Author's Note – Thank you guys so much for reading this story and the reviews I received for the last chapter were amazing so thank you. This isn't the last chapter! When writing the chapter grew longer and longer and the two parts didn't really fit. So there's an epilogue to follow, though it's already written so there won't be a long wait.
Enjoy!
Where I Stood
Chapter 3 – On a Clear Night
Life can sometimes pass us by as a series of images, the flash of choices made and people we encounter. Some moments however burn in our minds; set apart as unique and treasured. Some experiences leave such an impression engraved on our hearts. These are the moments we can never forget as they fill our lives with meaning, purpose and wonderment. These are the moments that we will never forget.
Five months later....
Lucas's chest heaved as he took another deep breath in effort to try and calm his rising anxiety. His eyes scanned the ever thickening throngs of people who had gathered in New York's largest book store. The crowd of expectant faces queued between the stacks of books; they were there especially to see him. They were there to celebrate the launch of his book and shake hands with the young author. At that thought Lucas realised he was more nervous than he had been when he had first come to New York to meet with his editors and publicists.
This was a dream come true. Sometimes during the last few months he had found himself wondering if he would get here. Now he stood safely tucked away from the crowds; behind a table covered by a white linen cloth and piles of his own book surrounded him. It was a wonderful turnout. That is what his editor Lindsey Strauss told him as his readers made their way out from the cool clear night and into the store. He should be proud, he was proud; he had worked long and hard to make this happen. Yet for him there was one thing missing. The girl who'd inspired his book. His mind fluttered from the bustling activity inside the store and to his precious Peyton. Right on a fated cue his cell vibrated in the depths of his jacket's pocket.
"Hey baby girl. I was just thinking about you," Lucas answered with a broad smile on his face.
"Hey," Peyton drawled on the other end of the line. Her voice with its slightly southern twang swept over him and instantly calmed his frayed nerves. "Please tell me all of New York City is there to see you."
She was the biggest supporter of his book. She'd been behind him all the way as he fought over the book's content with his editors. She'd told him his writing was great, that he was great and he'd loved her even more for her unconditional belief in him. The past months had been fraught with self doubt for Lucas as he experienced what it was like to have his works under the microscope and Peyton had been the one to keep him sane.
"Yeah the turn out's good. Lindsey's really happy with it. There are some press and some publicists here and a huge crowd," he informed her.
"That's great Luke. I really wish I could be there," she said sweetly. She'd wanted so desperately to go on the tour with him but given that she was now heavily pregnant they had decided against it. She had been fairly small throughout the earlier months of the pregnancy. However once she made it into the seventh month the bump seemed to grow rapidly and she'd begun to suffer from all the effects of carrying the child.
"I wish you were here too baby," he told her with a smile on his lips. He missed her almost more than he could bear. They knew this was the beginning of his career as an author; an opportunity of a lifetime but it didn't make being apart any easier. Lucas had been reluctant to leave her with her now being in the last month of pregnancy. He'd only really agreed to go because he knew that Nathan and Haley would be with her. And of course he checked in with them regularly. Despite the fact that he knew his little brother was almost as protective over Peyton and his unborn child as Lucas himself; he still worried. He couldn't help but worry.
"You're ok though? You're both ok," he couldn't stop himself from asking.
"Luke I'm fine," she brushed off his concerns quickly. She'd teased him constantly as his protective instincts towards her had strengthened throughout her pregnancy. "The baby's fine and kicking like a football player. My feet are swollen and my back hurts. But I'm fine." She didn't truly care about the obvious discomforts of being pregnant. His girl was strong and noble. She'd told him on many occasions that it would all be worth it when she held that precious life in her arms for the very first time.
"And the appointment today went well?"
"Yes everything's fine," she told him in firm assurance. However she loved that he cared so much; they'd come so far considering their relationship had been so shaky and tentative not that long ago.
"I really miss you Peyton," he told her then unable to keep those words from spilling from his lips.
"I miss you too. Now stop worrying and enjoy New York," she reprimanded him playfully.
"Ok," he answered. "I love you."
"I love you too," Peyton replied. "Bye."
Lucas hung up the phone and smiled as Lindsey approached. "You ready?" she asked.
His night passed by in a whirl of signing copy after copy of his book, meeting with people Lindsey introduced him to and smiling for the photographers. By the time the evening was coming to an end Lucas found himself feeling more energised than he had done since they'd won the state championship back in High School. Lindsey had offered to buy him a drink to celebrate and after he'd called Peyton to wish her good night the two took a cab back to the hotel.
"Tonight was amazing," Lucas said as he shrugged off his jacket and let himself collapse into one of the leather couches in the far corner of the hotel's swanky bar. The lights were low and dim and jazz music played softly in the background. "I still can't believe it." He still had such a jubilant feeling buzzing in the pit of his stomach.
"You were amazing tonight Luke. I'm so proud of you," Lindsey told him sincerely and it caused him grin even more broadly.
"Well you're the one who gave me the opportunity," he murmured in answer to the compliment.
Once the bartender had supplied them with drinks Lindsey turned on her seat to propose a toast. "I know this was your first book and it was also my first book to edit. And I had the best year doing it. So thank you."
They clinked their glasses together before Lucas took a swig of his drink and attempted to calm some of his burning elation away. He had an early start the next morning and at that precise moment he didn't think he'd be able to shut off to sleep.
"So how are things with Peyton and the baby?" Lindsey enquired after she set her drink back on the table. She liked Peyton; she'd liked her since the first time she had met the real Peyton and she put a face to the "Peyton" she'd read about in the book. And she had felt almost guilty for taking Lucas on the book tour and away from his girlfriend at such a delicate time.
"They're both doing well," Lucas said after taking another sip of his drink. "I mean Peyton's having trouble now she's at the end of the pregnancy what with being comfortable and getting up from chairs on her own. I kind of think she just wants the pregnancy over with now. But she doing good and so is the baby."
"That's great Luke," Lindsey told him earnestly. "So are you excited about being a father?"
"Yeah I am," he answered with a large grin playing at his mouth. "Sometimes it all doesn't seem real to me."
He and Lindsey had grown to be very close friends since he'd spent long hours away from Peyton and with her instead. In the early days when he and Peyton had first got back together Lucas had felt insecure that everything would fall apart despite their best intentions. Peyton had given up her job in L.A and moved back to Tree Hill as she'd just wanted them to be back together. Lucas hadn't tried to stop her as he just wanted them back together too, for all the hurt to melt away and for it to be just him, her and the baby. But he still worried that they wanted different things and that might create a divide between them once the baby was born. Lindsey had become a great person to confide these pangs of doubt to as she was more impartial than his close friends.
"Are you still worried you two made the right decision in Peyton moving to Tree Hill?" Lindsey enquired latching on to his train of thought.
"Yeah. I just can't help it. I love Peyton," Lucas declared though there was never any doubt in either of their minds that he did. Lindsey had spent a year editing a book that was a love letter to Peyton Sawyer; a love story that was now available for the whole world to be a part of. "I just...she sacrificed everything for us to be together. I just worry she's going to wake up one day and regret it."
"Walking away from her career?" the brunette asked then.
"Yeah. She's done everything to help me get my dream come true and I want her to have her own."
Lindsey stirred the ice cubes around in her drink pondering for a brief moment. "Well why doesn't Peyton start her own label after the baby's born and things have settled down?" Lindsey suggested then. "I mean you're always saying she's passionate enough to do it; that she has a head for business."
"Yeah she does. I mean she could." Back when Peyton had be working in the mail room Lucas had known without a shadow of a doubt that she was capable of so much more; that her talents were wasted on the company.
Lindsey placed a hand on his own. "Life's too short Lucas and if you think Peyton can do it then why not try and help her do it on her own. I mean you think she'd be good at it right?"
"I think she'd be great at it," Lucas confirmed with a nod.
"Then help her," the woman's blue eyes meet with his own. "You know the one thing I've learnt from knowing you and working with you is that it's important not to give up on your dreams."
--x--x--x--
At just after two a.m. in the morning Nathan laid Jamie back down to sleep in his nursery and then crept quietly along the corridor and downstairs for a glass of water. He padded onto the tiled kitchen floor and flicked on the lights.
"Hey Sawyer," Nathan said with a slight hint of surprise as he found Peyton sitting alone in the dark. "Is everything ok?" He promised to take care of Peyton in Lucas's absence. He knew that for the past few weeks it had become increasingly hard for her to settle down for the entire night; but a she drew closer and closer to the end of her pregnancy both he and Haley had become extra vigilant.
"Yeah, I'm fine," the blonde said with a weary smile. She shrugged her shoulders beneath one of Lucas's old sweatshirts. They used to drown her slender frame but now the fabric stretched tightly at her stomach. "I just couldn't sleep."
Peyton was exhausted, in desperate need of a night of uninterrupted sleep but no matter how many pillows she used to prop up her back she couldn't get comfortable enough to achieve it. She rubbed a hand over her swollen belly. "He's kicking up a storm."
Nathan smiled gently and placed a hand on her stomach to feel the life of his soon to be little niece or nephew. "So you still think it's going to be a boy?"
"Yeap," she replied with certainty. She and Lucas had chosen not to find out the baby's sex until the birth but she had managed to convince herself and most people around her that she was carrying a boy. "Scott's have boys. And I read on-line that if you are carrying a boy you burn off extra calories and I'm always hungry."
Nathan couldn't help but smirk at her reasoning. From what he could recall she'd always had quite the appetite. "You hungry now?"
"I could eat," she told him in jest.
With a nod Nathan turned and walked over to the fridge returning with a carton of strawberry ice cream, two bowls, spoons and coco-pebbles. Back when they had been dating and not fighting she'd told him it was her favourite midnight snack when she was growing up. She smiled at her best guy friend as he pulled out the chair beside her with a scrap on the floor.
"So Lucas's book tour went well tonight?" Nathan enquired as he took a mouthful of the icy treat.
"Yeah," Peyton said with a broad and proud grin. "He said he had a great turn out. There were loads of people there and the press."
"That's really awesome."
"Yeah, I just checked in about an hour ago and Luke said it went great. He's gone out with Lindsey to celebrate."
Nathan smiled feeling the waves of excitement as he watched as his older brother's dream became more real and more fulfilled. He soon saw the look of apprehension the blonde wore as she idly pushed the half melted ice cream and chocolate swirls around in the bowl.
"Ok Sawyer," he joked all knowingly. "Spill."
"It's nothing...." she murmured weakly. She avoided Nathan's deep brown eyes knowing she couldn't fool him and knowing that the slight pangs of envy she felt towards Lindsey were strikingly evident.
Peyton had felt threatened by the beautiful young editor when she had first met her. Lindsey had worked so closely with Lucas as they analysed the very essence of both Lucas's passion and his young life. Peyton knew it was foolish to be jealous, she hated that she was uncertain and jealous. She'd never been jealous and insecure with anyone else she'd ever dated but then Lucas was so different to her other boyfriends.
"Peyton," Nathan uttered with conviction. "My brother adores you. Trust me you have absolutely nothing to worry about."
"You think I'm being silly and pregnant and jealous?" She wouldn't have blamed him if he did. Ever since Lucas had begun to work the later evenings with Lindsey she'd tried desperately to blame all her insecurities on her pregnancy hormones. After all she'd cry at any sad song or tragic ending to a movie so it wasn't a far reach that her hormones would also bear impact on her judgement too.
"No, not at all," Nathan reached out to cup his hand lightly over her own. "When Haley was working with Chris on her music I got jealous. I got jealous because Chris brought out a side of Haley that I didn't."
"You're not really helping Nate," Peyton muttered despondently and stared down at the hard wooden table. Given that Chris and Haley's musical relationship had almost destroyed their young teenage marriage Peyton didn't really understand where Nathan was going with his train of thought.
"What I mean is," Nathan explained. "You have nothing to worry about because you bring out the art inside of Lucas. The book's all about you, Peyton and how much Lucas loves you. He's completely in love with you. And he's so excited to become a father."
Peyton bit her lip as she felt the telltale sign of tears and inwardly cursed her pregnancy hormones for making her such a girl. "Thanks Nathan. I just really really miss him."
"Come here," he said enveloping her into a brotherly hug. Peyton buried her face in his shirt and Nathan stroked her shoulder.
The blonde soon broke from him with a brave smile on her lips. "So anyways," she said with her eyes glittering with a new found sense of excitement. "Luke and I have been talking and we want you and Haley to be the baby's god parents..."
Nathan's face broke with a large grin. "I'd love to Sawyer. I'd be honoured." He had every intention of being the best uncle to his niece or nephew as Lucas had always been to Jamie. And he planned on spoiling the latest Scott rotten.
"Good," Peyton said decisively.
"Well I guess we should try to get some sleep," Nathan said stifling a yawn.
"Yeah," Peyton nodded in agreement. Her eyes were heavy and her swollen body ached for sleep. "I guess we should."
Dutifully Nathan reached to help Peyton up from her chair. She grunted at the obvious discomfort as she shifted the weight back to her legs but stopped abruptly as she stood upright. Nathan instantly recognised that look of joyous surprise mixed with a slight hint of fear at what was to come. Haley had worn that same look when she had first gone into labour.
"Nate," she whispered as her grip tightened on his arm. "My waters just broke. I'm having the baby."
--x--x--x--
Lucas raced through customs as the plane finally touched down in North Carolina. Only a couple of short hours ago he'd still been sitting with Lindsey celebrating his success. He hadn't expected the words that came from Haley's lips as she'd called way past midnight to say Peyton was on the way to the hospital; that she was in labour. He was a mess of excitement and disbelief as Lindsey had rushed him to the airport so he could board the next plane out.
Once he'd left the airport he jumped into the first available cab and told the driver to step on the accelerator. The cab driver must have broken every speed limit as Lucas's knee jiggled and he announced that he was having a baby. He felt such a great sense of pride. The night had been a whirlwind of success and surprises and he didn't think he'd ever felt more alive.
Haley was the first person he saw as he made it up to the maternity ward and she moved to embrace him.
"Where is she? Am I too late?" he asked through heavy short breaths after having rushed from the elevator and down into the hall. As if on cue he heard the cries of pained exhaustion that came from Peyton's room and he couldn't help but wince at what his girlfriend must be going through.
"No you're right on time," his best friend informed him with a pat on his shoulder. "Nathan's in with her. Your mom and Peyton's dad went down to the cafeteria with Jamie. And Brooke's still on her way."
Lucas nodded and made his way into Peyton's room. He found her sitting on the hospital bed with one hand draped over her large stomach and the other gripping desperately onto the hand of his own brother. She tried to breathe through the waves of agony the latest contraction caused. Nathan sat on the mattress beside her rubbed circles at her lower back. Peyton's face was flushed and her curls a tangled mess but she had never looked more beautiful. His girlfriend's eyes made straight for the door and her face broke into a wide grateful smile as soon as she saw him.
"Luke," his name tickled past her lips. She had never been happier to see him. "You're here." She tried not to cry; as great as Nathan had been all she wanted was Lucas at her side. She'd tried desperately not to think that Lucas wouldn't get there in time. Lucas made his way to her gathering her into his arms like he had wanted to do all night; even before he had learnt that she'd gone into labour. She buried her face in his chest after he'd kissed her warmly in welcome.
"Hey you think I'd miss this?" he cradled her face in his hand as his eyes locked with her own.
"I'm so glad you're here," she muttered as tears glittered in her eyes.
"Me too sweetheart."
"I think the baby's coming," she said breathlessly as stabs of pain shot through her once again. She'd been hoping and praying before Lucas had arrived that she wouldn't give birth just yet. Now however as the hurt intensified and she wasn't preoccupied with wanting her boyfriend she just wanted it all over.
"I'll go find a doctor," Nathan told them.
Lucas threw at look of appreciated thanks to his younger brother as he pulled himself up from the bed so Lucas could take over. Lucas assumed the position Nathan had taken at her side, taking her hand securely in his own.
The labour was longer than either had hoped it would be. Lucas sat beside her and the time seemed to fall away into an endless cycle. Peyton wasn't quiet as her contractions became increasingly more frequent and more painful. Lucas tried not to flinch as she cried out. He'd always hated to see her in pain; he'd always been the one able to ease and heal her pain and now he felt helpless. He knew from talking with Haley and the doctors that by him being there and whispering words of encouragement and holding her hand he was doing everything he could for her. He just wished he could do more.
"This is it Peyton," the doctor said finally after far too many hours. "Just one more push. You can do it."
"I can't," she whimpered hopelessly. She was beyond tired at this point. The length of child birth and the pain had taken its toll on her. "I can't. It hurts."
"You can baby," Lucas told her in encouragement. He stroked her clammy forehead and she continued to grasp onto his other hand with one heck of a grip for a woman clearly past exhaustion. "You're doing so good."
Peyton sobbed despondently just wanting the pain to stop. "It hurts."
"I know it does Peyt," he whispered softly as he locked his blue eyes with her emerald greens. "I know it does. But one more push and we can meet our beautiful little baby."
Peyton took a deep breath, closing her eye lids firmly together and gripped even tighter onto Lucas's hand. She pushed as hard as she could and was finally rewarded by the very first enchanting wails of their new born baby.
"Congratulations. You have a brand new baby girl," the woman doctor announced.
"You did it Peyt. We have a daughter," Lucas exclaimed as he watched the tiny wrinkled person screamed her first breaths in the outside world.
"A girl," Peyton whispered in mild amusement and surprise. She'd convinced herself and all those around her that she was having a boy. She let her head rest momentarily against Lucas's firm chest. Her body ached in new agonising ways and she felt exhaustion overtake her. Yet her mind raced with new and heightened emotions.
Lucas kissed her forehead in that loving and protective way he always did.
Peyton straightened up in the creased white sheets finding a new strength and energy within her as her tiny daughter was placed into her arms for the first time. She felt utterly awestruck as she took in the small bundle. Her eyes traced over the new born's profile and Peyton took in all the likenesses of both herself and Lucas. Everything and nothing made sense to her in those jumbled seconds as she cradled her baby.
"Hi baby," she murmured softly as she was met for the very first time with the greyish blue orbs of her little girl. All the pain and confusion she had felt throughout her life melted away as insignificant as she felt an overwhelming sense of peace, purpose, wonderment and adoration.
Lucas found his breaths caught up in his throat as he watched the mother and daughter together. He felt such a pride in the knowledge that this was his very own family. This was his very own mark on the world. Tears stung at his eyes and he didn't care. He held onto his baby's minute curled fingers; looking at the delicate golden lashes. She had Peyton's little button nose and lips and his eyes.
"She's so beautiful," Peyton said as she remained mesmerised by the new life's perfectly delicate features. Words couldn't truly convey what she was thinking and feeling at that moment. Surges of unconditional and innate love danced through her. "I love her Lucas. She's..."
"She's more than you ever imagined," Lucas finished for her.
"Yeah. Do you want to hold her?" Peyton added then as an almost guilty afterthought. She didn't think she'd ever want to let her daughter go.
"Yeah," Lucas cradled the infant in his arms and tried to hold it together as the fragile and perfect life overwhelmed him. "So what do you want to call her?"
"Anna," Peyton said quietly after a few moments thought.
Lucas smiled, "Anna. After your mom. I think that's perfect Peyton."
"It's a girl. A beautiful healthy baby girl," Lucas announced a short while later as he walked back into the waiting room to all the expectant faces. Haley and his mom both rose up immediately to encircle him in a hug and whisper their congratulations. "She's beautiful, loud and 5 lbs 7oz."
"Congratulations bro," Nathan said as both brothers abandoned any attempt at masculinity and embraced before Larry shook his hand. Larry had known since the first time he'd met the blonde teenager who stood in his kitchen with a rake in hand that he was the one who'd make his daughter truly happy.
Brooke, whose plane had finally touched down in the last hour of Peyton's labour, moved to hug him next after handing her god son Jamie back to Haley. "How is she?" she enquired about her best friend. "Can we see her?"
"She's good. She did amazing; better than me," Lucas told the brunette. "She's really tired but she wanted to see everyone first."
The group followed Lucas back into the private room where Peyton lay with the infant cradled closely against her chest. Lucas took his place back on the bed at her side draping his arm around her shoulder as everyone smiled and whispered their congratulations and cooing over how cute mother and daughter looked together.
"So what are you guys going to call her?" Brooke asked eagerly.
"Anna," Peyton said locking eyes with her father.
Peyton couldn't remember the last time her father had cried; not since they'd both said their final goodbyes at her mother's funeral anyway. But now as Larry looked down at his tiny granddaughter in Peyton's arms she saw the faint lines of tears as they slid down his cheeks. "Your mom would be so proud," he told her his voice hoarse from emotion.
"Anna Brooke Scott," the new mother said turning her attentions to her fashion designer best friend.
"Thank you," Brooke managed to get out as the tears thickened in her throat and Haley hugged her.
"She's so cute," Haley said then. "My little god daughter."
"Don't go getting any ideas," Nathan joked lightly holding their own quiet little boy.
"We should let you get some rest," Karen said gently to Peyton after holding her tiny granddaughter in her arms. Peyton nodded gratefully as the dark haired woman handed Anna back to her.
"I don't want to wake up," Peyton whispered when it was finally just the three of them left in the room and Lucas regarded her curiously. "From this dream; I don't ever want to wake up."
"You'll never have to," Lucas told her pressing a kiss in the crown of her tousled mess of hair and holding onto his baby's outstretched minuscule fist. He knew he was going to love his two precious girls for the rest of his life. Their shared secret moment forged a bond that he just knew would stand the tests of time.