Set after Bella's party in New Moon.
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Jaspers P.O.V
I couldn't believe it, what had I done. I'm weak and I always will be, I don't deserve any of this. A great family, a loving wife, why, why do I have all these things. I shouldn't have, I should be on my own, rotting away with only disappointment to keep me company.
I've caused to much grief, they'd be much better off without me. So here I sit, on the end of the bed in mine and Alice's room, my head in my hands. Everyone else was downstairs, probably cleaning up the mess that I have created. I hate myself so much, too much that Alice shouldn't have to bare a burden like me, a hideous scarred monster. I was made a creature of the night, made to feed on humans, made to kill, made to be punished. And I know I'll never change, I tried and I've failed more than once.
I put our family at risk, I've lost Edwards only chance at happiness, I've upset those close to me, I've betrayed my beloved wife. She doesn't need me and my tainted ways ruining her perfect world, her perfect existence.
I lifted my head up and looked at a picture of me and Alice that sat on the desk at the other end of the room. I've disappointed her, tried to kill her best friend. So I'm leaving, they will be upset I'm sure but they will get over it, move on when they realise that they have lost the one thing holding them back from what they want. A life around humans, a peaceful and untainted lifestyle.
Alice's P.O.V
The pain, the hurt, my dead heart shattering in my chest. No, he cant, I knew he was upset but I didn't think it would come to this. Why, I cant loose him, I need him, if he left I'd fall apart, I wouldn't be able to go on without him, and I wont. If he left I'd find a way to end this life, why live forever when all you have to live for is gone. I could feel the dry sobs building up in my chest, I couldn't even shed one tear over something so terrible, something so scary, something so heartbreaking.
I felt cold inside, I could feel my hope draining away. I hadn't noticed that I had attracted the attention of my family members, I looked at Edward. He was the only one of them who knew why I was like this, he knew my thoughts, and he must of known what I was going to do.
I stood up and shot up the stairs as fast as I could in this immortal body, and I burst into our room. There he stood, his back to me.
"Don't." my voice was breaking due to the saw sobs that were breaking my insides.
He didn't say anything, surely he could feel my pain, my love for him. Why didn't he turn around, why didn't he look at me.
"Jazz, please… Don't. I need you." my voice was a whimper of plea.
"No you don't." his voice was a painful whisper, his words they hurt so much. I knew he didn't mean them, but he still pretended that they were true.
Jaspers P.O.V
Oh god, I never knew that this could hurt so much. I've never felt someone's heart break, I couldn't look at her, this had to be the right thing. They say the truth hurts, but even when your lying about not needing someone, it was still as painful.
"Jasper, I love you so much." her voice was weak, her dry sobs clear in her voice. My own were making an appearance.
"I know you do." I muttered, trying to hide my hurt and shaky voice.
"Then don't go." she pleaded, I didn't want to, but it was the only way. The only way to give my family what they deserve in this life.
"I have to, Alice." my voice didn't even sound audible, but I knew she heard. I could hear her sobs.
"Don't you love me?" my head shot up at her question, her words made me turn and face her. I saw her golden eyes fill with despair.
"I do, I always will. But its very clear that if I stay all I will do is hurt you. I love you too much to ruin your life." my voice was hysterical, my own sobs were coming through, they were crystal clear.
"But, how can I go on without you?" she moved closer to me, I had to look away, I could feel her eyes boring into me. Her feeling of hurt, love, and hatred overwhelmed me.
"You'll find a way." I said, trying to make my words believable.
"There is no other way without you Jasper. I lived all those years alone because I knew you were there on the other side, and I live now for you, to love you. To be loved by you." Alice's sobs were making this far to difficult.
"Please, Alice. Don't make this any harder than what it already is." I couldn't do this, I thought I could, but it was impossible to let go.
"Jazz, I'm begging you. Please don't leave me." her arms wrapped around me, her head hitting my chest as her dry sobs overtook her.
I took a deep uneven breath.
"I love you, I don't want to hurt you." my eyes burned from the tears that refused to appear. My chest hurt from my clogged up sobs.
"Then don't go, please. I cant live without you, I need you so much." her hand touched my cheek, as she spoke forcing me to look down at her pained expression.
"How can you need me? I'm a monster, I made a killer and no matter how much I try to avoid those instincts, they keep coming back. How can you love me when I hurt those you love?" my body was shacking as much as my voice was.
"Don't say that!" she yelled at me, her voice high and hysterical.
"I love you because I want to, your not a monster and even if you were I would never stop loving you. If I ever had to choose between you or our family, I would always choose you, you're the one I want. You were the one keeping me going before I met you, and you're the one who keeps me going now. So don't you ever, ever judge my love for you." her voice was stern, her hands were pressed tightly on the sides of my face.
"Alice, you don't understand how hard this is. You deserve better than me." I almost yelled back at her, my words were harsh but she didn't take any of it. Her hands moved from my face and grabbed the collar of my shirt.
"No I don't, and even if I did do you really think I would choose anyone else?" I could feel and hear the anger that was building up inside her.
"Well you should." I spat at her, her hand soon raised up and slapped me across my face. The force of her hand would of killed a human, it stung for half a second, but the meaning of it lasted longer.
"Jasper, listen to me. You can say what you want, you can try and convince everyone else around us that you deserve less, and that you aren't needed here and that you don't love me. But convince yourself first." I was silent for a moment, I could never do that and she knew it. She was right.
"You know that's impossible for me to do." I muttered forcing my head away from her so I was looking out the window into the darkness.
"It's impossible for me to let you go, so if you think for a second that you can just walk out this door, I suggest you re-think because I'm never letting you go. No matter what lies you feed yourself about not deserving me, or how all of us would be better off without you because we never will be." Alice's words caught me off guard, her tone was almost threatening. But I should know better than to argue with her, to pass judgement on her. To assume that she would let me leave, how stupid I was.
I know for a fact that she loves me, I can feel it I can also feel how angry she was at me for attempting something like this. I removed her hands from my shirt and held them with my own.
"Alice" I said turning my head to look at her.
"I only want what's best for you. I want you to be happy, and I can tell from your words and your feeling that if I did leave you would do something terrible to yourself." she listened to my words, wondering where I was going with this.
"I thought that leaving would be the best thing." I felt so ashamed of myself right now.
"Well then you were wrong. You're a fool Jasper Hale, to think that I would ever let you go after everything I've been through to get you, and everything we've bin through to get this far. You're a stupid, crazy fool. And that's another reason I love you so damn much." I looked into her eyes.
I moved my head down and pressed my forehead against hers.
"I know I am, and I'm also a fool for making you get this upset. I don't want to loose you, maybe I should listen to my heart more than my head." I muttered in a shameful tone. Her hand cupped my cheek and I soon felt her soft lushes lips against mine. Her kiss said more than anything ever could, her kiss made me realize even more that I could never leave her. I had to stay, for her sake and my own.
"I love you, Jazz. Promise me you wont ever do anything like this to me again." she whispered once her lips left mine for that brief moment.
"I promise, Alice, I will never go anywhere. I love you so much and I don't ever want to loose you." I whispered back to her before I pressed my lips against hers again.
After all these years I should know better than to mess with Alice, and I should also know that our love can and will survive anything and everything. I can be such a fool at times.