough. Is the truth too much for you?"

"Why did you have to spoil it for me? Why did you have to…ruin…the way I remember her?"

"The truth hurts, but it's still the truth. She might as well have put a gun to her head or swallowed a bottle of…"

Kara hit him as hard as she could. She would have hit him a second time, but he dodged the blow. When she recovered from missing the second punch, she went at him again and they ended up rolling on the grass. He had his hands clamped tightly on her wrists to keep her from swinging again, but she wouldn't stop struggling.

"Lee…won't…tell you the…truth…like…I…will," Zak said, breathing hard from the exertion of holding her down. "He's…too nice."

"Let me go, damn it, let me go."

"Are you…going to…hit me again?"

"No."

He rolled off of her and lay beside her on his back breathing hard. He had a bloody lip. She'd gotten him good with that first punch, right where she'd aimed, right in the mouth that had said those ugly, hurtful words about her mother.

"Damn," he finally said as he wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. "I never thought a girl could hit that hard. You've got a mean right hook."

"You've got a mean mouth," Kara said as she sat up and massaged her fist.

"You've got dried grass all over that black shirt."

"Whose fault is that?"

"If we go back looking like this, Lee will think we've been frakking or something. He'll probably finish what you started."

"You're messed up, Zak. You should get some help."

"So should you."

"I'm doing fine. I'm going to the Academy in the fall...if I get in...and I'm going to learn to fly a Viper, and then we're going to get rid of the Cylons."

"You've been smoking the same stuff my dad and Lee have been smoking."

"We haven't been smoking anything. We're going to do it."

"We've got about as much chance of getting rid of the Cylons as we have of finding Earth."

"What do you know about Earth?"

"I know it's in Pythia, in one of her prophecies."

"Does you believe in the gods?"

He shrugged. "Everybody's got to believe in something."

"Lee and your dad don't believe…not in the gods."

"That's them. I told you at the reception we're a frakked up family. Our last name should be Dysfunctional instead of Adama."

Kara looked up just as John walked around a crypt and saw them.

"What the hell happened here?"

Zak sat up. "She decked me. I had it coming."

Her father looked at her. "Is that right?"

Kara nodded. She put up her hand and John pulled her to her feet. She began to brush the grass off her shirt.

"Lords of Kobol," John said. "Turn around. You look like you rolled through a hay stack." He brushed the dried grass from the back of her shirt and helped her pick a few pieces out of her hair. "Let's go. Laura and Lee are waiting for us."

"Has my dad gone?" Zak asked.

"He left with Saul and Ellen Tigh."

Zak got to his feet. "I'm sorry, Kara. I'm really sorry for what I said to you about your mom."

She shrugged. "Forget it."

"What did he say about your mother?" John asked.

"I took care of it."

"So this wasn't about him trying something?"

"No."

Her father put one arm around her and the other one around Zak.

"Come on, Zak. We're not going to leave you here."

Together the three of them walked slowly back to the gravesite where Lee and Laura were waiting.

"Dear gods," Laura said when she saw Zak's swollen and still bleeding lip. "What happened to you?"

"I ran into something," Zak mumbled.

Laura handed him several clean tissues before she glanced at Kara. Laura knew there was something more to it than that. Kara was sure she did. Lee didn't say anything, but Kara was sure he had a better idea of what had happened than Laura did.

Later that night at Lee's apartment, she told him everything. He listened without saying a word until she was through.

"I'm sorry he said what he did. He deserved what he got from you. Zak's like that. He gets on something and he won't let go of it. The time I hit him he did the same thing…just kept pushing and pushing until finally I slugged him. Zak's messed up."

"I just finished saying that."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'm going over to help him move his stuff into his friend's place. He doesn't have much. It shouldn't take too long."

"I've got to work tomorrow or I'd help. What's your dad going to do now? Is he going to keep living in the house by himself?"

"We haven't talked about it."

"Are you going over there tonight after you take me back to Laura's?"

"I want to talk to him. Laura and I were talking today after John walked away to find you and Zak. She said my dad is discouraged about his plan to get rid of the Cylons. She said he has some parts he can't figure out. At the risk of making him angry, I'm going to ask him to tell me what they are. Maybe I can come up with something to help."

"Maybe I can help, too."

"Kara, this is military stuff."

"So? I'm going to be in the military."

"Kara the fearless Cylon killer."

She pushed him onto his back and straddled him. "Are you making fun of me? Cause I can do the same thing to you I did to Zak."

"Bust my lip?" He pulled her down to him and kissed her.

She bit down gently on his lower lip. "I'd only be hurting myself if I did that. I don't want to put your mouth out of commission. You can do such nice things with it."

...

When Lee got over to his father's house that night, Saul Tigh was still there. He and Bill were sitting out by the fish pond sharing a bottle of whiskey. Bill had a cigar. Tigh was smoking a cigarette. Lee got a glass from the kitchen and joined them, positioning his chair upwind of the smoke.

He was glad that Ellen wasn't with the colonel. He sat for a long time and listened to his father and Tigh reminisce about their early days together in the fleet and about a fight they'd gotten into with five members of a space station construction crew in a bar on Picon one night.

"Those were some wild times before I met Ellen and settled down."

Bill poured them both another drink. "Some wild times indeed."

"Where is Mrs. Tigh tonight?" Lee asked more out of politeness than any real curiosity.

"She said she didn't want to spend her evening listening to a couple of old warhorses talking about the past."

"Why don't we talk about the future then?" Lee asked.

"Such as?" Bill said.

"The plan."

"The plan is coming along fine."

"Then why did you tell Laura…"

"I was still half drunk when I was talking to Laura. I don't remember exactly what I said to her."

"How many battlestars have you got FTL jump crystals for?" Tigh asked.

They all knew that after the peace treaty was signed, the Cylons had removed the FTL jump keys along with all the armaments from the battlestars. They could make no jumps through space now. Weapons or not, the Cylons weren't taking a chance on any surprises from the Colonials.

"Six jump keys. Just six so far. We had nineteen battlestars still fully functional at the end of the fighting three and a half years ago. Two have since been deemed unfit for space travel. They're drydocked at Ragnar with a skeleton crew waiting to be decommissioned, stripped of parts and returned to Caprica for scrap. That leaves seventeen although from the visits I've made to them in the last two years, I don't think three of them will be able to make a hyperspace jump and stay in one piece. I haven't decided yet exactly how I'm going to use them. That leaves me with fourteen battlestars and eight more FTL jump keys to come up with."

"And all the battlestars have obviously got to be able to jump to carry out your plan. What's the problem with making the rest of the jump keys?" Lee asked.

"One of the minerals used in making them, the labradorite, can't be manufactured and doesn't occur naturally on Caprica. The Cylons have our entire pre-war supply along with the original keys locked away on one of their basestars."

"Then where did you find enough to manufacture six keys?"

"It was mislabeled in a chemical company's warehouse. It was a year before someone opened the box and realized what they had. We got the six FTL jump keys from what was in that one box. We might have gotten a break, though. I heard from Zarek this morning. One of his crew thinks he found a small vein of it on Tauron, but they had to pass it by and keep the mining tunnel going for the tylium. He's going to try to get it out without alerting the Cylons. Their worker drones wouldn't recognize a vein of labradorite, but they would know if some of Zarek's men started mining an area where there is no tylium. I should know something in a couple of weeks."

"What are you still working on?" Lee asked.

Bill turned up his drink. "How to get enough explosives inside that Cylon basestar and get it far enough away from Caprica that it doesn't get caught in our gravity after we set off the explosives."

Tigh got up. "That's too complicated for my brain at this hour. I'm going to call it a night. Ellen is waiting on me and you know how impatient she can get. You'll come to dinner tomorrow night. Ellen said to make sure you said yes."

Bill also stood. "Call a transport, Lee. I'll walk with Saul to the end of the driveway."

Lee took out his phone and made the call. He poured another drink and waited. Fifteen minutes later his father was back.

"You don't need to stay tonight, Lee. I don't need a babysitter."

"I've already had a couple of drinks. I'm not going to drive."

Bill sat silently for a long time. "I did try. With your mother. Six or eight months ago. After a fiasco with dinner one night when she'd asked John over…John and that woman he was living with…I don't remember her name. She was working and couldn't come."

"Lissa. Her name is Lissa. What happened?"

"Carolanne had been drinking all afternoon. I didn't realize it until I got home from work. John had just gotten here. He was helping her take several dishes out of the oven that she'd left in too long…burned to a crisp. Later John tried to talk to me about getting her some help. I told him to mind his own business, but I did try. Your mother wouldn't go."

"Why?"

Bill turned up the glass and drained it. "She never told me why. She just told me no. I've known she had a drinking problem for years. That's what I tried to get her help for. This other thing…this was an accident. She did not do it on purpose."

"What makes you so damned sure of that?"

"She didn't leave a note. She didn't say anything. Not to me, not to Zak. Nothing. It was an accident, Lee. Just an accident. Just like the first time."

"You really believe that, don't you? Do you really think that because you tried once to get her to go for help that you did enough?"

"I should have tried again, but I didn't."

"Why? Because it made you angry that she wouldn't obey an order? That's what you're used to, isn't it? Having your orders obeyed without question? Mom wasn't a soldier. She was your wife."

"You've got no idea what the last year has been like, so leave it alone. It's none of your business."

"It damned well is my business. She was my mother."

Bill sat silently for a long time. "I had to make a choice. I could be the husband she wanted or I could try to complete my plan to get rid of the Cylons. I couldn't do both. Sometimes you have to make a choice for the greater good. You have to sacrifice at a personal level."

"And you sure didn't mind sacrificing her. You weren't even trying at all. You weren't even sleeping in the same room."

"Zak should have kept his damned mouth shut. Carolanne asked me to move to the guest room. She put me out, not the other way around."

"Why did she do that?"

"That is absolutely none of your business."

"You should never have gotten back together with her three years ago. You should have let her get on with her life."

"I made the choice to move back in because I wanted the chance to be a father to you and Zak."

"Did you really think that coming back into our lives when we were nearly grown would make up for all the years you just dropped by for a week or a weekend and couldn't wait to get back to your precious battlestar?"

"That's enough, Lee."

"You've got no idea, no frakking idea how bad it was sometimes. But you didn't care enough to even ask."

Lee realized his voice had risen as long-stored anger and resentment bubbled up in him.

"I said that's enough."

"Not tonight, Dad. You need to hear the truth. You were too late three years ago. You should have gone ahead with the divorce and then you and Laura could have been together."

"Gods damn it. I told you that is none of your concern."

"You think I don't know what it did to mom? Knowing you were always comparing her to the beautiful and accomplished Laura Roslin, the love of your life. Wishing you weren't stuck with a drunk of a wife so you could be with the woman you love. Well Mom's timing really sucked didn't it? If she'd done this six months ago, then Laura wouldn't be with John now, would she? She might be having your baby instead of his."

His father got up suddenly, knocking the wrought iron chair over. He stood for a minute clenching and unclenching his fist before he turned and without a word went back into the house. Lee heard the patio door slam behind him.

He poured another drink. "The truth hurts, doesn't it, Dad? The truth hurts like a son of a bitch sometimes."

...

Laura looked up from the book she was reading as John walked back into the den from the terrace. "It's nine o'clock. Kara should be home by now. She's working tomorrow."

"She's at Lee's place. She called before she left work. I told you."

"I noticed she called you with that piece of information instead of me."

He walked over to the bar, opened the cabinet door, stood for a moment and then closed it. Laura heard him take a deep breath and sit down on the sofa.

She closed her book and went to sit beside him. "Let's talk about it."

"About what?"

"Whatever it is that's bothering you so much right now. Is it Kara and Lee being together?"

"That's part of it. I know I told them they could, but…she's sixteen."

"She'll be seventeen in a few months. And she's a very mature sixteen. She's more mature than a lot of twenty-year-olds."

He gently placed his hand on her slightly rounded belly. "Are you going to let our little girl sleep with a guy when she's sixteen?"

Would she?

"That bridge is far, far in the future. I'm not going to try to cross it now. Besides, we don't know that we're having a girl. It might be a handsome little boy who will be just like his father. Are you going to let your son sleep with a girl when he's sixteen?"

He smiled. "Always the diplomat. You learned a lot from your father."

"Just the way Kara is going to continue learning from you. She loves you, John, but she loves Lee, too."

"I know."

"He needs her now. I'm sure he feels like she's the only one he can turn to."

"I know that, too."

"Kara told me she had talked to Lee this afternoon during her break. He was helping Zak move his things into a friend's apartment. She told me that Lee and his dad had gotten into it last night. Those were her exact words but she didn't elaborate."

"That doesn't surprise me. Lee's not going to show his grief the same way Zak does. Lee bottles everything up and keeps it inside until something pushes him too far. Apparently something happened last night that pushed him into confronting Bill."

"Speaking of confronting…what happened with Kara and Zak after the funeral yesterday?"

John shook his head. "Zak implied that because Kara's mom stayed behind on Picon with her unit that she had killed herself, too. Kara hit him."

"Oh, John."

"Zak's hurting right now and he's blaming himself for not doing more to help his mother. I talked to Kara for a while after you went to bed last night. She's going to have to learn to control her temper. If she's admitted to the Academy and does that, she'll get kicked out."

"How did she react?"

"She gave me a lot of lip like she always does. She started with he deserved it. I agreed with her. He probably did deserve it, but I told her that if she couldn't control herself in the future, she'd pay a price for it. Then she went on to tell me she didn't think she passed the test and wasn't going to get admitted anyway. Colonel Burgher told me he had recommended to the review board that she be admitted no matter what here test scores are. That's how much of an impression she made on him."

"But you didn't tell her?"

"No. His recommendation is no guarantee it's going to happen. I didn't want to get her hopes up. She'll get the letter in a couple of weeks. We'll find out then."

"So you're all right with her becoming a pilot?"

"I don't know that I'll ever be all right with it. The only thing I feel better about is knowing I'll be the one to train her in the simulator. Being a Viper pilot is dangerous enough as it is. If we fight the Cylons, she…well, like you said, we haven't reached that bridge yet. We can't cross it until we do."

Laura leaned her head against his shoulder. "Kara has some concerns about my relationship with Bill. She's mentioned it to me twice. Has she said anything to you about it?"

"I told her not to worry."

"Is that part of what's bothering you?"

John leaned his head back against the cushions on the couch and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. "It's always bothered me."

"And you're worried that now Carolanne is gone, Bill and I might want to be together again?"

John took a deep breath. "Yes."

"If Kara's mother had somehow miraculously survived the Cylon attack on Picon and suddenly made it here to Caprica City, how would you feel? Would she mean nothing to you? Is there not some small part of you that will always feel something for her? Can you completely obliterate the past from your heart? Just wipe her out like she never existed?"

"No."

"What else can I say to you? In that regard Bill Adama is my past. You and our child are my present and my future. But I can't tell you Bill is completely gone from my heart just like Kara's mother will never be completely gone from yours."

He nodded. "I understand."

"Bill is going to need both of us to help him get through this. In a few days his friend Colonel Tigh will go back to the Galactica. Zak has made it clear how he feels about his father. Lee's relationship with Bill is now strained to say the least. I hope Bill will open up to us about his plan and let us help him…let you help him at least. You have a military background."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Laura placed her hand over his. "Not in the last five minutes."

He leaned down and kissed her. They were really getting into the kiss when Laura heard the door open. "Hold that thought," she whispered.

Kara walked into the den. "Am I interrupting something?"

Laura smiled. "How was your day?"

"Not that busy. I sat in the break room at MediFirst more than I was on the bike, but it's a Sunday. Tomorrow will make up for it."

"How's Lee?" John asked.

"He's going back to work tomorrow. He said they got all of Zak's stuff moved to his friend's apartment today. His dad went to his office early this morning. He was still there when Lee left this afternoon."

"I think your father was asking how Lee is doing emotionally."

Kara shrugged. "He's not talking about it. He and his dad had it out last night. He wouldn't tell me exactly what was said, but he did say that it was bad enough his dad wanted to hit him."

"Dear gods," Laura said. "John, will you talk to him?"

"I'll try, but Lee's more like Bill than he realizes. They're both stubborn and opinionated. Lee had it rough growing up. His father was always gone and his mother mostly ignored him. He was taking care of Zak when he was seven or eight years old. Lee didn't have much of a childhood."

"Maybe that's why he never talks about it," Kara said. "When I talk about camping out with Karl and his family or skateboarding or swimming in the creek behind the base, Lee never says anything about what he did when he was a kid."

"Probably because no one ever did those things with him."

Kara grinned suddenly. "I'm going to have to teach Lee how to have fun."

"I thought that's what you were doing over at his apartment tonight," her father retorted.

"Dad!" Kara said in embarrassment. "On that note, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Some of us have to get up early in the morning and go to work. I'll let you two get back to whatever you were doing before I interrupted you. It looked like you were having fun."

As she left the room, John said, "She has got a mouth on her that just won't quit. I'm going to have to talk to her about that, too."

Laura laughed softly. "Even if she didn't look like you, I don't think anyone would ever question who her father is. Now, I think we should take her suggestion and have fun."

...

Three weeks less one day had passed since Kara had taken the Academy entrance exam. She knew because she had marked off each day since then on the little calendar she kept on her dresser. She hadn't heard anything yet. The guy who had administered the test had told them that the letters would go out the first week of June. Last Friday had been the first day of June.

Now she sat in the den waiting for her father to get back from the doctor's office so they could go to lunch together.

She heard his key in the lock. He opened the door and came into the den.

"Finally," she said. "I'm starving. What did the doctor say?"

"He released me. I can schedule the flight physical now. He wants me to keep doing the physical therapy and said I can start working out again. He said I may still see some improvement in the arm, but everything is healed about as well as it's going to. The bullet did more damage to the radial nerve than the doctor in Sovana thought it did."

"I don't notice any difference in the way you use your arm now. Not like I did at first."

"Something came in the mail for you today. I got it out of the box on my way up." He walked over and handed her a pale gray envelope.

In the upper left corner Kara saw the insignia and name and return address of the Academy.

"Aren't you going to open it?" He asked.

She stood up. "I'm afraid to."

"Do you want to leave it here and go to lunch first?"

Kara shook her head. "Give me a minute." She walked to the terrace door and placed the envelope against the glass. The letter inside was folded. She couldn't read it. Finally she just tore the envelope. With trembling fingers she extracted the letter and opened the folds. Her name and address were at the top.

The Caprican Academy of the First Military District of the United Colonies of Kobol is pleased to announce your acceptance for the fall semester beginning…

Kara clasped the letter to her chest. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her father.

"Bad news?"

"I got accepted."

He walked over and put his arms around her. "Congratulations, baby. You don't seem happy."

"I'm scared. I didn't think this would happen."

"You don't have to go. I thought you wanted to go."

"I do. I guess I'd just been telling myself for three weeks not to be disappointed when I got turned down and now…" she took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with her hand.

"Why don't you call Lee and tell him and then we'll go to lunch."

She walked out on the terrace. When Lee answered, she didn't even identify herself. "I got in," was all she said.

"Congratulations. I knew you would. Ever since the Sunday afternoon you smoked that sim I had a feeling you would."

"I'm going to lunch with my dad. I'll call you later today. I love you."

When she walked back into the den her father was just ending a call on his phone. "Laura?" She asked.

He nodded. "She's happy for you. Come on, let's go. I seem to remember you saying something about being hungry."

After they ate lunch at Channing's, her father asked her if there was anywhere she wanted to go that afternoon.

Impulsively she said. "Let's go see the Oracle."

"Why would you need to do that now that you've gotten accepted at the Academy?"

"Trust me. She knows about a lot more than the Academy."

John flagged a transport and once inside, Kara told the driver, "Go down Fifty-Third Street toward the pier. I'll recognize the place when I see it."

She missed the little sign for the shoe repair shop until they were past it and had the driver let them out on the corner. Together she and her father walked the half-block back up the street.

"I can't believe you came into this part of town by yourself," he said to her.

She rolled eyes. "You worry too much. These stairs are really narrow and steep. I don't see how the Oracle does it being blind." Kara went up first. Her father followed.

"You know I don't believe in this stuff…about somebody knowing our fate or destiny."

"I know. You think we make our own destiny."

She knocked at the door. It was opened after a minute by the same bronze-skinned woman dressed much the same as she was the last time Kara had been there.

"Ah, you have returned and brought someone with you. Come in, come in."

Kara entered the room. Her father looked around. Kara smelled the ocean and heard the soft tinkling of a wind chime somewhere else in the apartment. At least the incense wasn't as strong today as it had been the last time.

"Have a seat. She will be with you in a moment."

"Your accent," her father said. "Gemenon?"

"Aye, my mother was Gemenese. My father, who knows?"

"She was born among the stars," Kara said, "in the cargo hold of a freighter."

The woman laughed, her silvery laughter floating around them. "Much the same as a stray cat."

The gauzy curtain was pulled back. Yolanda Brenn entered the room. Today she was wearing a long blue skirt and lighter blue blouse. The same paisley shawl was tied around her shoulders.

"Posiden has come with his green-eyed daughter," she said. "Sit, please."

Kara looked at her father and raised her eyebrows. She could tell he was surprised, maybe even impressed. They went to the cushions and sat. Yolanda held out her hands. Kara knew what to do this time. She placed both of her hands in Brenn's.

"You no longer live the lie."

"No."

"The one who sought you has found you."

"Yes." She grinned. "Although technically I found him."

"Now you seek your destiny."

"Yes."

Yolanda Brenn appeared to relax. Her blind eyes became trance-like. "Your destiny does not lie always in this place. I see wings. I see another…the one who does not know who he is."

"He's my destiny?" Kara asked in shock.

"He is part of your destiny."

"What does that mean?"

"I only speak what I see. You will know when the time is right."

"The one who bears the name of a god, is he still my true love?"

"He will always be your true love."

Kara smiled at her father. He gave her one of his you-can't-be-serious looks.

Brenn dropped Kara's hands and held hers toward John. "Take her hands," Kara whispered. Reluctantly her father did as she asked.

The Oracle held them for a few moments before she spoke. Finally she said in a voice tinged with awe, "Your son will map the stars on the way to Earth."

"I don't have a son."

"You will," Brenn said. "Your wife is with child."

Slowly John turned to look at Kara.

"What is this?" He asked Brenn. "What do you mean by my son will map the stars on the way to Earth?"

"As I have told your daughter, I only speak what I see. I don't interpret. You are not a believer."

"Not in this sort of thing."

"You should open your mind to the possibility. Remember what I have said." She dropped his hands and stood up.

Kara scrambled to her feet. She took a handful of cubits from her pocket and gave them to the bronze-skinned woman.

Can I come back?" Kara asked her.

"As often as you would like," the woman answered her with a smile.

Kara put out her hand and this time helped her father to his feet. He, too, took some cubits from his billfold.

They descended the steep stairs carefully and in silence. On the sidewalk outside she looked at him. "Spooky how much she knows, isn't it?"

"There's got to be some rational explanation."

"You might start believing her when Laura has a little boy. I want you to go one other place with me, but first you've got to promise me something."

"What?"

"You've got to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Nobody. Not even Laura. And you've got to promise me that you won't do anything to him, not now, not ever."

"I'm not going to promise you anything until you tell me what this is all about."

Kara took a deep breath. "The one the Oracle was talking about, the one who doesn't know who or what he is, that's the Cylon. I want you to meet him, but only if you promise not to do anything or tell anyone."

"I can't promise that."

"Then we won't go." She started up the sidewalk. He caught up with her.

"Why is he so important to you? He's a frakking Cylon. He's like that Doral who shot me and Cavil who wants Laura dead and Simon who's trying to make human-Cylon babies. They killed billions of humans. How can you protect even one of them?"

She stopped walking and turned to face him. "When I was studying for the test, I read a lot about the history of the Colonies. Before the First Cylon War, the Colonies were always fighting each other. Humans have been killing humans since…since we've been around…hundreds of thousands of years. Then humans made the Cylons to do their fighting and killing for them. It's karmic justice, don't you think, for the Cylons to come back and kill the ones who made them? If humans weren't always trying to kill each other, we wouldn't have needed to create killer Cylons. What difference does it make who's doing the killing?."

"The difference, Kara, is that the Cylons were going to exterminate us as a race. They were going to wipe us out. Obliterate us from the universe. Then they got the bright idea that they would combine our genetics with theirs, our human DNA with theirs. You don't need a copy if you can make a baby. By making a race of hybrids, they essentially found another way to wipe out humans."

"He's not like that. He thinks that's wrong. He was arguing with Simon that night at the lab before I killed him." Kara and her father stared at one another for a long time. "Just forget it. Let's go back to the apartment."

"No. Let's talk about this some more. I can tell it's important to you. Do you really believe that this Cylon is part of your destiny?"

"The Oracle said he was. And it's not just my destiny. It's our destiny…everybody on Caprica."

"Okay, how about this? You take me to meet him and for now I keep your secret. For now I don't tell anyone. But if you're wrong, if he does anything to make me think you're in the slightest bit of danger, I'll take care of it. That's all I can promise you."

Kara thought about it. Her father was a good judge of people. Maybe he would be able to sense something from Leoben that she didn't.

"Let's ride the subway."

"I don't like the subway."

"Why not?"

"I don't like being jammed in a train car with a lot of people. It puts you in a situation you can't get out of very easily."

"You were in the resistance too long. So call a transport."

"No. You like the subway, we'll ride the subway."

Fortunately the car wasn't crowded as they rode to the University station. They got seats.

Once up on the street, Kara said, "Remember what you promised. He's going to call me Carrie. That's how he knows me."

They went inside. Leoben was at the register ringing up a sale. Her father looked around. "So he owns this place?"

"I guess."

"It's nice. I wonder where he got the cubits? Real estate this near the University isn't cheap."

She waited until the customer had left before she walked over to the register. Leoben looked up. "If it isn't Carrie with the destiny. It's been a long time."

"I know. And Carrie was a nickname. My real name is Kara. And it turns out my father isn't dead after all. Leoben, this is my father. Dad, this is Leoben Conoy."

"I've seen your picture on the news. Aren't you the pilot who was shot a couple of months ago? Gallagher, John Gallagher, right?"

"Leoben has a really good memory," Kara smiled.

"Did you ever go to see the Oracle?" He asked her.

"Twice. We just came from there."

"Did she help you?"

"A lot," Kara said smugly. "She's good. I'm glad you told me about her."

"And what about you, Mr. Gallagher? Do you believe in the divinations of the Oracle with regards to your daughter's destiny?"

"The jury's still out on that one," her father answered noncommittally.

"Is there something I can help either of you with today?"

"I don't think so. We just stopped by to say hello."

Her father said, "Do you have a book on Cylon philosophy. I'm interested in reading some Cylon philosophy."

"Cylon philosophy?" Leoben said slowly. "No, I can't recall any books on Cylon philosophy."

"What about Cylon art or literature?"

"Nothing on those, either. I have several books on monotheism. That seems to be the predominant Cylon religion."

"Monotheism was around a long time before the Cylons. They didn't originate the concept of one God. That started on Kobol or maybe even earlier. What about a book written by a Cylon? Do you have any books written by Cylons?"

Kara finally realized what her father was doing.

"My dad has a thing about Cylon culture," she joked.

"That's right. I'm still trying to find something that indicates to me the Cylons have any culture…other than a culture of killing humans."

Leoben looked puzzled. "I don't understand what kind of book you want."

John went on, "Every great civilization throughout the ages has produced art and music and literature…and philosophy. They've made great strides in math and science and medicine. In the end, civilizations are judged not by the bloodthirsty way they've destroyed other cultures and other races, but by the way they've enriched their own."

Leoben nodded slowly. Kara saw the corner of one eye twitch.

John looked around the bookstore and gestured to the packed shelves. "So you're telling me that in all these thousands of books, you don't have one written by a Cylon…not one?" He picked up a slim volume from the counter. "Not even a little book of poetry like this one by Kataris?"

Leoben's eye twitched again. "No," he finally said, "not one."

"And these Cylons, these…machines think they're better than we are? They think they're superior to us? That they have a right to exterminate us? Without us the Cylons have no culture. And if they do succeed in exterminating us, they'll still have no culture. Come on, Kara. It's time we headed home."

John lay the book of poetry gently down on the counter and for a long time he and Leoben stared at one another.

Kara looked at Leoben and shrugged. His eye twitched several more times. He had a strange look on his face. Kara followed her father to the door and out onto the sidewalk. They both put on their sunglasses.

"Wow," she said to him. "I don't guess he has any doubts now as to how you feel about the Cylons."

Behind her she heard a sound. She glanced back. Leoben had locked the door and had turned the sign on the inside of the glass around. Instead of OPEN, it now showed the words, CLOSED. Will Return At. Beneath was a little clock with the hands pointing to nine a.m.

She glanced at her watch. It was only a little after four. He was usually open until five.

Kara and her father started walking toward the University. He snickered. "Maybe he has Cylon prayer meeting tonight or something. Maybe he's into the one-God thing."

"I told you Leoben doesn't know what he is. He thinks he's a human."

"No, he doesn't, Kara. He knows damned well what he is. If he hadn't admitted it to himself before today, he has now."

"How do you know?"

"I saw it in his eyes. He knows."

"Do you think that's going to be a problem?"

"No."

"I don't like the way you said that. He's got some part in the plan. You promised not to do anything to him. You promised."

"I'm not going to do anything to him. I'm going to have him watched. I can make one phone call and mention him to someone as a person of interest and he'll be watched. I won't say he's a Cylon. No one will touch him. I'd just like to know who he has contact with, where he goes and what he does."

"He told me that he spends most of his time at the bookstore. He lives above it." She turned around and looked down the sidewalk. "See, he didn't even leave. He's not going anywhere or contacting anybody."

"Then that's what we'll find out."

"We? Are you talking about the resistance? Are you still in the resistance?"

"No. But I couldn't completely cut every single tie I have to them. I still have a contact for anything really important. This is really important."

"If something happens to him, I'll know who to blame."

"I thought Gaius Baltar was the only Cylon-lover I know. I never thought my own daughter was one."

"I'm not a Cylon-lover," Kara said hotly. "He's the only Cylon I know and I don't love him. I just know he's got to stay alive because he's part of the plan. He's part of something a lot bigger than just getting back at the Cylons because…because one of them shot you."

"The Cylons did a whole hell of a lot more than just shoot me and you know it. I'm still going to have him watched."

"Fine. Great. Have him watched. But if anything happens to him…"

"I know. I'll take the blame for it." He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him as they walked. "Don't be angry at me over this, Kara. I love you and I made you a promise. Leoben is going to be fine as long as he doesn't do something stupid."

Kara relented. "Okay, but when the time comes, he's going to help us."

...

That night Kara called Karl. "I got a letter today," she told him.

"Me, too. So did Maggie."

"Good news?"

"Good news. I just talked to Sharon. We all three got in."

"I can't believe it. This is great. All of us will be together at the Academy this fall. My dad will be teaching the Mark II simulator."

"That's great."

"Laura and my dad are taking me out to celebrate this Saturday night, and Lee, of course. She said I could ask you and Sharon. We're going to Bonnie Patrice. Laura said they would pick up the check."

"Oh, man, that's nice of them. That's fine with me. I'll ask Sharon. I know she'll want to go."

"How is Jared?"

"He started dating some girl he works with. She was over here the other night. I can't remember her name. She's okay, I guess."

"Good. I'm glad. What about Maggie? Is she dating anybody now?"

"No."

Kara thought about Zak. "I wonder if I should introduce her to Lee's brother. He's about her age and he's cute."

"I don't know about playing matchmaker, Kara. Leave me out of anything like that."

"Do you think Maggie would come Saturday night if I asked her? I mean she got accepted, too. I feel bad leaving her out of the celebration."

"All you can do is ask her. You want me to put her on?"

"Sure. If she says no, then she says no."

To Kara's surprise, Maggie accepted.

"I won't have a date."

"This is not a date thing. It's to celebrate us getting into the Academy. It's at Bonnie Patrice. Laura said no jeans allowed. We're going shopping Saturday for a dress for me."

"I've got a dress."

"Okay then. Our reservations are at eight o'clock. We'll look for you there."

Kara ended the call and thought for a minute. Then she called Lee. "We need to ask Zak to go with us Saturday night."

"I thought you and Zak weren't on good terms right now."

"We got it settled. That's the thing about punching somebody out when they deserve it. You do it. It's over. Besides, he's your brother. "

"I'm aware of that."

"I just thought it might be nice to include him. Maggie is coming and she doesn't have a date. I told her it wasn't a date thing, but the rest of us will be couples. So I thought of Zak."

"Maggie?"

"My ex-roommate Maggie."

"Is she nice-looking? Zak goes for the good-looking ones."

"She's pretty. I think he'll like her."

"Okay, I'll ask him."

"How is he doing?"

"About the same, I guess."

"And your dad?"

"I haven't talked to him since that night."

"Lee, you can't let something like that ruin…"

"Kara, stay out of this thing with me and my dad."

"I can't believe you haven't talked to your father in almost three weeks."

"When I was on the Triton, I didn't talk to him for three months. It's no big deal."

"So how long are you going to go without talking to him now?"

"Don't start with me, Kara."

"Lee, his wife died."

"And my mother died," he said harshly. "He should have done more to get her help. He should have…done something."

"So I should just keep my mouth shut and let you handle it?"

"That's right."

"I've never been very good at keeping my mouth shut."

"Don't I know it? The first time I played your interview tape, when I heard you smart-mouthing Ackerman, I thought, this girl does not know when to keep her mouth shut."

"So you'd rather be with some mousy little girl who never talks back to you, somebody like that Dee person who never…"

"No, Kara. I don't want to be with Dee. I want to be with you. I just want you to drop this thing with me and my dad and let me handle it. And tell John to stay out of it, too. My relationship with my father has never been all sweetness and light like yours is with John."

"Our relationship is not sweetness and light all the time, but have it your way. I'll see you Saturday night."

She ended the call before he could say anything else.

She found her father in the kitchen and went over to him and put her arms around him.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Lee. He's just so…so…he won't even talk to his dad now."

"I know."

"He said he wants both of us to stay out of it."

"I know that, too."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Lee and his dad are both feeling guilty. Zak, too. They'll eventually come to terms with it in their own time and in their own ways. You're going to have to let Lee handle this one. If it drags on a lot longer, I'll try to talk to him again. Now, Laura tells me you're going dress shopping again on Saturday morning."

Kara rolled her eyes. "I'm going to have to draw the line somewhere on the dresses. First it was one, now it's going to be two. Next thing you know I'll have a whole closet full."

"You look beautiful in a dress."

"That's not the point. Viper pilots and dresses don't go together."

Her father smiled. "That's true. While I was a Viper pilot, I never owned a single dress."

Kara started laughing. "You really think you're funny, don't you?"

"Whatever it takes to make you smile instead of frown."

...

The last time Lee had been at Bonnie Patrice had been on the weekend before he had left for the Triton. He and Blaire had eaten dinner with Laura and Billy because it was Billy's birthday and Lee had forgotten to make reservations. It hadn't even been two years and yet it seemed to him like another lifetime.

He paced on the sidewalk outside and checked his watch…7:38. He was the first one to arrive. He adjusted the knot of his new tie. Laura, John and Kara were meeting him there as were the others. Zak was supposed to work until 7:00 but said he could get back to his apartment, shower, put on his suit and get there by 8:00.

A transport pulled up and Kara's friend Karl got out followed by Sharon, and then another dark-haired girl. She had to be Maggie. Karl spotted him.

"Lee."

"Karl. Sharon."

"This is Maggie Edmondson," Karl said.

So this was the girl Kara wanted Zak to meet. She was pretty and she had on a nice little black dress. Zak would be impressed.

"Nice to meet you. I hear congratulations are in order for all of you."

"It's a miracle," Sharon said shyly. "I was afraid I wouldn't make it."

"You weren't alone," Karl said. "Of course Maggie probably aced the entrance exam. She wasn't worried at all."

A transport pulled up and John got out. He helped Laura out and then Kara. Kara's dress was dark blue-green, above the knee and off-the-shoulder. She had her hair put up tonight and with the makeup, she looked beautiful and sophisticated and a lot older than sixteen.

"Wow." Lee didn't realize he had spoken out loud until the others looked at him…everyone except Karl. He was staring at Kara, too.

"Second that," Karl said.

"What?" Kara said and laughed. "You look like you did that night back at the stone house when I tried on the wedding dress."

"Wedding dress?" Laura asked.

"Long story," Kara answered. "I'll tell you sometime."

"Are we waiting on Zak?" John asked.

"No, he said to go ahead and get our table. He'll be here as soon as he can."

"I've never been here before," Kara told them. "I hear it's really nice."

They went inside. It was nice. Laura and John had reserved a special table for eight in the smaller dining room. As they went through the larger dining room, Kara noticed Sam Anders seated at a table for two on the other side of the room. He wasn't with Tory tonight. He was with a very attractive woman with dark hair to her shoulders. She reminded Kara of Mrs. Peele, but it wasn't her.

Sam saw her and she waved at him. He waved back.

Zak came in about five minutes after they were seated and introductions were made. He took the empty chair beside Maggie.

Kara grinned at him. "Ready for round two?"

Zak laughed. "I don't think so. My lip still isn't right."

Kara forgot about Sam Anders and his date until later during the meal when they both walked into the small dining room.

"I wanted to stop by and say hello to everyone," Sam said. "I met most of you at the reception. This is a special friend of mine, Lissa Colson."

"Hello, Lissa," John said.

"John," Lissa smiled. "You look like you've recovered well."

"I have. You've met Laura, and this is my daughter Kara. And of course you remember Lee and Zak." He went around the table making the rest of the introductions.

"Have we met before?" Lissa asked Sharon. "You look very familiar."

"I don't think so," Sharon answered.

"Oh, well. Nice to meet everyone."

She and Sam started to leave and then Lissa turned around. She came over to John and leaned down close to him. The only reason Kara heard her whisper was because she was seated beside her father.

"I need to tell you something. Now. It's important."

John excused himself and walked out with Sam and Lissa.

He was gone almost ten minutes.

"What's going on?" Lee asked.

Kara shrugged. "I don't know. I hardly think she's out there coming on to my father right under Sam's nose."

When John got back, he took his seat. "Just catching up on a few things with an old friend."

He offered no other explanation but Kara saw him lean over and whisper something to Laura. Laura nodded. She couldn't wait to ask him what Lissa had said. She wondered if it had something to do with Baltar's lab and the human-Cylon baby.

They had champagne that night, several bottles of it, to celebrate four new Academy cadets.

John raised his glass. "To three Raptor pilots and one Viper pilot, a successful year at the Academy and successful careers as pilots for all of you."

They all drank. Laura toasted with ginger ale.

Lee drank only one glass of champagne.

"I'm driving," he told her.

"Still got your mother's car?"

"Dad hasn't asked me to return it."

"Still haven't talked to him?"

His look said he didn't intend to answer.

Outside the restaurant that night, almost everyone was slightly under the influence of the champagne with the exception of Laura and Lee. There was a lot of hugging. Kara hugged Karl first and then surprised herself by hugging Maggie. Even Sharon. Zak came over with a sheepish look.

"You got one left for me?"

"Since we don't have any grass to roll in."

He held her tightly for a few moments. "Congratulations. I hope you do as good as Lee did."

"I'm going to fly circles around him," Kara said and Zak smiled.

Zak left with Maggie and Karl and Sharon in a transport. Karl had told her earlier that they were having an after-dinner celebration party at the apartment. He asked her if she and Lee wanted to drop by. When she found out that Jared would be there, she declined.

"We'll get together at Zeno's next week," she told him.

Lee offered to drive them back to Laura's apartment.

"What did Lissa want?" Kara asked as soon as they were in the car. "Did she tell you about that hybrid baby they made?"

"She mentioned that the hybrid pregnancy was still going well, but what she really wanted to tell me is just as important. Lissa said she couldn't be absolutely certain because she only saw the girl one time, but she thinks that Karl's girlfriend Sharon might be a Cylon."

"Oh, dear gods," Laura said. "How can that be? She's just nineteen. I asked her."

"She says she's nineteen," John said. "But who knows how to tell a Cylon's age since they're created as adults? And Lissa did say that she couldn't be certain. But if she's right, I'm sure she saw another copy at the lab. I doubt this girl would let Simon try to implant her with a hybrid baby if she wants to go to the Academy."

Kara said, "Then maybe Karl's Sharon has been programmed not to know what she is. Maybe she thinks she's a human. They did that to some of them. Made them think they're human."

Lee said, "Maybe she is human. Maybe Lissa is mistaken. We can't accuse someone of being a Cylon without proof."

John was the one who finally answered him. "The lawyer's grandson is right. We need proof before we do or say anything. As to how we get it, that's the million-cubit question, isn't it? Lissa said Simon never put anything about this mystery girl into the computer. He kept all her records with him. So even if I were to ask her, Lissa can't help us."

"I wonder how Sharon would feel about rooming with me at the Academy?" Kara said.

"What would that prove?" Lee asked.

"I could keep an eye on her. I could get to know her…see who her friends are. I could watch her," Kara looked around at her father sitting in the back seat with Laura. "Isn't that what you would recommend…watching her?"

She saw the faintest hint of a smile on her father's face. "I think you're reading my mind."