Author's Note – Hey there guys. Thank you so much for all your wonderful feedback, PMs and story alerts. You all make me smile. As I got to the second half of this I realised I'm not done with this story so there is definitely a part 3. I know I'm not always quick updater, in fact judging by the recent weeks I'm a very slow updater but my words and ideas are flowing much easier now so hopefully my muse is back on track.
Enjoy!
Where I Stood
Chapter 2 – Forgive Me
There are moments in our lives when we are truly tested. Sometimes they are big, earth shattering moments where we are forced to question and evaluate who we are and what has got us to that point. Sometimes they are more subtle but no less pivotal or influential. And it is in these moments where we truly learn who we are and who we want so desperately to be.
"I'm pregnant Luke," her voice was barely audible over the crashing waves of the ocean as she uttered the life altering statement. He stared at the girl he unquestionably knew was the love of his life and he honestly couldn't think of the right words to say. For a man whose craft was the written word he'd have thought he would instantly have the answers. However his mind was completely blank as to what might eradicate his shortcomings and simply make everything alright again.
As he had stood speechless all the resolve that she'd held broke as she lowered her defences and uttered her plea for forgiveness. "I made a mistake, I know that now." Lucas moved slowly towards her and pulled her into his tight embrace in an attempt to shield her from the world. Protecting Peyton Sawyer and healing her pain was just what he did. He didn't truly believe he'd ever be done saving her. He didn't believe he'd ever be done wanting to save her.
"Come sit down with me" he requested and gently took her hand into his. Her hand fitted perfectly into his own and that fact wasn't lost on him. They'd always fitted so perfectly and so seamlessly together. Haley often described them as twins or two peas in a pod. They were two people who were simply destined to be together. It was as though even as they made mistakes and misjudgements in their lives that meant they were apart; life itself intervened and threw them back together.
Lucas's eyes travelled over her delicate curve of her stomach and he felt a smile playing at his lips. Peyton was carrying his child. In that moment he allowed himself to imagine a perfect beautiful little girl with blonde ringlets, a little button nose and sparkling green eyes. He allowed himself to imagine once again everything he had ever wanted and ever needed being right there before his very eyes.
Him and her.
And now their unborn child.
It should have been that simple. And yet a heavy and awkward silence hung between them. Lucas's mind soon swam with so many conflicting emotions, unanswered questions and a wounded male pride. What seemed so right was clouded by their actions and mistakes.
She wanted the baby.
What should have been the realisation of a dream come true was tainted by a hurt he'd carried around with him for the past six weeks.
Peyton stared down at her lap as she idly fidgeted with her hands. The quiet uneasiness between them was far worse than him raising his voice at her. The last time he hadn't truly been able to convey his feelings to her had resulted in her waking the next morning alone in a hotel room. She didn't want that to happen again.
"Luke," she began in a stammering voice. "Please talk to me."
"Is the baby....Is it mine?" Lucas's voice immediately hit a stop. He hated himself all over again in those few misjudged seconds. Of every possible way he could have started their conversation this was the worst. He knew in his heart the baby was his. He watched as her eyes locked with his own and they burned with a fresh hurt that once again he'd subjected her too.
"I can't believe you'd even....," her voice was shrill and she let the words pass her lips bitterly. "Yes Lucas. Yes the baby's yours." She guessed she didn't really blame him for asking the question. He had a right to know; though the way she felt in her heart and the love she still carried for him made her wonder how he could ever doubt for a second that she could do that to him. Or to them.
"I'm sorry," he murmured in shame.
She let out a deep shaking breath determined to bring his buried feelings to the surface. "I'm twelve weeks along," she informed him. "I guess when you came to LA the time before we broke up," her words stuck in her throat and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes again.
"How long have you known?" he asked feebly.
"A few days...."
"How have you been feeling? I mean with the morning sickness and all?"
"I'm ok. I've had some sickness." She sighed heavily. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. She had hoped that the baby would instantly reconnect them and erase all their errors and confusion. Though she knew it wouldn't truthfully be that simple and the news instead left them stumbling uneasily around so many unresolved issues.
"But you and the baby?" his beautiful soulful eyes shone with a look that was both boy friendly and showed fatherly concern. "You're both ok?"
"Yeah we're ok," Peyton said feeling the sparks of hope ignite once again in her soul. He was still her Lucas despite the fact that they had hurt one another. He was still the sweet boy who'd protected her unconditionally; who would always be there for her. "The doctor says we're both doing fine. The baby's healthy. I have to go for a check up in a couple of weeks if you want to come?"
"Sure. I'd like that." He threw her a sideways glance and watched as she shivered a little against the cool air. "Look why don't we go back to the house."
"Well I'm staying at a motel," Peyton replied.
"Don't be silly," Lucas told her. "I'm not going to let you stay in a motel. Come on."
Lucas stood first and reached out his hand for her and Peyton took it gratefully. These were the first shaking and tentative steps towards reconnection. She fell into step beside him as they walked the familiar streets. They talked about Lucas' publishing deal and the up and coming book tours, about Nathan and Haley and all she had missed. Despite the fact that Peyton had gone to LA to escape so many painful memories, as she walked hand in hand with the man she loved she felt oddly sentimental. The landmarks of their home town spread a long forgotten calm within her.
As they entered the house and stepped into the hallway Peyton was greeted by a harassed looking Haley as she held and tried to console a screaming Jamie.
"Peyton?" Haley exclaimed with both question and surprise. She continued to jiggle her baby boy against her chest. "Hi."
"Hey," Peyton uttered with a small waving gesture of her hand before Lucas scooped Jamie from the young mother's arms so the two girls could embrace.
"Peyton's going to be staying with us for a few days," Lucas explained to the perplexed look Haley gave him from over Peyton's shoulder before the girls then broke apart.
Peyton's gaze soon landed back onto Lucas and Jamie and felt her heart skip a beat as she watched the flushed red face of the toddler. They'd all joked the Jamie closely resembled Lucas and that fact wasn't lost on Peyton.
"I'm sorry," the brunette said as she took Jamie back. "He's been like this all morning. He won't stop crying no matter what I do."
"Do you want me to try," Lucas asked automatically. He had promised to always be the dutiful uncle just like Keith had been to him.
"No, no," Haley waved him off. "It's fine. You two should talk. I'm going to take Jamie upstairs and try to get him off to sleep."
With Haley gone and Jamie's distraught wails becoming more distant from down the corridor the awkwardness set in once again between Lucas and Peyton. With all the obvious and comfortable subjects covered Lucas murmured something about showing her to her room so she could get settled and she followed him upstairs.
"You can take the guest room," Lucas said. "My room's just down the hall."
"The guest room?" Peyton repeated sadly. She felt her guard lower and her irritation rise as he offered her the guest room. She knew really she should have expected it. They were in uncharted waters as they struggled to deal with their shortcomings and the knowledge that everything was about to change because of the baby. It was perhaps unrealistic for her to think that everything would simply fall back into place.
"It's going to take some time Peyt," Lucas tried to rationalise as he saw her face contort with an expression of sorrow.
"Yeah? Well I'm sorry but I'm pregnant," she scoffed as her hormones and the situation got the better of her. "So you don't have that much time."
"Ok. You know what Peyton," Lucas retaliated. "You can't come here and just expect everything to be the same."
"You're right," she uttered bitterly; trying to battle with the fact that she now felt both foolish and rejected. "You left me. I was silly to think things would be that simple."
"Don't," he warned.
"Don't what?" she said harshly.
"Just don't," he replied and he moved towards the door.
"Ok you know what? You hurt me Lucas." Her voice rang high pitched in her own ears as she struggled to maintain some semblance of composure. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. "How could you just leave me like that? Leave me to wake up and find you gone? Leave me without even trying to listen to the reasons why I wasn't ready to get married?"
"I did listen," his voice rose to match the anguished tones of her own. "I listened to you as you came up with excuses to push me away. I listened. I asked you to marry me and you said no. You said no Peyt."
"I didn't say no," her tone was laced with wounded frustration. She struggled to remain hopeful that their love was still salvageable as they danced the same steps of the fateful night she so desperately wished she could forget. "I said that I loved you. That I did want to marry you someday. I said someday Lucas. And you know that's the truth."
Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation as he was forced once again to relive those moments. "I can't do this," he murmured hopelessly.
"I just wanted you to wait for me. I gave you my heart. I wanted everything with you. And I still do. I was just scared and confused. You came to LA and it was just so sudden. It seemed so out of the blue."
Lucas shook his head. It wasn't sudden for him. He'd dreamed of marrying Peyton since the first instant that he'd seen her all those years ago when she didn't know he'd even existed.
"For me it wasn't sudden Peyt," he tried to remain calm but his disappointment was rising within him. "I missed you every single day. I'd watch Nathan with Haley and Jamie. All I could ever think about was that was what I wanted for us. I wanted it more than getting my novel published. Far more than anything I'd ever wished for in my entire life."
"I never thought you could do that to me Lucas. I thought you were the one person who would never leave me." She brought her hands to her face before she broke down crying harsh bitter tears.
Lucas stopped himself when he saw how hard she was trembling. The modest ounce of strength that had been holding her together since she'd arrived now disintegrated before his eyes. He knew once again he had weakened her. And he felt more shame than he could bear.
"Peyt," he uttered as he reached forward but she shrugged him away.
She was stubborn and he loved and hated that about her in that heated moment. With his shoulders hunched and admitting defeat; Lucas exited the room leaving Peyton in a fit of sobs.
"You know what Luke," Peyton called out wounded from behind him. "Leave, it's what you're good at." She crumbled into a heap on the mattress wondering if she had lost the love of her life forever.
--x--x--x--
Several hours after their argument Peyton laid the sleeping Jamie carefully and gently into the crib and covered his tiny body with the woollen blankets. She stroked her fingers over the incredible softness of the little boy's cheek and couldn't help but smile. Jamie's eyelids were so delicate as they lightly rested shut together. She was mesmerised by the innocence and beauty of the child. Someday, someday very soon, she was going to be a mother herself. That thought both thrilled and terrified her.
"Hey," Nathan whispered as he crept into the nursery.
"Hey," Peyton said matching his hushed tone and pressing a finger to her lips. "He finally fell off to sleep."
"Thank you. Though you didn't have to...." Nathan told her gently. He'd felt bad as Jamie had continued to cry and scream freely despite all Nathan and Haley's efforts to calm him. Peyton had volunteered to step in and after what seemed like an entire day Jamie's wails had been hushed into sweet soft breaths. He knew she would want to though. He remembered back to the days when he and his wife had been expecting Jamie and Haley had agreed to babysit in order to prepare for being a mother.
"No. Its fine, I wanted to." Peyton continued to stare down at the miniature person lying peacefully in the crib. "He's really beautiful Nate."
Nathan's face shone with the unconditional love and pride of a father completely besotted with his child. "Yeah he's amazing."
"I'm sorry," she offered then. "About me and Lucas fighting earlier."
"You don't need to apologise. Congratulations by the way about the baby." Nathan laid a supportive hand on her shoulder and gave her a kind smile. The younger Scott brother took a moment to really look at her. She was still the same tall slender girl she had always been with her hair still a mass of untamed tousled blonde locks and deep green eyes. But she was different. Her eyes shone with a hurt that she desperately tried to mask. Her heart was torn and she seemed so broken.
"I didn't plan on you guys finding out like that." She had hoped that she and Lucas would tell their friends and family about the baby together.
"So is Lucas back?" Peyton asked hopefully.
"No, not yet," Nathan told her regretfully as he watched the shadows of disappointment etch across her features. He understood his elder brother harboured pain and anger towards Peyton and Nathan could understand why. He knew all too well what with past experiences with Haley what it felt like to be left behind as Haley pursued her dreams and desire to be a singer. He empathised with Lucas but he also now had the benefit of knowing that plunging in darkened bitterness only made himself and all those around him miserable.
"He'll come around Sawyer," Nathan uttered reassuringly. He couldn't help but feel protective over Peyton. She was his best friend. They'd been close in a whole other life time. She'd stuck by his side as his girlfriend as he'd mistreated her because she'd cared too much to walk away even though she should have. She'd helped him through the days when he and his own wife had been separated and had given him the hope that someday Haley would come back. She'd been the one to warn him that sometimes he needed to be selfish and follow his dreams so he didn't become embittered like his father. Peyton Sawyer had a heart of gold.
"I hope so." He watched as her arms wrapped around her frame and she tried in vain not to cry. "I just need him to talk to me. Or yell at me some more. Just anything but the silence."
Nathan pulled Peyton into his arms feeling a sudden surge of resentment towards his brother. Lucas should be the one here comforting his now pregnant girlfriend and not putting her through more anguish.
"It's going to be ok," he whispered into her curls.
"Yeah," her hand grazed the little pouch of her stomach. "I just wish....." the words caught painfully in her throat as she uttered the undertones of her own regret. "I just wish I'd said yes. If I could go back and do it over I'd say yes."
"Why didn't you?" Nathan asked gently. He thought he already knew the answer, or at least partially, having made mistakes along the way with Haley as both of them tried to adjust to life as a married couple in High School and become the people they'd grown up wanting to be.
Peyton bit her lip as she tried to process her thoughts. "I guess I got scared. I didn't really think we were ready. I mean Lucas has his book and college and I was still in LA. We're still trying to chase our dreams. It just all seemed so sudden and.....But then I guess I can't really blame Luke right?" Her tone betrayed the cynical undertones of her thoughts as she replayed each and every time Lucas had wanted to take their relationship to the next level and her fear of being abandoned meant she'd run from him. "I mean every time he reaches out to me I pull away."
"Hey," Nathan said. "Don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself Peyton. You told me that remember? Back on that class assignment in Senior Year? You told me that sometimes I needed to put myself and my dreams first. And you were right. I want what is best for Haley and for Jamie and I always will. But I also know sometimes there's nothing wrong with wanting something for me too."
"Yeah I remember. I'm just really scared that we can't make it past this."
"It is going to be ok Peyton. Lucas is stubborn. But once he's done nursing his pride he'll come around. I know he will. He wants you. And the little you," he indicated affectionately to her small bump.
"You think so?" she uttered needing reassurance from the Scott brother even if Nathan wasn't necessarily the Scott brother she wanted to hear the words from.
"I know so," Nathan stated matter of factly as he pulled Peyton back in for a hug.
"I really missed you Nate," she drawled as they broke apart and he saw the first genuine smile she'd worn since she'd returned cross her lips.
"I missed you too Sawyer," he replied warmly.
"You're a good guy Nate," she continued.
"Haley did a good job on me huh?" he joked making her laugh.
"Yeah she did," she played along but she was more serious then. "You've come a long way. You're turning into the guy I knew you could be."
"We change and become better for the people we love," Nathan said staring back down at his son's sleeping body huddled in the swaths of blankets. He knew from the benefit of experience that there was nothing he wouldn't do for his young family and he knew that Lucas would come around to the same conclusion. Or at least he hoped Lucas would.
--x--x--x--
Someone once told me that so many people die with their music and light still locked inside them. All too often that is because we are afraid. Afraid that if we take a risk or a chance we may be left rebuffed and disappointed. We are always getting ready to live our lives and take that gamble instead of simply just living them. We hold onto bitterness, to pain and regret. And then before we know it time runs out.....
Lucas stood on the basketball court staring down at the concrete. If the light hit the ground just right he could still see the signatures of the idealistic High School students shining through the hard ground. The captured mark of hope and intensity of the people he and his friends had been mere months before. He'd felt so alive back then; so certain of a future forged by love and the will to succeed.
He guessed he couldn't hold Peyton's reluctance to commit against her. Not really. Ever since he'd known her she had been the girl who'd lost her mother at such a tender young age. She'd been forced to grow up far too fast. And he'd always loved that she would let him in more than most other people in her life. He loved that she would let herself need him more than anyone else. But even though Peyton trusted him he knew from experience she would sometimes falter.
This is what she had done when they were just sixteen years old and he had wanted her to promise him forever. Her first instinct was always to retract back into her shell for fear of being left disappointed, hurt and alone. In retrospect, as much as it pained him to admit, he knew her reaction to his proposal was at least partly a panicked gut reaction from her.
"Hey," the sound of his best friend's voice stirred Lucas from his inner most thoughts and he lifted his head to see Haley James Scott approach him.
"Hey," he replied casually though his eyes roamed his surrounding as he attempted to find something to focus on. He knew all too well that if Haley had taken the trouble to venture from her son and follow him down to the court then she wanted a private talk. A private talk away from their home's disturbances and away from Peyton.
"So you want tell me about what's going on between you and Peyton?" Haley decided to approach the subject of the argument straight on as she knew Lucas would choose to avoid it for as long as he possibly could.
Lucas inhaled deeply. "Peyton's pregnant." he uttered the statement as he squinted against the low setting sun. They'd been best friends ever since they could remember. Haley had always been the voice of reason; the one he'd come to when he needed to make sense of things.
"Yeah we heard. Come on let's sit down," Haley said gently and she gestured to the bleachers and the expression on her face betrayed her friendly concern. He looked so lost and uncertain and her heart went out to him.
Lucas followed her over taking a seat beside the petite brunette and tried to avoid her burning gaze. He let out a long audible sigh and gave a slight shake of his head. In truth he didn't want to talk about it but considering the whirlwind of confusion the past weeks had brought he needed to.
"You know," Lucas began with the faint glimmer of a smile. "Ever since Peyton told me she's pregnant all I've done is picture our child. I know the baby's going to be beautiful."
Haley smiled at the sentiment. She knew how distraught Lucas had been ever since he and Peyton broke up. In spite of his pretence that he was doing fine she had seen how broken he was. She always tried to be a good source of support for him and she attempted to help him heal and move on. She knew however that her best friend's heart still yearned for Peyton and only their reconciliation would right him.
"So what do you want to do about Peyton and the baby?" Haley chanced asking the question.
"I don't know what to do anymore Hales. I really messed things up." He fixed his stare back down at the hard ground. He felt if he said anymore he would break down and slip into the pit of confusion he'd barely been bracing himself up from after he had returned from LA.
Haley reached out a comforting hand and placed it on his shoulder. "I know its hard Luke. But she's here now. You need to talk to her. You have a baby to think about." She knew all too well what it was like to be pregnant and uncertain of the future.
"I just don't know if it's really that simple," he said regretfully. He hated that he couldn't let go of the embittered anger he carried with him. "We're still the same two people we were in that hotel room when she said no. I want to move past it Hales. I do but I don't know any more if we can."
"No one said it was going to be easy. And ok, don't hate me for saying this but I kind of know where she was coming from Luke," Haley said then causing Lucas to raise his eyes and focus back onto her. "Remember when I went on tour and me and Nathan were apart?"
"Yeah I remember," Lucas replied.
"I needed to do it. I needed to go and chase my dream because it was part of who I am. But I hurt Nathan and it almost destroyed our marriage. All I am saying is no matter how great the shows were I also know none of it mattered without Nathan. And when I came back it wasn't easy. It took time to rebuild that trust between us. But we both worked really hard. None of it matters Luke if you're not with the one you love. None of it."
Lucas smiled. He remembered all too well how hard it had been for both his best friend and his brother but they had beaten the odds when everything was against them.
"You've loved her since we were kids," his closest friend went on to say. "I remember every single year you'd predict that you two would be together. It's a whole history and sometimes it's hard. But it doesn't mean it isn't worth fighting for."
Haley gave him a gentle pat on the knee before pulling herself back to her feet. "She's worth fighting for. And you know it."
--x--x--x- -
The world was so still. It was peaceful and subdued; the blanket of darkness had long since set in and covered over the day. It was well past midnight, calmness reigned and everything was resting. Everything that was except for Peyton. She was restless and couldn't sleep. Her mind couldn't shut off knowing Lucas was still not home.
She shifted onto her side as she stared out through the window into the night. Her eyes became fixed on the rain drops glistening on the glass. Her heavy eyelids stung with more tears that threatened to return. She drew the covers up over her shoulders as she felt a chill of doubt once again spread through her. She lay fitfully trying to decipher her tangled thoughts from the mass of hurt that consumed her. With every passing minute that he didn't come home she fell further into the fear that he would never come back to her. That she had made a mistake in coming back to Tree Hill and had only caused herself more hurt.
Peyton heard the click of the front door and the soft distinctive footsteps up the stairs and they began to echo towards her room. She craned her head in the direction of the door and it shifted open. Lucas's silhouette came into view.
"Hi," his voice was hoarse and unsure. "Can I come in?"
She nodded mutely pulling herself up into a seating position with a gentle rustle of the comforter.
"I'm sorry if I woke you," he told her. She watched as he approached slowly. His eyes never leaving her own and she felt a slight deep in the bed as he sat down.
"I wasn't asleep," she replied with a shake of her curls.
"Peyton, are you ok?" he asked worriedly. She looked so fragile; her eyes betrayed a vulnerability that lay brimming just below the surface.
"I can't....I don't want to do this without you. I need you. We need you," she confessed to him in quiet earnestly.
"Hey. You won't have to." Lucas took her hands into his own. "I promise."
"I just thought that you...," she struggled to speak at the choking build up of emotion. "I thought I'd lost you."
"You could never lose me. I still love you Peyt," he told her then; provoking a sound that could only be described as a half laugh half cry. "I never stopped loving you."
"Luke when you proposed I got scared," she looked down at their entwined fingers as she attempted to explain. "I got scared because it all seemed too soon but I do want us. I do want forever."
"It hurt when you said no Peyton. I wanted more than anything I've ever wanted in my life for you to have just said yes. But I was selfish," Lucas admitted out loud. He knew in order for them to move forward he needed to cleanse himself of all the hurt and pain. "I was selfish just coming to LA and springing everything on you the way I did. I don't regret asking you because I really wanted to marry you and I still do. But I shouldn't have walked away like I did." He paused momentarily as a lump formed in his throat.
"It just got so hard Peyt," Lucas declared as he stroked her knuckles with his thumb. "It was hard being here in Tree Hill with all the memories and the history it holds for us. It was hard being surrounded by everything that reminds me of you. It sounds crazy but it made it so much worse. It made me miss you more because everything made me think of you."
Peyton nodded sadly. She knew that feeling all too well. So many of her favourite songs were tied to treasured moments they'd shared together. Tracks that she had loved for years would instantly spark tears in her eyes and sometimes when she'd missed Lucas too much she wouldn't listen to their favourite songs in fear of crumbling. "I know," she muttered under her breath.
"And seeing Nathan playing college ball and getting his life back on track," Lucas went on to confess. He needed her to understand fully why he had proposed. "I'd see him with Haley as they struggled through this first year of college and it hasn't been easy for them. But they're happy because they're together. At the championship when we won and we were celebrating all I could think about was how I wanted you there. And yeah I want you with me more than anything. Nathan's trying to live his dreams whilst having a family." Both sets of eyes fell to her pregnant stomach at that moment; to the most sacred symbol of their love and unison. "I guess I wanted that too. And I got scared that I would lose it. But I don't want to lose it now either."
"Me either," Peyton tightened her grip on his hands.
"I still want you Peyt," he said moved his hand from hers and lifted her chin so her eyes met with his. "I want you and our baby. If you'll still have me?"
Peyton merely nodded as she felt her throat constricting despite the fact that those were the only words she had wanted to hear since she'd arrived back in their home town.
"Forgive me," Lucas requested sincerely as Peyton remained silent. Slowly he raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. Any doubt that may have lingered in her mind faded as he brought his lips to hers. His kiss was soft and unsure; fuelled by both promise and passion.
Peyton let him as her eyelids fluttered gently shut and she blinked back the tears. Kissing Lucas again invoked so many feelings within her. Being with him always made the rest of the world fall away and she felt safe once again. Being with him was innate and perfect.
"I'm so sorry," Lucas murmured through his own tears as they broke apart. He'd do anything to just make everything alright between them again.
"Just hold me," she requested in a faint whisper. "I just need for you to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright."
She'd been so afraid of forgetting what it was like to be held by him. She relished how his body would so completely surround hers; to the point where she wasn't sure where she ended and he began. When she was in the arms of Lucas Scott she felt as though she had the strength of two people.
Love isn't always easy or simple. It isn't rational or logical. It just is. It can bring immense joy or immense pain. It is fallible to the tests of life. But it is worth fighting for. When it real and true it is always worth fighting for.
"I like being this close to you again. It feels good, safe. Like everything's going to be ok. We're going to be ok right?" she mumbled into his chest.
Lucas's mind pondered over the choices they made, sometimes ill advisably. His book, her music career, their baby. Sometimes none of it made sense to him. But right now as their bodies lay curled into one another and he felt the rhythm of her heart beat mingle with his own he felt a clarity that he had almost left forgotten.
"We're going to be ok," he whispered into the crown of her curls and let his hand touch her stomach for the first time since he'd discovered she was going to be the mother of his child.
A/N – I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Also if anyone does read "You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory" I will be posting an update sometime next week.