Tegan Chronicles STV Style 3:

What's Left of the Flag 36

Tegan took a deep breath and forced it out through her nose before she pushed to her feet and joined Tuvok in front of the viewport in his quarters. "You know I haven't felt like hurting myself since my grandmother did whatever."

"Gave you your gift." He turned and looked at her.

"My curse."

"Is that how you really feel about it?"

"I don't know." Meditation was supposed to make her feel calmer right? "You're calm, how come I don't feel that way?"

"Maybe because you are focusing on your own feelings?"

She glared at him. I don't want to focus on my feelings.

"What do you feel?"

"I don't know." She lied.

"I don't believe you." He stated it in a way only Tuvok could.

She looked out into the dark sky and the stars that were slowly moving past. "I'm mad, frustrated. I didn't ask for this."

"No, you didn't."

"What if Janeway changes her mind about us in light of this?" She didn't know why she had said that. Why she had trusted him enough to actually pose the question aloud.

"I can't be certain but I do not believe this will change her feelings for you." He knew it was hard for Tegan to open up like this.

"How are you doing with the whole… pain thing?" She could feel the minute shift.

"I am dealing with it. It is becoming easier to ignore."

"Meditation?"

"Yes."

She looked around. "I should probably go."

"Same time tomorrow?"

"I'll do my best to be here."

"Tegan?" Kathryn closed her book and looked over at her. She had her eyes closed and her head was resting on the back of the couch.

"Hmm?" She raised her eyebrows in question but didn't open her eyes.

"You can go to bed if you're tired."

"I'm fine." She yawned.

"Sure you are."

"Actually," she opened her eyes and sat up, "I should head back to my quarters." She felt Kathryn's mood shift.

"You're welcome to stay here." Why don't you ask her to stay? Tell her you want her to stay. "How are your sessions with Tuvok going?"

"It's been a week and I haven't made it into the mess hall at dinner time yet." Tegan shrugged. In that week they hadn't spent any quality time together. "You don't like dating an empath do you?"

"I didn't say that."

She smiled. She had put her on the spot and while the hues of emotion shifted Tegan hadn't felt a negative vibe. "No you didn't."

"Do you really think I feel that way?"

"No." Tegan shook her head. "But I probably would."

"Nothing to hide behind?"

"Something like that. I like my walls."

"I know."

"I—" She didn't want to do this now. There was supposed to be candlelight and a romantic dinner atop a white tablecloth. It wasn't supposed to be blurted out in the middle of an ordinary conversation on a boring night. She could feel the beginnings of panic as she paused but she wasn't sure if it was her or Kathryn. She had a harder time discerning Kathryn's feelings from her own sometimes. She took a deep breath. "I love you."

A flood of relief washed over her followed by a wave of pure unadulterated joy.

Kathryn smiled. "Then stay the night."

Tegan nodded.

"Good." Kathryn leaned forward and kissed her. When she pulled back she wiped the pads of her thumbs over Tegan's checks collecting a few stray tears that had escaped her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"You're projecting," Kathryn observed. "I'm happy."

"You were happy, now you're concerned."

"Of course I'm concerned, you're crying." She held onto her shoulders.

"I'm crying because I love you." Tegan laughed, she was crying because of the overwhelming joy she was feeling. Joy she was certain wasn't entirely her own. "They're happy tears."

"I didn't think you cried."

"I don't cry." She sat up straighter. "And you better not tell anyone about this, they'll think you're crazy."

"Will they?"

Tegan reached up and cupped Kathryn's cheek as she moved in to kiss her. "Uh huh." She kissed her lips softly. "Do you think we'll be interrupted tonight?"

"I certainly hope not." Kathryn tangled fingers in her hair and sucked on her lower lip. "Let's move this to the bedroom."

Tegan reluctantly pulled back and followed her into the bedroom pulling off her jacket as she went. Once she was down to her regulation underwear and bra she helped Kathryn shed her clothes. "You know," Tegan let her eyes slowly rove her body as she absorbed everything Kathryn was feeling. "You have a very beautiful body."

"You just know all the right things to say now don't you?"

"Did I not before?"

Kathryn thought for a moment. "You know, you did."

Tegan smiled and pushed her back on the bed before climbing on top of her. "I have a question."

"Uh huh." Kathryn reached around and unfastened Tegan's bra and pulled it off so her breasts could sway freely in front of her.

"Are we exclusive?" She grinned as Kathryn froze for a second.

"What kind of woman do you take me for?"

"I just wanted to clarify." Tegan leaned down and kissed her. "So, are we?"

"If you cheat on me you'll think what Jurroth did to you was foreplay."

Tegan shivered lightly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to…"

"Shhh." Tegan covered her mouth with hers hushing her as their tongues danced. "You don't have to worry about that."

"You want exclusivity too?"

Tegan looked her deep in the eyes. "I love you, Captain Kathryn Janeway and you alone."

Kathryn rolled them over so she was on top. "Good, and you'd better not forget it."

"Aye Captain." Tegan unhooked her bra and pulled it off grinning as rose colored nipples puckered into hard peaks.

Kathryn slid her own underwear off followed by Tegan's before she laid half on top of her straddling her thigh. She kissed her jaw and neck while her fingers danced over her breasts feeling the minor scarring left behind from Jurroth.

"Don't think about it." Tegan whispered as her hand stilled. "It doesn't hurt and the doctor thinks after another run with the dermal regenerator they'll be good as new."

"I'm not sure how I feel about the doctor looking at your breasts." Kathryn lowered her head and kissed each one running her tongue over them before coming back up to kiss Tegan's lips.

"Only you get to play with them." Tegan giggled.

Kathryn nipped at her lower lip and trailed her fingers down to the apex of her legs feeling the slick inviting heat as Tegan brought her leg up to meet her own sex. She moaned softly as she moved her lips to Tegan's ear.

She could feel the desire building in her from somewhere it never had before. She wanted to feel Kathryn in her, she needed to feel her. Even as her fingers slid teasingly over her most sensitive area she craved more. Hot moist air tickled her ear as Kathryn whispered throatily, "breathe."

She gasped as two fingers entered her and Kathryn's hips moved in rhythm with her fingers. She kissed Tegan's jaw and sucked on her ear as she pushed her closer and closer to the edge. Just as she started to feel the slightest tremble in Tegan's body she licked her lips and spoke in a shaky alto, "I love you."

Those three little words pushed her right over the edge and she pulled Kathryn with her into the most intense orgasm she had ever had as she felt Kathryn's emotions tumble into her own. When Kathryn finally caught her own breath she lifted her head and pushed Tegan's hair back. "You're crying again."

"It's cathartic." Tegan grinned gently. "You said you love me?"

"I wanted to tell you before but I was afraid it was too soon. I didn't want to scare you off."

"You're cute." Tegan kissed the tip of her nose.

"And you're beautiful." She smiled as Tegan blushed.