Chapter 12
Episode 12 – 'Faith'
"So, don't worry about it, Dad, cause, uh…I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get him better."
As Grace woke, she heard Sam's voice breaking the quiet of the motel room.
"Alright – just wanted you to know."
There was a clatter as his phone hit the table in front of him. Grace levered herself up into a sitting position, scrubbing her hand over her face.
"You were talking to your Dad?" she asked, her voice still rough with sleep.
Sam turned to look at her. "Just leaving a message," he was silent for a moment, watching her closely, before he added. "You ok?"
"Yeah, fine," Grace's eyes were still shut as she continued to wake up. When the light stopped feeling impossibly bright she looked up and round the room. "Where's Dean?" she asked, her gaze coming back to rest on Sam.
His expression immediately changed; apprehension with an underlying impression of fear. Grace knew immediately that there would be no good explanation for Dean's absence; there was no chance that he had gone to get food, or even to research a case. She swung her legs around until she was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing Sam.
"Sam? What's happened?"
He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, unable to watch her face as he broke the news.
"There was an accident. At the end of the last hunt. And Dean got hurt, he was electrocuted and it damaged his heart. He's in hospital."
The sentences came out jerkily, as if Sam couldn't fully process what had happened. He was silent for a long minute before finally looking up. Grace was frozen in place and staring back at him.
"The doctors say there's nothing they can do. They say Dean's going to die."
Grace continued to stare at him, feeling as though her stomach had fallen away, her breathing growing quicker, but still unable to move. Her knuckles began to show white where her hands were clutching at her knees. Sam reached a hand forward to her shoulder.
"Grace," he said softly but couldn't think of anything else to say.
Finally, she shook her head. "No," she told him. "There has to be something, something they can do."
It was Sam's turn to shake his head. "They said his heart is too damaged," he said quietly. "But we're gonna try, ok, Grace? Me and you, we'll find a way, alright?"
Grace nodded, but even as she did so, trying to believe Sam's words, two tears slipped down her cheeks, more following quickly in their wake. Sam moved his hand from her shoulder so it wrapped round her back and went to sit next to her. Grace's head sank onto his chest and her hands grasped tightly to his shirt as her body was wracked with choking sobs. Sam's arms held firmly onto her suddenly very small form and he dropped a kiss onto her hair as his own eyes filled with tears.
Doing without Dean was not an option for either of them.
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When there was a knock at the door, Sam had just finished on the phone with John's friend, Joshua, who managed to offer something akin to hope, and Grace was in the shower, trying to scrub the tear stains from her face.
Sam opened the door warily; keeping a foot behind it to make sure it couldn't be opened any more than a few inches. He relaxed immediately when he saw who was standing there though, looking ill and broken, huddled in a hooded sweatshirt.
"Dean!" he exclaimed, surprise. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I checked myself out," his brother replied shuffling slowly into the room.
"What? Are you crazy?" Sam demanded moving to help him in.
"Well, I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean replied and Sam managed to laugh as he shut the door, casting a quick look outside first, just to check there was nothing there.
The bathroom door opened and Grace stood silhouetted in the frame for a moment, still wet from her shower and dressed only in a towel. After a split second she was across the room and hugging Dean, much more ferociously than was sensible for a man with a worn out heart who was unsteady on his pins. He managed to get one arm round her though and smile at Sam over her head.
"That's it, I'm dying more often. Soaking wet girls in towels never throw themselves at you when you're perfectly healthy."
Sam couldn't help but smile in return and went to sit down on the bed, as Grace pulled back, sweeping a hand over the damp patch her hair had made on Dean's shoulder, trying to brush it away. She transferred it to his elbow as he began to walk to a chair and helped him sit down on it, before remembering she was in a towel and returning to the bathroom with slightly pink cheeks.
Dean grinned at Sam, but his brother's expression sobered him quickly.
"You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing?" Sam asked and Dean raised an eyebrow in return. "It's crap. I can see right through it."
Dean sighed. "Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me."
"I've been scouring the internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal."
"For what?" Dean asked, raising his eyes to meet Grace's as she emerged from the bathroom again, fully dressed this time, and came to sit down on her bed.
"For a way to help you," Sam told him, shifting slightly so he could see Grace as well, she didn't look too upset, but she hadn't said anything yet either. "One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist."
Dean stared steadily at him for a moment and said, "You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?"
Sam smiled back. "I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going."
His brother sighed again and turned to Grace. It only took one glance, however, to see that she was firmly on Sam's side.
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The drive to Nebraska wasn't a comfortable one for any of them. Sam was at the wheel the whole way, indicating how bad Dean was actually feeling, however little he tried to show it.
Grace refused Sam's offers to let her drive, not feeling like she would be able to concentrate on the road. In fact, her eyes barely left the back of Dean's head, as if she thought that if she looked away he would somehow disappear. Every time he shifted in his seat, she moved forward, anxious to help if she could, or possibly just plain anxious. And freaked out and worried and scared.
Dean tolerated it for the first few hours of the journey before he snapped. Ordering her to stop hovering because it was driving him up the wall and couldn't she just go to sleep or something?
After that she toned down her reactions to his every movement, but she didn't go to sleep.
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When they reached the place where miracles were supposedly happening in Nebraska, it didn't look like much. Where they parked was nothing more than a field, covered with mud, and making their slow and painful way across it towards a marquee were many sick people. Really sick.
Getting out of the car Grace noticed a sign that proclaimed 'The Church of Roy LeGrange. Faith Healer. Witness the Miracle'. If that was who they were hear to see Dean was not going to be happy.
She turned back to the Impala to see Sam was trying to help Dean out of the passenger seat.
"I got you," he told his brother, a strong arm going around his back. Dean couldn't help the grunt of pain but he shrugged his brother off all the same.
"I got it," he told Sam, scowling at the sign. "Man, you are a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor."
Grace had been right, Dean was pissed. But that was fine, as far as she was concerned. If this faith healer guy could really heal people, heal Dean; it was definitely worth him being pissed at them for a while.
"I believe I said a specialist," Sam contradicted his brother as all three of them began to walk towards the tent. "Look, Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal."
"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent," Dean bitched, casting an angry look around the place.
Grace shot him a look over her shoulder as she led the way towards the tent. She didn't think that Dean would stand much of a chance of being healed if he was so vocal about his doubts.
"I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer?" Dean continued, ignoring her.
"Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean."
"Grace?" he asked, turning to her and almost pleading with his eyes. There was no way he was going to be able to change her mind on this one though.
She shrugged. "I reckon it's worth a try," she told him.
Dean stared at her for a moment but she refused to back down.
"How can you be a skeptic?" Sam demanded. "With the things we see every day?"
"Exactly," Dean replied, turning back to his brother. "We see them, we know they're real."
"But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too?" Sam argued back. Grace was already beginning to tune them out, the only thing to do when they got like this was to let them fight it out. She knew that Sam wouldn't let himself be overruled on this and that was all that mattered.
"Because I've seen what evil does to good people."
"Maybe god works in mysterious ways."
The new voice joining the argument reclaimed Grace's attention from contemplating the congregation. The woman who had spoken was young and blonde and she certainly didn't look sick, although that was really no indication. Dean was smiling at her.
"Maybe he does," he said, gesturing an about turn with his hand. "I think you just turned me around on the subject."
The woman laughed in response to the obvious chat up line.
"Yeah, I'm sure," she told him, still smiling.
Dean held out his hand. "I'm Dean. This is Sam and that's Grace."
"Layla," she replied reaching out to shake his hand and smiling at the other two. "So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"
"Well, apparently my brother believes enough for all of us," Dean replied, the hard look returning to his face. Still angry then.
An older woman came up to fetch Layla and they said their goodbyes.
"Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways," Dean remarked, watching Layla walk into the tent. Sam smiled and Grace rolled their eyes as they followed the rest of the congregation inside.
Most of the seats were already taken by that time and Dean began to head towards a group of seats at the back. Sam caught his elbow, however, and gestured towards the front.
"Come on."
"What are you doing?" Dean demanded. "Let's sit here."
"We're sitting up front," Sam replied, implacable. Grace made her way down the aisle, taking a seat herself and resting a hand on the backs of the two spare chairs in front of her, reserving them for the boys. Turning to look back down the tent she saw Dean once again shake Sam's guiding hand off his shoulder.
They sat as Roy LeGrange took the stage, Sam insisting Dean sat in the aisle chair.
"Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news," LeGrange began, instantly quietening his audience. "Never seems good, does it?" he asked and there were murmurs of agreement in the crowd around them. Grace glanced around and saw that nearly everyone there had his or her eyes fixed on the preacher. "Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act." Another low rumble of acquiescence sounded from the congregation.
Dean screwed around in his seat to raise an eyebrow at her, she shrugged again. She really wasn't sure about this whole healing by faith thing, but she was ready to try anything that could even possibly help at this point. As he turned back round to face the front, Grace reached a hand out to rest on the back of his chair again, fingertips just brushing the back of his jacket. If she was touching him he couldn't leave, nothing could happen to him. And she was so scared of that. It was worth him getting irritated with her, or teasing her, if she had that reassurance in exchange.
"But, I say to you," LeGrange was still speaking. "God is watching. God rewards the good, and he punishes the corrupt." The agreement coming from the people around her was louder this time, apparently this crowd were fans of the punishment, believing that they were the ones who would be rewarded and, thought Grace glancing around, who knew? They may well be rewarded.
"Who does the healing here, friends? The lord, who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts."
Dean leant towards Sam and muttered, "Yeah, or into their wallets", under the cover of the congregation's murmurs.
The preacher's head came up. "You think so, young man?" he asked and the crowd fell immediately silent.
Dean glanced around in embarrassment. "Sorry," he called out.
"No, no. Don't be," LeGrange replied. "Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears."
The congregation laughed and Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat, nodding in acknowledgement.
"What's your name, son?"
"Dean," he replied after some hesitation.
"Dean," LeGrange repeated, seemingly weighing it for a moment, considering. "I want – I want you to come up here with me."
The congregation began to applaud and Sue Ann stepped forward to extend a welcoming hand to Dean.
He shot a quick look towards Sam before shaking his head and calling, "No, that's ok."
"What are you doing?" Sam demanded in an undertone.
"You've come here to be healed, haven't you?" LeGrange asked.
Dean shot another look towards Sam. "Well, yeah, but – " the cheers of the crowd interrupted him and he had to raise his voice to be heard. "Maybe you should just pick someone else."
"Dean!" Grace protested from behind, prodding him in the back. He shot her a look, he really didn't want this.
"Oh, no, I didn't pick you, Dean," LeGrange replied tolerantly. "The lord did."
That silenced Dean and he closed his mouth abruptly. The encouragement from the crowd, Sam's hissed instructions and Grace pushing him from behind forced him to his feet and he walked reluctantly up to the stage.
LeGrange smiled at him. "You ready?" he asked.
Dean glanced back Sam and Grace in the crowd before turning to the reverend. "Look, no disrespect, but I'm not exactly a believer."
His smile broadened. "You will be, son. You will be," he turned towards the congregation. "Pray with me, friends."
He reached forward and laid one hand on his shoulder and Dean glanced towards it nervously. Sam sat forward in his seat and Grace's hand reached forward to grab onto the sleeve of his jacket of its own violation.
The congregation around them had lifted their arms and joined hands, a low murmur of prayer filling the tent.
Dean swayed where he stood, his eyes rolling back slightly into his head before closing completely as he sank to his knees. LeGrange increased the pressure he was putting on his shoulder slightly and Dean collapsed to the floor.
"Dean!" Sam exclaimed through the crowd's cheers and rushed up to the stage, Grace on his heels after she disentangled her legs from the chair in front.
Sam grasped hold of his brother's shoulders and shook him slightly. With a gasping breath, Dean shot awake. Sam shook him again. "Say something," he instructed.
Dean wasn't looking at him though, but past him and past Grace who was holding onto his right knee tightly, to a space in the air behind the reverend, his weary eyes widening in shock.
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They took him to be checked over at a nearby hospital, overriding all his protests. The Doctor had performed some tests and was off getting the results. Dean sat on the edge of the examination bed, Sam was pacing the room and Grace sat in one of the uncomfortable hospital seats, sitting on her hands to stop her checking on Dean. He was frustrated enough as it was.
"So, you really feel okay?" Sam asked again.
"I feel fine, Sam." Dean replied, with much less patience than he had answered with the first dozen times.
The Doctor reentered the room, eyes on the paperwork in her hands, and Grace jumped to her feet to go and stand by the two boys. She had faced some questions about being a family member when they first arrived, but she had insisted that she was without being specific about the details and they hadn't been able to turn her away. She had to know that he was ok.
"Well, according to all your tests, there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was." The Doctor told them.
Sam's face flooded with happiness and relief, while Dean continued to look skeptical. Grace suddenly felt light headed and had to go and sit down again, allowing herself time to get used to the fact that Dean was fine. He wasn't going to die. There was nothing wrong with him, he was fine, everything was going to be fine.
She took a couple of deep breaths, barely registering what the others were saying or the fact that Dean's sudden change in tone indicated that he had discovered something strange, as in supernatural strange.
She only managed to snap out of it as Sam and Dean got up to leave the room after Dean was fully discharged. She heard Dean instruct Sam to go and check out the "heart attack guy", which she had to admit piqued her interest, while he visited the reverend again. Grace knew exactly which trip she would be tagging along on, there was no way she was letting Dean go wandering off on his own for the next couple of days, not matter how irritating he found it.
When they dropped Sam off at the swimming pool where heart attack guy had had his heart attack, Grace climbed into the front seat for the rest of the drive. Despite her best efforts, the looks that she darted in Dean's direction every few seconds to check on him were not at all subtle and after a couple of minutes of just putting up with it he turned towards her.
"You want to ask if I'm ok?" he offered, with admirably limited impatience.
She smiled. "No," she told him, her smile deepening, and moved further down in the seat, resting her head against the back and relaxing properly for the first time in days, since she had found out about the accident. Within minutes she was sound asleep.
He shot her a few looks as he continued the drive, trying to decide whether it was coincidence that her hand had fallen on the seat so it was just touching his leg. He doubted it, but came to the conclusion that he didn't really mind. If he had gone through a scare like that with Grace or Sam he wouldn't want them out of touching distance either.
Not that he was going to let it carry on indefinitely.
A/N: So, not entirely sure about this one but I have been toying around with it for weeks and there was no way I could miss the episode out - it's too important. So I just had to post the damn thing. Let me know what you think and apologies if you hate it. At least it's a long chapter right? Or that might be a bad thing...