Chapter Two

Pranks and Announcements

"Fred, George, what do you two have?" Dumbledore asked.

The twins looked at each other and threw the Dungbomb down the staircase behind them. "Nothing, see?" they said, holding up their hands.

"Fred, George, I know that was a Dungbomb. Now, go get it and plant it somewhere fun, okay? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Dumbledore said, winking one bright blue eye.

The twins looked at each other, their faces lighting up.

"Yes, sir!" They ran down the staircase, leaping over the trick step, and set off to plant the bomb in Snape's office. Just as the twins ran off, Ginny and Cho Chang arrived in the corridor. They talked a little about Quidditch, but Ginny was thinking about Harry and not really paying much attention to the conversation.

"Hi Professor," Ginny said, just noticing the headmaster. She nudged Cho.

"Hi Professor," Cho said quickly.

"Hello, girls. What's up?" Dumbledore replied.

"Nothing much," they both said.

"Oh, that's too bad. You should find something to do." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, as if he knew something they didn't. Then, the twins sauntered back up the staircase, looking very pleased with themselves. "So, Fred, George, where did you put it?" Dumbledore turned his attention to the two elder Weasleys in front of him.

They looked at each other innocently. "Umm…in an office," they said, not sure how much to tell Dumbledore.

"Snape's," Dumbledore said knowingly. "Good job you two. When's it going off? I don't want to be late."

Fred and George looked at each other, both thinking the exact same thing. How did he know?

"Don't know," Fred said, seemingly in answer to his own thoughts.

"Hopefully when he's in there," George finished. In Snape's office, which wasn't too far from the staircase, the Dungbomb detonated, filling the area with a terrible stench. The class nearby, third year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, screamed as they caught the smell. Back upstairs, the twins snickered as they listened to the screaming students.

Dumbledore laughed. "That's so funny."

Lee Jordan, the twins' best friend, came along just then. "Where'd you guys have that one planted?" he asked, tears in his eyes from both the smell and his laughter.

"Lee!" they shouted.

"Snape's office," Fred said, grinning.

"Where else?"

"Of course! I should have known," Lee said dramatically. He then whispered so only the twins could hear, "I got one in Trelawney's office."

"With all that incense, she won't notice," George whispered back.

"Let's see her when her visions change," Fred whispered as well. The three pranksters laughed.

Ginny looked mad. "If he catches you two, he'll kill you…" she said, trailing off threateningly.

"That's the fun of it!" they chorused.

"Snape won't kill them, just give them detention for life," Dumbledore said. Of course, it was also possible the bat-like Potions professor would try to have the Weasley twins expelled. Dumbledore then called out, so his voice was heard all over the castle, "Everyone, soon we will be having an announcement. So, in about five minutes, please go to the Great Hall." Dumbledore then turned and left for the Great Hall to wait.

"An announcement?" George asked his twin. Fred shrugged. Normally, Dumbledore would make his announcements at the start-of-term feast. Never, in all their years at Hogwarts, did Dumbledore make an announcement in the middle of the year. Of course, there was the matter of the unfilled Defense Against the Dark Arts post. Either way, it would be unwise to be late, so the twins, with Lee Jordan following behind, headed for the Great Hall.

In the Great Hall, both of Harry's love interests, Ginny and Cho, sat together. Fred, George, and Lee all sat together at the Gryffindor table. No one seemed to notice that Harry Potter, for the first time since he came to Hogwarts, sat alone.

"Everyone, may I have your attention please," Dumbledore said, stepping up to the podium. The golden owl on the front blinked and spread its wings. Fred thought of something. He turned and whispered it to his twin, who wrote it down on a scrap piece of parchment. "Attention please," Dumbledore called louder. Cho and Ginny had never let their attention waver for an instant, except when Ginny glanced over towards Harry, admiring the back of his head.

"What are you writing?" Lee asked. "Let me see." George slid the parchment across the table while Fred snickered.

Dumbledore waved his wand. A flaming dragon appeared in the Great Hall, flew over the students' heads, then vanished out the window. "Now, attention please," he said, as soon as the dragon was gone.

The three Hogwarts pranksters looked up. "Wicked," they said, all at the same time.

"Now that you're all paying attention, I have something to say."

The twins laid the chins on their hands, watching the headmaster intently. "Whaddya think it's about?" George asked.

"Beats me," Fred replied.

"We have finally found our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore said, ignoring the occasional whisper.

"Oooh, another one?" the twins chorused.

Dumbledore stared down at them. "Fred, George, this one you won't prank for a week until he settles in, got it?" Even at such a distance, the ancient wizard gave the impression of x-raying the twins. Lee just stared in shock. How did Dumbledore know that they pranked the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher every year? Pranking Quirrell had been too easy. Lockhart was the same. Lupin seemed to anticipate their every move, while Moody was too paranoid to fall for anything. Umbridge had been their crowning achievement. That year's prank had turned into a series of them, all intended to drive the toad-like teacher from the school.

"A week?!" The twins sighed, resigned to their fate. They would just have to spend that week in more profitable ways.

"Please welcome…Sirius Black." Sirius walked into the Great Hall.

"Hello, everyone."

Lee had a confused look on his face. Their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was notorious mass murderer Sirius Black? "Sirius Black?" he asked the twins.

"I'm happy to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Sirius said nervously. The twins looked awestruck. They knew Sirius was Harry's godfather and one of the Marauders. Many a happy afternoon the twins spent at headquarters, plotting how best to prank the legendary Padfoot.

Hermione leaned her head against Ron's chest. "Why did you want to be alone, Ron?" she asked.

"Because…I think that we deserve some time alone…and hopefully Fred and George don't find us here…"

Hermione blushed. "That's…very sweet, Ron."

"Well it's true! Everywhere I go, they follow me…it's like they want to embarrass me…"

"I know…" Hermione wrapped her arms around him, while he planted a kiss on her head.

"Your hair smells like honey…"

Hermione laughed. "Your shirt smells like the Burrow."

"What do you think of the new DADA teacher? I heard it's Sirius Black!" Luna said excitedly.

"I think…It's an interesting choice," Neville replied.

"I think it's great! Maybe we'll learn something interesting!"

"Sure, maybe," Neville conceded. He was more than a bit wary of the man, remembering the night Ron had woken up to find Sirius standing over his bed. Neville never really forgave himself for that.

Luna was getting excited. "What do you think we're going to learn first?" she asked.

"Wonder if he'll teach us about Wrackspurts…" Neville mused.

In a hallway a good distance from where Fred and George had met with Dumbledore, the two aspiring Marauders were hidden, plotting their next prank. Snape swept along the corridor, Malfoy at his side. Neither of them received any positive comments in Gryffindor Tower, as they were both Slytherins. "Get to class you two!" Snape yelled at the twins while Malfoy laughed. The blond Slytherin had made it his life's mission to torment Harry…and he was doing a pretty good job of it, too.

"We're always in class!" they both yelled.

"Just not yours," George added as an afterthought. In truth, no Gryffindor liked Snape's classes. Some of the more daring students even tried skipping class. Of course, this just brought the Potions master's wrath down on them all even harder.

"Get going or I'll throw your butts in detention so fast your heads will spin," Snape threatened.

Fred and George laughed. "All right, all right." They headed down to the dungeons, wherein awaited their doom. Well, it wasn't really their doom, they just liked to joke about it.

The Potions classroom was in one of the darkest, dankest dungeons that lay beneath Hogwarts. It was also the most dreary and depressing, which was (according to many students) just how Snape liked it.

Once there, Snape took his usual position at the front of the room as he waited for everyone to get settled. "Today, you will be making a potion called Troll Odor. It can be found on page thirty of your books," he said.

"So that's what that smell is," Fred said, laughing.

"Hey, George," Malfoy said, leaning over to talk to the Weasley twin.

"What is it, Malfoy?" George replied. He couldn't resist throwing in a roll of his eyes.

"How's your poor family?"

Just then, Snape walked over. As usual, he found no fault in Malfoy, but instead lay all the blame on the Gryffindors. "Mister Weasley! Stop laughing and get back to work!"

Dumbledore, as befitted the old headmaster, entered the dungeon classroom. "May I watch your class today, Severus?" he asked.

"Of course, Headmaster," Snape replied icily.

Fred cracked open his textbook, trying to block out the blonde Slytherin. Unfortunately for Fred, Malfoy refused to keep quiet. It probably didn't help that Snape and Dumbledore were distracted at the front of the classroom.

Both twins had greeted the headmaster when he came in.

George held up a small bag of money the twins had made the past few days from selling pranks and the like. "Oh, I think we're doing all right," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, that's pocket change," Malfoy retorted.

"Well, if I've got this much in my pocket, I think I'm doing pretty well," George shot back.

"Mister Malfoy, do not bully Mister Weasley," Dumbledore scolded, noticing the argument.

Snape tried turning Dumbledore's attention back towards him. "Albus, I heard that Black is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

It worked. "Yes, it's true, Severus."

Meanwhile, Fred, in his usual joking spirit, blew up his potion. "Oops," he laughed.

"But sir, I should get that job!" Snape implored. He turned around slowly, surveying the scene. "Detention, Weasley!" he shouted, noticing Fred's exploded potion.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but Sirius got it, unless you think you can beat me in a duel," Dumbledore stated.

"Albus, I can't beat you while you have that master wand," he whispered.

"Severus, the wand is mine, so I guess you can't win," Dumbledore chuckled.

Fred looked at his mess of a potion. "I didn't do it on purpose!" he said, pleadingly. "I'm sorry Professor, you're just so much better at this than we are." Fred's tone changed to a more joking one as George started laughing.

Snape pulled a bag of Truth Powder from his desk and threw a small handful on Fred. Truth Powder was nothing more than the powdered crystalline form of Veritaserum, the most powerful known truth potion. Unlike the potion, Truth Powder did not need to be ingested in order to work. "Tell the truth, you suck up."

"No using Truth Powder on the students," Dumbledore said. "Only I can do that," he added quietly to himself with another chuckle.

"You told me I could," Snape said.

"I did? Well, then. Carry on."

The Truth Powder, like Veritaserum, was quick to work. "There's a Dungbomb in your office," Fred said as soon as the powder started working.

Dumbledore, who had been privy to that plan, said, "Quick, George, set off the Dungbomb."

Before George could slip out of his seat to set off the smelly device, Snape disarmed it. Dumbledore looked disappointed.

"Fred, I already told you that one was a dud," George said to his twin.

"Oh." Fred's face fell. Just then, a different Dungbomb detonated at the front of the classroom.

"That was the real one."

Snape was furious. "You two have detention forever!" he shouted.

"Severus, lighten up. It's all in good fun," Dumbledore offered.

The twins shrugged. "We'll have to come back as ghosts, then, and haunt the school."

"I don't care! I want the pair of you to stay after class!"

"All right, Severus, but go easy on them," Dumbledore said.

"We'll see, Albus."

"Thank you, Severus."

The twins sat back in their chairs to wait as Dumbledore left the classroom.

Once the bell signaling the end of class rang, Snape unleashed his fury on the Weasley twins. "I should expel you two!"

"Should you?" asked Fred.

"Could you?" asked George.

"Yes, I could, but I won't. You two will be in detention for a month. First, you will be cleaning up that stink bomb!" Snape shouted.

"Clean it up? It already stunk in here from all those potions," Fred observed.

"Oh, and you will be cleaning up the potions as well without magic."

They shrugged. "All right."

As they started cleaning, George turned to his twin. "Looks like we can't curse Malfoy and make him do this."

"Or turn him into a ferret like Mad-Eye did and hope the bugger eats it," Fred added happily.

"Now if those things happen, I'll know who was behind them!" Snape cut in on their happy planning.

George laughed. "Would there be any question of who did it even if we hadn't said?"

"No, not one," Snape replied.

They both laughed. "That's what we thought." They finished up the last bit of cleaning.

"Get out of here!" Snape pointed them to the door.

"Gladly," they replied, leaving. Unfortunately, Malfoy was hanging around outside.

"You two are so dumb," he said.

They looked back at the blonde as they passed. "Ferret boy."

"Don't you dare!"

"Wouldn't we?" George said.

"Don't tell me the rich boy is scared," Fred mocked.

"Shut your mouth." Malfoy drew his wand, just as the twins drew theirs.

"Careful, Malfoy," George said.

"Our wands aren't broken like Ron's was when you fought him," Fred added.

Malfoy put his wand away just as Snape rounded the corner. "What do we have here?" he asked icily.

Since they were both still holding their wands, the twins had to think up a plan very quickly, so, they pretended to switch wands. "Oh, Fred, I think this one's yours," George said handing his wand to Fred.

"Yes, I think so. Here's yours," Fred replied, trading with his twin.

"Well, okay, then." Snape kept on walking as the twins high-fived each other. Malfoy cast the slug-vomiting curse on the twins and ran off.

George puked up a slug. "He's not a ferret!"

"He's a rat!" Fred finished, puking up his own. They looked at each other and started laughing.

Snape doubled back, on hearing the laughter. 'Why would you two do this to each other and call Mister Malfoy a rat?"

The twins pointed off n the direction Malfoy had gone. "HE DID IT!"

"He is a model student, but for once I'll believe you. Only this once," he sneered as he went after the errant Slytherin.

Fred and George could hardly believe what they were hearing. Snape? Believe them? It seemed the entire school was turning topsy-turvy and they hardly had to do a thing. They watched eagerly as Snape dragged Malfoy back by the ear.

"You two will be in charge of Malfoy. You will be watching him." Snape glared at the blonde.

"Ugh, that's worse than the slugs," they said.

"Does he have to do what we say?" George asked, out of pure curiosity.

"Yes, he does."

"Wicked." They puked up a handful of slugs as Malfoy laughed. "Hey look, it's Mad-Eye!" they pointed behind Malfoy, where it was obvious Mad-Eye Moody wasn't there.

"What? Where?" Malfoy whipped around, terrified of their old Defense Against the Dark arts teacher. A few years back, Mad-Eye had caught Malfoy taunting Harry and turned the Slytherin into a white ferret and bounced him all over the corridor. Naturally, the entire school had heard about the incident. Though, in reality, it had been a Death Eater disguised as Moody, Mad-Eye was the one who got the credit.

The twins puked up a few more slugs. "Aah, this is disgusting," George said.

"We should add this to the Skiving Snackboxes," Fred said.

"Nah, no one would do this to themselves intentionally…no one smart, at least."

"God, freak's talk," Malfoy commented, lounging against the wall.

"Ugh. Malfoy make yourself useful." George groaned.

"Yeah, go find us a bucket, will you?" Fred added, noting the slugs all over the floor. At least Snape would have plenty of Potions ingredients.

"Fine." Malfoy went off in a huff, coming back with two buckets that he slammed down in front of the retching twins. Finally, they stopped puking slugs.

"Ugh, is it over?" George asked.

"I think so," Fred replied.

"That was awesome," Malfoy laughed.

"Maybe for you." George shoved his bucket aside.

"Have you got any idea what slugs taste like?" Fred did the same.

George looked at hm. "You mean, aside from him snogging Pansy?"

"Whatever." He tried ignoring the two redheads.

"Hmm…So we have to watch you."

"So what now?" Fred was feeling a bit bored. As they stared at Malfoy, he yawned. "Sorry, we can't go in the Slytherin common room."

"If you want to sleep, you'll have to do it out here."

"I'm not tired, I'm bored of you two," Malfoy retorted.

"Bored?" The twins looked at him, shocked. How could anyone be bored with them around?

"Well, would you rather us turn you into a ferret?" George offered.

Fred put in his own suggestion. "Or you can be a guinea pig and try out our new experiments."

"What?!"

The twins chuckled at Malfoy's shock. "Well, which is it?" Fred prompted.

"Neither," the blonde replied.

George sighed. "All right…We could go sneak around."

"As always," Fred responded.

And so, the twins slunk away to manage a bit more mischief, Malfoy trailing behind.

AN: Neither Truth Powder or the potion Troll Odor actually exist in canon. Truth Powder, to recap, is nothing more than crystallized Veritaserum. The crystallization does, in fact, make the potion more potent. As with its liquid form, Truth Powder must be either ingested or inhaled for it to work.

For information regarding Troll Odor, send me a message including the phrase "stinky potion."