A/N: Cabin Warning, Brace yourslef for osme high-altitude chessyness. I'm serious - a lotta mush coming up...

Hayloft Kids

16: Hiccups and Handkerchiefs

After leaving a dumbstruck Johnny to catch his breath, I mingled with the crowd for a little. I talked with Zak and a little with Cricket who happened to be his date, and with a more pleasant Amy and Trey, who'd gone together.

I also chatted with Aunt Louise, Cassidy, and Noah, who'd gone with Renee, a nice, plump, brown-haired girl from the other side of town.

Everyone looked good.

I had to admit that Cricket looked good. She had on this red dress that was cut lower than mine, and she didn't have any straps on. She wore these high heels, and I was wondering why she didn't go to the circus and be stilt-girl.

Then there was Amy in her long blue gown with sleeves that were loose and flowing. Her neckline was high. No wonder Trey thought she was respectable. She wore these pretty sandals that had a bit of a high sole, but not much else.

Renee was wearing a cute little yellow dress that reached her shins. She wore matching doll shoes.

Everyone seemed to have a good time. I did, too, until I realized that Johnny wasn't anywhere in sight to make the drool come out of.

I looked around. He couldn't have gone into a separate room. So I decided to go outside and see if I could find him there.

There was some damp soil outside, and I saw a print of Johnny's shoes. They went in the direction of his house.

I followed them.

They led me to his barn. I stepped inside and looked around. There were pails and brooms and hoes, but no Johnny. Then I looked up to the loft. I could hear someone breathe.

I carefully climbed the ladder. It was a nice dress I had on and I didn't want to ruin it. As for my shoes, they held on pretty well, not being heels.

When I reached the top, the first thing I saw was Johnny's suit jacket.

Then I saw him, facing away from me, with his white shirt on, chewing a grass blade, lying on a pile of hay, doing nothing.

"Johnny?" my voice was lost in the big, empty space around us. Between us.

But he heard me. He looked around at me and said, "Oh, hi, Mag." Then he looked away again.

I picked up his jacket. I walked to him. I slid my shoes off.

I lay down next to him. I evened my breath with his breathing.

And then I started to cry.

At first I wasn't sure. Usually Maggie doesn't cry. But as her whimpers and sobs became clearer and clearer, I was corrected.

"Maggie?" I said softly.

She tried to stop crying, and began hiccupping. Maggie?" I repeated, "Are you okay?"

She sniffled. "I'm taboo." "Oh." I said.

I cautiously put a hand out to touch her shoulder. This time she didn't jerk away.

Then she just began crying all over again. "This time you're definitely not fine," I said. She shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head again.

This time I said it even more softly: "Maggie, please tell. Please, Mag."

She burst into a fresh bought of tears. But then she swept her hand all around us and whispered, "This, Johnny. All of it. I'm sick and tried of having to face all this, and having to tolerate stuff I don't even consider in my department."

I rolled onto my side and propped myself up on one elbow and gazed at her. "Your dad always says that you need trials to understand strength."

"I know he says that, Johnny. And I know it's true. I believe it. I accept it. But I just can't –" She broke off, and wiped her eyes again. I fished around in my pocket and gave her my handkerchief. She took it, "Thanks," and blew her nose.

Then she continued. "Being a pilot, being a Metajets Agent, It's exhilarating. But sometimes I just wish I could settle down. I know we've seen a lot of interesting places, and done lots of fun things, and we've had the best adventures anyone could wish for. But it's – I can't explain. It's like one half of me is drawn to staying home on a rainy day with nothing on but a blanket and socks and curling up with you on the loveseat and eating popcorn and watching movies, while the other part goes off to kick butt and shoot bombs. I don't know. It's just so confusing. And why am I telling you this? You've got enough dilemmas to handle – what to do with your Aunt. Staying with or leaving me and the Metajets. Then there's Cricket and me – but it's pretty obvious who you'd pick. I mean Cricket's girlfriend material. She acts like a girl and she's a hottie, and here's Maggie, with a stupid Barrette and ponytail she's had on forever, and she wears sneakers and a so-not-classy green suit. I mean, how more un-girly can I get?" she finished this speech with another sniffle.

I swallowed. She blew her nose.

"I mean, cricket has these designer jeans, and she –" I reached over with my other hand and turned Maggie sideways to face me. She broke off.

I drew her in. she let me wrap my arms around her and I put both hands on her face kissed her once, very, very, gently, on the forehead, before telling her something important that been on my mind for a very, very, long time.