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~ Chapter Four ~
"A cut to break the vein."
Emily bit down on her lip, smiling when she felt blood dripping down her chin before looking down at her arm, her hand shook as she looked from the knife in her hand to her bleeding wrist.
She inhaled a deep breath, closing her eyes as the knife made contact with her pale and scarred skin once more. A slight moan of pain mixed with pleasure escaped her mouth as she felt the sharp blade pierce her skin, her eyes opened when she felt that familiar drop of blood falling onto her lap.
She shook her head, looking down at the newly acquired wound, her eyes filled with that burning passion as she longed to make even more. She knew she couldn't though, trying to push aside the thought, she would never be satisfied.
One. More. Cut. She bites down on her lip at the thought, tasting the blood in her mouth before nodding, just one more. She makes it quickly, letting the knife slide to the floor as she lets her arm drop, her eyes fixated on the three fresh cuts she had made.
Her eyes travel towards the scars, one for each moment of pain. And she nods, she almost laughs at the way JJ told her once that she didn't flinch at anything when they were at a crime scene. She had lied that day; just like she lied every single day, "I guess I compartmentalize better than most." Yeah, right.
No Emily, she told herself, you're just better at lying. She ran her fingers through her hair before grabbing a bandage she had placed so delicately next to her just twenty minutes before.
Her hand shook as she wrapped it around, not caring about infection or anything like that; more pain? Worth it, right? She looked around the small room she had managed to hide herself in, standing up for a second before closing her eyes; refusing to let herself cry.
She was good at covering up the truth, she was amazing at lying, she was talented when it came to pretending that everything was alright. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, brushing her hair back and straightening out her clothes before pulling down her long sleeves.
She thought about the three from today; each of them symbolizing something different. One for the little girl they lost today. The second for the parents pain. The third for the hatred she saw in each of her friends eyes. And then it hit her – they were hurting just as much as she was. But, hey.. everyone has different ways of coping with it.