I do not own twilight. All belongs to stephanie meyer.

Im so glad Chapter 18 really caught your attention. Now I can really get started! Ella's pregnant...so what's everyone else gonna have top say once it all gets out? Or will Sasha go overboard and take the matter into her own hands like shes tried doing in the past? Either way someone is gonna be in trouble! PLEASE REVIEW

Love you guys! :)

~Dazzler 916~

Chapter 19

Losing Ourselves

(Sasha's P.O.V.)

The moment I heard the sound of my sister's voice I knew something wasn't right...and it wasn't a good something. She sounded like she had been crying alot and her voice sounded very weak to add it all up.

It took me nearly two hours of talking on the phone just to get her to calm down and tell me what was wrong.

30 seconds was all it took to get to really talk...

I had convinced myself for these past few weeks that all she as going through was a little stress...then she proved me wrong and told me the truth.

Once the words "I'm pregnant" slipped hesitantly out of her mouth, it all started to sink in very quickly.

Putting all the pressure on her saying "How could you let a thing like this happen to you especially now?" would just make her feel even more horrible and Ella doesn't need that from me right now.

Of course I'm upset. She's worked so hard over these past few years and has grown into such a beautiful dancer. Whatever she decides is her choice, just as long as Seth doesn't put other ideas into her head.

Actually I'm more mad at him than I am at Ella right now.

What sucks is that I can't do anything about it. Everyone knows, and by everyone I mean the Cullens—except Nessie despite how much I love that little girl and I know she can keep a secret. Bella, Edward and Jacob all insisted on her not knowing.

Ella beat me to the punch before I could even offer to go tell him off myself and she won't let me say anything knowing that the last time I got really pissed at him I dislocated his arm : P.

This time I wanna beat the living shit out of him.

Ella needs me now more than ever...and it would be so much easier just this once if I wasn't immortal. There would be so much more I could do just by talking to Mom and Dad. But in the end who am I kidding?

They don't even know I'm still here.

(Chloe's P.O.V.)

I honestly don't know what to say.

I feel like such a horrible best friend for not doing everything I could to keep her out of the situation I ended up getting stuck in. I love my daughter. I really do love my baby and nothing will ever change that.

For Ella, she's is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister seeing that I'm the youngest of 3 kids. Me being the only girl and then there's my overly-protective 26 year old twin brothers Miguel and Raul who are both back in Spain.

It's great to see Ella back as herself again after Sasha went missing, at the same time I wish Sasha were here. In all honesty I think that's who Ella really needs right now.

Yea I can help her out and all seeing that I know what it's like. But in the end it would be so much easier on her if she told Seth which is the one thing she doesn't want to do.

I spent the whole night just talking to Ella in her room. We just talked. The expression on her face said it all. She's completely terrified. All night Ella kept going back and forth on wether she should just secretly get an abortion or if she could keep the baby.

I know she's afraid to face her boyfriend and settle this all out between the two of them, but knowing Ella...this is gonna take a while.

Maybe I should just tell Seth so Ella doesn't have to carry all of this on her shoulders anymore...

After all it's his baby too.

(Seth's P.O.V.)

It's been almost 3 days and she won't even bother to pick up the phone. Not once.

This might sound crazy but I've left atleast 35 voice messages on her phone in the past 3 days. The more time passes, the more worried I am. We haven't talked since she pushed me away Monday after school when I showed up to her house.

This isn't like her and I keep blaming myself for why she's so upset.

Did I do something unitentionally wrong?

Even Chloe won't fess up and tell me what's going on? I've tried talking to everyone who could possibly have an idea...all except Sasha.

I just have bad vibes about even making an effort to ask her what's going on with Ella so I'm just gonna leave that one alone.

Ella's hiding something. It's something big which is why she won't tell me. What's even worse is that she's afraid to tell me. She's been so hesitant when it come to who she talks to and what she says. Last time, I checked the only people she's been talking to are Emily, Chloe...and that's just about it.

Everytime I go over to her house to check on her she's either sleeping or she's not there.

It's Friday and she's hasn't been at school since Monday. Ella still won't answer my phone calls...or my text messages.

I'm in AP Calculus right now and I'm bored out out of mind.

"Seth!" I heard my teacher yell right before a paper ball hit me in the face.

I snapped out of it. "Yea Mr. Pierce?"I said.

"Focus! And put the phone away!" He snapped.

The lunch bell rang before he could say anything else. I shoved everything back into my backpack and stormed out of class.

I can't take it anymore. I need to talk to her.

What a coincidence her friends are at the end of the was talking on her cell phone and when I was close enough to catch her piercing stare, both her and Belinda began to look very nervous as I got closer.

"Yea he's walking this way—don't worry I won't. I promise. Okay bye." Chloe hung up the phone when I stood right in front of her.

"Hey Seth—" Chloe began to say before I completely cut he off in the middle of her sentence.

"That was her wasn't it?" I asked right away.

"No. No that wasn't Ella." Chloe hesitated.

I closed my eyes and let out a very irritated sigh. "I don't have time for this right now—" I took a step closer towards Belinda and Chloe causing them walk straight back into the lockers they stood behind.

They seemed a little scared and that's when I realized I was beginning to lose it.

"Seth, calm down We're not the only ones in this hallway. Don't make a scene." Chloe stumbled.

"I'm sorry I just—I really need to talk to her. I don't this at all cause it's driving crazy and I'm getting irritated with this whole situation. Now I don't want to sound like controlling freak or anything but I need you tell me where I can find her right now. It's important that I know where she is...you both know how much I love Ella and I give up on trying to figure out what's wrong with her. You gotta give me some answers," I told them.

Chloe and Belinda didn't say anything. They just glanced at each other and began to fidgit.

"Look, this is something you're not gonna wanna talk about in public—"

"Just tell me where she is. Please...I will get down on my knees and beg if I have to—please tell me. I can't take it anymore unless you want me to really lose it." I said.

Belinda bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

"She's gonna kill us," Belinda shook her head.

"He has the right to know—" Chloe muttered.

"Right to know what? Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"Ummmm...I gonna go catch up with Mateo." Belinda ran off before another word was said. Now it's just Chloe and I.

"Chloe please...please please please," I begged.

"Okay she's at beach. But you didn't hear it from me or Belinda. I don't feel like hearing Ella's mouth." Chloe whispered.

"Thank you so much" I said before making a fast move out the door.

"Seth!" I heard Chloe yell. I turned around.

"What ever happens, just be there for her okay? She really needs you right now." Chloe told me.

Without saying anything I ran back to my car and nearly sped out of the parking lot and to the beach in less than 5 minutes.

She's really close. I can feel it.

(Ella's P.O.V.)

Never in my life have I felt so ashamed of myself.

My head won't stop spinning and I can't even make up my mind. This whole situation is making me too indesicive. Once it gets out there will be all sorts of crap going around about us and I'd hate for that to happen. This is all my fault.

This is going to ruin us.

It's starting to rain again and lucky for me I'm undercover. I always come to this rock cave just to be alone and think to myself.

The sand is cool and calming. I kicked off my shoes and pressed my toes into the cold soil. My feet begin to sting just a little bit as the tiny grains began to rub against the blisters that busted open in dance pratice a while ago. I ignored the pain and pulled my knees to my chest taking deep breaths.

The hood of my sweatshirt covered my face completley.

"Ella..."

I snapped my head up and saw him standing only a few feet away from me. The rain started to pour down even harder and Seth was completely soaked head to toe. The fact that water was dripping from his clothes didn't seem to bother him at all. His eyes were focused on me and much as I tried to do so by looking back at him...I couldn't.

I don't want him to see me like this.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered faintly.

"Y'know all week I've had this bad feeling that something wasn't right. You haven't been at school these past few days, you keep pushing me away and y-y-you won't even answer my text or phone calls..." He told me.

I didn't answer and just stared blankly out towards the ocean. The waves crashed up towards the shore very violently and the wind began to whistle. I had suddenly become cold and I hugged myself even tighter to try and stay warm.

"I left you 35 voicemails and you still haven't responded to a single one!" He yelled.

"Please...don't start yelling at me." I begged.

"Then STOP PUSHING ME AWAY!" He roared.

"Seth—" I began to say before he cut me off.

"NO...I don't wanna hear it. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"I never said you were!" I stood up from where I sat and got in his face trying to reason with him.

"Then tell me what's wrong...cause I don't have anymore patients." Seth grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me back up against the dull rock wall of the cave. I'm terrified cause I've never seen him like this...and I'm scared.

"Seth stop you're hurting me—"

A growl had escaped from his lips and it didn't sound any "human-like" at all. A wolf growl came out of Seth's mouth. He started breathing very heavily and his eyes were locked on me. Seth was beginning to shake all over and his hands were holding my body against he dull curves of the rocks.

In my mind I'm really hoping that he won't phase. Then he saw the horrified expression on my face and immeadiately snapped out of it. He knows what he's done.

My boyfriend backed away from me and I was left completely stunned by his behavior.

"What the fuck was that?" I spat in his face. He could have serioulsy hurt me.

"Have you lost your mind?...Do you even know what I'm going through right now?...Do YOU have any idea what you could have done to me and none the less your unborn baby?" I yelled.

As upset as I was that was just about the only way I could tell him just so he could realize how stupid his actions were.

It worked. That obviously caught his attention.

"What?" He asked me.

Y'know it really sucks having to repeat myself. Dear God please help me...

I think I spoke way to fast for him to catch that last part.

"Oh God, Seth...please don't be mad." I sniffled as tears began to roll down the curves of my cheeks.

(Seth's P.O.V.)

I'm a complete idiot.

I can't believe I just did that. I almost lost it and coud have really hurt her. Her eyes were darker than ever and she was shaking like a chihuahua. I took her hands into mine to ease her nerves. She inhaled and closed her eyes and began shaking even more.

Only minutes after almost hurting her she began to breakdown even more. She was facing down, looking at our hands.

I've never seen her cry this bad. Something was really wrong.

I was growing scared instead of worried now. I've never seen Ella this shaken up before. I didn't like seeing her this way even when we got into that huge fight back in October when I told her about Sasha, but it's much worse. She was truly scared. Scared that when she told me we'll be in the dark once again.

She shed a bucket full more of tears and her bottom lip quivered.

My imprint was completely terrified. I held her chin into my palm and made her look me deep in the eye.

"May, just tell me. Please."

She swallowed and took a deep breath. "Seth..."

"Yes?" I responded, growing impatient.

"I'm pregnant." She choked.

My heart just sank to the deepest depth of my core and my brain went blank.

My imprint just told me she was pregnant...and all I could think about was how dumb of me it was to even try and attack her like that.

(Ella's P.O.V.)

After saying what I had to say, I sat back down in the sand.

"Please say something...not saying anything is making me nervous." I told him.

Seth made his way to where I was sitting and sat down right next to me.

"What options do we have?" He asked me.

"Me having the baby, me having the baby and putting it up for adoption, me getting an abortion, me secretly getting an abortion and pretending none of this ever happened or better yet why don't we just tell our parents and let them figure it our for us. Take your pick." I said.

"This is all my fault..." Seth shook his head.

"No it's my fault. I'm the one who got pregnant—"

"Well I'm the one who got you pregnant." He tried to reason with me.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath. "What are we gonna do?" I asked.

"As of right now...I don't know." He mumbled.

"Oh God," I cried.

"Come here..." Seth pulled me into his arms and he just let me cry.

Despite how comforting the warmth of his body was, it wasn't enough to make me feel any better.

"All my life I've wanted to be dancer. It's all I've been working for since I was very little. Julliard is something that Sasha and I nearly broke our backs for. Now look at me...I let everything go to waste." I breathed.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Seth said.

"What's that crack suppost to mean?" I snapped.

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"Then how did you mean it then? Huh? Do you just want me to get an abortion and take care of this all by myself. YOU just found out, but as for ME on the other hand—this has been on my brain for almost 5 days now so cut the crap. You have no idea how many times I've gone back and forth on trying to make a decision by myself. I'm pretty sure this is all a lot harder on me than it is on you. I'm the one who's having the baby—better yet if don't want anything to do with it then why don't you just get up and leave now. I'll understand—"

"No don't say that!" He stopped me in the middle of my sentence.

"Then what Seth? What do you want me say?"

He didn't answer this time.

"My parents are gonna kill me." I mumbled under my breath.

"No they won't...as long as you have that baby in your belly, either way they'll have to go through me first."

I blinked several times and more tears had spilled over before I burrowed my me head into my knees.

Silence took over, leaving me in his arms completely speechless. It was really starting to sink in now that the both of us are aware of the situation.

I held onto Seth very tightly.

"I'm scared." I trembled.

"I know, don't worry I've got you." He assured me.

I kissed his cheek and then went back to resting my head right under his neck.

"You're not alone. I'm right here." I heard him whisper.

(Seth's P.O.V.)

I stayed with her for another 2 hours until the rain stopped and I drove her home.

I gave her a quick kiss goodbye before she got out the car.

"Hey," I grabbed her hand before she managed to actually get out.

"Call me okay?" I said.

"I will." She assured me. Ella closed the door and I watched her walk back inside leaving me outside.

It's almost 4 o' clock. It's raining again.

Driving back to my house was a total blur. I parked the car by the garage and did nothing but try to sit here and think.

It all started to hit me...
What will everyone else say?

Everything is starting to cave in and I'm losing it.

I snapped at my imprint's friends.

I almost attacked my imprint. Now all I can see is red.

The rain came down and I'll I could think about Ella and what we've gone through.

Ella's been through enough as it is since she's moved to La Push and now this. She's one of the most hard working people I know. All she's wanted to do is dance, and now I'm getting in the way of that.

The only thing I've ever wanted for Ella is for her to be happy.

It's all my fault. Everytime Ella get's stuck in some situation it's always me.

Freshmen year: She saw a girl kissing me at a party, then she pushes me into a pool, throws a bracelet at my face, runs off and gets hit by a car.
Sophomore year: Never will I ever take her cliff diving again...that's all I have to say about that.
Junior year: Nothing happened. That was a good year for us.

Senior Year: I tell her about Sasha and she freaks out, she gets herself drunk on the side of the rode in the middle of a forrests, we almost broke up and both of us ended up losing our virginty to each other in the back of my car, we had sex a few more times after that and it all adds up...

Could our lives get anymore screwed up?

I stepped out of the car and I began to shake incessantly. I couldn't stop no matter how hard I try.

Before I knew it I phased.

I started to run deep into the forrest. That's all I can do...just run away from reality for the time being. All I can think about is her, where we've been and what we've done. Now the only I can't seem to try and fortell in my head is what's gonna happen next? How is it all gonna end.

As of right now there's chance that she'll go through with this and I'll be a father...and then there's the chance that Ella chooses to end it all and we just go on and continue living our lives.

All of this just burns a whole inside my head and I can't take anymore of it. Right now I need my space. I need to be alone. Away from home...away from everyone...away from her...away from my life.

My inner-wolf has taken over and all I could do was howl.

It was the only thing that seemed fit to do.

(Ella's P.O.V.)

This is my fourth time calling him in the past hour and still no luck.

I skipped dinner cause the smell of what Mom made was making me sick to me stomach and I knew I wasn't gonna be able to keep it down.

It's almost 9pm.

Desperate to hear is voice I called him again.

...

...

...

...

...

...still no answer.

Damn it.

I got the voicemail again. Might aswell leave a message now.

"Babe, please call me. I just really need to hear your voice right now. I love you." I hung up.

I layed back down onto my bed with my hands on top of my stomach. "What are we gonna do?" I asked.

Insomnia took over my body nearly a month ago, and just this once I wasn't let it win this time. So I slept.

Sleep is what my body needs.

~~~The next morning~~~

This is the most sleep that I've gotten in days.

13 hours. Yep that's a record. It's 1:30pm. A Saturday...and it's not raining.

My phone is what woke me up.

I grabbed it off the dresser next to my bed.

10 missed calls

That's probably I pressed the button to see who's been calling to me and to my surprise they weren't from Seth.

They were all from Leah. Hmmmmm...that's odd.

She must be trying to reach me, so I called her.

...

...

...

...

... "Where the hell have you've been? I've been trying to call you for the past 3 hours!" Leah muttered frantically.

"I've been sleep!" I explained.

"You need get over here now—"

"Slow downLee, what's going on?" I asked her.

"Well Mom and Charlie are freaking out cause Seth never came home yesterday. The pack is out looking for him—"

"What do you mean he never went home?" I jumped out of bed and started pacing back and forth.

Chloe walked in casually and then my dog followed in after her.

"I think it's pretty obvious. Seth never came home. Mom said his teachers called and he wasn't in the rest of classes after lunch. Mom found his car parked out by the garage. His phone was in the driver's seat and she found shred's of clothes everywhere..." Leah explained.

Before I could answer back a very loud and distressed howl had filled the air.

Charlotte's ears perked up in alert. Chloe just stood there looking at me confused. I flinched when the wolf's cry started to ring in my ears. It could have pierced me to the floor if I allowed it.

"I'm coming right now." I said before hanging up the phone.

"Oh my God." I said to myself as I shuffled to get out of my pajamas and into to some other clothes.

"Can you close the door please?" I asked Chloe.

"What's going on?" She said closing the door shut.

"It's Seth." I panted as I continued to run around looking for my other toms shoe. "Aha!" I found it under my bed.

"What about him?"

"He's missing." I told her.

"I thought he was with you..."

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her say that.

"You and Belinda told him where I was didn't you." I assumed.

Chloe just nodded.

"Great." I mumbled under my breath as I put on my longsleeve shirt. I stormed out of my room and into the bathroom to clean my face up.

"He seemed a little tense when he came up to me and Lindy yesterday asking where you were. Okay so he was a little angry when we tried lying about not knowing where you were." She admitted.

"Good to know. You should have given me a heads up and told me that..." I told her.

"What happened?"

"Before or after he almost attacked me cause I wouldn't tell him what was going on." I snapped.

"What did he do to you—"

"Don't worry about it. It was nothing. He can have quite the temper. All of the boys do. It's normal. I know how to handle it—but yea I did tell him. Much wasn't said after that. Either way he's not gonna let me handle this all by myself." I assured her.

"Well he better! I don't want you going through what I had to deal with—"

"Seth's not like that all. I'm sure you'll start to realize what I mean once you really get to know your boyfriend a little more." I told her.

"Wait what?"

"Nevermind." I walked back into my room.

"There's something else you're not telling me!" She started to notice the suspicious look on my face.

"I'm pregnant! What else is there for me to tell?" I hissed.

"I'm just saying." Chloe rolled her eyes.

"Then knock it off! I don't wanna argue about this with you right now! If anyone asks I'm at Seth's house and I'll be back in a few hours. I'll keep you posted. I promise." I said.

I pulled my hair back into a very messy bun before I ran out the back door and down the stairs.

"Don't tell me you're gonna run down there." Chloe said from the top of the stairs.

"Didn't you tell me last night you were gonna need my car to go to Forks and pick up Nora?" I reminded her.

"Well yea but don't run down to his house! I'll drive you. Plus you shouldn't be running anway—"

"My keys are on my desk. I gotta go." I made a run for it before Chloe could say anything else.I made it to Seth's house within minutes and I nearly got down on my knees when I reached the gravel drive way.

Yea I definitely won't be doing that again. Maybe Chloe was right, I shouldn't have ran here.

I saw Leah walk out from the back of the house and she ran towards me. I was still trying to catch my breath.

Leah hugged me. "Is he okay?" I asked her.

"I don't know. The boys are still out there looking for him—you don't look so well what's gotten into you? Did something happened with you and Seth?"

"Leah...you have no idea."

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I'm happy to announce that Grease is over! The shows went really well and we got great review from the community. School is out on June 16th for me and then I'm on SUMMER VACATION! :DDD I will be doing A LOT of writting over the summer so be ready ;) Thanks for reading! Love you all.

~Dazzler 916~.