A/N: I'm skipping ahead in the story and bypassing the whole ' what the common room looks like' scene.. mostly because I have just read soooo many over the last few months and frankly I'm bored with it. So anyway, we are advancing this to one week into the new school year. On a second note, I know a couple of you weren't happy with me having Dumbledore announce the baby and thats your decision, but if you are looking for major drama in this story.. you wont find it. The reason I created this story was to kind of put something out there that didn't have the normal plot of He hates her, she hates him, they fight, they do it , profess undying love for one another in a matter of five minutes and live happily ever after. This is a happy, funny story not a woe is me story.
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During the first week back, Draco and Hermione settled into school life rather easily. Their common room was more then acceptable, their schedules were identical and mostly everyone had excepted their relationship and stopped asking questions. The only thing that was off in their lives was their Potions Master.
Snape had been watching them during meals with a smirk, almost smiling at them during class – which put knots in their stomachs, Snape never smiled and it frightened them, and to make matters worse, he seemed to know where they were at all times.
"He's doing it again." Hermione whispered to Draco as they sat in the Great Hall.
Draco looked over and sure enough, Snape was looking at them with a small smile. It reminded him of the predator watching it prey.
"Just ignore him.. it's when he gains a full smile that we worry." Draco replied back.
Hermione smirked, " I hope he acts soon – then it will be our turn again."
Draco chuckled and shook his head, "Who said we have to wait until he makes the first move. I wasn't aware of an agreement that said otherwise."
Hermione gave off a full fledged smile and looked towards Snape, "I'm in" she whispered through her smile.
After dinner, Hermione and Draco made their way to their dorm and set to planning. After two hours of trading ideas, both smiled a slytherin smirk and quickly sent out a list of supplies to George and Fred.
The next afternoon during lunch, an owl swooped down and dropped a package in front of Draco and Hermione. They quickly plucked the note from the package and read it with a smile.
Severus sat at the head table and silently cursed when he noticed the package and devious smirks across the head students faces. He knew that smirk and he silently cursed again when he realized he hadn't really planned to do anything to them other then make them crazy with anticipation – he clearly underestimated them. He left The great hall quickly and made for his rooms, he needed to floo Lucius.
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Two nights later, Hermione and Draco snuck down to the dungeons under the cover of Harry's invisibility cloak. When they arrived in the classroom, the first thing they noticed was Severus asleep at his desk – this complicated things a bit.
They snuck around the room as quietly as they possibly could, knowing that Severus would probably hex first, and ask questions later – neither wanted to be the poor soul that met his fury.
Severus watched the pair sneak around with one eye. He memorized everything they did, knowing that as soon as they left he would put everything right. He couldn't help but smirk at his little plan and how their little plot to prank him would end up hurting them in the end. He could tell by the way they were sneaking and smiling to themselves, that they had no idea that while they were down here working for nothing, Lucius was in their dorm... arranging things.
An hour later, Draco and Hermione made their way back to their dorm, completely satisfied at their latest prank. Lucius had been gone for the better part of ten minutes and was currently in the dungeons helping Severus right their wrongs.
The next morning, Draco and Hermione did their daily ritual of showering and dressing before heading to breakfast and class, completely unaware of the spells Lucius had placed on a number of things in their dorm. He took care in making sure nothing would hurt Hermione or his grandchild, but her appearance, well that was something else entirely.
Both teens knew something was wrong immediately upon entering the great hall when they noticed Lucius sitting at the head table next to Severus, both with a knowing smirk on their faces.
"I think our pranks are a bust." Draco whispered.
"Oh I agree, I also think that we are in for it – Severus is actually smiling."
Draco turned to look and gulped, not only was Severus smiling but his father was also wearing a full blown smile as well.
"Should we run for it." Hermione whispered.
Draco's mouth dropped open and he shook his head, "It wouldn't do any good... it's already happening."
Hermione quirked her eyebrow and wondered why Draco was trying to pull her robes over her head quickly.
"Oh shit, whats wrong with me." she asked , realizing that something was happening to her.
"Ummm, well." Draco stated, trying his best to not look at her and get her out of the great hall quickly, "Your hair is well... a bit frizzy and in case you haven't noticed, you are gaining weight at an alarming speed... uhh, did I mention you have acne?"
Hermione was completely horrified at what he was saying and by the look on his face, she knew he wasn't lying. They rushed towards the doors and to further the problem, the door was spelled to not let them out – they were trapped and everyone was looking at them.
Draco felt a sudden tingle and almost had a fit. He may have changed but he was still protective of his appearance.
"Sweet Merlin hide me." he yelped, trying to get behind Hermione's ever expanding backside.
Hermione let out a sudden gasp as locks of Draco's beautiful blond hair dropped to the ground in clumps.
Draco screamed, like a girl, and didn't care in the least of how girly he had just sounded. He quickly dropped to his knees and started scooping up the blond hair in a panic.
"Draco" Hermione hissed as she felt her skirt start to rip in the back, "We both have a problem and we need to find a way out of here quickly."
"My hair" he said in a freaked out voice.
"Your hair is nothing compared to the black hair that is growing through your clothes at this current moment."
Draco risked a glance at the head table and growled when he noticed that not only was everyone at the head table laughing, the students in the Great Hall were also laughing hysterically or struggling to find words.
He then looked down and noticed sprouts of gnarled black hair coving his hands, popping out of the top of his shirt and through the button holes.
"We got to get out of here." Draco said in a panicked voice. He noticed Hermione's hair was quickly turning into an afro, her fingers looked like sausages and her clothes were dangerously close to ripping from her body in self defense.
"Draco... did you use my face wash?"
He nodded and his eyes went wide, "I have zits??"
"You probably look as bad as I do." she whispered as three buttons on her shirt suddenly popped off.
"Never prank a slytherin that is older, wiser and a touch more evil then you will ever be." Snape's voice rang out.
They both spun to see Severus and Lucius two feet in front of them.
"I suggest you get back to your room quickly... I estimate approximately 4 minutes before her clothes can no longer cover her body and your... body hair grows long enough to trip you." Lucius stated and with a wave of his wand, the doors allowed them escape.
"This is far from over" Draco practically yelled, still mourning the loss of his hair.
"All will be fine in two hours when the spells wear off." Lucius said with a laugh.
"And Ms. Granger, I suggest you find a very large blanket and cover yourself with it." Severus added, knowing that she would balloon up to around 400 lbs before the spell wore off and put her right.
Both teens took off as fast as they could, they were humiliated enough and didn't need everyone to see the final results of the spells.
A/N: Prank ideas are always welcome...