Siren's Kiss

by JaneAus10

This AU story begins when a young Kara Thrace is rescued from a nuked and dying Picon along with her best friend Karl Agathon. It follows them to Caprica and her eventual meeting with Lee Adama and relates the ways in which their lives are changed forever when her destiny crosses his. Image Credit: Detail of The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. COMPLETE.

77. In Memorium

Chapter 77

In Memorium

As the rumor spread around the internet that the Cylon homeworld had been found, increasing pressure was put upon President Adar to either officially confirm or deny the rumor. In a televised news conference a month before he left office, Adar confirmed that a distance planet outside their solar system was being viewed 'with suspicion'. When asked if the information had come from one of the captive humanoid Cylons, Adar replied with a terse 'no comment' leading most to believe that Cavil or one of the others had revealed the location. When asked if the military had any plans to pursue the destruction of the Cylon homeworld, Adar again refused comment citing security reasons.

- Bartell, History of the Second Cylon War

.

Kara sat in the pilot's ready room on the base with a dozen other Viper pilots. It had been five days since Admiral Adama had called off the search for her father, five days in which she had thanked her fellow pilots for their efforts in searching for him. She had accepted their condolences, but refused to say anything else. A part of her had accepted the fact that logically nothing pointed to John's survival. Everyone else now believed that he had never made it out of the basestar. They believed that his Raptor had completely disintegrated in the white heat of the explosion. Her heart, however, would not accept the death of the man she had known for such a short time but with whom she felt such a tight and enduring bond.

Even her brother had felt something, although Kara now believed that Brae's chattering had only been a little boy missing his father and searching for him in the objects and places he associated with the man who loved him so much, the laptop computer and the ships and the time they had spent on the terrace during the summer.

Lee had tried twice to get her to talk about it and twice she had refused. Staying at the apartment with him had been so different than the week they had spent on the island together. He was grumpy about his leg and often difficult to be around. Several times she had almost packed her bag and gone to back to the apartment, but each time she had talked herself out of it because she knew Lee needed her right now as much as she needed him.

Despite Lee's insistence on being able to do everything for himself, Kara knew that she made life easier for him. She helped him. Wasn't that a part of loving someone, too? Helping each other through the rough times as well as the good times? Putting up with each other's bad moods and frustrations? So she had stuck it out.

She had expected for several days to get orders to return to the Galactica, but she and the other pilots who were on shore leave when the battle started were finally told they would continue to report to the airbase for duty until further notice. She was glad. She didn't know when the order might come sending her back to the battlestar, but until it did, she would take each day and each night with Lee as a gift and not waste it. She knew what long nights alone in a bunk felt like and so did he.

All of the battlestars were back over Caprica now. In the ready room the previous day, the pilots had been told that the Valkyrie had been brought into dry dock on the planet for repairs. She wished that they could have seen the big battlestar brought down through the atmosphere, but the dry dock was nearly five hundred miles northwest of Caprica City, too far for an excursion just to get a look at something that hadn't happened since she had been on Caprica.

The estimate was four months until the ship was space-worthy and ready for battle again. The Atlas would be next although the estimated repair time on it was shorter…two months. Both ships had suffered extensive damage before the basestars near them had been destroyed. The repairs on the other battlestars were being done in space as they orbited the planet.

If Admiral Adama wanted his battlestars combat ready before he went to Nereid, that meant six, maybe eight months before he would engage the Cylons in the Prolmar Sector, time during which there would probably be more than one recon mission to the planet.

Now she sat in the ready room on the third row and waited for Colonel Jackson Spencer to come in. They were going to look at some more of the gun camera footage of the fighting.

Noel Allison came in and sat down beside her.

"I thought I was going to be late. There's still problems with the subway running on time. Four of the lines are still closed while they shore up the tunnels."

"I'm riding my motorcycle. Lee told me to take his car, but I'd rather ride my bike. The cold clears my head."

There was another reason that she was riding the bike now. In only a few days she'd fallen back into her old habit of riding too fast, losing herself to the sensation of speed as she flew along the I-6 in the outside lane, passing everything on her way to and from the base. She didn't even worry about a speeding ticket. The city's police were still too busy patrolling the damaged and fire-ravaged areas, although Lee had told her that the President was going to ask the military for help as soon as the Marines finished mopping up the last of the Cylon centurions.

Major Parker's estimate of one day to finish the fighting had been overly optimistic. There were still skirmishes going on near some of the Cylon strongholds. Cavil had been smart. He'd placed the centurions in the city in such a way that the military couldn't destroy their enclaves without wreaking more damage on the already battered citizens and property. The Marines were fighting with conventional weapons, street to street, rarely able to use the rockets and grenades and other devices now readily available to them. They had cordoned off areas to keep the centurions from getting out, but the casualty toll among the soldiers was climbing.

There was even a dark joke that had gone around the base. Someone asked what the centurions did when they started running out of ammunition. The answer. Melt one of themselves down to make more bullets. Kara thought the joke was dark and sick, too, and she had walked away from the group of pilots who had been laughing about it.

"How is Lee doing?" Narcho asked.

His question brought her back to the present. "Grumpy because he can't do much. He talked his doctor into letting him start some limited work next week. He'll come out here for a couple of hours a day. I think he's pushing it, but Lee's going to do it anyway so there's no point in arguing with him."

"How are you doing?"

Kara shrugged. "Okay. What about you?"

He lowered his voice. "I'm not sleeping. Neither is Saunders. He prowls around the apartment half the night. Quartararo is doing fine. I can hear him snoring. We're staying at his apartment until we find out what they're going to do with us."

"The base has somebody you can go to about the sleep problems."

"What'd they give you?"

Kara grinned. "How would I know? I'm sleeping just fine."

That wasn't true. One night recently she had dreamed about flying her Viper between a maze of tall buildings and firing missiles at centurions on the ground. The buildings were old and crumbling and didn't look like Caprica. She finally decided that she had been dreaming about Nereid and the pictures of the ruined city that Lee had taken on his mission.

She dreamed about being in her Viper a lot now. She dreamed about being alone and surrounded by Raiders, knowing she couldn't take them all out, waiting for the kill shot that took her out, knowing she was going to die. Once the dream had been so intense that she'd had to get out of bed and walk to the kitchen before her heart stopped pounding and the sweat dried on her body. Lee hadn't even stirred. He was still taking the painkillers at night. He was sleeping fine.

"Maybe I'll just drink another beer before I go to bed," Narcho said.

"Has Flat Top mentioned Seelix?"

Narcho shook his head. "He hasn't talked about that night at all. None of us have. We went down to The Shark Rider a couple of nights ago. It was just locals. We stayed and drank a beer. I don't think we'll go back for a while. It was depressing."

"Lee and I have been going to Zeno's most nights for dinner. His brother is supposed to meet us there tonight."

"Racetrack's boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Saunders told me that she and Karl got into it in the hall outside the locker room yesterday over Sharon."

"Got into it?" Kara asked in surprise. "You mean a fight?"

"She got in his face. Called him a Cylon lover and a traitor. Told him he was a disgrace to the uniform."

"What happened?"

"Saunders and Skulls pulled her away from him before it got physical."

"Was Sharon there?"

Narcho shook his head. "Nobody's seen her since the day you found Lee. We don't know if she's laying low or they've told her not to report for duty or she's been taken somewhere. Karl's not talking to any of the rest of the Raptor pilots about it."

"I need to call him," Kara said. "I talked to him this past Monday night. He didn't say anything was wrong."

"Do you think we'll be going back to the Galactica soon?"

"I don't think I'll be…at least not until after the inauguration."

Kara knew that the inauguration wouldn't hold her on Caprica if the rest of the pilots were sent back. But flying the mission to Nereid would. She just couldn't talk about that yet. The inauguration was a good excuse.

As if he were reading her thoughts, Narcho said, "Saunders heard something else yesterday. He heard that we've found the Cylon homeworld. You know, the place they came from when they attacked us five years ago. Now Saunders thinks we'll be going there to take them on again."

Kara shrugged. "You hear all kinds of rumors these days. Lee read on the web that somebody had spotted Cavil and the blond woman up in Sovana. That's a joke. They're both here in prison. The web is full of urban legends now. You can't believe everything you hear or read."

Jackson Spencer walked down the aisle to the front of the ready room. "More home movies," he said as the lights were dimmed.

"This is getting a little depressing," Narcho whispered to Kara.

"Do you have a comment you'd like to share with the group, Lieutenant Allison?" Spencer asked. His voice had an edge today, which was unlike him. Maybe the footage was getting to him, too. He had to do this over and over with small groups of pilots.

"No, sir."

"Then let's have everyone's attention."

They watched the grainy black and white footage for over an hour as Spencer stopped frequently and pointed out mistakes pilots had made along with the good moves. She thought she recognized some footage taken from her cameras but there was a lot about that night she didn't remember so she couldn't be sure.

They watched a Viper explode. She wondered who it was because the tail numbers had been blurred. Watching the sequences was hard enough without knowing which classmate or friend you had just watched die.

When the lights came back up, Spencer asked for questions.

Someone from the back of the room said, "Rumor has it that we might be doing this again someday in the not-too-distant future."

So something had leaked.

"We need to keep our skills sharp," Spencer said. "Now that we don't have to deal with Raider escorts on every training mission, we'll be doing a lot more every time we go up…which will be starting next week. Any more questions?"

He had skillfully deflected the question without answering it. When the room was silent for a few moments, Spencer said, "There will be a memorial service in the base chapel this Sunday afternoon at 15:00 for the pilots we lost. You are all encouraged to attend. Starbuck, stay behind. The rest of you are dismissed."

Kara gave Narcho a look and smiled. "I'm innocent."

He smiled back and stood. "That's what they all say."

When everyone was gone, Kara walked down to the front. "Yes, sir."

"You have an appointment with Admiral Adama tomorrow morning at 10:00 at his office downtown. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes, sir. I've been there before. Do you know what it's about?"

"All I was told was to have you report to his office. How are you doing, Starbuck?"

"Fine, sir."

How's Lieutenant Adama?"

She managed a smile. "Grumpy, sir."

"Have you talked to anyone about losing your father?"

"I'm doing fine, sir. He wouldn't want me to…I'm okay."

"That's all I have then."

"Thank you, sir."

There were only two things the admiral would call her to his office to talk about…her father or the mission to Nereid. She hoped it was the latter. As far as she was concerned, she and Bill Adama didn't have anything else to say about her father. She understood why he had called off the search. She didn't blame him for giving up. But she didn't want to talk about it anymore, not to him, not to anyone.

She and Lee had not mentioned Nereid again after the night they got back from the rescue ship. Her father's laptop with its star charts was still in her duffel bag. If the admiral told her tomorrow that she would fly the mission, she would get it out and start studying the maps and charts.

She went to the back of the ready room and took her black leather jacket off a hook and zipped it over her fatigues. She took her helmet from the shelf above. She hadn't been to Marble House all week. She owed Maya and her brother a visit. She hoped that she was early enough that Laura would still be at her office or in a meeting. Right now she didn't have anything to say to her stepmother.

…

Lee jerked awake. He had dozed and his head had fallen back against the top of the couch. He massaged his neck for a few minutes trying to work out the stiffness. It had only been a week since he had fallen from the sky into the ocean. A week since Kara and Karl and Sharon had found him in a rescue that Lee knew was nothing short of a miracle. And yet the thought of four or five more weeks in the cast was almost more than he could stand to think about.

He knew he had so much to be thankful for. He had survived and Kara had survived. Zak and his father had survived. Everyone he knew and cared about was still alive…except John.

Lee looked at the bookcase. John's letter to him was still under his Top Gun trophy. He knew Kara hadn't read hers yet, either. He was beginning to wonder now if she ever would. She wouldn't talk to him about it. If he mentioned it, she just clammed up. He couldn't even tell if she had accepted it yet or if she still believed her father was alive.

Maybe that was the definition of faith although he thought that more than likely it was simply denial. He knew that one day she would face it, however, and he wanted to be there for her when she did. He needed to accept it and deal with it himself. He should be ready to help Kara when she needed him. He should read John's letter and start the healing process. He had put off the pain long enough.

Carefully Lee got up. He had learned his lesson earlier in the week about getting up too quickly. He had gotten off balance and nearly fallen. Luckily Kara hadn't been there to see it. Now he moved slowly. The last thing he wanted was another broken bone.

He hobbled over to the bookcase, took John's letter from under the trophy and carried it to the kitchen. Using a knife he carefully slit the envelope. With an empty feeling in his heart, he sat down at the table and began to read.

Lee,

Before I take the Raptor up in its first test, I'm giving a couple of letters to your dad and asking him to do the honors if something happens to me. If you're reading this, you know what it means.

I'll always remember the night I met you, that night I had to leave Kara and Karl at Singer's airfield. All I had on my mind was getting back to my daughter and you still impressed me with your maturity and intelligence. Before that night was over, I figured out that you had some issues with your father, but instead of turning your back on a military career without giving him a chance, you traveled to a battlestar to see what his life was all about. That impressed me, too.

At the risk of sounding more sentimental than you're used to hearing me, I want you to know that I couldn't be happier that you and Kara are together. That wasn't the case two years ago, but not because I objected to you. I thought she was too young, but we've been over that before and there's no need to go there again. When the time is right, I know you two will marry, and the gods willing will raise a family together. On that day, know you have my blessing. I just hate that I'll miss seeing my little girl on the happiest day of her life.

I told Kara in her letter, but I want to tell you, too. If anything should ever happen to Laura, I want you and Kara to raise Braedon. I know that might be difficult for you both to do with the military as a career, but Laura has no relatives left alive and I can't stand the thought of my bright and happy son going to a foster home. If that day ever comes, please try to keep Maya in his life. We couldn't have found a better nanny, and I will always thank the gods for her love and care of him.

I know you'll be fine. I know you'll go on like you always have because you survived a tough childhood. Kara did, too, but she's my daughter and it's a father's duty to worry about his little girl. She will mourn me in her own way although the gods only know what that way will be. She's been through a lot in her short life. Be patient with her.

I know you don't believe in an afterlife, but at least consider the fact that maybe I'm right about that and you're wrong. I'd like to think I'll see my best friend again one day. John

Lee folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. For the first time in a week, he felt the emotional pain like a punch in the gut. He put his head down on his arms. In just a night, just a week, their lives had changed drastically and they had no choice but to move forward. There was no going back, no stopping what had been set in motion by Cavil's insane plan to kidnap a child he thought knew the way to Earth. Lee had lost a close friend, his best friend, and he knew he would never forgive the Cylons for that loss.

…

Kara sat on the floor playing with her brother. Today he was putting big wooden pieces in the shapes of animals into a puzzle. He hadn't once said 'dada' to her. She wondered about the memory of a one-year-old child. Had he forgotten his father already?

She looked at her watch. "I'd better go. Lee and I are meeting Zak tonight at Zeno's."

"Is he bringing Maggie?" Maya asked.

"I don't know. I hope not. I don't want to get into it with her about Sharon."

"Maggie's not a happy person."

Kara smiled sadly. "So you picked up on that, too. I've known Maggs since the camp. I know one thing. She hates the Cylons."

"Most people do."

Kara knew that Maya was right. Maya had more reason than most to hate the Cylons.

"What do you hear from Sam?"

"He's been working with one of the disaster relief organizations."

"Sam?" Kara asked in surprise.

"That was my reaction, too. But the place where they play their pyramid games is being used to house people who lost their homes and apartments in the fighting. The Buccaneers' home games have been called off until further notice. The team's owner is going nuts over the revenue he's losing. He's already got his staff putting pressure on the government to do something with his uninvited guests. Sam said Adar hadn't bowed to the pressure yet. There's nowhere else to put the people right now. All the homeless shelters are running over. People are sleeping in the subways again."

"So what's Sam doing to help?"

"He said he was helping serve food to them. I'm surprised you haven't seen him on television or seen something on the internet."

Kara shook her head. "I haven't looked at either one lately."

Maya said, "Sam and I are going out tomorrow night before they go on the road for a week. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm really okay with whatever Sam and I have. I know he was with another woman when his apartment building was damaged. That's why he wasn't home. I don't know which one and I really don't care. That's just Sam. He's a big sports star. I can hardly expect a relationship like I had with Peter. I'll never have anything like that again."

"Yes, you can. But instead of looking, you're just going to settle for being another one of Sam's…women."

Maya dropped her eyes. "Sam has been very nice to me."

Whatever else Maya was thinking went unsaid. Kara stood. "That doesn't mean you can't find someone who's nice and faithful, but it's your life. I need to go. I don't want to see Laura."

They heard the door open.

"Too late," Maya mouthed.

Laura walked into the room.

"Hi," Kara said.

"This is a surprise," Laura said.

"I came by to see Brae."

"How are you?" Laura asked.

"I'm fine. Lee's leg is giving him more trouble than he counted on." It sounded like an excuse and Kara knew it.

"Would you like to see your room here? It's very nice. It's actually a small suite."

"Some other time. I'm going to be late for dinner."

"Then I'll be brief. During my inauguration in January, I'd like for you to be on the platform with me when I take the oath and am sworn in as the next President. I'd like for you to hold Braedon. Your father would have done that, but…" Laura managed a small smile, and Kara saw tears come into her eyes. "He would want you to do it."

Kara nodded. Laura was right. Her father would want her to do it. "If he's not back by then I'll do it."

Laura continued. "A week from Sunday, there will be a private memorial service for John at the temple where we were married. I finalized the plans today. I was going to call you tonight. Can I count on you to attend?"

"What's the big rush?"

"It will have been almost three weeks by then. I hardly call it rushing. A memorial service is about honoring him. It's also about closure for us."

"For you and Admiral Adama."

"For all of us."

"Whatever. It's your show."

"It's not a show, Kara," Laura snapped. "It's a memorial service. Why are you so angry with me? What have I done?"

"Nothing. You haven't done anything. It's me. I'm the one with the problem."

"Two o'clock. If you would like to come here and have lunch on Sunday, we can ride together. Lee is invited, of course."

"Let me talk to him. That may be too much for him. He's not getting around much yet. We may have to meet you there."

"Just let me know," Laura said wearily.

At the door Kara turned and saw Laura kneel in front of her son who held a puzzle piece up to her and smiled.

"Hello, my little man. I've missed you today."

Kara knew one thing with certainty. Laura could never forget John because she would see him every time their son smiled at her.

…

Lee sat alone at a table in Zeno's. Kara and Zak were both late. He'd tried Kara's mobile phone. It went straight to voice mail. She'd ignored a text, too. Ten minutes later Zak walked through the door alone.

"Hey, big bro," he said as he sat down. He drummed his hands on the table top. He seemed almost euphoric.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I joined the Marines today."

"Joking about something like that will not cheer me up."

"No, joke. I start basic training in six days."

"Lords of Kobol, Zak, what possessed you to do that?"

"I couldn't let you have all the fun."

"That is not a good reason and you know it."

Kara came through the door unzipping the black leather jacket. She pulled off her gloves and dropped them on the table.

"Sorry I'm late. I went by to see Brae. Where's Maggs?"

"I didn't invite her," Zak said. "She's been in a seriously bad mood since she found out about Karl and the Cylon. I'm going over to see her later. I might be able to take it better after a few beers."

"Maggie got in Karl's face about Sharon out at the base," Kara said. "Flat Top and Skulls had to pull her off him."

"Sharon is a Cylon! What did you expect when people found out?" Lee asked.

Kara's reply was quick and sharp. "I didn't notice you complaining when she and Karl found you floating in the middle of the ocean."

"Whoa," Zak looked amused. "I've never heard that tone of voice before. Am I going to get to see you two fight?"

"No." Kara took a deep breath before she went to the bar and got a beer. She came back to the table and sat.

"Zak has some news," Lee said.

"I joined the Marines."

"Thanks for trying to make me laugh."

"What?" Zak said in a hurt voice. "You don't think I can be patriotic?"

Kara turned up the beer. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"I think what Kara means is that she's been…we've been through a lot in the last week and…"

"If it's true, then I think it was a gutsy thing to do," Kara said. "Your dad will be proud of you."

"I didn't do it for the admiral. I did it for me."

"Good for you, then. What are Sam and the C-Bucks going to do without you?"

"Same thing they did before I was hired. Sell tickets and win games. Somebody had a big PR idea. They've got Sam and the rest of the team serving meals to the homeless guests at the arena. The press is eating it up."

"Lords of Kobol," Kara said. "That was your idea?"

"Not mine," Zak answered. "Personally I thought it was over the top and phony, but my boss said it was great."

"And Sam went along."

Zak shrugged. "Sammy is a good employee. He does what he's told. He's getting a kick out of it. Adoration is adoration."

"Let's eat," Lee said. "I'm hungry."

Zak grinned. "Sitting around an apartment all day must work up an appetite."

They didn't leave Zeno's until nearly nine o'clock. Kara made sure Lee got safely up the steps of the apartment building and into the elevator.

"Go on up. I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to make a phone call."

Lee stuck one of his crutches against the elevator door to keep it from closing. "Secret boyfriend?"

Kara had drunk three beers at Zeno's. She didn't want to fight. "Karl."

"You don't want to talk to him in front of me?"

"It might upset you since I'll probably ask about Sharon. I might even mention the word Cylon."

Lee pulled the crutch back and let the door close.

Kara could tell her comment had made him angry. She walked outside and sat on the steps. Karl answered on the first ring.

"Sharon?"

"It's me," Kara said. "Is Sharon not with you?"

"Some guys in dark suits picked her up Tuesday morning. They said it was for routine questions. She hasn't come back. I haven't been able to find out who took her or where she is."

"You don't know who they were?"

"They had badges and guns and said they were with a special task force."

"I'm meeting with Admiral Adama in the morning. I'm sure he knows. Why didn't you ask me to help you?"

"Because she's a Cylon and I know how everybody feels right now."

"Not me. I don't feel that way…not about her."

"I didn't want to involve you in mine and Sharon's problem."

"How long have we been friends?"

"A long time."

"That's all you need to remember. I'll find out what's going on. I heard you and Maggs got into it."

"I can't blame her for how she feels."

"Do you want to come over for a while? I know Lee won't care."

"Some other time. I want to be here if Sharon comes back."

"We need to get together soon. I've missed talking to you."

"Same here."

"Call me or I'll call you."

"Take care of yourself, Kara."

She ended the call and rode the elevator up to the Lee's floor. He was standing in the doorway of the apartment. Without a word he moved back to let her inside.

"Some guys in dark suits took Sharon…probably your CO's buddies."

"They're questioning all the skinjobs…except Leoben. My dad said Agent Darren was furious that Laura had let him go. They wanted to pick him up again, but Adar said no. They're going to finish with the others first."

"Leoben doesn't know anything and neither does Sharon."

"I know you've always trusted them, but you can't read their minds. You don't know what they know."

"Leoben saved my life. Laura's and Braedon's, too. Sharon helped save yours. You trusted Leoben enough that you went and got him that night."

"It wasn't him I trusted, Kara. It was you. Maybe Leoben was straight with you. Maybe Cavil did wipe his memory. But I've always thought Sharon knows a lot more than she ever told you. I think she played you."

"What could she have known that would be important now? How many Cylons were on the basestar? How many were in the res ship? There aren't any Cylons on them now. They were mostly vaporized along with…" Kara stopped, the words sticking in her throat.

"Kara," Lee said gently. "Have you ever thought that there might be more skinjobs on Caprica. Ones we don't know about?"

"Leoben said there were eight…seven because Cavil destroyed all the copies of one of them."

"And this would be the same Leoben whose memories were wiped and implanted with false ones by Cavil?"

Kara sighed and sat down. Lee was right. She saw where he was going and he was right. She trusted Leoben, but she couldn't trust the implanted memories. Slowly her shoulders sagged and she put her face in her hands.

Lee hobbled over and sat down beside her. He put his hand gently on her back.

"I read John's letter today."

Without lifting her head she nodded.

"I think you should read your letter, too."

"Not yet. I'm not ready yet. Maybe after the memorial service next week."

"You need to accept that he's gone before you can move on."

"I have an appointment with your father tomorrow morning at ten."

Lee took a deep breath. She still wouldn't talk about John's death to him. He didn't think she'd shed a single tear yet. She had everything about that night bottled up inside and he didn't know what to do about it.

"What's the meeting about?" He asked with resignation in his voice.

"I don't know."

"It's probably about Sadie."

Kara lifted her head and snuggled into him. "Do you remember when we used to have fun?"

Lee pushed a strand of hair out of her face and said gently. "Like two weeks ago?"

She sadly looked up at him. "It feels like two hundred years."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Things will get better. You'll see."

Kara wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Is that a promise?"

Lee felt the desire and love for her course through him. "That's a promise."

…

As soon as Kara got to Admiral Adama's office in the morning, she was told to go right in even though she was fifteen minutes early. She had worn her duty blues today instead of her fatigues. His aide indicated a coat rack where she could put her jacket and helmet.

She stepped into the admiral's office and came to attention.

"Come in, Kara, and shut the door, please." When she had complied, he pointed to a chair near his desk. "Have a seat. How's Lee?"

"Going a little stir crazy."

Bill smiled. "I can imagine. This is probably the most idle he's been in his entire life."

"Yes, sir."

"We're all busy now so I'll get to the point of why I asked you here. You once expressed an interest in taking that Raider to Nereid. Do you still want to do it?"

Kara felt some of the sadness lift. She smiled. "Yes, sir. I do."

"I've given this a lot of thought. I don't want it to cause a problem with you and Lee."

"It won't. He's expecting it."

"I spoke with Dr. Rafferty two days ago. Lee practiced on a simulation of the Raider and then inside the Raider for several weeks. They're expecting you Monday morning. We'll talk about specifics of the mission in a couple of weeks. I'd like for the first recon mission to be flown in a month. I want to know if there's any change in the Cylon's strength, number of basestars, planetary forces, that sort of thing."

"What about the area where Lee photographed the smoke?"

"That's not where the Cylons are so first things first."

"My father said that you had reconsidered allowing a rescue mission."

"All options are still on the table at this point."

Kara didn't like the noncommittal way he made the statement, but she knew now was not the time to push it. He could easily change his mind about letting her fly the mission.

"Sir, a rumor is going around among the pilots that the Cylon homeworld has been found. I don't know how it got started, but it's only a matter of time until it gets to someone in the press."

The look on his face was one of tired frustration. "I'll see what we can do about damage control. Thank you, Kara."

"Sir, do you know what's happened to Sharon Valerii?"

"She's with the other skinjobs. They're being questioned."

"Questioned or tortured?"

"Major Parker and Agent Darren are in charge of the questioning. Neither one of them would allow torture."

"With all due respect, sir, they can't be there twenty-four hours a day."

"That's not your concern right now, Kara. The mission to Nereid is."

She realized she had almost pushed him too far, but she tried one last time.

"Could I be allowed to see her?"

"Not right now."

"She helped save Lee's life…sir. She did everything you asked her to do on the Galactica."

"I'm aware of that. So are Parker and Darren. Is that all, Kara?"

Again she realized that she was pushing him. Her relationship with Lee and possibly the admiral's guilt over her father's death would only get her so far.

"Yes, sir."

Before she got to the door, he said, "I'd like for you to consider moving to Marble House soon."

Kara felt a wave of anger wash her. She controlled it before she turned. She managed to keep her voice neutral. "Is that an order, sir?"

"No."

"Did Laura put you up to this?"

"We've discussed it, but no, she didn't put me up to it. I'm asking you to consider it. I think John would have wanted it. That will be all, lieutenant."

Again Kara saw the tired frustration on his face.

In the outer office, Kara grabbed her jacket and helmet. She was too angry to wait for the elevator. She ran the stairs to the ground floor. In the parking lot she put on the helmet and revved the bike. She knew she should get out to the base, but instead she turned west toward the University. She had to park nearly a block away from the bookstore.

She waited impatiently, pacing without even looking at the books while Leoben finished waiting on a customer. There were several others in the store so she kept her voice low.

"You probably need to pack up and leave town. Somebody might be coming to take you back to…wherever they took you before. Just because you saved Laura's life doesn't mean they'll leave you alone forever. Sharon helped save Lee's life and they took her anyway."

"How are you, Kara?"

"Didn't you hear me?"

"I heard you. It really doesn't matter. Where could I go that they wouldn't eventually find me?"

"Caprica is a big place."

"Linked together by a huge electronic network. Once a picture of me goes out, it won't matter where I am."

"You could go to Sovana. Nobody cares about that city or who lives there."

Leoben laughed. "How do I get to Sovana? Walk? Last time I checked it was over a thousand miles. The minute I buy a ticket for a ship or any other kind of transport, your friends will know about it. In fact I doubt I'd even be allowed to buy a ticket."

"They're not my friends," Kara said stubbornly.

"Lee's friends, then."

"So you're just going to sit here and wait for them to come for you?"

He nodded. "God has a plan for me. I've fulfilled part of it. I can't fulfill the rest by running away."

"Fine. Great. I warned you because I owe you."

"Then consider us even. I'm sorry about your father."

"Thanks."

At the door she looked back at him and wondered if she would ever see him again. He smiled and waved. He was probably wondering the same thing.

…

Laura was cleaning out her desk in the Dressler Building in preparation for moving her office to Marble House when Billy came to the door.

"The guard from downstairs just called. There's a woman who insists she's got to see you. Her name is…" Billy looked at a notepad and spelled. "K-e-s-h-i-a. No last name."

Laura shook her head. "That doesn't ring a bell. Did she say what it's about?"

Billy looked down at the notepad again. "Someone named Yolanda Brenn."

Laura's eyes widened. "Oh, dear gods. Keshia is her companion, her helper. Tell security to send her up right away."

Five minutes later Keshia was in her office. She looked thinner, her bronze face pale and drawn, her blouse and skirt were baggy where they had once shown curves. Her only protection against the cold was a thin shawl.

Laura went to the door and took her hands. "Please come in and sit down. Billy is making tea."

"I did not know how to find Kara. Yolanda has asked for her. She said you would help me."

"Where is Yolanda?"

"In the hospital. That monster had us at his house locked away in the basement, guarded by his centurions. It was cold and damp and we've had no food for days. Your soldiers freed us yesterday."

"Cavil was holding you prisoner?"

"Yes. For her prophecies. He would question her for hours. He doesn't understand how her gift works. He is sadistic and insane."

"And now she is ill?"

"She is dying. The doctors have said…" Keshia's face crumpled and she struggled to gain her composure. "They have said there is nothing they can do. She has been sick for weeks and that monster…he would not get her help. Now the doctors tell me the pneumonia is overwhelming her. She has asked for Kara. She said she must speak to Kara."

"Which hospital?"

"The big one. Kings Bay."

Laura picked up the phone and punched in a number. Please be there.

When Bill answered, she said, "How fast can you get Kara to Kings Bay Medical Center?"

"What happened to her?"

"Nothing. There is someone there she needs to see." Laura glanced at Keshia. "Time is very critical. Tell her to ask for Yolanda Brenn's room."

"I'll see that she gets there."

Laura hung up. That was one of the things she had always liked about Bill. He didn't waste time quizzing her. He would act and ask questions later.

Keshia stood. "I must get back. One of the doctors told me she would not live through the night. The gods will bless you for this."

Billy walked in with two cups of tea as Keshia hurried past him out the door.

"Sit down," Laura told him, "and have a cup of tea with me. Clearing out my desk doesn't seem so very important right now."

…

Despite the afternoon traffic Kara made it back into the city from the base in one of her fastest times ever. She avoided the traffic creeping down Sixth Street by cutting through a series of side streets and even a few parking lots, getting yelled at only once by the attendant as she skimmed past the gate with inches to spare.

She pulled into the parking deck at the Medical Center and found the first place large enough to squeeze the bike into. On her way across the deck she called Lee and told him what had happened, told him she might be late getting home. He said he would come down there, but she told him it would involve too much walking. She ended the call as she hurried through the front door.

The receptionist told her that Brenn was in the ICU but that she could not have visitors.

"She's asked for me," Kara said.

The woman shook her head. "Her doctor has said no visitors."

"Fine," Kara said as she glanced past the desk. "I've got to go to the bathroom before I leave. I rode a long way. Where's the nearest one."

"Down the hall on the left past the elevator."

Kara went into the restroom and watched from the doorway until the elevator door opened. She was inside in seconds. She looked at the directory. The ICU was on the fourth floor.

Kara went to the nurses' desk. "Yolanda Brenn?"

"Room 401. Someone is with her right now."

Kara walked down the hall. She didn't know what to expect. She found Keshia sitting by the bed holding Brenn's hand. There was an oxygen mask over Brenn's mouth and nose.

"Hey," Kara said softly.

Keshia stood and embraced her.

"How is she?" Kara said softly.

Keshia shook her head and pulled Kara into the hall. "She will not let the doctor put her on a ventilator. She knows she's dying."

"Dying," Kara whispered. "She can't be dying."

Keshia took her arm. "She's asked for you many times. She has something to tell you. Talk to her."

Kara went in, sat in the chair by Brenn's bed and took her hand. Softly she called her name. Yolanda's breathing was extremely labored. At first Kara could see no response and then Yolanda opened her eyes. Through the mask Kara could see a faint smile. Brenn tried and formed a word, her name, Kara. Her hand moved weakly toward her mouth but fell back on the bed. On the second try she made it. She pushed the mask aside.

"Don't do that."

"The one…named for a god…is not…dead," Brenn gasped. "I saw…him fall…but he is…not dead."

She closed her eyes, gasping from the effort of speaking that one sentence. Kara quickly pushed the mask back over Brenn's face.

"I know he's not dead. He fell into the ocean, but we found him. He broke his leg, but he's alive. We found him."

"A good man. He…loves you. The gods…have blessed him…and you. He lives."

"I know. Don't try to talk."

Keshia walked over and very gently smoothed Brenn's hair from her forehead.

"Is it true your lover fell into the sea?"

Kara nodded. "His Viper was hit. He had to eject."

"I thought she was dreaming. She has been so confused. This morning she thought we were back in Delphi. She thought she needed to get up and go to the temple where she was a priest. That monster will pay for what he has done to her."

"He's in a secret prison," Kara said softly. "He'll never leave there…alive anyway."

"That is a far better fate than he deserves."

"They have no souls. We destroyed their resurrection hub. Death for them now is eternal darkness."

Brenn struggled to speak again. "I saw a dazzle of light…a great distance…another ocean…and yet he survives."

"Yes, he did. He fell eleven miles, but he's okay."

Brenn's hand clasped Kara's with far more strength than Kara thought she could have.

"The child…must live. Very important."

For a moment Kara was confused and then she remembered the prophecy about her brother.

"Braedon is fine. Cavil didn't take him. We saved him just like you said. One of the Cylons helped us. My brother is alive. He's fine."

"The other child. His…other…"

Brenn struggled to take a breath.

"She's very confused," Keshia said. "She has spoken several times about another child. I think she's reliving something that happened in Delphi. There was a crippled child who came every day to the temple to pray for his mother. He was killed in the bombing along with one of our young priests. Yolanda couldn't save them. It has always been a source of great sadness for her."

Kara stood up so Keshia could sit in the chair by the bed and take Brenn's hand. Kara sat on the floor at the foot of the bed and drew her knees up.

"I'll wait with you. You shouldn't be alone."

"I am not alone," Keshia said. "But I thank you."

"How long have you been with her?"

"Twelve years now, nearly thirteen."

"That's a long time."

"It seems like the blink of an eye."

"Where will you go? What will you do?"

"There is much need in the city now. I will find a place to help. A homeless shelter. A soup kitchen. The gods have put me here to help others. It is my destiny. Even she saw it."

Kara looked up. Lee stood at the door.

She got up and went to him shaking her head. He balanced the crutches under his arms and held her.

"She knew you ejected from your Viper and survived. Her gift is real."

Lee's jaw worked. Ever since he had read John's letter his emotions were raw.

"I want to stay," she whispered.

"Then we'll stay together."

He could do this for her.

Carefully he moved into the room. Kara helped him slide down the wall and sit beside her. He put his arm around her and held her, the lover who had fallen from the sky and lived.

Kara sighed. Yolanda Brenn was right. The gods had blessed them both.

…

Monday was a day of cold rain. Kara drove Lee to the base in his car and helped him up the slick steps.

"Be careful on the way out to the boneyard," he told her.

"Be careful hobbling around your office. It's new territory."

He put his hand against her cheek. "Are you going to be okay?"

"You've asked me that three times already this morning. I'm fine, Lee."

The day before they had attended two memorial services…one at the base for the pilots and one for Yolanda Brenn at Elosha's temple.

Lee wasn't sure which one had been more difficult for Kara, but he knew what had gotten to him the most. It was hearing the names of fifty-six Viper pilots, four Raptor pilots and four ECOs and the last name, which had hurt more than any of the others, Major John Gallagher.

Through it all Kara had sat stone-faced, her eyes dry. Kat had starting crying when Chuckles name was read. Even Hot Dog had teared up. Flat Top, Narcho and Crashdown had been sitting in front of them and Lee had seen Saunders twice lift his hand to his face and wipe his eyes. Karl was on the other side of Kara, but he too had sat with dry eyes. When her father's name was read, Lee saw Karl reach for Kara's hand and squeeze it.

The base chaplain had spoken of the rewards of Elysium and had read a brief scripture. A Colonial hymn had been played by pipers. Outside there was a twenty-one gun salute, and it was over.

After the ceremony Lee and Kara had walked with Karl out of the chapel into the late afternoon sunshine. Lee had seen Maggie look at them, her face like Kara's, unmarred by tears but unlike Kara, her eyes were dark and cold.

Sharon was still being held somewhere, but his father had assured Lee that she was being treated well. What Bill had not been able tell him was when she would be released or even if she would be released.

Now as Lee prepared to go back to work for half a day, he hoped he would get a chance to talk to Major Parker about the questioning of the skinjobs.

"I'll be back to pick you up at lunch," Kara said.

She turned the car around and headed back to the I-6 and the ten-mile drive farther north to the boneyard. The rain on the windshield made her think of tears. The gods wept for the dead and especially for their gentle Oracle.

Kara had been able to sit through the ceremony the evening before only by numbing herself even more than she had for the pilot's memorial service. She tried to understand how the gods could have taken such a kind and good woman, how they could have let Cavil, who was evil incarnate as far as Kara was concerned, take her and imprison her. She saw Keshia, bereft and alone now, as she huddled beside them, her sobs of loss heartbreaking. And still Kara had not cried. The ice dam around her heart had not been breached.

She parked outside the boneyard's gate and ran through the rain and into the big hangar. It looked much the same as it had the last time except the path through the maze of boxes was clearly marked for her with bright blue and green, sprayed on arrows. She emerged into the whitewashed part, removed her rain gear and shook it.

Kevin Abinell greeted her. "Welcome back. It's been a while."

"Almost a year. Where can I put the jacket?"

He pointed to some hooks on the wall. "Would you like some coffee? It's a little strong."

"Sure," Kara said. She looked around. One of the Raiders was gone. She sucked in her breath and tried not to think about it. The empty space had only a short time before been occupied by the Raider her father had taken up to the basestar, the Raider full of explosives that had destroyed the huge Cylon ship. The only kernel of brightness in that whole night for her was that the basestar had been destroyed by one of its own.

Kevin handed her a Styrofoam cup.

"Two spoonfuls of cream, right? Lee told me."

"Right." Kara sipped. The coffee was hot and very strong just like he had said.

"We're getting another Raider to work on. One was found near Delphi that wasn't in pieces. The military really wants us to reverse engineer that FTL drive. Rick told them to bring us every drive they could find whether it had a ship attached to it or not."

She nodded. "So it looks like you'll have a job for a while."

"No doubt about that."

"Where's your famous Sadie simulator?"

"In the plastic room. It's easier to concentrate in there. Warmer, too. You can't take your coffee with you though. No food or drinks around the computers."

"Did you paint the blue and green arrows?"

He grinned. "For my C-Bucks."

"You won't see them play at home for a while."

"Not until somebody finds a place for the homeless people who are living in the arena."

Kara finished the coffee and looked around for a trashcan. Abinell took the cup.

"We recycle everything. These cups are ground up and made into insulation for buildings."

He took her into the plastic room and showed her the computer. It was already on.

"Lee said you played a lot of video games. This should be easy for you."

Kara grinned. "Queen of the arcade. Sometimes my dad and me…we played…" the grin faded. "He was good. If I won, I had to work for it."

Quickly Abinell oriented her to the keyboard commands. "You want to show me what you can do? Then I'll leave you alone to practice."

Kara got the Raider off the ground on the first try. She put it into a steep climb and rolled it several times. The joystick was extremely responsive. She put it into a dive, pulling out very close to the ground before she took it back up. Once she glanced at Kevin. He was smiling broadly.

"You and Lee have really different flying styles."

"You think? He's not nearly as crazy as I am."

She took the simulated Sadie high into the atmosphere and keyed a jump. The screen switched to the Prolmar Sector. She paused the simulation and turned to Kevin.

"Who did this?"

"We created it from a combination of the footage Lee shot and your father's star charts and notes."

"So you know where I'm going in this thing?"

"Admiral Adama wanted as much realism in this simulation as possible. I've been working on this almost non-stop for a couple of months now."

"Even though you didn't know where it was until recently."

"Lee let something slip one day. He mentioned the Hyperion. I looked it up."

"You didn't blab, did you?"

"Frak, no. We've been keeping all kinds of secrets out here for years. I wouldn't be working here if I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

"No offense meant," Kara said and turned back to the screen. When she glanced back, Kevin was gone.

…

Half an hour. That's all Laura had told her the memorial ceremony would last. They sat on the front row of the little temple. Lee was on one side of her and Laura on the other. Maya, who was holding Braedon, sat beside Laura. Brae was fighting sleep, trying to stay awake in these new and strange surroundings. Kara saw Maya rocking him gently back and forth, humming softly to him. Bill sat on the other side of Lee. All three of them had on their dress gray uniforms. Laura wore a new black suit and black scarf draped loosely over her hair. Maya's dress was black but her head was uncovered.

Kara resisted the urge to turn around. She knew the small temple was filling with people. She could hear them.

On the altar her father's picture sat between two candles. The flag of the Twelve Colonies was folded in front of the picture.

Lee was holding her hand, his fingers laced tightly through hers. He'd had a hard time earlier as they'd walked down the aisle to their seats. She'd seen him quickly wipe at his eyes after they sat. Then he'd taken her hand and seemed to get himself under control.

Elosha walked to the front and the soft harp and lyre music ceased. She read from the scriptures of Pythia, a passage about the promise of an afterlife in the Elysian Fields. She spoke of grief that would turn to joy when loved ones were reunited.

Kara barely heard her words. Elosha had said the same thing at Yolanda Brenn's service a week earlier. Right now the words meant nothing to Kara. They were words for the dead.

She was aware that Elosha had sat down and Bill had risen. He began his short eulogy with the words, "Caprica mourns a hero, but I mourn the loss of a friend."

Kara sat waiting for Laura to cry, watching her twist the handkerchief in her lap until finally she began dabbing at her eyes. Braedon was asleep now, but Maya continued to rock him gently back and forth, the tears running unchecked down her cheeks, dropping onto her arms and the blanket that wrapped John's son.

Colonel Winters got up and said a few words. He was followed by Colonel Burgher who choked up twice and had a hard time finishing his speech. Elosha asked if there was anyone else who wanted to speak. Kara was surprised when Buzz Jessups got up.

"John Gallagher was a hero," he said. "There's no doubt about that. But I don't want everyone to go away from here today thinking only about the sadness we're feeling…because John was a man who loved life. He loved life…and he loved to have a good time. He loved flying his Viper and he loved a good glass of whiskey and he loved beautiful women. And believe me, twenty-five years ago, John had his share of beautiful women…and in Laura Roslin, he finally convinced a beautiful woman to marry him."

For the first time, there was a low ripple of laughter among the mourners.

"I knew John on the Solaria during the First War when we both flew Vipers, and I'll have to admit that my first thought when I saw him fly was, What idiot put that crazy bastard in a cockpit? But it wasn't long until I realized that what looked like crazy was really talent and skill and guts. After the war I moved on and it was a lot of years before we saw each other again, but we did manage to get together a couple of times recently for a drink and to raise a cup to those of us Viper pilots who have gone on. The man I saw this past autumn was a very different man than the one I knew on the Solaria. He was a devoted husband and father who wanted nothing more than to go home to his beautiful wife…and his children, his daughter Kara and his son Braedon.

"I had the pleasure of teaching his daughter in Flight School. She has taken his call sign, Starbuck, and I realized how perfect that was because every time I went up with her, I could see John in the way she flew and I could hear him in the lip she gave me."

Again there was a ripple of laughter and Kara smiled. Lee squeezed her hand.

"I never met his little boy, Braedon, but John showed me a picture. In fact he took out his phone and showed me a dozen of them and my first thought was, There's a whole lot of little girls on Caprica who are in serious danger of losing their hearts one of these days. His son was one of the three lights in John's life.

"I've already raised a cup to John on several occasions and I'll continue to do so. We're alive because of his sacrifice. He and I had a minor difference once, but like a lot of us as we grow older, we found a way to put our differences aside and call each other friend. I see by everybody who's here today that a lot of you called him friend, too, and I know that's the way he'd like to be remembered, as a friend and a teacher and a husband and especially as a father."

Kara stood and slipped past Lee and the admiral. As Buzz Jessups stepped down from the podium, Kara saluted him. His eyes were red. He put his hand on her shoulder. "John was so proud of you," he said quietly.

Kara felt the first crack in the ice wall around her heart. She walked up the steps to the altar and touched the flag and then her father's picture before she turned around and looked at the mourners who had gathered.

The small temple was full. People were standing around the walls and at the back. She saw Hugh and Stacey Connelly and Fiona Nagala sitting beside Frogman. She even saw a frail Irina Hoshi seated with her daughter. Leoben stood near the door. Most of the Academy faculty was there. Lissa was there and Keshia and a lot of Kara's fellow pilots and friends, most of them John's former students. Many of them were crying.

"He was my father," she said proudly to them.

And then in front of everyone, without moving or saying another word, Kara began to fall apart, the ice shattering and splintering, the emotions held in check for so long engulfing her.

For the longest moment, no one moved, and then someone got up from near the back and made his way slowly to the end of the row and down the aisle toward the front. Dreilide Thrace, her other father, came forward and took her arm and gently led her down the steps and through the door beside the altar and into the room behind.

They sat on the cushions and leaned back against the wall. Dreilide's breathing was fast and shallow, and she knew the exertion and emotion had been hard on him.

"He's not gone," Kara said softly.

"As long as he's alive in your heart, he'll never be truly gone."

"Will you write a song for him?"

"I'll write a song for him."

"A happy song like Buzz Jessups said. My dad wouldn't have wanted anything sad. Think of him…in his Viper or holding Brae."

The shattered ice melted. Dreilide gathered her in his arms and let her cry.

"My heart has a thousand melodies inside it," he finally said. "I'll find the right one for him."

"A love song," Kara said through her tears.

He held her tightly. "That's what I write the best."

Kara was ready to give herself over to her grief, ready to tell her beloved father goodbye, when she heard Yolanda Brenn's words again, almost as clearly as if she were in the room with them.

I saw a dazzle of light…a great distance…another ocean…and yet he survives.

The epiphany took Kara's breath. Brenn hadn't been talking about Lee at all. Even in her confusion she'd been trying to tell Kara something about her father. The dazzle of light, the signature of an FTL jump. The Oracle had seen it. Kara had been right all along. Her father had jumped the Raptor inside the basestar, and the spatial displacement of jumping in a confined space had set off the catastrophic explosion. And that explosion had thrown him far beyond the ice planet. Far beyond their solar system. That's what Brenn had meant by a great distance.

Kara locked the secret in her heart. She couldn't tell anyone or they would think she was crazy. Lee would tell her she was still living in denial. Laura would babble about closure and probably try to get her to see a shrink. The admiral might pull her from the mission and it was more important than ever now for her to jump Sadie to Nereid because she now believed with all her heart that's where her father was. Brenn had seen another ocean. She had seen another world.

Kara would keep her secret and bide her time. Her father was alive somewhere on that planet and she was going to find him.