A/N: This is for Painelust. Lol

kkkkkkkkkk

Lucius was running as fast as he could, trying to get away from the Potions Master. He liked Severus, he really did... just not like that.

"Lucius My love, stop running from your feelings – I love you." Severus yelled.

Lucius finally made his way outside, shedding his robes in the process. They were weighing him down and for some reason, Severus seemed to be getting faster.

"Go play with your chemistry set or something... I'm not interested." Lucius yelled back

"But your bum is so enticing... Like two milky, white globes, begging for my --"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Lucius yelled as he shuddered, picking up hit pace a bit.

The four laughing teens made their way outside, followed by almost everyone else in The Great Hall – professors included. They were sure they would never get to see something like this again and didn't want to miss the show.

"Your hair looks like gold in this light, love, let me run my fingers through it." Snape yelled.

"You will NOT run your fingers through anything on my person." Lucius screamed, using a tree for protection.

"You cannot hide from me forever... you have to face this eventually – just give in to your feelings and love me."

Lucius gagged and looked for an escape route. He'd have to shower for a month solid, definitely get Narcissa pregnant, and hang out in the manly places possible to get the gay off of him if Severus managed to catch him.

"Go away" Lucius yelled

"Never... I could never be away from you." Severus said as he pulled his wand.

Hermione and Draco grabbed theirs too, they could remove the spells easily and hadn't counted on Snape using his wand to actually catch Lucius – they stood on guard for damage control.

"W-what are you doing?" Lucius asked in a panicked voice.

"Just getting whats mine." Severus said sweetly and raised his wand. "Accio Lucius."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Lucius screamed, "Hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllpppppppppppp, anyone... I'll pay you... just, just Help."

Ron and Harry were practically crying with laughter, but Hermione and Draco started to walk closer to the pair – there was no telling what would happen when Severus had Lucius in his grasp.

"I knew you would come my love." Severus whispered in a seductive voice as he held a frightened, squirming Lucius.

"Severus.. dear friend... Lets talk this over... see if we cant work this out with me getting hurt, hmmm?"

"I'd never hurt you... much." Severus replied with a smirk, "And dear Gods your squirming is driving me mad."

Lucius froze solid, he wouldn't move a muscle for anything at this point.

"HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP" Lucius yelled once again.

"SHHHHH, I'll be gentle" Severus reassured as he lowered his mouth to Lucius, who was once again struggling with all his might.

Severus reached Lucius's lips and Lucius panicked. From a distance, all you could see were Lucius's arm flying about wildly and his legs pushing into the ground trying to get away.

"You get Severus, I'll get my dad." Draco stated and both raised their wands, ending the spell immediately.

Within Seconds, Severus opened his eyes and looked down to the startled gray ones that were looking around wildly.

"Ahhhh" Severus yelled, dropping Lucius to the ground and started spitting.

Lucius backed away from Severus, "It was those kids... those damned kids." Lucius spat, noticing Hermione and Draco backing away slowly.

Severus was busy wiping his tongue on his robes, really, really wanting some mouth wash and an entire bottle of fire whiskey.

"I'll get Granger... you deal with that.. that spawn of yours." Severus answered.

"Remember to be gentle... she is carrying the Malfoy Heir."

"I'm not stupid... but they must pay... they turned me queer." He seethed.

Lucius stood from the ground, "She's easy to catch... but she likes to zig zag." Lucius warned.

"Ready?" Severus asked

"get them." Lucius replied and both took off in a run towards Draco and Hermione.

"SHIT" both yelled in unison and started to run as fast as they could. They knew running would stall their capture but they also knew the two angered me would catch them.

Lucius finally managed to release his wand and fired a stunning spell at Draco, knocking him on his butt. Lucius got a hold of him before he even had a chance to recover.

"Think that was funny boy." Lucius yelled, "You two are in for it now."

About twenty feet away, Severus swooped in like a great bat and scooped Hermione up.

"Alright little Gryffindor... Turn me into a poof will you." he stated as he carried her away, followed by Lucius who was dragging Draco behind him.

"I'm pregnant... remember that." She warned , hoping he would just let her go. She wasn't thrilled with him carrying her bridal style through the school.

"I'm aware and your child will be safe... but you my dear, have something coming to you." he replied through gritted teeth.

The four made their way through the school and down to the dungeons. Hermione and Draco were taken into the Professors private quarters and were practically thrown on the couch, well Draco was, Severus sat Hermione down gently.

"You two have made your beds this time." Severus growled, pacing back and fourth as Lucius poured two large glass of fire whiskey. He would probably stay drunk for a week after this.

"You dare turn me into a Nancy in front of the entire school." he seethed, "And you two will pay dearly for that."

"Not to mention you have scarred me for life." Lucius added, "No offense" he said to Severus.

"None taken... I will be visiting a brothel some time in the next few hours to regain some masculinity."

"Oh, come on... it wasn't that bad, just one little kiss." Hermione said innocently

"I... do...not...like...men." he growled and Lucius Shuddered.

Severus raised his wand towards Draco and wordlessly cast a spell, changing Draco clothes into a bright pink dress with lace and ruffles.

"It will not come off for two days... so don't try." Snape said with a smirk as Draco's face froze in horror.

"You cant do this!" he yelled, "Theres a dress code."

"Which you will be excused from." Severus replied before turning to Hermione.

"And for the little Gryffindor." he waved his wand turning Hermione's clothes into an exact copy of his own with the exception on bright white letters across the front of the robes saying "I love my Professor so much I even dress like him."

Hermione yelped, "You can be serious?"

"Oh but I am and you will wear it proudly for two days."

Draco looked to Hermione who was already looking to him, "I don't have the legs for this dress."

"Thats for sure." Hermione replied, pulling on the tight collar on her neck.

"Dismissed" He said with an evil smirk

They didn't need to be told twice and took off out the door.

Lucius turned to Severus, "Well, good luck at the brothel... I need to pay a visit and impregnate my wife to get some of my pride back."

Severus nodded, "You do that."

And with that, Lucius stepped into the floo and disappeared in a whirl of green flames.

Severus then went to the bathroom, turned on the water as hot as it would get, and stepped inside, trying to wash Lucius from his person.