I do not own twilight! All belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

Here's Chapter 28. Enjoy reading :DD The title of this chapter is sort of inspired by one of my favorite Coldplay songs. If you've never heard of Coldplay or if you haven't heard the song. I recommend checking them out on YouTube ;)

Much Love,

~Dazzler 916~

Chapter 28

Fix You

(Ella's P.O.V.)

Darkness...

Darkness is the only thing that has managed to bring me comfort.
Darkness is the only thing that I can rely on.
Darkness is what keeps the light from coming into my room.

Darkness is my friend.

Darkness became my friend the minute I figured out he was dead.

Having Randy not here is what changed everything.

I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to tell him how much he meant to me.
I never got to tell him how sorry I was for treating him like crap when I first met him.
I never got to thank him for being such a great friend.

I never got to thank him for listening.

Staying in the hospital for an extra three days felt like forever.

But since I got home, I haven't left my room. The only time I will take the time to leave my room is when I have to use the bathroom or eat something.

I've lost so much sleep.
I've lost my appetite.

I lost one of the best guy friends a girl could ever ask for.

But here's the worst part...there's nothing I can do about it.

No matter what I do and no matter how hard I try...

Nothing will bring him back.

Nothing

(Chloe's P.O.V.)

I've never her seen like this.

I haven't seen Ella like this since she found out about Sasha going missing.

My best friend is starting to become—no—my best friend is an emotional trainwreck and I am absolutely terrified and I don't want to lose another friend.

Enough drama has happened in these past few weeks.

First the accident with Randy dead and Ella being in a coma, then Cody showing up out of no where, and now it's back to Ella.

She's so behind in school I'm beginning to wonder if she'll be able to graduate.

The first day Ella got home, Seth carried her up to her room because she's too weak to walk and I remember putting my ear up to the door...all you could hear was her crying.

The entire house was so quiet that you could hear her sobs coming from all the way downstairs in the kitchen.

That's how quiet it's been in this house.

When I walked into her room today, she flinched as soon as the light coming from the hallway had hit her eyes and she hid under her covers.

"Close the door. Get that light out of here." She said in a cold tone.

"Sorry," I stepped in and closed the door.

Her room has bed sheets covering the windows. She literally didn't want any light in her room. I swear I almost tripped over the dog.

That's how dark it is in her room. It took me a minute to make it all the way to her bed.

"What do you want?" She snapped.

"I just wanted to talk," I told her.

"Well I don't want to talk."

"I have something for you," I paused to pull a piece of paper out of my pocket. "You're gonna want this." I assured her.

"What is it?"

"Turn on the lights and find out—" I began to say as I reached my hand out towards the lamp right next to her bed.

"NO!" She screamed smacking my hand down.

"Ella—"

"I don't want any light coming in here." She snarled.

Jeez, it's like she's some possessive child who's afraid of the dark except for it's the other way around. She's afraid of the light.

"Randy's mom told me to give this to you." I told her.

"Tell me what it is." Ella demanded in a low voice

"It's a note—his mom said she found in the pocket of his jacket he wore during the night of the crash and the note was addressed to you. I guess it's from him—"

Ella made a very quick movement to turn on the lamp and she squinted her eyes at its brightness. "Give me the note, I want to read it."

I placed it in her hand and she moved her hands ever so quickly just to open it and see what it said.

(Ella's P.O.V.)

Ella,

Never in my life have I ever met someone who is
as kind as you are. Yeah, I know we started off on
the wrong foot (literally) to begin with yet despite
how much I may have gotten on your nerves at
times, you still had a smiled on your face and you
chose to be nice. I've never done any partner dancing
till last year and dancing with you made it so much
easier. You seize to amaze me and everyone else
in that class every time you dance. I think it's
pretty obvious that you're the best—like you already
didn't know ;). But I bet you're probably confused as to
why I even bothered writing you this letter in the
first place.

Here it goes...

I guess you could say it didn't take me long develop
feelings for you . But I really like you
and I just want you to know that even though you
may have a very serious boyfriend who practically hates
my guts as it is. You are the most beautiful person
I have ever met...and I'm not just talking about your
looks. You are beautiful on the inside and the outside.
I know things are tough right now and like I've said
a million times...if you ever need anything at all then
you give me call and I will be there in a heartbeat. Even
though we may not be on the same page when it comes
to our feelings for each other it's nice to know that we
can still be friends. Best friends. So look, I know you
and Seth are having some problems with this whole
baby situation but I can assure no matter what happens
he's not going to leave you. Why would he? You're the
best girl a guy could ever ask for and if he does leave you
because of the baby then he's just a stupid jack ass.
Sorry. Either way he's not gonna leave you. He would
never do that. The guy is madly in love with you and
there's no doubt about it. One more thing...I know
that senior year is almost over for the both of us and
even if we never see each other again, please know
that you have greatly impacted my life and I will never
forget you...and don't call me as soon as you finish
reading this. We can talk as long as you want
tomorrow at Pinewood Lake. Funny how I got
you hooked on that place so fast lol.

Well, that's about it. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow,

~Brandon Thomas Matthews III

P.S.
I love you

Two pages.

Two pages, front and back with his hand writing.

Randy's handwriting. I ran my finger tips over the pages several times just I could feel the texture of ever single word he wrote.

He even scribbled in the date at the top of the last page. He wrote it the day of the crash. Lord knows how long he spent writing this but reading what he had to say made me break down in tears. I hugged the pieces of paper to my chest and I cried my heart out once again.

I almost forgot that Chloe was still sitting here right next to me.

"Did you read this before you gave it to me?" I croaked.

"No, I didn't. Randy—"

"Don't say his name." I snapped.

"I'm sorry Ella—" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and looked down at my arms and I pulled my sleeves up to my hands before she could get a closer look. Chloe's eyes widened at the thought of it.

"You're cutting yourself?" She snatched my arms and rolled my sleeve back.

"Shut up no I am not!" She growled.

"Bull shit!" She grabbed my other arm and rolled the sleeve up to reveal more cuts. "There's even more on your left arm. Ella—"

"Don't you even think about telling anyone!" I hissed.

"Ella you need help—"

"No I don't. I'm doing just fine, and I don't need anyone's help. So get out."

"Honestly I hate seeing you like this." She shook her head.

"Just leave." I snarled.

"Ella you know you're not alone. Seth's here. I'm here. Your parents are here. Your brother flew all the way up from California just to come see you...so stop torturing yourself like this and talk to us."

I neatly folded the papers back up and turned my lamp off.

"Leave me alone," I threw the covers back over my head. "Please."

Chloe didn't say anything after that. I could hear her feet stomp out the room and she slammed the door shut. I honestly don't care right now.

I just wanna be left alone. Shortly after Chloe left, I turned the lamp back on and I read the letter again. I read it over and over until I fell asleep.

I wish things could go back to the way they were. But there's no way in hell that's going to happen. Now it's just me.

Wonder who's going to be my new partner once I start dancing again...well that's if I ever start dancing again.

My Auditions have been moved to May which buys me more time but I don't think I'll be ready by then. To be honest I'm not sure if i'll start dancing anytime soon.

Nothing seems to matter anymore.

Well at least I'm still breathing.

(Seth's P.O.V.)

I thought the torture ended as soon as she woke up, but it's just getting started. My imprint is a mess. I'm doing everything I can to help her and it's still not enough.

That doesn't mean I'm giving up.

I've never seen her in mourning before, so this is sort of new to me. I didn't think she was going to be so destructive. Ella's locked herself in her room and she won't even open the windows to let the light in.

None of us don't know what to do.

She's shut herself down and she won't let anyone in. I've only seen her once, since she got home from the hospital. Now she won't even answer my phone calls...actually she hasn't answered to anyone. I know several people who have tried to call her and all they get is her voice mail.

I'm so scared.

I don't know what to do anymore. I love this girl to death and it's like she doesn't know what she does affects me greatly.

I feel her pain.
I feel her sorrow.
She's angry, most of all she's very depressed.

Only God can help us now.

(Chloe's P.O.V.)

I ran out of the house in a panic after seeing what I didn't expect to see.

Ella's been cutting herself.

She's only been home for three days and that's the result. Tiny little cuts all over wrists and she's hiding it from everyone.

I never thought she would do this. She's never been this depressed and now she leaves me no other option. It's nice that my parents bought me a car so I don't have to worry about borrowing anyone's anymore. Nora was at Emily's having a play date with Kayla and I don't have to picker her up until later.

Ella's home alone right now, and it wasn't going to be that way for long. I pulled out my phone and dialed Lucy's number.

Pick up, pick up, pick up!

"Hey hold on a sec, I'm gonna put u on speaker. It's just Me Macy." I heard Lucy say.

"What's goin' on Chloe?" Macy asked me.

"It's an emergency, where are you guys? I'll come pick you up." I said as I started looking around my car for the keys.

"My house—wait what's going on?" Lucy said.

"I just found out that Ella's been cutting herself and she's just really messed up right now. We need to help her before she does something bad—"

"Chloe, stay there. Don't leave the house. Macy has her car. We'll be there in five minutes okay?"

Seth showed up right when I hung up the phone and he ran towards me. He looked worried, and it's probably the reason why he's here. Now something's wrong.

"Why the hell did I just get a text from Ella saying goodbye?" He asked me.

"Wait—what?" I shook my head. The sound of glass breaking came from inside the house and it quickly caught out attention.

"Oh my God." I ran for the front the door and tried to open it, that's when I realized I left my keys on the kitchen table. Shit!

I yanked the door a few times and I even rang the door bell. "Ella open the door!" I yelled in a panic.

She didn't answer. "Chloe what's going on?" Seth asked me.

"I'm not so sure, but if we don't get into this house within the next five minutes then i'm pretty sure your girlfriend is gonna be lying on the floor dead."

We could hear more glass breaking inside the house and we both ran around as fast as we could to the back door and it too was locked.

"Ella!" Seth started banging his fist on the door.

She still didn't answer, but shortly after the sound of more breaking glass had caused us to flinch yet again, she screamed.

Seth had completely lost it and he kicked the door the open. It startled me just a little bit, but I was more worried about Ella than I was about the door.

What I saw made me want throw up.
It's a mess.

Pieces of broken plates all over the floor.

But that's not the worse part...

In the corner of the kitchen by the sink, was a girl who had her body all scrunched up with her knees clinging to her chest and she was rocking back and forth like some possessive child...not to mention the knife she held in her hands.

Her body was shaking all over and her hair was pulled back away from her face into a messy bun yet a few strands of hair still managed to cover her eyes.

And then there was blood. It was all over her forearms and all over her hands. Her cuts were starting to bleed out and it's pretty obvious she had been messing with them since I ran out the house.

She looked absolutely NOTHING like the Ella I've known my whole life.
No...this new Ella is in desperate need of help.

This "new and improved" Ella...is suicidal. End of story.

"Ella," very slowly Seth made his way towards her. One step at a time. "Ella look at me."

"Chloe!"

Suddenly we weren't the only ones in the kitchen anymore. Macy and Lucy had walked in enough to see the horrid scene of Ella's breakdown.

"Oh my God." Lucy whispered.

"Ella—"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Ella screamed at Seth. "Don't you dare come near me or i'll do it." She threatened.

"I won't. I promise. Babe I just want to help you okay? You need help." He told her.

"Help?" She asked him. "Help is the last thing I need right now. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!"

All of us jumped when she yelled at us.

"I never said anything is wrong with you—" Seth tried to tell her but then she cut him short.

"Seth, you may not have said it but I know what you meant. I know exactly what you meant. So what if I do need help—either way I don't want help. This is just how it is whether you like it or not. I know I am mess. And if things couldn't have gotten worse—my God. I lost one of my best friends...and then I lost my baby—so you tell me what the hell am I supposed to do, Go back to school and act like my life isn't going down the drain?"

"I know Ella. I know you're upset, but this...I mean what you're doing to yourself isn't healthy. We're just here to try and help you out. Just put the knife down okay?" Seth tried to reason with her.

"Y'know it's pretty interesting as to how fast a person can take their own life with one little slit right across their neck." Ella starting fiddling with the knife in her hands.

This was way too much for me and I don't like it.

I don't like it one bit.

"Ella don't do this. It's not worth it." Lucy told her.

"Please, it already hurts us as it is seeing you in so much pain—" Macy started to say.

"That's just it. I don't know how to get rid of it. I hate this feeling. I HATE THIS! First the accident and everything else that followed right after it just messed me up and I don't what to do. It's like I can't be fixed." Ella cried helplessly.

"Ella please, let me help you—let me fix you—please." Seth took another step towards her.

"Don't come near me! I'll do it!" She warned him.

"No you won't—"

"What makes you think I won't Seth? Try me." She snarled.

"Because I love you...and if you do this to yourself you know damn well that i'm next. I can't live without you. Ella you have so many great things ahead of you and I made a promise to your father that I would be there. I will always be here for you no matter what. You're not alone. You have me, you have Chloe and Macy and Lucy and tons of other people who love you and want to help you out, and I'm not leaving—no I won't leave until you put knife down and you let us help you. Simple as that." He told her.

With wounds like that on her arms she would definitely need to go to the hospital. He was probably gonna take her to the hospital which is the last place she'll want to be right now.

"Come on..." Seth reached out his hand to her. "We'll help you." He assured her.

She was very hesitant when she pushed the knife away, seeing her like this made me cry. She tried to stand up on her own but she struggled.

She's so ill...so weak.

Before Ella could make another move to try and get up, Seth scooped her up into her arms and she passed out from what I think might be exhaustion.

"We need to get her back to the hospital." He told us.

"My car—I mean I'll drive you there." Macy said.

"I'll have to meet you guys there cause I have to go pick up Nora. You guys ahead. Keep me posted!" I said as they ran outside the front door.

One can only hope something bad doesn't happen again anytime soon.

Haven't we all suffered enough?

(Seth's P.O.V.)

I felt so relieved when the doctor told us that she was okay. The whole way home she just complained about how much she hated getting more stitches and she squeezed my hand as tight as she could the whole time the nurse kept putting needles back into her skin.

I never thought she was going to breakdown, but seeing her like this just breaks my heart. Her parents still weren't home when we got back but she fell asleep in my arms once I got her back into her room.

It was late when her parents came home. Chloe and I spent a good twenty minutes explaining to them what had happen and why some of their plates were in the garbage can.

Ella begged her parents to let me stay and they allowed it.

She fell asleep in my arms. It's been a while since we've been together like this. These next few weeks are going to be hard for her, but I'm going to help her.

I'm going to help her get better.

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I will update soon! Thanks for reading :D

Love,

~Dazzler 916~