Chapter 76
Day Two of Freedom
To the surprise of many in the government, there was a popular backlash to the battle that freed Caprica from Cylon control. Many who had never felt the direct influence of Cavil's actions began email and letter writing campaigns blasting the President and the military for the actions that left so many civilians dead and wounded. Until the day he left office, President Adar's public appearances were attended and sometimes marred by hecklers and protesters.
- Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War
.
On the second morning after the battle above Caprica, Laura stood at the street entrance of the bunker looking out over the city. The old hotel near the Capitol Building that housed the entrance sat on one of the city's hills, and she had as good a view as she could have had gotten anywhere.
The smoke from the many fires that had consumed commercial buildings and homes alike hung wraith-like over them giving the early morning sun a gray and dirty color.
Laura took a deep breath. The smell was of smoke and fire and water. She looked over at Adar standing beside her.
"Dear gods. This is much worse than I imagined. The Cylons did all this with twenty Raiders?"
"Not all of it. We think that more than half of the damage came from fires that spread. Our fire services were overwhelmed. I'm not sure we'll ever know how much was Cylon-caused damage and how much came from the spreading fires."
"How is this being reported in the press?"
"There's a lot of confusion, naturally. I haven't granted any interviews, yet, even though everyone is clamoring for news. Nothing official has been released since yesterday when my office issued the statement that we had destroyed the basestars and reclaimed air space over the planet. I've scheduled a press conference for this evening to speak to the people of Caprica."
"I very much appreciate you allowing Billy to work with your staff. He has accepted the position of my Press Secretary. This will be an invaluable learning experience for him, terrible as it is in all ways."
"I'll do anything I can to help you through this trying time, Laura."
"When do we have our first meeting with the Quorum and Cabinet to discuss everything that has happened?"
"This afternoon at three o'clock. I've asked Admiral Adama to attend and update us on the military situation."
"Kara found Bill's son late yesterday afternoon after he was in the water for almost twelve hours. Lee was dehydrated and his face is badly sunburned. His worst injury is a broken leg. Other than that, he's fine."
"Have you spoken with John's…your daughter?"
"Very briefly last night. I took advantage of your kind offer of the communication room in the bunker and had them put through a call to the rescue ship. Kara was in the Raptor that found Lee. She's with him now. She's fine. She still thinks her father's ship is out there somewhere. She told me not to give up hope."
"Poor girl. I'm so sorry, Laura. I can't tell you enough times how sorry I am."
"I would like to go home and get some clothes. Then I would like to go to the hospital and see my doorman. He was shot by centurions…two nights ago…when Cavil tried to take my son." She took a deep breath. "I called this morning. He's still alive, but of course the hospital won't give me any information on his condition."
"I'd prefer that you not try to go out into the city right now. There's been some sporadic looting in areas adjacent to the fire damage. I can't talk you out of this, can I?"
"Was there any damage in the historic district?"
"No."
"Then I'd like to go. I won't be gone long."
"You'll have my special car and several of my best guards plus some Marines in front and behind the car."
"Thank you. Did any of our hospitals suffer damage?"
"Not from the Cylons. They're just overwhelmed right now. I understand that King's Bay Medical Center is still triaging patients on the sidewalk outside the ER. Every hospital in a two hundred mile radius has implemented their disaster plans. The least injured victims are being transported to the outlying facilities. Every available person has been called in to work. For the most part the people of Caprica are rallying to the disaster."
"Perhaps this would not be a good time to go visit a hospital."
"I think you should wait. The area around the medical centers and hospitals are still chaotic. After the injured are taken care of, then we'll visit them together to show our appreciation and support."
"How much longer will we be in the bunker?"
"We'll move back to Marble House tomorrow. My security detail thinks it will be safe. Do you still want three rooms?"
"Yes. One for me and another for my nanny and my son. And Kara, although she may not want to move. She may want to stay at the apartment. She's eighteen now. Technically I can't force her to move."
"We'll designate a room for her anyway. I'll make sure it's near yours and your son's rooms."
"Thank you."
"Laura, if there's anything I can do, anything at all, please, let me know."
"In several weeks when things have settled down, I'd like to plan a memorial service for John…not a state occasion…something private and yet befitting his sacrifice…" she began to tear up and couldn't continue.
"Of course." Adar put his arm gently around her shoulder. "You should take some time, Laura. I know you need some time to mourn."
Laura took a deep breath and got herself together. "I need to stay busy. That's the only thing keeping me sane right now."
She knew that if she stopped, she would fall apart completely. She had to keep going. There was so much to do. The people of Caprica needed strength and unity in their leaders. She would not wear her grief for everyone to see. There were many others on Caprica who would be sharing a similar grief, the loss of a husband or wife or child or siblings or friends. She would keep her pain for the private moments, for her family and others closest to her. She would see Kara soon. She would see her daughter and they would grieve together.
…
"I don't need a damned wheelchair," Lee said angrily to Kara. "I can walk."
"You can't walk. You heard the doctor. No weight on the leg yet. I don't care if it is in a cast. How far do you think you can get hopping on one leg?"
"I've got the crutches."
"Lee, it's a long way to the vehicle. Sit down in the wheelchair."
Kara glanced at the medical corpsman who stood beside the wheelchair, his face impassive, waiting to see which one of them won the argument.
"Oh, great," Lee said in exasperation. "Here comes Major Parker."
Kara looked up to see a slender, sandy-haired man striding swiftly across the tarmac. "Your father must have sent him to meet us."
"I knew he would be too busy to come himself."
Major Parker reached them. "Hello, sir," she said.
"You must be Kara." He extended his hand. "Brandon Parker. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Hello, Lee. Your father asked me to stand in for him and ride with you to the hospital to see if I can expedite things. It's still chaos at all the hospitals. The admiral is meeting with the President and the Quorum this afternoon."
"Sir," Kara said and pointed to the wheelchair, "Maybe you can convince Lee to ride."
Parker smiled at Lee. "If you don't, I will."
Lee knew when he was outnumbered. Without another word he handed the crutches to Kara and sat in the wheelchair. The corpsman adjusted the leg support so that his right leg was held straight.
"I'm not going to the hospital," Lee said. "I'm going to my apartment."
"Lee…" Kara started.
"No. I'm fine. The doctor on the Posiden told me to follow up with a doctor on base. He did not tell me I needed to be hospitalized. He told me to get plenty of liquids and rest and see a base doctor on Monday."
"And stay off the leg."
"And stay off the leg," Lee echoed. "That's what I'm going to do."
"Let's go then," Kara said.
She walked beside the wheelchair on one side. Parker walked on the other.
"Have things calmed down in the city?" Lee asked.
"There are a few fires still burning," Parker answered, "but most are under control. The Marines are still engaging the centurions in the northwest sector of the city, but it's less chaotic than it was this morning. We should have everything locked down by tomorrow. The last of the centurions will be destroyed."
"What about the skinjobs?" Lee asked.
"In prison at a secret location."
"We saw the smoke as we were coming in to land," Kara said. It looks like some parts of the city were hit hard."
"Between the Raiders that got through and the fires that burned out of control, there was a lot of damage. A lot of lives lost. A lot of civilians injured."
"There were too many Raiders," Kara said. "We couldn't stop them all."
"We're just grateful that you stopped the ones you did."
"How is my father?" Lee asked.
"Running on coffee and adrenalin and sheer guts," Parker said. "I don't think he's slept but a couple of hours since it started. He said to tell you he'd call you after the meeting is over. He wants to see you."
Lee had refused to take any painkillers on the flight back to Caprica City because they made him feel like he was only half aware of his surroundings. Now he was beginning to regret his bravado. With the jostling getting off the helicopter and the bumpy wheelchair ride, his leg was hurting much worse that it had an hour earlier.
They reached the transport vehicle. Lee balanced himself and carefully got out of the wheelchair. Kara handed the crutches to Parker and started to help him.
"I can do it myself," Lee said. The pain echoed in the shortness of his words.
Kara sighed in frustration and stood back. The driver held the back door open. Lee leveraged himself inside and turned sideways so that his encased lower leg was propped on the seat.
"I'll sit up front," Kara said.
Parker put the crutches on the floor of the back seat. "Take it from someone who has had more than one broken bone, you'll be okay. Six to eight weeks and the cast will come off. Three months, a little physical therapy and you should be back in the cockpit, good as new."
Three months! Lee couldn't believe that he would be unable to fly for three months. He was scheduled to take Sadie back to Nereid in a month. His dad might wait two months, but Lee knew he would never wait three. He glanced at Kara and for the first time he realized who would probably be in that Raider when it went back to Nereid. Kara had the experience flying now. She had proven herself in combat, too.
Before Parker shut the door, he said, "Take care of yourself, Lee. Don't try to do too much right away. It's important for you to heal. I don't expect to see you back at work on Monday, either. Not until the doctor releases you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you for meeting us." Lee said. "You can tell my dad I've gone home."
"You'll probably talk to him before I do. I don't think my number will be the first one he calls when he gets out of that meeting." Parker shut the door for him.
Before Kara got into the front seat, she turned to the major. "Has there been any word about my father, sir?"
She got the strange look again. "Not that I'm aware of."
"Okay. Thank you, sir." She got into the front seat.
"We've got to go over to the big Viper hangar," Lee told the driver. "I need to get my billfold and keys and my phone. They're in my locker."
When they got there, Kara opened the door and got out. "I'll go get them," she told him. "You stay here."
"Keep your eyes shut in there," Lee tried to joke, but his words fell flat and humorless.
"If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, don't come looking for me." She also tried to joke, but again, the words held no humor for them.
She went to the women's locker room first and got her mobile phone from the locker she had commandeered. She left the jeans and sweatshirt in the bottom. She would get them later. Right now she didn't want a reminder of what had happened two nights previously.
When she got to the men's locker room, she stood at the door for a few minutes waiting. She didn't hear much going on inside. None of the talking and laughing and joking that usually accompanied pilots changing in or out of their gear. Finally a pilot she didn't know trudged wearily out the door dressed in civilian clothes.
"Is everybody decent? I need to get something out of a locker."
"Women's locker room is down the hall. This is the men's."
"I know. It's not my locker."
"Go ahead," he said.
Kara walked inside and glanced tentatively around. She saw one pilot, barefoot, clad only in jeans, lying on his back on one of the benches. One arm was crooked over his eyes and she couldn't see his face. He appeared to be asleep. Quietly she went to Lee's locker. He had given her the code. She punched it in and opened the door. His keys and billfold were on the top shelf along with his mobile phone. She got them. A picture of the two of them dancing at Laura and John's wedding was taped inside the locker. Kara sucked in her breath at the wave of pain that washed her as she thought of her father still out there somewhere.
She quietly closed the locker door and turned. The pilot lying on the bench was now sitting up. Dwight Saunders.
"Hey, Kara," he said softly. He looked as tired and strung-out as she had the day before. "I heard you found Lee."
"Karl and Sharon found him. I was just along for the ride."
"Is it true she's a Cylon?"
"She's not like the rest of them."
He looked at her skeptically. "She was your roommate. How long have you known?"
Kara shrugged. "That's not important now."
"What's going to happen to her?"
"I don't know. What are you doing here?"
"I've been looking for your father."
"For how long?"
"Twenty-six hours."
Kara closed her eyes as the pain washed her again. With every hour that went by her father's chances of being found alive decreased.
"Quartararo and I shared pilot duties in a Raptor. We took turns catching naps. We didn't have any luck. I'm sorry. None of us did."
"Has the admiral called off the search? Is that why you're back?"
"Not yet. I think Racetrack's out there now with Skulls. Maybe half a dozen others. Colonel Tigh called me and Crash back in and told us to sleep for a couple of hours. We're going back out."
"You need to sleep somewhere other than that bench."
"Yeah. We're going next door to the pilot's on-call room. There's bunks in there."
Quartararo walked naked out of the shower rubbing his head with a towel. Kara immediately averted her eyes. It didn't seem to bother him.
"Hey, Starbuck," he said as he walked to his locker.
She kept her eyes on Flat Tops' face. "I'd better go. Lee's out in a car waiting for me. He broke his leg when he hit the water."
Flat Top stood up. "We heard. I'll walk out with you." Outside the locker room, he put his hand on her shoulder and turned her so that she was facing him.
"Pike didn't make it. Neither did Seelix. I thought you'd want to know."
His words hit her like a blow. "Pike and Seelix," she said in shock. "Both of them?"
"And Chuckles and Nora Farmer from the Galactica. There were others. Those are just the ones we know about."
"Pike and Seelix?" Kara said again. "I just saw her night before last in the locker room. She was with me and Narch out there for a while. Are you sure?"
"Her Viper didn't come back. Neither did Pike's. The base didn't get a distress call from either one of them like they did from Lee. They're not on the G either. Some computer techs are taking all the Viper gun camera footage and putting it together for analysis. Somebody's camera probably recorded…whatever happened to them. Crash and I heard that when things settle down, all the pilots will be debriefed."
Kara tried to absorb the news. Pike and Seelix, two of her classmates. People she knew well. People she'd sat beside in class and at meals. And Duck's girlfriend Nora. Hot Dog and Kat's friend Chuckles. She had flown with all of them. She shook her head as if that would somehow make it not true.
"I didn't like Pike but that doesn't mean I…" she swallowed hard.
Saunders pulled her to him and put his arms around her. Her face was against his bare shoulder. He smelled of soap. The news, coming on top of that about her father was too much at the moment. She accepted the comfort his arms offered her and leaned into him. She couldn't cry. If she started now she felt like she would never stop. Then she realized that it wasn't just him comforting her. He and Seelix had once had a relationship. He needed this as much as she did, the touch of another human that confirms you're both alive. She put her arms around him.
"I'm so sorry," she said softly. "Seelix was wearing makeup and a dress when I saw her in the locker room. Were you two out on a date?"
"Yeah," he whispered.
"We're friends. It's okay to cry, you know."
"When all this is over."
She tightened her arms around him.
She didn't even hear the clumping of Lee's crutches until she heard his voice.
"What's going on?"
His tone wasn't ugly. He didn't even sound angry, but Kara realized how it must have looked to him. Flat Top dropped his arms.
Kara turned and looked at him, and Lee realized from her face that something was wrong.
"We lost some Academy classmates," Saunders said.
"Who?"
"Seelix and Pike…that we know about," Kara answered him. "And Duck's girlfriend, Nora." Sadly she walked over to Lee and held out his billfold and keys. "I got your mobile phone, too."
Lee was too stunned to speak for a moment. He'd seen Seelix and Pike both in the hangar two nights earlier. He knew that pilots had died out there, and yet it didn't seem possible. And Nora. Duck was going to be crushed. He and Nora had planned to get married.
Kara turned to Flat Top. "Thanks…for everything."
"We'll find your father if he's out there."
"I know you will. Go get some sleep. I'll see you later."
He had already turned to go back into the locker room and gave her a small backward wave.
Silently she and Lee walked to the car and Lee once again worked until he got himself into the back seat. He knew there were no words that would make a difference now. Kara hadn't cared much for Pike…and Seelix hadn't been a close friend, but they were still her classmates. They had sat in classrooms together and struggled through exams together. They had bickered and argued and competed for a trophy, but they were still part of her memories of the Academy and Flight School. They were all members of a small and tightly knit fraternity of fighter pilots. He wondered how many of them had been lost.
Lee gave the driver his address. It was time to go home.
…
"Four battlestars suffered serious damage," Bill told the assembled Cabinet and Quorum. "Seven others had minor damage. I'm still waiting on the final figures, but we lost over six hundred crew on the four ships."
"How many pilots?" Tom Zarek asked.
"Four Raptor pilots who were unlucky enough to be out on training maneuvers when the fighting started. The Cylons destroyed them immediately. They never stood a chance. Between the pilots who launched from the airbase and those on the battlestars, we lost fifty-six Viper pilots."
"Those are big losses," Zarek said.
"It could have been a lot worse," Bill answered. "The basestars were destroyed before they could launch all their Raiders, but we were still outnumbered in the beginning almost five to one. Our Vipers prevailed against almost impossible odds."
"Why weren't we notified before you and the military decided to take on the Cylons?" Sarah Porter asked.
"The necessity for keeping this a secret was more important. If we had been able to implement the attack on the date we had originally planned, you would have been notified ahead of time. As it is, after Cavil tried to kidnap the President-elect's son, we took him prisoner. His actions didn't leave us any choice."
Most of the group looked at Laura. "Your son is all right, isn't he?" Porter asked.
"He's fine," Laura answered her. "Unfortunately I lost my husband in the attack."
There was a stunned silence in the room.
Laura very carefully picked up her notepad from the table. She couldn't do this. Not right now. She looked at the President. "I'll let you fill me in later."
With all the dignity she could muster, she stood and walked from the room. She went back to the suite, poured a drink and sat on the couch. The door to the second bedroom was closed. Maya and Braedon were sleeping.
The events of the last two nights and days had finally caught up with her. Laura sat in a near stupor, struggling to grasp everything that had happened to her since election night.
The smell of the room made her think of the days and nights she had spent in this bunker five earlier ago before they had given control of their lives to the Cylons…when she still loved Bill Adama, long before she had met John and conceived a child with him, long before she had come to love him the way she now did.
In some ways those days in the bunker seemed far longer than five years in the past and in some ways much shorter. She closed her eyes. Maybe it was all just a dream. Maybe she would open her eyes and find they were still negotiating with the Cylons.
There was a knock on the door. Bill stood outside.
He looked better today than he had the morning before. His eyes were still tired, his face still drawn, but something of his spirit was back. The crushed and broken man she had witnessed fall apart a day earlier was gone. His son had been returned to him from the dead. He had reason to look relieved.
"The meeting is over?" She asked him.
"My part is. I left. I had no desire to sit there and listen to Adar justify our actions to the Quorum."
He walked to the sideboard and also poured a drink before he began pacing in an agitated way.
"They raised objections to us winning our freedom from the Cylons?" Laura asked in surprise.
"If we'd been able to do it without any civilian casualties, they'd have been singing our praises. What the Quorum is upset about is the heat they'll take from the citizens of Caprica for the loss of life and destruction of property. The fact that they're free for the first time in five years hasn't made much of an impression."
Laura lowered her head.
Bill sat down on the couch beside her. "I'm sorry. I was too blunt."
"No. You're honest."
"I'm going to have to call off the search for John soon. We're running out of places to look. I wanted to tell you first."
"I understand."
He sat for a long time sipping his drink. Finally he said, "You're a believer in the scriptures of Pythia."
"Yes."
"You know I'm not. You know I don't believe in the gods."
"I know."
"In Pythia there is the story of a general, Gordian, who…"
"I know the story," Laura said quickly.
Bill turned up the glass of whiskey. He couldn't look at her. She knew why.
Gordian was a great general who had fought until he unified the twelve tribes on Kobol long before their exodus. But like many great men, Gordian had a weakness. He was in love with the wife of one of his captains, a man the general sent into battle knowing he would be killed.
Bill said, "I need to know if you blame me for John's death, if you think I sent him up there knowing the odds were against him making it back."
"Did you send him up in that ship or did he volunteer?"
"I could have stopped him."
"John volunteered, didn't he?"
"Several months ago he wanted to test the ship to make sure our idea would work. He was never meant to be the pilot for the mission."
"You didn't answer my question. Two nights ago, he volunteered, didn't he?"
"When we couldn't find the pilot who had been training for the mission, yes, John volunteered."
"Then I don't blame you. Months ago I knew he was doing something. He never mentioned exactly what it was, but I knew it involved flying. I could always tell when he'd been up in a ship. He'd come into the apartment and his eyes had a special glow. He told me that he had been out to the base and taken a ship up, that he was keeping his skills sharp. Flying was very important to him."
"Not as important as you and his children. John loved you very much."
"I know he did."
Bill stood. "I'm going to see Lee. He and Kara are back."
"In the morning I'm going to the apartment to get some things before we all move to Marble House. I plan to call Kara. I would like to see her."
"Laura, you should understand that she doesn't believe John is gone. She believes he made it out of that basestar and is still out there somewhere. Be prepared for her to challenge you."
Laura nodded sadly. She walked to the door with Bill. He reached inside the jacket of his uniform tunic and took a letter from the inside pocket. He handed it to her. Laura looked down. She recognized John's handwriting on the front. One word. Her name. Laura
He took her other hand and she saw the pain in his eyes. "If I can do anything…"
She squeezed his hand and then let it go. "I'll let you know," she said politely.
…
The driver of Lee and Kara's car had to detour six blocks from Lee's apartment. Police were wearily motioning everyone around several buildings that had suffered extensive damage. Fire crews were still on the scene. After circling blocks out of the way, the driver still couldn't get them any closer than the subway entrance.
They got out of the vehicle. The sidewalk was dark with soot and ash that had drifted from the fires.
"We can walk from here," Lee said.
They made it as far as Zeno's before he had to stop and rest. The cast on his leg was heavy and he felt clumsy and unsteady on the crutches. He was sweating heavily even in the cold. The pain in his leg made him feel nauseous.
"Zeno's is open," He panted. "You want to get something to eat?"
"You're sweating and you look white even with that sunburn," Kara told him. "You should be in a hospital bed."
"You can forget that. Something to eat at Zeno's or sandwiches at the apartment? Those are our choices. There's no way our pizza place can deliver tonight."
"Zeno's," Kara said.
She held the door for him as he maneuvered inside. His mobile phone chirped. He stopped and reached into the pocket of the sweatpants he'd been given on board the Posiden.
The conversation was mostly monosyllables and Kara couldn't tell who it was. When Lee ended the call, he hobbled carefully until they were nearer the back of the pub. They sat at a table so Lee could prop his leg on a chair. He blotted his forehead with his sweatshirt sleeve.
"Okay, give me the painkiller and no smart remarks."
Kara took the bottle out of her pocket. It contained eight pills, enough to get Lee through the weekend, until he saw the base doctor on Monday. She took one out and handed it to him before she went to the bar. She got a beer and a glass of water. When she brought them back to the table, he had dry-swallowed the pill. He took her beer and turned it up.
"Hey, the doctor warned you not to mix alcohol with that drug." She grabbed the beer and pushed the glass of water toward him. "Drink. You're supposed to hydrate. Who was that on the phone?"
"My dad. He'll be here in twenty minutes, maybe less."
"He's still trying to find my father. Flat Top told me. He and Crash were going to grab a few hours of sleep and then they're going back out."
Lee sipped the water even though he really wanted a beer. On his empty stomach, the painkiller was already beginning to work. The waiter showed up to take their order and Lee told him they would wait, that they were expecting someone else. He ordered his father a straight whiskey.
He looked at Kara. They hadn't talked about John since the night before. He knew that Kara believed John was still alive.
"What?" She finally asked.
Lee dropped his eyes and shook his head. "Nothing."
"You think my dad is dead, don't you?"
"I just know that I saw the basestar explode seconds after I heard him try to transmit something."
"He could have still made it out. He could have jumped…"
"Where, Kara? Where could he have jumped that our ships can't find him? A Raptor has limited FTL capability. At the most he might have made it as far as the ice planet. They've searched for him far beyond that planet and everywhere in between. Please don't do this to yourself. Please."
"So you think I should just accept that he's gone…like I did before."
"I know John. He wouldn't want you to keep torturing yourself like this, thinking he's out there somewhere waiting to be rescued."
"That's easy for you to say. Your father is going to come walking in that door any minute."
"That's got nothing to do with it. Your father died a hero, Kara. You need to accept it. Be proud of his sacrifice."
Kara sipped her beer and looked away from him. Could she do that? Could she accept it? Could she let go of her father? She shook her head. "Not yet. I'm not letting go yet. My father loves me and he loves Brae and Laura…and you. He'd do everything in his power to get back to us."
As the painkiller flooded his body, Lee remembered his dream from the ocean. What had John told him? Already the dream was getting hazy, slipping away from him. But then it hadn't really been John talking to him. It was his dream, his interpretation of events, but he knew that he was right. He knew his friend. He knew how John would feel about Kara continuing to hold out hope.
"John went back to that basestar knowing what the consequences would be. He did it because he loved you, because he wanted to save you and Brae and Laura."
"Then you bury him. I'm not going to do it. Not yet."
Lee dropped his head in defeat just as Bill walked through the door.
"Here comes your father," Kara said. "I'll be back in a minute. I've got to go to the bathroom."
In truth she didn't think she could take the reunion between Lee and his father. She knew she was wrong to feel that way, but she couldn't help it. In the restroom she stood and looked in the mirror. She looked into the reflection of her eyes, her father's eyes. She would see him again one day. As long as she believed that, she could handle anything.
Bill squeezed Lee's shoulder tightly before he sat down.
"Thanks for letting Karl and Sharon take Kara up in that Raptor," Lee said to him.
"She's very persuasive when she wants to be. She told me they would find you. I owe her."
Lee smiled. "You think you do? You don't have any idea how good that Raptor looked."
"How's the leg?"
"My fibula is broken in two places and my tibia in one place. Major Parker says I'll be out of the cockpit for a couple of months…more like three."
"He's right."
"What about Nereid? What about the second Sadie mission?"
"We'll talk about that later. I'm in no rush." Lee looked at his father. Bill's eyes were unreadable.
"How's Zak?" Lee finally asked.
"He's fine. I don't know what's going on with him, though. I spoke to him this morning. He's talking about joining the Marines again. Maybe you can talk to him tomorrow and find out what's up. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. He's talked about it before."
"That was before he got the PR job with the Buccaneers. I thought he was happy lately."
"So did I," his father said. "Who knows with Zak? A whim, a sudden burst of patriotism? Maybe he's gotten bored. I'm sure he'll talk to you…tell you what he's thinking. He's never done that with me."
Lee looked up as Kara sat down at the table.
"Hello, Admiral Adama."
"It's good to see you, Kara. Thank you for finding my son."
Kara smiled. "You owe Karl and Sharon, too, sir."
"I'm aware of that. I'm taking her help into consideration."
"Where are they now?" Lee asked.
"We released them to go home. Both volunteered to stay if I needed them."
Kara knew what they had volunteered to stay and do. She glanced at Lee.
Bill picked up his drink and said gently, "You know we'll have to call off the search for John soon."
Kara held his gaze. "I know."
"I've got two Raptors covering the surface of the ice planet. We've already searched both moons. After that there's nowhere left to search."
"I know…sir."
Lee looked at Kara in surprise. In the short time that she been gone from the table, had she accepted her father's death?
Bill reached into his inside tunic pocket. He took out two envelopes and gave one to Lee and one to Kara. Lee looked down. He recognized John's handwriting. Kara pulled the letter toward her and ran her finger over it before she folded it and put it in her pocket.
She smiled at them.
"Let's eat. I'm hungry. Then we can talk about the mission I'm going to fly to Nereid."
…
For a long time after Bill left, Laura sat holding the letter he had given her, a letter from her husband. She had just started to very slowly peel back the flap when she heard the bedroom door open. Her son ran into the room.
"Mamma."
She carefully slipped the letter into her leather-bound planner and scooped him into her arms. In the last two weeks he had finally mastered the 'm' sound although he still called Maya 'Yaya'.
Braedon squirmed and pointed toward the door. "Out."
Maya walked out of the bedroom. She looked sleepy, her dark hair tousled around her shoulders. She ran her fingers through it and pulled it into a ponytail.
"We had a good nap. How was your meeting?"
"I didn't stay for all of it. Richard will fill me in later."
Braedon pointed toward the door again and said, "Out!" in a louder voice.
Maya walked over and took him. "I'll take him up to the cafeteria and get him a snack. They had some nice looking bananas this morning."
"It's nearly dinner time," Laura said.
"Then we'll eat dinner. Don't you want to come?"
"Maybe later. I'm not hungry right now."
They left and Laura sat down on the couch and took the letter out of her planner. She finished peeling back the flap. With trembling fingers she unfolded the single page.
Dearest Laura,
If you are reading this, it means the worst has happened, the thing that is on every pilot's mind each time he or she takes a ship up. There are many times I think it should have happened to me long ago, that I've been living on the clichéd borrowed time for many years, but what years those have been. The gods spared me over and over when others died and I always wondered why until I met Kara's mother and we had our daughter. Even though Socrata kept Kara from me for most of her childhood, I loved Kara and watched over her and prayed always that one day I'd have the chance to be a real father to her. I got that chance, late though it was, and I wouldn't trade the short time I had with her for anything. I've loved her for eighteen years and I will continue to love her no matter where I am in the afterlife.
I know that in the two years you and I have been together we've occasionally struggled with our relationship and that has been mostly my fault. I've had a hard time accepting the fact that you could love a guy like me, but these last months, busy as they have been for both of us, have been the best in my entire life.
I've tried to get my thoughts together to put on paper about our happy and precocious son, but I'm not doing too well. If I have one regret, it's that I won't see him grow into the man I know he'll become. I won't worry as much about you and Kara because both of you are strong and tough and you'll carry on. The only thing I ask of you is that you don't let Braedon forget me. Show him my picture from time to time and tell him that his 'dada' loved him more than life.
I love you, Laura, and if the gods find it in their hearts to grant my last wish, it's that we'll see each other again one day. John
Carefully Laura folded the letter and put it in her planner. She stood and looked at her watch. Early evening. The stars would just be visible in the twilight sky. She went into her bedroom and took a hooded coat she had brought earlier that day from the apartment. She quickly scribbled a note telling Maya that she was going out for a short while and where she was going.
On the top level of the bunker, a Marine stopped her. Even after he recognized her, he still detained her.
"Ma'am, I can't let you go out there alone. I have my orders. No one leaves here unaccompanied."
"Then accompany me, but I will go out."
He stepped away from her and spoke into the radio at his shoulder for a moment before he turned back to her. "I'll call your car, ma'am. Where are you going?"
"No car. It's only a few blocks. It's a temple."
He motioned to another Marine. "You're with me."
Together they left the bunker, one on either side of her. She pulled up the hood of her coat. When they reached the little temple, she asked them to wait outside. One of them carefully checked the interior before he let her go in.
The temple was dimly lit, the lamps burning on the side walls only. There were candles flickering on the altar. Slowly she walked up the aisle. At the altar she used one candle and lit another one. She had no coins to put in the bowls and asked the gods to forgive her this visit.
Carefully she knelt on the cold stones in front of the altar instead of on the cushions located at the bottom of the two steps. She thought of her wedding here and her son's dedication ceremony. She let the pain wash through her and the tears finally came in choking sobs, her only question to the gods repeated over and over. Why him? Why him?
After a while she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a soft voice that she recognized. "Let me help you."
Elosha's arm supported Laura as she stood and then allowed herself to be led like a child into the room behind the altar. Elosha helped her sit on one of the cushions. Laura pushed back the hood revealing her tear-stained cheeks. She expected to see surprise on Elosha's face. Instead she saw only sympathy.
"You have lost someone very dear to you."
"John." Laura could barely say his name for the pain.
Elosha handed her a goblet of wine, the drink dark red, like blood. Laura drank all of it.
"In the third scroll Pythia speaks of the war between good and evil and the price that will be paid. And the forces of light will meet the forces of dark many times upon the planes of the heavens and the land. The forces of evil are strong and will prevail before they are overcome by the forces of good, but the battles will not be without their price in blood."
The drink calmed Laura.
"There will be a private memorial service…in several weeks. I'd like for it to be here. I'd like for you to officiate. John would want it, too."
"Of course."
Laura stood. She was under control now. "I need to go. Thank you."
"I have offered you little comfort."
"More than you know. I'll be back."
Elosha walked with her to the entrance. Laura looked up at the night sky, darker now, the stars brighter. She prayed that the soul of her husband was up there among the constellations as their heroes of old.
…
Kara unlocked the door of Lee's apartment and turned on the lights. Lee carefully maneuvered through the door. He hopped to the couch and put the crutches on the floor before he gratefully sat.
Kara closed the door. She walked over to the bookcase and took her father's letter from her pocket. Gently she smoothed it out and lifted her Top Gun trophy. She put the letter under it.
"Aren't you going to read it?" Lee asked.
"Not yet."
How could she explain it to him? Until she opened that letter, her father would be alive for her.
"Aren't you going to read yours?"
"Later."
So maybe he did understand. Kara walked over to him and held out her hand. He took the letter from his pocket and handed it to her. She smoothed it out and put it under his Top Gun trophy. She turned on the CD player. Dreilide's new CD began to play.
She went to the kitchen, got two beers from the refrigerator and opened them. She walked back into the living room and handed one of them to Lee.
"So you're letting me drink now?"
"You've had something to eat."
They sat for a while and listened to the music.
"Are you mad because I told your father I want to fly the next Sadie mission to Nereid?"
He shook his head. "I'm really tired. I want to go to bed."
"Do you want me to stay?"
"What do you think, Kara?"
"I'm going to take a shower. Do you want me to help you get in bed?"
"I can make it."
"What's wrong with you? Why won't you let me help you?"
"Because I don't need somebody to help me."
"Mr. Macho Tough Guy. Can't let a little something like a broken leg stop you, can you?"
Lee turned up the beer. "We're both tired. Let's not say anything else. You saved my life, Kara. I don't want to fight with you."
She turned up the beer and walked into the bathroom. When she got out of the shower, he was already in bed. She threw her towel over a chair and climbed in beside him.
He was on his back, his arm above his head. He slid it down and pulled her against him.
"I thought you were tired," Kara said.
"I'm never that tired."
"Of course not, since I'm going to have to do all the work." She couldn't hide the amusement in her voice.
"Is that a complaint?"
"So you don't mind letting me do some things?"
"Anything you want, Kara."
"I'll start here," she said and kissed his mouth. He tasted of beer. She let her tongue gently explore his as she felt his hands slide up her ribcage.
"I keep thinking I'm still in the water and this is all a dream," he said.
"No dream," she said as she kissed his chest, her tongue sliding across his nipple. "It's just the beer and drugs making you feel that way. I'm real."
He had a brief memory of his dream about John…something about real and not real. Kara's hands on him were real. Her mouth was real. She was real. He wasn't dreaming.
For a man with a broken leg, he thought they did fine. She was careful as she straddled him. He whispered her name, whispered his love for her, and he let her take her pleasure from him.
For the first time in two days he wasn't aware of his broken leg. He was aware only of the feeling building in him and his love for her.
They were alive. They were both alive and this was no dream. This was real.
…
The next morning Kara fixed coffee and hot cereal, which is all Lee wanted. He asked for another painkiller. She kissed him and left him drowsy on the couch after she promised she would be back in time for lunch. She had to go to the apartment for some more clothes.
Jennet let her in. The minute she saw Kara, she put her hand over her mouth and began to cry.
"I'm fine," Kara said.
She heard little footsteps. Braedon ran into the foyer. Kara knelt and scooped her brother into her arms. Maya appeared in the doorway to the den. Holding Braedon, Kara walked over to her. Maya put her arms around both of them. Braedon squirmed to get down.
"I promised myself I wasn't going to start crying in front of him," Maya said. "He doesn't understand."
"Is Laura here?" Kara asked.
"She's coming later. I came ahead to start packing some of Brae's things. We're moving to Marble House today."
"Is that what you want to do?"
Maya shook her head. "Not really. But it's what Laura wants."
"Have you heard from Sam?"
"His apartment building was damaged. He wasn't there when it happened. He was vague about exactly where he was. He's staying with Zak until he finds a new place or that's what he says. How's Lee?"
"I left him resting. What is it about guys not admitting they need any help? My dad was the same way after he got shot. I was staying at the hospital with him and he was all, I can do it myself, when he couldn't do anything himself."
At the mention of her father, Maya said. "I can't believe he's gone."
"He's not dead," Kara said softly.
Maya whirled and even Kara could see the hope in her eyes. "They've found him?"
Kara shook her head. "No. But he's not dead. I know he's not."
"Laura said Admiral Adama has called off the search," Maya said.
"I know. Laura thinks I'm crazy. Lee thinks I'm crazy. It's all right. Maybe I am crazy."
Braedon was trying to reach the top part of the cabinet. "Dada," he said.
Maya walked over and picked him up. "He's been doing that since we got here. I don't know what he wants."
Braedon squirmed and Maya put him down. He did the same thing. Kara walked over to the cabinet and opened it. Her father's laptop computer was inside. She picked it up.
"Could this be what he wants?"
"Probably. I don't know why I didn't think about that. He's always been fascinated by it. John was always showing him pictures of ships."
Braedon was standing on his toes at Kara's leg. He reached up. "Dada."
"Why don't you finish packing Brae's things?" Kara said. "I'll entertain him."
She went over to the couch, opened the computer and booted it. Braedon climbed up beside her. He looked up proudly and smiled. For a moment Kara saw her father and her vision blurred with tears. Carefully she stroked her brother's soft brown hair.
Her father's password was starmapper. She entered it and took a deep breath. She could do this.
"What do you want to look at, Brae?"
She looked at the icons and then clicked on the pictures. There were dozens of photographs of ships. She started through them. When she got to a Viper, Braedon pointed to the screen. "Kawa."
"Yes, that's my ship. What next?"
She looked at pictures of the island they had taken on their last trip. Braedon began to get restless. He reached over and tried to mash some of the keys. She sensed his frustration.
"Easy, Brae. Don't break it. What do you want to look at?"
"Dada," he said again.
She began to look for pictures of her father. Instead she found the star charts of Nereid he had worked on. Fascinated, she began paging through them. She would go there. Last night Admiral Adama hadn't said yes, but he hadn't said no, either. She was almost sure that she would fly the next mission to Nereid. Yolanda Brenn had been right after all. She would take the laptop back to Lee's apartment so she could study these charts and maps.
Braedon reached across her lap and put his finger on the screen. "Dada."
She took his finger away. "Yes, your dada did these charts. Now don't touch. Your fingers are sticky. Let Kara look at the pictures."
She paged several more times and each time Braedon put his finger on the screen and said, "Dada."
Kara kept taking his finger off the screen. She could see the little smudges.
"No." He began to fret the next time she reached for his hand.
"When did you learn that word?" She asked him.
Maya walked into the den with several bags. "He learned it a few weeks ago. I'm surprised you haven't heard it yet. He's said it enough times in the last few days."
"What does he want?" Kara asked her. "I don't understand what he wants."
Braedon slid off the couch and walked to the terrace door. "Out."
"We can't go out," Maya said. "It's too cold."
"Out. Dada."
"I don't know what he wants either. Maybe he thinks John is out on the terrace. He's probably looking for him."
Braedon was clearly frustrated. He slapped the glass door. "Out!"
Kara put the laptop on the couch and went to the door. She picked Braedon up.
"I'll take him outside and show him. Maybe that will quiet him."
She carried her brother outside. It was cold but the sun was shining. Across the river she could see smoke still drifting from the extinguished fires. She walked around the terrace with Braedon. Memories of sitting out there with her father filled her mind, the times they sat sharing Academy experiences and talking about flying. She took a deep breath as tears filled her eyes.
She managed to say to her brother. "See, Daddy's not out here."
Braedon pointed skyward. "Dada."
Kara wondered how her brother could know that their father had taken a ship up. Surely he was too young to understand an idea that complex. Then she realized that their father had probably stood out there with him and pointed to ships in the sky. Braedon had come to associate the sky with his father.
"Yes, that's where your dada is."
She took her brother back inside. Being outside for a few minutes seemed to have satisfied him. He went to his toy box and started pulling toys out until he found the Raptor. He held it up to her and said, "Dada."
It was more than Kara could take. She turned and walked from the room, down the hall to her bedroom and sat on her bed. For a few minutes she felt like she was going to suffocate. When she looked up, Maya was at the door. She came and sat down on the bed beside Kara and put her arm around her shoulders.
"I'm going to stay with Lee for a while," Kara finally said. "Laura won't like it, but he needs me. He doesn't like to admit it, but he does."
"That's probably better for you, too. Maybe it's better if all of us are away from here for a while."
"I'll come see Brae…and you…and Laura. How is she doing?"
"Good…most of the time. She went out last night to see the priest, Elosha. When she got back I could tell she'd been crying, but she had it together by then."
"Laura is tough and strong. She'll be fine."
"Just like you," Maya said softly. "Just like John."
Kara looked at her and Maya held her steady gaze. Something passed between them just as it had when Maya had shared her experience in the camp with Kara. It was something they would speak of only once, but Kara suddenly understood why Maya had accepted the relationship with Sam on his terms, why she had never pushed him for a commitment, why it wasn't that important to her.
Kara watched the tears come up in Maya's eyes.
"Does my father know how you feel about him?" Kara asked.
Maya shook her head and finally dropped her eyes. "I'd better get back to Brae." At the door she turned. The tears had spilled over. "Next to my Peter, he was the kindest man I ever knew."
Kara had finished packing her duffel bag and had carried it to the den when Laura arrived. They shared a brief and awkward hug. Kara could tell that Laura was struggling with her emotions.
"I see you're packed," Laura said.
"I'm going back to Lee's. I'm going to stay with him for a while."
"The President's staff is getting a room ready for you at Marble House."
"Tell them to take their time. I won't need it right away."
"Certainly you understand how it will look for you to move in with Lee…even for a short while."
"I guess the press will have a field day with the President-elect's stepdaughter shacking up with the admiral's son. Are you going to tell them?"
"Of course not, but Marble House has a large staff. They'll know you're not there. Someone will certainly talk. Kara, please. I want us to be together as a family."
"The problem is that you've already written my dad off and I haven't."
Laura sighed wearily. This was not going the way she had planned.
"John would not appreciate this kind of behavior from you," Laura said, the exasperation finally coming through in her voice. "He would expect you to cooperate."
"When he gets back, he can chew me out for it."
Kara picked up the laptop, closed it and zipped it into her duffel bag. She bent down and kissed her brother before she grabbed the bag. She faced Laura.
"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I'm just not ready for all this right now. Lee needs me. You've got my mobile number. You know where to find me."
After she was gone, Laura sat on the couch and looked at Maya. "Dear gods, what did I say or do wrong?"
"It's not you," Maya said. "Kara will think about it and apologize. She's been through a lot in the last couple of days."
"Like the rest of us haven't?"
Laura looked at her son sitting on the floor playing with his ships. She walked over, picked him up and carried him to the picture of her and John taken at their wedding.
"Your father loved you more than life," she said before she kissed him and put him down to go back to his toys.
As she watched him play, she knew that the Oracle had been right.
One day her son would map the stars on the way to Earth.