Severus looked at Lucius, and he could not deny the kiss had felt amazing, and that he had feelings for this man. He also knew though those feelings were there, he knew they were not the same as they had once been, he loved but was not in love with Lucius. Things would have been different if he had not been in prison, but they had both become different men during that time, and were not meant to be. He looked towards the door, and thought of Remus, his mind always returned back to him.
Lucius saw where his eyes had gone, and his mind as well, he had seen it more and more. But Malfoy men were stubborn as mules and never gave up without a fight, and he was not about to now, not with this at stake for him.
He turned Severus to look back at him."I will do anything to prove how sorry I am. I will earn your forgiveness and your heart."
Severus kissed him but a brush. "I have already forgiven you Luc."
He had watched Lucius with Harry, and he had known Abraxas would have been proud of his son, and he was as well. He knew Lucius had been a teen, and a fool, and as much as his doubt had been painful, Severus found he could forgive him. He knew he could never move on with his life and be happy, as long as he held on to that pain. Remus had helped him through the bad dreams, and those years before he was cleared, and this was the last step.
Lucius should have been relieved with his words, and in part he was, but he knew there was more to this. He didn't understand, if the man had forgiven him, then surely they could be together. He assumed he might still have to woo him, but he preferred that, to grovelling.
Lucius touched the pendant."We are meant to be together. We always knew that. I know we have lost so much time, but we can make up for it."
Severus shook his head."I am not the child who went to prison. I still love you, there is a part of me that always will, but we were not meant to be."
He could not erase what he had been through, he could forgive Lucius for it, but it did not change what it had made him. Lucius hadn't been in a time lock either, he had changed as well, in his marriage and in raisin his son. He had for the most part changed for the best, he had made his dad proud, but he had still changed.
Lucius cut in when he reminded them they had been kids. "Manu people marry and spend their lives with their first love. You know Harry and Draco will."
Severus smiled at that."I know, but they will grow up together, part of each other. If I had not been in prison, it would have been us."
It had not been simple puppy love, they had been in love, and if not for that night, they would have been bonded. If he had not been in prison, they would have had decades of marriage and kids, and grandkids on the way. He knew it was not Luc's fault he had been in prison, but it did not change the fact, and that time was lost to them. Lucius was his first love, he had once thought he would be his only love, but he knew now that he had been wrong.
Lucius now looked to the door. "It's him, you are in love with him?'
Severus knew he needed to be honest."I don't know if I am in love just yet, but I love him."
He tried to explain as best as he could, Remus' faith in him and always there, had made him see him in a new way. He saw this man who could not even see his own beauty, who was loyal and smart, who was charming and funny, and selfless. He had seen him only as a friend at first, even after a near kiss last summer, but he was stating to see where his heart was. He knew he not only had to be honest with Lucius, but himself, as he had been holding back till now.
Severus held him. "I will always love you, as my first love, best friend and brother. But I can't turn back time, I don't want to lose you, but I can't."
Lucius stopped him from taking off the pendant."Keep it. We were brothers first, and I want that at the least. For the sakes of the boys, and us."
One last kiss, and Severus went off to find Remus, not even sure if Remus liked him as more than a friend. It didn't matter, what he had done needed to be done, he needed Lucius to know, and hoped they could remain brothers, or at least friends. Lucius hoped the same as Severus, that they could be a part of each other, even if not as husbands. Lucius had his son, and he hopefully would have his friend back, and maybe he would find his own love again.
Draco saw his dad's look and came to him. "I'm sorry dad."
Lucius held his son."Don't be, I have my brother back, and I have you. Our time was over long ago, I just needed to see that."
Draco shared a look with Harry, who knew he was conflicted, as he had been helping Draco. He and Draco were madly in love, and he loved his Uncle Luc a lot, but Harry could not help but want Remus to be happy a well. Both Malfoy men assured Harry it was okay, he could be happy for his Uncle.
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Severus found his way through the tents, not sure how he knew where to find him, but he found Remus. It was one of the reasons he knew he made the right choice, he knew Remus better than he knew himself, a bond he never thought to have again. He and Lucius had it as kids, but in some part it was one sided, Lucius' doubt in him. He and Remus had such a deep connection, one he had passed off as friends at first, but it now went deeper.
He had never known Remus to eaves drop, and suspected he had only heard a bit, but he knew that would be worse. He knew he should have talked to Remus about the failed kiss, and they had come close, but then all of this happened with Sirius.
Remus knew it was him before he turned around. "Did Harry send you out to find me for food?"
Severus put a hand on his arm. "I came out on mu own, I was worried about you."
He could tell Remus was trying to remain calm, and he wondered how upset he was, since he would not turn to look at him. Remus had a lot in common with Harry, but not this, he was usually not one to hide away from his emotions. He knew Remus was truly upset when he did.
Severus tried to turn him around." You know you should not listen in on other people. You misinterpret things."
Remus shook his head. "I am being foolish. I am happy for the two of you. You know I want you happy. I just need from fresh air."
He knew, Remus was too generous for his own good, he would have been alone if it made Severus or Harry happy. He would never fight, not like Lucius, and his trouble believing he was worthy of that love, never helped. He never thought any one could see past his curse, enough to want a future with him.
Severus finally forced him to turn around."I told Lucius that I forgave him, and would always love him, but as my first love. My future is else where."
Remus looked at him in shock."But you were in love since kids, he was your first love."
Instead of answering with words at first, he tilted Remus' head, and kissed him softly. They had both thought about the kiss that never was from last summer, and he knew right now that actions would speak louder then words, and it did. Remus was blushing a bit when they pulled back, but Severus knew he was no better.
He ran a hand down Remus' face. "I told you any man would be lucky to have you, because I knew I would be. There is only one man I want to have a future with."
Remus touched the pendant he still wore. "I love you, but I don't want to be with you if you have any doubt you still want to be with him."
Touching the pendant, he assured Remus he had tried to return it to Lucius, but the man would not take it. Before he worried Lucius was still after Severus, he assured Remus Lucius knew they had no future, and simply hoped they could be brothers again. He did not continue to wear it because he still wanted to be with Lucius.
He held it."I will return it to him, or never wear it, for you. I want to be with you, I love you, and I hope one day we can be married."
Remus was the one who kissed him this time. "I want to see where this can take us, I want a future with you."
He assured Severus that he should keep the pendant, he knew the man he loved, and his relationship with Lucius was a part of him. He would never ask Severus to cut Lucius out, though it would have been impossible to do, due to Harry. Harry loved and needed both his Uncles, and he would have them. Besides even if Remus was not his dad officially, he was in his heart, and when Harry and Draco were married, Lucius would be family forever.
Remus looked back to the tents."I do worry how Harry will take it. He and Draco were rooting for Lucius. Lucius helped raise him as well."
Severus kissed him."I have a feeling he will be happy, he wants you happy, as much as you want him to be."
As they walked back to the tents, Severus thought Draco would be as well, as Lucius was not angry over all of this. He wanted his dad to be happy, and if he could see his dad did not need to be with Severus to be that, he would accept this too. Draco cared about Remus as well, because of Harry. Severus remembered when Draco was so bent to prove he was innocent, and reminded Severus of Abraxas, and hoped he was right.
Harry came over to them outside of the tent and looked to his Uncle. "Are you okay? I was worried about you."
Remus took him into his arms and kissed him on the head."I am sorry if I worried you. I am good, after a talk with Severus."
Though Severus had sounded confident before, he was worried how Harry would take it, he loved Draco and Lucius so much. Harry proved him right though, he knew what happened before they told him, and assured Remus he was happy for him. Even Draco seemed in a good mood, now angry about this, when they went back in.
Draco only had one question for Severus. "Can I still come with Harry, and work on potions with you?"
Severus smiled and nodded. "Your father and I were once brothers, and we hope to be again. Both you boys are welcome in my lab any time."
Lucius actually shared a smile with him, and though he knew it would take time and work, he knew they would get back there. He hoped now he and Lucius were over, and Lucius was free from his wife, Lucius would find love again. He was a wonderful man, and would be a good husband, just not for Severus.
Author note: First love is not always final love. There was too much time, and both men had changed too much. There will be a few chapters left, and I promise Lucius fans, he will have a happy ending too. I admit I was not sure who Severus would choose when I started this, I followed my heart.