AAARGH IT'S BEEN SO LONG! My apologies for my prolonged absence. Everything built up, all my responsibilities and chores, and I felt like I had too much! So I've been doing a little bit of this when I can and have finally completed chapter 19. Please don't expect another chapter for up to a month, as I have to write for another story too. So this is it guys; more plotlines on the way!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Song: Gotye: Heart's a Mess

Haunt me Chapter 19

"I can't be with child! What would my father say?!" I cried, the foreign monitor beside me accelerating. He looked hurt for a moment, before his gaze turned icy.

"I am sorry that you're pregnant, it was a huge mistake." He spat. I flinched at his harsh words, cutting into me like the knife I wielded how ever many days it was ago.

"Chastity is a big issue on Asgard, Loki- you know that. At least I am pregnant with your child and not someone else's." I murmured, stroking my stomach.

"I thought that pregnancies can't be tested for a few weeks?"

"We are not the same as Midgardians. We are advanced, remember?" I nodded as I recalled this.

"I know." My voice broke as I whispered in hushed tones.

"The child. It will be a semi-Jotun." He worried.

"I know." I repeated, holding back tears. How could I have let this happen?

"It could kill you." I know, I thought.

"I am prepared to take the risk." I whispered determinedly. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. The whole of Asgard may look down on me in scorn and disgust, but the child is ours, and that's all that matters." Loki's gaze softened for the first time since he spat, and I was relieved.

"Does this mean we should marry?" I froze at the question, heart thumping erratically.

"I don't think either of us are ready yet." I responded quietly, avoiding eye contact. He nodded sullenly.

"That doesn't mean it is a permanent non-option, Loki." I laughed. He smiled faintly.

"There is so much at stake. The baby will require special attention."

"An Asgardian healer." I responded.

"Exactly- I have no idea as to acquiring one of those here."

"How about we just focus on the current time for now?" I tried. He nodded in agreement and made to stand up. I put a hand gingerly on his arm.

"Do you want this child, Loki?" I wasn't sure why I asked the question, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to know the answer. There wasn't a moment's hesitation. "Of course I want this child Sigyn. It's ours. I am… anxious. In time I'll come to terms with this. For now, we should continue as usual." My relief was short-lived- he still looked displeased. "What's wrong now?" I pressed, leaning my head forward in agitation.

He shook his head in response. "Why would you decide to just start slashing at yourself repeatedly?" I responded with a sigh, realising that the only option would be to tell him.

"After I was forced to… not see you, I began to suffer. My mind would turn my vision dark and I would have wild fits of anger. Most of these… outbursts were non-violent, but on occasion I would lash out." He looked horrified.

"They became less frequent over time, until eventually they stopped altogether. That one must have been triggered by the thoughts of betrayal. Betrayal is obviously the trigger." My finger traced my lips absent-mindedly.

"Perhaps you should place an enchantment that will stop it," Loki suggested quietly. "It would help."

I shook my head. "No. No more magic." Loki's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I want to know that I can do something on my own without relying on magic." I explained.

"Look, just concentrate on recovering. I imagine you'll receive visitors throughout the day. I'll be by your side. Try and sleep." He sat back down in the chair placed beside my pillow, and gingerly stroked my hair. Comforted slightly, I lay back in the pillow. Closing my eyes, the last thing I saw was Loki peering into my eyes, searching.

"Hey sleeping beauty, wake the fuck up," were the first words I heard when I woke up. It wouldn't have been so bad had it been Loki the words had been uttered from, except it was Tony, standing at the foot of my bed, arms crossed and a frown etched on his face.

"A kind greeting would suffice." I grumbled as I opened my eyes properly.

"Well, I'll greet you properly when you stop trying to kill yourself." He retorted. I rolled my eyes at the sheer melodrama; typical Tony. "I suppose I ought to explain that." I stared past him to the door; there stood Steve and Bruce. I smiled in delight, and their grave expressions turned to one of delight.

"Who would have known that I would miss you as much as I do?" I sang jokingly. Bruce's stubble made him look suddenly very masculine, his appearance stirring something in my mind. I shook it away impatiently as I looked around for him. I didn't have to search long, for he sat in the corner looking morose and self-pitying; an expression I had seen him use far too much. However, I ignored him and focused on Bruce who was talking to me.

"The whole group worried; we feared the worst." I nodded my head in understanding- it made perfect sense. From what I had heard, I had slashed freely with gay abandon. It was not nonsensical for them to assume I was dead. Not wishing to sound silent, I replied quickly, "Perfectly understandable. I am not dead, you may rejoice!" I threw my hands up and then hissed in pain and brought it back down. Loki's eyes snapped up and his fingers twitched. I shook my head ever so slightly to assure him without causing a fuss. He visibly relaxed, but he continued to frown worriedly from his corner he undoubtedly claimed his "throne".

The faint click of shoes on the polished floor alerted me to Natasha's entrance. I beamed at her when she entered, but my smile froze when I saw the large purple bruise dominating her nose and rims of both eyes. Her lips were cracked with scars, most not fresh, but a few still wept scarlet. Shocked, I greeted her with what could possibly be considered an insult.

"Tasha… you look dreadful." She rolled her eyes (accompanied with a rather un-fetching wince) and responded sharply. "You don't look too good yourself." Behind her strolled Barton, beaming directly at me wearing his tinted spectacles. I couldn't conceal a grin at the sight of him; his arms swung by his side, making him look childlike and innocent.

"Hello arrowpoint." I said, still grinning. He flicked his head up and clucked before squeezing Natasha's arm comfortingly. She turned her head to him slightly but did not turn to look at him.

I commented further on her bruises. "I am certain your missions get more violent each time." She nodded in agreement before walking out of the room abruptly again. I shook my head in disappointment. I had not expected her visit at all, never mind how brief it was to be. Clint stayed a moment longer, staring in my direction before he followed her. It seemed like he followed her everywhere. "Where is Fury?" I asked suddenly, making Steve jump in fright. Since I had glanced around the room, everyone had found their positions. Steve, Tony and Bruce sat in seats by my bedside opposite Loki. Tony looked considerably happier, sat beside Steve who laughed at his remarks and jokes. Bruce was frowning at the floor, deep in thought. I tilted my head playfully, pouting. I was elated that the pain had subsided and I was surrounded by people I liked. I was too happy to dwell on the miserable creature that sat in the corner glaring at everyone.

"He's elsewhere for the time being." Bruce responded, his eyes calm as he stared at me.

The tone Bruce used in his response was unsettling. "Has something happened? Why do you all tense so?" I tilted my head to display confusion, hoping to convey that I was interested and willing to help. Loki laughed mockingly in the corner, and I shot him a warning glare.

"It involves Natasha." Steve hesitated, staring intently at the floor. My eyes widened; I adored Natasha, and the thought of her being in someway damaged or affected by something was a thought I hated to tolerate.

"What exactly do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"Natasha was sent off on a mission by a force outside of SHIELD's control. I'll tell you more, but I need to warn you it's a long story." Steve continued.

"I'm willing to listen."

"An outside force recruited Natasha for a seemingly irresistible mission involving confronting a group of ragtag rule benders. It seems that this group had some emotional connection to her, as she was far too willing to get involved."

"That was her mistake." Tony interjected, before gesturing to Steve to proceed.

"Yes. She had been gone for a day and a half, and Barton was concerned for her safety, as she had left before briefing and accepting back up. He went on a mission to find her, aided by several hundred spare SHIELD agents.

Barton found her, bruised and wounded severely on the floor, on the verge of death apparently; although we all know Barton is prone to melodrama. She was taken to intensive care, patched up and let loose on the world." Shocked, my hands shook as they covered my mouth.

"Did she take anyone down?"

"She managed to miraculously destroy three of the seven men. They treated her brutally- I dare not say what they did as it's not my place to."

"You're right." Steve and Bruce jumped out of their seats, and my heart skipped a beat; I never intended for Natasha to feel like her own transactions were not private.

"Natasha, please forgive me. I was allowing Sigyn to catch up to speed with the rest of us."

"I didn't mean to intrude." I tried to help, my expression hopeful. She nodded slowly, shooting me a steely gaze before leaving the room, her arms crossed. My heart was wrapped in so much guilt I couldn't bring myself to look up, so I settled for staring morosely at my hands.

"Hey chick, don't feel bad. She's just pissed off at the moment, and with good reason. Give her time." Tony comforted me before clonking out of the room in his heavy leather clad boots. Bruce nodded awkwardly at me before following in Tony's heavy footsteps. Steve bowed his head and left quietly, looking over his shoulder suspiciously to look at Loki twice. I sighed tiredly, flumping back into the pillows and bed. I glanced at Loki; he didn't look pleased.

"You're worried." He said. I couldn't bring myself to say anything worthy, so I settled with "Excellent observation," and hoped he'd leave me to sleep. I was tired and needed some time to digest all that had been said to me.

"You're tired." He responded simply. I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.

"If you have nothing further to contribute, I'd very much like to gain some sleep." I grumbled. A simple chuckle far closer to my ear than it should be made me jump, and then it was impossible silence. Yet I knew he was somewhere in the room and I could sense it; I could feel his eyes boring into me protectively.

"Why don't you go home?" I slurred, not ungratefully. I was rewarded with another chuckle.

"I want to make sure they don't drug you; you say the most embarrassing things when under the influence of such evil drugs." I giggled at the contempt in his voice over something so mundane and helpful. Naturally, of course Loki would find anything Midgardian beneficial. I smiled as I slipped into darkness, as sleep overwhelmed my soul and enveloped me.

So that's that for a while! Did I go overboard with Tony? He's in a bad mood so that's why he's such a stressy bitch! XD (You go Glen Coco)

Anyways, please R&R with any necessary pointers, it's always appreciated.