First Touch

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Sakura sat in her chair, the plush cushion offering little comfort as she looked out the window. She was waiting for him. Her chair was in the path of the light from the night sky coming in her window and it shown faintly on her blank expression. Her parents were asleep and she could feel it, he was coming. She hugged her knees to her chest and stared out into the night.

She had been overwhelmed by her visit from, well, whatever that really was. It was nothing like her wildest imagination had ever come up with. The voice, that beautiful voice; so soft and pure, still clutched her heart as she recalled the way it had told her about Gaara's need of her. She could finally see it now, there was always something off about him but now the missing piece was there; Gaara was a host, and he was lost and needed to find his way back to himself. He had been led astray by the beast in his head and she offered him temporary salvation from the torment of wickedness and bloodlust.

She had been sitting in her room since she finished a quiet dinner with her parents waiting for his usual spontaneous arrival. She didn't see him before the third rounds and had needed some time to collect herself after words. She went straight home and tried to avoid him to the best of her abilities and used losing the exams as an excuse to explain her unusual behavior. But she knew that she only had so long before he would decide that she had been given enough time on her own and seek her out.

And she didn't have to wait long.

There was a sudden whirlwind of sand outside her window and Gaara emerged from the shifting cloud. He slid open her window, she had already unlocked it for him, and slid inside her dark room. When he stood he saw the look on her face and froze. Something was wrong with her, he could feel it.

She rose from her seat on the chair but did not move closer to him. She just stood there.

"What is it?" he asked flatly, not bothering with games.

"Why did you do that to Lee?" Her voice was flat and hurt.

He knew that she would be upset at the way he had treated her fellow ninja, but the bastard deserved it. No one had touched him before, no one had put him through an attack and actually did damage, it had shaken his brain and the things that had been knocked loose in his childhood seemed to rattle in his head, clanking and making the beast in his mind stir with excitement at his dwindling stability. "I had to."

She bit her lip as she recalled the sights she had seen during his fight, the look of bloodlust in his eyes, the confusion of being hurt, the excitement at the heat of battle, and immense waves of power that pulsed through the room. His brother had been next to Naruto during the fight, she had overheard him talking about Gaara and giving general description the attacks and defenses they were seeing before them.

"You were going to kill him…" she spoke in a whisper.

Gaara narrowed his eyes and tensed. "And?"

"Why?"

"Because, when he wouldn't go down it was my only choice to win the match. It was taking too long." His answer was simple and he hoped she would drop the subject.

"Don't give me that," she said as she shook her head. Sakura knew that wasn't his real reason, after being told of the beast in his head she knew his intentions where to kill Lee were for self-centered purposes. "I know what you are Gaara." Her voice was quiet and sure, but also very flat. He felt a pang in his gut. "I know that you're a host."

Gaara could feel himself become bitter and felt the anger of rejection rise within him. His jaw clenched as he spoke. "Who told you?"

"Does it really matter?" she questioned as she saw him go rigid.

"Yes! It does! It was my sister wasn't it?" he demanded, his voice filled with disgust on the word 'sister'. His hands fisted at his sides and she could feel his chakra churn in him from his anger.
"Gaara, why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because no one wants to know," he spat at her, his voice laced with anger. "Everyone just ignores me to the best of their abilities and when they have to notice me all they do is hate me. I didn't want you to do the same."

"So you think I'm going to be just like all the others that treat you that way? You think I'm going to stoop that low? For Christ's sake I told you how I felt about all of this, about Naruto and everything! How could think so little of me!?"

Gaara didn't know how to respond to her outburst. He felt like he needed to lash out at her, like he had done to all the others. But no, he couldn't do that, there was no way he could bring himself to do it. The demon laughed at him, mocking him in his weakness. He desperately wished that he didn't have to live with that humiliation constantly in his head. Gaara stared at her, it was the only thing he could do.

Sakura saw the look in his eyes, panicked and guarded, she could understand why he had tried to keep it from her, she really did, but she felt that he didn't trust her enough. Which, in truth, was also understandable since they were from different villages. But that didn't mean that it was still a letdown and that it still hurt.

Gaara clenched his jaw and spoke through tight lips, his voice was sharp. "You weren't supposed to find out." The beast laughed in his mind, taunting him with the possibility she would be just like all the other, scream at him, call him a monster, flee from him…hate him.

"So you were set on just lying to me until what?" she demanded. "Until I happened to see you snap and lose control of everything? Until I have to find out the hard way? When did you think would be a good time to let me in on your little secret Gaara?"

His eyes were dangerous when they met hers. He was trying desperately to hold his temper, the Shukaku only begged him to snap like she had said. "Never."

She was shocked, completely taken over in disbelief. When she spoke he could see her eyes soften and become distant with pain. He cursed himself. "How could think that I would be like all the other people you knew?" It hurt her to think that he didn't see her as any different than those who shunned him for something he had no control over. Her voice became soft and weak. "Am I not different?"

Gaara didn't know what to say. He wanted to go back in time and tell her himself, if he had only known that's how she would have wanted it. He wanted to be angry and wreak havoc on this pitiful village to settle his nerves. Most of all, however, he wanted to run. He was confused, he didn't understand why the look of pain in her eyes made him hate himself, he couldn't make sense of why she made the anger and bloodlust disappear, and he didn't know how to interact with another person – with her – while still trying to keep their wellbeing and feelings in mind. He just wanted to find a hole in the ground, dig it as deep as he could, and curl up into a ball. He wanted to run and hide from the world, from his memories, from the very light of day, and most of all – hide from her. But he couldn't, not when she was standing right in front of him. He felt trapped.

"So what now?" he asked in a quiet voice, he looked to be almost shaking as he waited for her response.

"What do you mean?" she asked as she eyed his rigid figure.

"Are you going to tell me to leave?"

She shook her head. "Why would I do that?"

"Because everybody does Sakura, they keep their distance and stay far away." He lowered his eyes, they were burning with memories he had long ago tried to suppress. His jaw clenched and his voice became soft as he spoke, almost like he was only talking to himself. "Every last one of them."

Her voice became hushed and he had been so lost in his own mind that he didn't realize that she had moved closer to him. He snapped his attention to her, unsure of what she would do. He watched tentatively with subtle suspicion as she lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. He froze, not knowing what to do. "I'm not like them."

She leaned in and touched her lips with hers, her fingers sliding over his temples to weave through his unruly auburn hair, tugging it slightly to keep his lips in contact with her own. He wavered slightly and sucked in a breath. The beast in his head sighed in delighted content and urged him to respond to her. She had voluntarily sought him out; he didn't need to be told to respond to her. He too sighed as sweet release washed over him, finally he could feel the softness of her lips and her hair, the frailty of her neck under his larger hands, the way she bent into him when he wound an arm around her waist and seemed to melt to her.

She could sense what was going on inside of him, he was fumbling for the perfect way to get as much contact with her as he could, trying to make up for years of never feeling contact in just one moment. She kissed him gently and she could feel him struggle to be gentle back. She didn't know why she had kissed him, it was impulsive of her and the only thing she thought about was the look of loneliness in his eyes. She wanted to take it away and if this was how she could than she was going to do it without complaint.

Gaara moved her backwards, forcing her to fall back onto her bed. He followed her motion fluidly and was above her in an instant. He held her head between his hands and she could practically feel the desperation pour from him. She didn't push him off like he had thought she would over his impulsive action, but instead she shifted under him, as if to get more comfortable. This only fanned the flame growing inside his mind. He didn't want her to go anywhere, she was right where he wanted her and he needed her to stay there for as long as possible. She was the closest thing he had ever come to affection and it was just as addicting as he imagined it would be. The memories of his visions kicked in and Gaara moved his lips slowly with hers, commanding the way they moved. He could have laughed, she was so easy to figure out. Once he became more confidant – which didn't take long since he was Gaara – he could practically drink away the resistance from her. He tilted her head and placed one last kiss on her lips before leaving them to explore her jaw line. She twisted her hands in his hair as his lips brushed against her pulse, it only served to make him shiver and shower her neck with attention with more purpose. He used one arm to support himself over her and the other to pull her closer. He had been kneeling over her and when he moved his lips back to her, molding them together, she shifted and parted her legs under him.

He didn't have much control over his body as he pressed her to him, relishing in her warmth. Upon feeling her tug him closer and draw her arms around him he parted his lips and swept his tongue over hers. It was too easy to get her to comply really, she was turning out to be just like the beast had hoped; willing and submissive.

She whimpered as he took control over her senses and couldn't help but pull him closer, his body heat was too tempting. It made the air feel cold and harsh but his warmth was like a fire in the winter; so warm and comforting. He had moved over her when she moved her legs to get more comfortable and she only wanted him closer. Sakura pulled her brow together and her features twisted into an expression that Gaara had never seen happen because of him. He didn't know what she was thinking per say, but she was damn good looking. Her cheeks flushed with heat and seeing her react just like he had wanted fed not only his desire, but also his ego as well.

He didn't want to stop, he couldn't even imagine stopping, but when she pulled him closer a pain shot through his neck. He winced and she stilled beneath him. He cursed that damn Lee he had fought. He was completely unaccustomed to the type of pain he was feeling, his jaw along with his neck and back ached from the beating he had taken. He had won the match – of course – but his blood still boiled at the thought that he had needed to work for his victory, and now the consequences of his efforts were interrupting what he was doing. He thought vaguely of how he wished he had been able to kill the stupid boy, and how he was going to one way or another.

Sakura's eyes fluttered open as he winced. She had figured he would be sore and hurting after his battle with Lee. She had never seen anything like their fight before; two amazing fighters almost equally matched. Gaara was constantly on the defensive without even trying and Lee was the first person to be fast enough to dodge his sand, and not to mention strong enough to withstand the damage he had taken. What she had seen frightened her, the way she had seen him take pleasure in toying with Lee and watching him squirm tore her heart between wanting Gaara to stay safe and holding her loyalty to the ninja of her home village. But right now, with Gaara here and no one else, she wanted to help him.

She sat up and she could see the displeasure with her movement in his eyes. "Where does it hurt?" she asked in a concerned voice.

Gaara, being ever defiant, insisted that he was fine and tried to claim her lips once again. She allowed him for a moment before pulling back and giving him a stern look.

"I'm serious Gaara," she said trying to keep her voice steady.

"So am I," he stated as he rested his head on her shoulder. There was just a hint of whining in his voice and Sakura had to choke down her giggle.

She let him nuzzle his nose to her shoulder and proceeded to stroke his neck and shoulders, pooling concentrated chakra in her hands and soothing his sore muscles. Gaara sighed; her hands were warm and they soothed his aching neck and shoulders, sending a wave of relaxation down his spine and he could feel it spread out to his nerves. It felt amazing. She smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"That should help for a little while, but you should go and get some rest." Her words were simply meant to look out for him but he had taken it as she wanted him to leave. Upon hearing this he muttered a jumbled mess of disapproving words and only nuzzle closer to her. "Gaara you need some sleep, the final rounds are in a few days and you can't still be like this when you fight." This time he heard the concern in her voice but he also couldn't help but chuckle at her.

"What's so funny?" she demanded as he looked up at her.

"Sakura, I haven't slept in over a year. What makes you think I would start now?"

"What!" she exclaimed. "A year? Why on earth is that?"

Gaara just sighed, back to his old bored looking self. "Because I can't, I can't control him when I do." To make his point he tapped his temples, he could see the understanding creep across her face.

"But, Naruto can sleep. I don't understand…" her voice became small and distant. Gaara only rolled his eyes.
"Some guys have all the luck."

She thought for a moment, unsure of what to say or do. She felt so bad for him, a life of solitude and constant distance from those around him, and on top of it all he couldn't even sleep it all away. He was constantly awake and dealing with the tortures of his life.

"I bet I could think of something," she suggested. There must have been something – somewhere – that she could manipulate to allow him to sleep without his demon taking control of him.

He only scoffed at her. "Good luck." He looked over at her and upon seeing her in thought over his demon couldn't help but give in to his curiosity. "Sakura?"

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. "Yeah?"

He really wanted her to tell him so he figured he might as well try again. "Who told you?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Sakura looked at him for a moment before reflecting back on the events that had taken place. "It said it was a messenger. I was visited in the forest."

'So it sought her out as well,' the demon spoke. 'Ask her why.'

Gaara complied with its wishes and she shrugged. "It told me about you, about what you've done and what you've been through. It said that you needed me for something."

"Have you told anyone about this?"

"Well," she said quietly. "Actually yes. Your sister talked to me a while before your match."

Gaara grumbled under his breath. "Of course it was my sister…"

"She just wanted to make sure I knew what you were, it doesn't matter really," she urged, trying not to get him upset with Temari.

"And why exactly does it not matter?" he asked, his rising temper was evident in his voice.

"Because the spirit, or whatever it was, beat her to the punch. The cat was already out of the bag by the time she talked to me. How did she find out about you seeing me anyway?" she asked curiously.

"I told her," he said simply.

"Oh," she said quietly. "What, uh, what did she say?"

"Nothing much, just a lot of normal older sister things." He thought about his words and decided to choose them better. "At least what I would imagine is normal sister behavior."

Sakura thought for a moment over the conversation she had with Temari. She didn't come right out with her feelings but you could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice; she loved Gaara. It was heartbreaking to know that he didn't see it. She was proud of him and knew that he had great power and strength. Sakura could see it too. He had so much potential, so much that he could offer to the world if he could only learn to accept others they way that he had wanted them to as a child. If he could just learn to forgive the world of its faults than he could be one of the Greats. She just knew it.

Leaning over she rested her head on Gaara's shoulder, she felt him stiffen, but he didn't seem to want her to move away. It was a start. She moved and pushed him over, wrapping her harms around his torso and resting her head on his stomach. Gaara had slouched back on her bed and watched as Sakura squirmed to get comfortable. She snuggled her cheek to his chest and sighed as she relaxed. He rested his hand on her shoulder and stroked his thumb against her skin.

"Hey Gaara?" she mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Did you want to stay here tonight?"

He didn't answer right away but he knew he couldn't say no when she was the first person to touch him, the first person to break through the wall the he had put up around himself, the wall that others had helped him build. He hadn't noticed how much she affected him right away, but then again it's not like he tried to stop it once he found out either, he enjoyed getting to bother her and taunt her and still have her chose to be around him. It was much more fun than he had anticipated. He let her sink her way under his skin and make a home in his mind, and a very generous portion of him didn't really give a damn. He ran his fingers through her hair and spoke quietly. "When would I have to leave?"

She shrugged. "My parents go to work early tomorrow so if you don't want them possibly finding you here than probably early. But-" she looked up at him for a moment. "You could come back if you wanted. I don't have anything to do all day."

"I'll come back."

"Promise?" she asked with a playful tone. He nodded and leaned down to capture her lips, locking them in a light and slow kiss. She smiled as she rested her head against his chest once again. "Okay, that'll be nice."

Gaara watched as Sakura dozed off, her voice becoming quiet and more distant, her body gaining the weight of sleepiness and fatigue. He wished he could go to sleep with her and wake up to her face and have her smile at him as he greeted her in the morning. But no, he could never have that. He could only sit where he was and wait for her to wake. He watched her sleep in fascination and confusion; she had put down all her defenses after seeing what he could do, after being told what he was, and chose to be around him in her unprotected state of slumber. He had to laugh at his thoughts, she wasn't unprotected per say, if anyone tried to touch her they would meet a very gruesome and painful end.

….

Outside, hiding in the seclusion of the trees, a masked man watched over Sakura's house. He had seen Gaara enter her house and had been waiting for him to leave; he never did. He had been instructed to follow Gaara after his numerous nights of absence from his apartment. His teacher had wanted to know where he was going, he wanted to know what he was doing and who he may very well be killing. The masked man was shocked to see him go to one of the villages' weaker ninja, and woman no less.

'This isn't good,' he thought. 'Lord Kazekage will not be pleased with his boys' behavior.' The man sprung forth and raced through the streets back to his commander. He was going to need to prepare himself to take out the girl, if Gaara had been seeing her this whole time, he was going to be very upset to find out that she needed to be taken care of. There could be no threats to their mission.

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