Harry and his dad had been away for most of the summer, Sirius finally taking long over due holiday time, taking his son to Canada. He always thought his son understood his job, and why he was away, but he had come to see Harry never did. Remus tried to tell him over the years, but he had accused Remus of trying to make him look bad, wanting custody of Harry. He had come to see Remus could see what he never did, and more, Harry would tell him and not his dad. Harry often was scared he would lose his dad, he often didn't sleep on nights his dad had a raid. He had already lost his birth parents, he could not stand to lose another, and this one he knew and loved, he would have memories if he lost him.
They had a wonderful three weeks, having a lot of fun, but finally talking for once as well. He knew he should have done this long ago and he felt such guilt, he had not known what pain his son was in. He took Harry back to the coast for a day, after school shopping, and wanted to speak to Remus, not surprised Severus was there. Harry and the man both knew the men needed to talk, and left.
Sirius couldn't look at Remus. "You were right all along, I have been a horrible dad. I allowed my anger over Severus to blind me from what you were saying."
Remus cut in. "I never once called you a bad father, don't put words in my mouth. Harry would not love you so much, if you weren't."
James and Remus were friends, but not as close as in school, when the couple died. It wasn't his wife alone who put Remus in the will, James both knew his brother and the job of an auror. He had known even without a war it was a risky job, and Sirius would not give it up, even for a child. Sirius was a bachelor for life, they always knew that, and had hoped Remus could balance that, and it may have worked, but for Sirius. Bounced between the Malfoys and his Uncle was never easy.
Sirius looked at Harry down by the water. "I am a child, I have not even a will. I mean Harry is my son, so the estate is his, but how do I not make plans?"
Remus didn't have an answer. "You always assumed Harry would end up with me or Lucius. You knew he was financially cared for."
To be honest Remus was bothered, he had never asked, he always assumed Sirius would have seen to one, when he adopted. Remus sometimes forgot in many ways, while a responsible and top auror, in his personal life, the man had never grown up in truth. In some ways he still looked at Harry as his godson, and not his son, and his work and now school, made it easy. All the time Harry spent away from him, it felt like he was the baby-sitter, and not the other way. Remus knew Sirius already felt guilt, and did not want to add to it, but he told him. The man needed to hear it.
Sirius knew he was right, and told Remus that, and that he planned to have a will made soon. For a moment, when he told Remus he would name Remus guardian, he wondered if he should just give him custody now, he was a better dad any how.
Remus stopped him." If you said that when he was little, I would have said yes, but it is too late now. He is your son, I won't let you run away from him."
Sirius nodded. "I knew you would say that, but I need to do something, I hate my son is upset."
Remus tended to think it was one aspect Sirius had in common with Lucius as a dad, they blamed every tear on themselves. In Sirius` case there was truth to the matter, but changes he could make, if he was willing to for Harry. He could work for the academy, or at least cut down in hours, he was an officer, he didn`t need to do all the street work he did, and Harry could be more at ease. Sirius was not sure which option, but Moody offered all over the years, and Sirius would take it.
Sirius spotted the other man with his son, and noticed the look on Remus. "You have fallen for him haven't you?"
Remus was a bit red but shook his head. "We have always been close, besides he and Lucius will make up. I could not compete with Lucius"
Like Severus, Sirius knew it had little to do with Lucius, and all to do with Remus. He was a werewolf, with little money, and two jobs. Lucius was not only Sev's first love, but rich, powerful, good looking and not an out cast. Sirius was like his son, torn as he loved both men, and he worried one stood to be hurt.
He told Remus before lunch. "I tell you what I told Lucius, you want him, fight for him. Lucius was his first love, but might not be his last."
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Harry had an amazing summer, both on his trip and the coast, but he had been happy to return back to school. Harry was not a total book worm, but there was a reason Harry was top of his class, and it wasn't because he was showing off. Harry's family thought he would likely be a teacher, though he was also considering healer as well, more in common with his Uncle than with his dad, in that way. Sirius was not hurt, his son already had the promise to be an auror if he chose, but his dad was a factor against it, not for it. Harry dreamed of kids one day, and he would never do to kids what he grew up like, even with a husband.
The year was off to a good start, the twins would have to face two friends on the pitch, as keeper finally opened up. Draco was reserve keeper for a year, and had the skill, so there was no need for a try out, and Harry was so happy to play with him. Their brooms had been traded in for the new firebolt, by their dads, and they were soon to make good use of them. The lions wanted more than ever to win, it was Oliver's final year, but Harry hoped for a three in a row.
The weekend before the game, was the second Hogsmeade weekend. Remus ran into Severus. "Are you heading into town?"
The man smiled. "I needed some supplies any ways and I offered to be a chaperone. I would not mind some company in town."
With his talk with Sirius on his mind, Remus was happy to come, even if he was sure he had no chance, even after a near kiss that summer. He was not even ready to admit his own feelings, and sure Sev only saw him as a friend, he would not push it. Remus had told himself he misread the moment, Severus had not mentioned it since and it must be a sine he told himself. He had no idea Sev felt the same, thinking Remus saw him as a friend, and not wanted the kiss. Lucius confused it for them both, not sure where he may come in, Sev's feelings about him.
Remus showed him a letter. "I thought Sirius may have put it off, but he kept his word about the will, at least."
Severus knew of the talk that summer. "He still has not changed work? I thought Moody was happy to help?"
Nodding, Remus agreed, but even after the summer, Sirius had yet to make good on his work promise. He was using the excuse his son was at school, and he would change before next summer, but Remus was worried it would be the same. He knew how much Sirius loved Harry, but he never really wanted to be a dad, he would not have had kids if James had lived. He did not regret taking Harry, other than feeling guilt like that summer, he truly loved his son.
Severus thought his reasoning was flawed. "He does know Harry worries about him even here. His son does not simply forget about him, ten months of the year."
Lucius' voice chimed in. "I am on him as well, and I am sure by Christmas he will do what he can. But here at school Harry does at least have more to focus on.'
They could see Harry and Draco with the twins, and knew Lucius had a point, but were surprised to find him here. Lucius of course knew what weekend it was, and made an excuse to come, his son letting it slip that Sev was a chaperone. Remus was not, so Lucius had not been expecting company. Lucius hated to admit it, and would never say it out loud, but he was jealous of Remus, and his bond with Severus.
Remus felt like he was budding in and he went to bow out. "I should run a few errands, and you know I don't like the apothecary."
Severus knew it was an excuse and stopped him."How about lunch in the Three Broomsticks when we are both done?"
Happy to accept, even if Lucius was coming, Remus took off for a bit. He knew Lucius and Severus could use some alone time, and even if Sirius would have told him he was allowing Lucius to win, Remus was not playing a game. The man was so important to him, but he would not fight over him, like two dos for a bone.
Severus cut Lucius off when he said he was hoping for lunch for two.. "Than find your son. You can't show up uninvited, and expect me to drop plans."
Lucius reminded himself Severus was right, and even if he was not, arguing would not help his cause. "I guess I will have to convince you for a real date soon."
Harry and Draco later saw the three men in the Broomsticks, and thought it looked to be the most uncomfortable lunch ever. Harry had not told Draco, but he was rooting for his Uncle, he would be happy either way as he loved Lucius as well, but he thought Remus would be the happier choice.
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Harry had been so excited about the game, he loved when they played the lions, who were their only real competition. It was also Draco's first on the team, and though no Oliver yet, even Oliver having seen him in practice, said he had promise to be better, Oliver not that good back in third year. Harry knew Draco was worried sick, it was also their captain`s final year and wanted to win for him, but Harry was sure he would do amazing. Both their dads were coming of course, Lucius coming for the past two years for his nephew, but proud to see his son play now.
Their team was up by 40 when an hour in Harry caught the snitch, and he won the game. His mood was down, he did not see his dad in the stands, and knew once again work obviously was chosen over him. He reminded himself he had others there, and he did not want to ruin the day for Draco.
He clapped his boyfriend into a hug. "I knew you could do it. You were hot out there."
Draco kissed him. "You won the game, but I am so thrilled to finally play. I know our dads will take us out for a party."
Not wanting to think about why his dad broke another promise to him, and what crime was so bad this time, he said nothing. Remus did not miss his pain, when Harry saw Lucius and Draco later, and hewished he could do more for Harry, but he could not.
Harry looked to him as with Severus, he and Lucius took the boys to town."He was called into work again wasn't he?"
Remus kissed him on the head."You know he hates being away as much as you do. He would be here if he could."
Sirius had floo called hours ago to say he had a raid he wanted to over see, and said he would try and come for the party later. Remus had told him there would come a time when Harry would be too old for that to work, and from Harry's face, that time had come.
Harry did have a surprise visitor at the house party after dinner that night, but not his dad. "Hi Moody, what are you doing here?"