Chapter 9

The Rain

…

"You sure? You got the place covered," I press Marvel who nods his head for the hundredth time annoyed.

"Yes, for the love of god get out of here Katniss. The bar will be fine," he says exasperatedly, "Johanna is in the back. Finn and Annie are across the bar. Rye is on his way. And the Brute and Gloss are sitting here at the bar drinking. Nothing is going to happen. Go."

"Get out of here, Brainless," Johanna yells from the back, "Stop stalling and go confront Bread Boy."

I let out a breath and look to Cato who was seated at the bar. Since the kiss we shared, we still hung out and not much has changed. As Cato had said a few days ago when we were eating Chinese at his place, "If it doesn't work out with you and Lover Boy I'm going to shoot for benefits," to which I laughed at and took a bit of my egg roll. But now I'm not sure what will happen to Cato and I or even the rest of the group if things with Peeta don't go well or even if things do go well. He gave me a smile raising his beer to me, "Crossing my finger, benefits for the win."

Letting out a laugh, I shake my head.

"You sure," I say to Marvel one more time only to have him point to the door, holding back his anger as he said, "Get out of here, now!"

"Okay, okay," I say in protest, "I'm going."

…

Pushing through the bakery door, I escape the serve down pour occurring outside. Pulling my hair band from the end of my braid, I ran my hand through my hair. Beeps of water trickled off of my skin. My white tank top clung to my body along with my skinny jeans. And the heels I was wearing had become a treacherous hell; it was as if I was skating on ice. The moment I stepped out the bar's front door, I stepped into a torrential down pour. I had wished someone at the bar would have told me it was raining or that I would have been smart enough to figure it out myself that it was by the number to jackets hanging by the door. I would have worn a jacket then or brought an umbrella with me. I know I could have gone back inside and grabbed one, but I knew I would only being delaying seeing Peeta by going back. Plus I really didn't want to hear it from everyone. So I made I run for it. Pulling at my cloths they only retracted to my skin, clinging on for dear life. This wasn't a good start. And as I pulled at my top, especially the top of my tank top where my blue bar had become visible underneath the white cotton I heard a grunt clearing the room. Then looking up, my eyes met Peeta's.

"Hey," I say quickly pulling my hands away from my clothing and to my sides.

"Hey," he replies jumping over the bakery's counter. "Hey… um… you want to sit," he asked motioning to the old the leather couch that was still seated against the bakery's baby blue wall beside the old patched up, brown microfiber armchair and stained, oak coffee table.

I shake my head no. "I'm good, I rather stand."

"Okay," he says running his hand through his hair, "Hungry?"

"Peeta," I plead, "Please?"

He nods. "Sorry, um… I um…" He trails on. God, and he was supposed to be the one that was good with words.

"Want do you want from me Peeta," I say cutting him off mid-sentence about something along the lines of shoes and paths and being in the same shoe on the same path or something. Yet the moment I cut him off he seems to snap out of it. He looks up at me in surprise with his mouth open. However it's only a matter of seconds that his facial expression goes from surprised to angry. "

What do I want," he says doing his best to control his emotions, "I want to know why you ended things between us."

Me? I ended it? Was he accusing me of ending things between us? Was I mistaken or was he the one that walked out?

"Excuse me," I say stepping forward, "I wasn't the one the one that walked out."

"And I wasn't the one that said no." He shot back immediately. Said no? Who? Me? I never said no. Where did he get that from?

"When did I ever say no!?"

"Since the beginning," he says in a tone that's just as heatedly as mine, "For the last five years you have been telling me how you never wanted to get married or have kids! And you especially told me no a couple of weeks ago!"

Shit you Peeta, shit you.

"Yeah," I say pointing my finger at him, "For a good portion of the last five years I have said no. I never wanted to get married or kids because I didn't want to end up like my mother or my children end up like Prim and I. I never wanted anyone to go through what I have! But you know what? I fell for you Peeta. And the idea of having kids or getting married to you has become an idea I have started to become open to over the year or so; since with you things are better, manageable and maybe, just maybe I thought that things would be different, better if I married you or had your kids because you're perfect and loving and safe and in general just good."

I pause taking in a breath before continuing.

"And a couple of weeks ago I never said no! I said sorry for being dishonest because I felt so bad for keeping that from you. But I love you Peeta, hell, I was going to say yes!"

The moment those last words that escape my lips, Peeta becomes frozen in place. "You were- were going to- to say yes," he stutters out. God, did this boy think all those I love you's were a joke or lie or something?

"Yes," I say trying to make it as clear as possible, "Did you really think I wouldn't? I mean do you think I would have stayed with you this long if I didn't love? Did you think I was leading you? Do you think I would have stayed if there wasn't a chance of us getting married, a chance of us having kids, a chance of us having a future together? I do have a soul, a heart, Peeta. I'm not a complete bitch. I mean… God, I love you! I love you Peeta! And it still scares the crap out of me like it did the first time… But I still love you; I don't think I could stop myself from loving you. I want to be with you! 'Cause with you I am happy, complete, alive. To lose you would be- would be hell, I don't think words could describe it. Jesus, shit! Peeta I'm not good with words, you're the one that's good with words and I'm not really sure what else to say than I love you. I, Katniss Everdeen, love you, Peeta Mellark!"

My rant coming to a heaving halt I find myself attempting to catch my breath while waiting on a response from Peeta. Yet Peeta, Peeta stood there in front of me silent. He stood tall and silent not saying a word. Butts, I think, this was my worst nightmare. Peeta speechless was something I never found to be good. Thus waiting, standing there for a response, moments go by and yet he remains silent. Shaking my head I reached into my back pocket pulling out the velvet box.

"I can't keep this if you don't want me. Reminds me of us, of you too much," I say quietly slowly breaking on the inside as I spoke those words. Placing it on the coffee table I shook my head. "Sorry," I mumble as I felt the tears begin to prickle up at the brim of my eye lids, "I really am. But I guess… I guess this is us now and I hope that… that we can be friends." Turning I walk toward only to stop just before walking back into the down pour. "Always." I say not quite sure if Peeta heard me or not. Yet once I say it, I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks so pushing against the door I made my way into the storm.

I don't run through the rain like I did on my way to the bakery, but casually walk back toward the bar. I don't even walk on the sidewalk, but in the middle of the street not caring if a car comes rumbling by. Well, things didn't go as I hoped. No, let me restate that, things didn't go at all as I hoped. Screw you, life. Continuing to walk through the rain I feel myself go from wet to cold to numb to warm. The transformation and change of feeling is almost instant. It makes me question what I was doing out here, forgetting to feel? Stopping in my tracks I stand still in the middle of the street during a torrential down pour like an idiot. Then looking to the sky as if I would see stars, I see nothing but tumbling rain drops. And I stay like that for I'm not sure how long, seconds, maybe hours looking up into the rain. It isn't till I hear a voice calling in the distance that I snap out of it. And there turning I see Peeta running from the bakery entrance toward me. Dear god, I think, please, please let this good.

"Katniss," he calls growing closer, "I'm sorry for being an asshat, I'm sorry. I screwed up. And when I'm saying sorry. I'm not saying no, I'm apologizing… I love you Katniss and I'm sorry I was an idiot and just assumed you were saying no, blindly avoiding your true intentions… I love you more than anything and these last five years of my life have been the best. I want five more. Whatever I can get from you I'll take... You make me feel comfortable in the silence and happy with each smile. You are my better half and worst, but I don't care… "

At this point I am smiling in happiness as Peeta kneels down on one knee with the ring box open in front of me.

"I know were not perfect, that I'm not perfect. I know we fight. I know were messed up. But I love you. I love you and no matter how mad I will get at you for drenching your pancakes in syrup or you at me for adding sugar to my tea, my love, our love will never change… So here I am doing a not-so-grand-gesture of fireworks and food and that whole thing I had planned, but screw it. I love you Katniss and I want to marry you… Will you be my always?"

Looking down at Peeta I dramatically nod my head. "Yes." I make out, "Yes, always." And so standing up on front of me, Peeta took my left hand in his and slipped the ring onto my ring finger with his right hand. "It's beautiful, a perfect fit," I say with a smile.

"You hadn't already tried it on," he asked and I shook my head. "Well, it's perfect just like you."

Laughing I push my hand against his chest only causing him wrap his arms around my waist, drawing me close, "That, this is completely cliché... Girl and boy fight, there is an awkward silence where the really intense piano melody begins to play. Then girl runs into the pouring rain and boy chases after her into the middle of the street and then it is happily ever after."

Peeta laughs too, "And I didn't even plan it out."

Continuing to laugh together I wrap my arms around Peeta's neck. "But we forgot one thing," I say.

"Oh," he says raising his eyebrows at me, "And what would that be?"

"The kiss."