Two seconds. For just two seconds everything felt right; everything felt good. Kurt's heart seemed healed again. Blaine soft lips were against his and all that was wrong before seemed right again. It took two seconds for his brain to function properly and for him to pull back.
Blaine looked just as shocked as he was and Kurt suddenly felt extremely self conscious; he worried he'd made a mistake.
"I'm so sorry!" he apologised. "I can't believe I just did that. I just... I..." Kurt couldn't continue. He put a hand over his mouth and took a deep breath, willing tears to go away. "I'm sorry, I'll just go..."
"Don't go," Blaine spoke up. Kurt met his gaze and saw Blaine's soft expression. "Please don't go. Please talk to me."
"I'm really sorry I just did that, I really shouldn't have. I mean you're my best friend and you've done so much for me, but it was a spur of the moment thing and I-"
"Kurt," Blaine cut him off. "Please stop apologising; I honestly don't mind. I, erm, I've been wanting to kiss you for a while." Blaine couldn't help the blush that stained his cheeks as he admitted this.
"You have?" gasped Kurt, blinking at Blaine.
"Yeah, I just didn't think you wanted to and after all you've been through I didn't want to tell you and for you to get more upset," Blaine admitted. "And I assumed you weren't ready for anything after what happened with you-know-who."
"I assumed I wasn't either. It was worrying me so much. And earlier I had a panic moment because we were so close and I really wanted to kiss you, so I went and talked to Mercedes and she said what I really needed to hear. Alex is in the past. That's all he's going to be; my past. I shouldn't let him affect my future. One day, the hurting will stop and that might not be today, but I shouldn't let that stop me from being happy with someone else. The hurting might still be there, but when I'm with you, it doesn't hurt as much. I don't want you to think this is all because you 'saved' me or anything and I don't want you to see me as a charity case and like, pity date me or something, but I kind of really like you and I really want to kiss you," Kurt explained.
Blaine took a step closer, his face coming merely an inch from Kurt's as he gently reached for the other boy's hand and knotted their fingers together. "Then do it," he whispered.
And with that, the gap between them was closed, eyes fluttering shut as their lips reconnected. It was so much better than before; no hesitation or confusion. Their lips moved together, only emphasising the spark of electricity both of them felt soaring through their veins and making their hearts beat faster. Kurt brought his free hand up to cradle Blaine's face and he felt his strong jaw work as their lips slid carefully against one another.
It felt like it went on forever, and Kurt decided he would be happy to kiss Blaine for the rest of his life, but it had to come to a stop when breathing became a necessity. They broke apart, panting in short, sharp breaths.
"I, erm-" Kurt began, but Blaine cut him off.
"I want to do this properly," he stated, voice slightly strained from the shock and pleasure of kissing. "I want you to have the relationship you deserve. I want to take you out on a date and open doors for you and kiss you goodnight on your front porch and tell you how amazing you are. I want to be what you deserve."
Kurt lost his breath for a moment, his eyes squinting to make sure this perfect boy in front of him was real. He still had a hard time believing it sometimes.
"I-I would love to, but are you sure?" Kurt asked.
"Why wouldn't I be sure?" questioned Blaine.
"Because, I want to be what you deserve too. And I'm not. I'm not stable, I'm not fixed and it's going to take some getting used to being around someone who actually cares about me in that way," Kurt explained.
"I'll be with you every step of the way," Blaine assured him. "We'll go at your pace, Kurt. I know it's going to be different, but trust me it will be for me too. I've never done this and it's going to be a new experience for both of us. But don't for one second think you're not what I deserve. You are perfectly imperfect and I look forward to reminding you of that everyday."
"I swear you stepped straight out of a Disney movie," Kurt giggled.
"Well then, my prince. Would you give me the honour of letting me dance all night with you?" Blaine asked, offering a hand out to Kurt and placing the other behind his back formally. Kurt smiled and took his hand.
"I'd be happy to."
"You look very happy today, Kurt," Laurel, his therapist, mentioned when he stepped in for his appointment that week. She was sat in her chair, as usual, her long black pony tail resting on her tanned shoulder and her legs crossed as much as they could in her black pencil skirt. She slipped the pen she was holding on top of her notepad and folded her hands over her knees. "I take it the wedding went well?"
"It went very well," Kurt replied, taking a seat opposite her. "It went amazing!"
"Ah, something tells me that you're leaving out details, Kurt. You look too happy to simply have just had a nice time at the wedding," she accused. Kurt couldn't hold back his grin as he thought back to the wedding. The continued dancing in the cool air, the way Blaine smiled at him so much that he got crinkles around his eyes, the way Blaine kissed his hand before bidding him goodnight when he had to go home and the phone call that he got later that night, when he was laying in bed, that lasted until the early hours of the morning. "Come on, Kurt," Laurel continued. "You know you can talk to me about this stuff."
"Well, the ceremony was beautiful, as was the bride. Finn's speech was heartwarming, if not rather embarrassing at times, the entertainment was definitely the best we could have gotten and best of all, my date was perfect," Kurt gushed.
"You went with Blaine, didn't you?" Laurel asked. Kurt nodded eagerly, his grin not fading and his eyes a tad dreamy. "So I take it you guys talked? I know you've been crushing on him."
"You... what? I never said I've been crushing on him before!" Kurt gasped. Laurel just chuckled.
"Kurt, I've been a therapist for a while now. I know how to see how someone's feeling. With the way you look when you tell me about Blaine, it's hard not to see the way you feel about him," she explained.
Kurt gaped at her for a few moments before he spoke. "Well, yes, I have been crushing on him. And he was my date for the wedding and we slow danced and it was amazing. But then I really wanted to kiss him and I couldn't. I just... couldn't. So I went and spoke to Mercedes - I think I've mentioned her before; we were really good friends before everything happened - and she gave me some advice and after Blaine and I went outside, we talked, I kissed him, panicked, we talked again and ended up slow dancing for the rest of the night."
"Wow, what a night. What made you panic when you kissed him?" Laurel questioned, her gaze curious.
"I had a moment of doubt, I guess. I thought he would think I was crazy. Up until now, he's been my best friend and nothing else. He's been there for me when I needed him and he's done everything in his power to make me happy. I thought I might not be what he deserves because I'm damaged and I still need fixing, even if it's not as much as when we first met. I thought he might think that I was a only feeling what I am because I see him as someone who saved me or something like that. I do see him as that, but that's not what made me like him. It's hard not to like him, he's perfect. And then he said that he wanted to do things properly and be what I deserve, though really I think he's more than I deserve," Kurt explained.
"What makes you think that?" Laurel asked.
"He's perfect, he's everything. He's kind and smart and funny and sings like a dream and good looking..." Kurt listed.
"So are you," Laurel commented.
"I wouldn't say I'm all of those things, but that doesn't matter, because I have baggage," Kurt reminded her.
"So does he. You told me what happened with him and I know it was a long time ago and he's okay now, but think Kurt, one day that will be you. I'm sure when Blaine first went to live with his parents, he was in a similar situation that you were. Even though he was a child, he went through something traumatic just like you have been. I know it may not seem like it, but one day, you are going to be like Blaine. You're going to see everything that has happened as just part of your past. And though you may not forget it, it won't hurt anymore," Laurel said.
Kurt thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Thanks, Laurel," he said with a smile.
"It's not a problem," she replied with her own grin. "Now, tell me about your week."
Even though it had been nearly a week since the wedding, Kurt was still grinning like a madman. He couldn't help it. He and Blaine hadn't kissed again - yet - but just seeing Blaine everyday made him happy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like this. The only times he didn't were late at night, when he was attempting to sleep, but instead his thoughts crept up on him, reminding him of his doubts and his past. The nightmares weren't often, but when they were they were brutal. They usually involved Blaine and Alex. Sometimes Alex would be hurting Kurt and Blaine would be there, trying to reach Kurt and failing. But the worst ones were when Alex was hurting Blaine. Kurt would wake up with tears running down his face, crying out Blaine's name as the dream burned in his memory. He'd text Blaine, making sure he was okay, and every time Blaine would text back, no matter what time of the morning it was. Sometimes, if the dream was particularly horrible, Blaine would phone him and talk with him or sing to him until he fell asleep.
Kurt wasn't sure of many things, like when he was going to finally be over everything that happened or when his life was going to return to normal, but he was sure of Blaine and he was definitely sure of his feelings towards him.
