Tegan Chronicles STV Style 3:
What's Left of the Flag 37
"Tuvok," Janeway caught up with him in the corridor.
"Yes Captain?"
"There's something I've wanted to ask you about since the whole incident with Jurroth." She fell into step beside him. "When he first connected the neural link I thought I detected a hint of pain."
"You did."
"Because of the way the link was connected?"
"No, my left arm burned like nothing I have ever experienced before."
"Tegan's arm."
"I believe so." He nodded.
"Thank you Tuvok."
Tegan growled as she jumped to her feet startling Tuvok from his meditation. "This isn't working."
"Are you meditating on your own?"
"Yes."
"Is it helping?" He put the flame on his lamp out and moved it back to the table.
"I don't know." She was agitated again and reached out for Tuvok's calm.
He held a finger up stopping her. "I will not always be there when you need to find an anchor in the storm. You must become your own anchor."
She ran her hand through her hair leaving it standing in disarray.
"Maybe you need to experiment with some different meditation techniques. There are several holoprograms you could explore."
"I'm grounded, remember."
"I will talk to the captain about lifting your restrictions."
"I can't do this Tuvok." She paced the small space in front of him.
"You are used to being in control of your emotions."
She spun toward him. "Yes. And I'm used to knowing that what I am feeling is mine and mine alone."
"It is frustrating."
"That's an understatement." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
"You do not need to apologize. I am here whenever you need my assistance."
"I appreciate it." She studied him for a minute. "You've changed towards me since our whole abduction experience."
"Our experience," he chose to echo her wording, "taught me a great deal about you. I learned just how much I can trust you."
"Of course," she nodded. She should have known a Vulcan would have to earn trust and not hand it out freely like Captain Janeway had. Not that she had trusted Tegan before doing her research, but they both knew earlier on there had to be some give and take. She smiled lightly at the thought before bringing herself back to the present conversation. "Thank you. I really should get going; I believe the captain is expecting me for dinner."
Tegan went to her quarters and stood in the sonic shower long enough to get the day's filth cleaned from her body. It was one of the things she loved to do at the end of her shift even if she hadn't seen a single patient . She put on a pair of jeans, a white tank top that clung to her and a purple and green plaid button down over it. When she touched the button pad outside the captain's quarters the door automatically opened.
"You're early." Kathryn looked up from the PADD she was looking at. She was still in her uniform or all of it except her jacket. "I was finishing reading a maintenance report I didn't get to earlier today."
Tegan pointed at the door as she explained her meditation session with Tuvok ran short.
"I reprogramed it to give you access."
"Isn't that like giving me a key?" Tegan blushed.
Kathryn gave her a half smile. "It is. Is that a problem?"
"No, no problem."
"Are you hungry?"
"I can wait." Tegan indicated the PADD with her chin.
"I'm done, but I wouldn't mind getting a shower."
Tegan nodded. While Kathryn was in the shower she replicated two steak dinners pulling them from the Captain's personal list.
"Do you know every time I replicate this in here it comes out with a nice charcoal crust?" Kathryn cut into her perfectly cooked steak.
"Is it mooing?"
"You remember that?" Kathryn grinned as she thought back on the comment Seven had made and Tom's added sound effects.
"Yes, I was only half dead at the time."
"That's not funny." She scolded.
"I thought it was, and hey if I can't laugh about it…"
"Fine, the important thing is you are alive and well now."
"Very alive." She cut into her steak which was void of pink inside just the way she liked it.
Tegan turned after she finished recycling the dishes to find Kathryn standing almost right behind her. "Hey."
Kathryn didn't say anything as she reached up and pulled Tegan's dog tags out from under her shirt.
"I can take them off."
"No." Kathryn studied them as they rested in her hand, the ball-chain still around Tegan's neck.
"It's not part of the Starfleet regulation uniform. I shouldn't still be wearing them."
"You aren't in uniform." Her voice took on more smoke and grit than it normally had. "It's part of your appeal."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Your appeal. It's what you have left." She tried to explain as she ran her thumb along the edge of the black silencer on one of the tags. "It's what's left of the flag, your flag."
"But they're just pieces of metal."
"It's symbolic." Kathryn laid them gently against her chest and kissed her briefly.
"Of a life that will never be again."
"What if it could be?" Kathryn tried to keep the insecurity from her voice forgetting for a second that this was Tegan she was talking to.
"You mean what if I could go back to my time line?"
"Yes."
"And leave you?" Tegan reached up and brushed the pad of her thumb over Kathryn's lower lip.
"Yes."
"That's a hard decision." She pulled her hand away. "I mean, it was my life." She grabbed her dog tags and pulled on them until the chain gave way. She held them up between her and Kathryn and watched them dangle silently. "It was my life." She opened her hand and let them fall at their feet. "I can't leave you. This is my life."
Kathryn's eyes glistened with tears as Tegan leaned in and kissed her again.
"Don't cry."
"Tears of joy." Kathryn mumbled as their lips met again.
Tegan laid on her side running her fingers through Kathryn's hair in post satiated bliss, nothing more than a single sheet covered their naked bodies. "I hate this."
"What?" Kathryn's brow furrowed.
Tegan leaned in and kissed her. "How much I need you. I don't think I've never needed anyone in my life before, not since my nana died."
"I think you've always needed someone, you just had to learn to do it on your own."
"But I like that. I like being independent."
"You're still independent, Miss I turn off the safeties on the holodeck." She grinned and lifted her lips to Tegan's. When she pulled back she spoke again. "It's human nature to need people. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you normal."
"Me normal?"
"You know what I mean." Kathryn rolled over guiding Tegan onto her back. "Want to try for five?"
"Are you trying to seduce me or kill me?"
"I was going trying to get you to scream my name in ecstasy but since you rarely even moan when we're having sex I'm ready to give up on that ploy."
"Really Kathryn, you want me to scream your name when I come?" She blushed even as she said the word.
"No, I just want to make you happy."
"Oh you do. You make me very happy." She moved her fingers to the apex of Kathryn's legs and slid them through wet curls and slick folds to find her entrance. "But I like it when you moan my name."
A/N: I am currently working on the next 3 stories in the series and will be out of town for several days so please bear with me. I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to review, follow and/or favorite this and other of my writings. Those of you who are silently reading it's ok, I hope you are enjoying it and thank you for your time as well. Again if you aren't following me and you are interested in this or the other series hit the follow button to be updated when I post new stuff.