The scene opens on Chris standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light, our little ratings puller, made another alliance with an enemy, this time it was Bart. Then we forced the campers to spill their most embarrassing secrets, some of which were quite disturbing . . . Ayane. Anyway, in the end the Giant Sharks lost, and Light's attempt to vote off Katniss failed, as did Finn's attempt to get rid of Light, with Draco taking a cannon ride home. Also, Light thinks Finn is his friend again, though Finn is hoping to beat Light." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Who will betray who? Who will manipulate who? And more importantly, who will be eliminated in yet another suspenseful campfire ceremony? Find out right now, on Total Drama All Stars."
Intro plays
Light is waiting on the pier when Bart arrives. "Alright man, what's the deal? Why did you want to meet me here?"
"For a strategy talk, little man," said Light. "I may have found another weakness in your team to exploit, to make them tear each other apart and ignore your, shall we say, hellion antics."
"So . . . you don't need me anymore?" said Bart.
"No, that's not it at all," said Light. "I promised to take you to the final two, and I intend to."
"Then what is it?" asked Bart. "Is it the fact we've got girls on the team?"
"Yes and no," said Light. "It's one girl in particular, Kim."
"Oh yeah, the cheerleader chick," said Bart. "You think we need to get rid of her?"
"Not yet," said Light. "She might be of use to us."
"What use could a girl have to us?" asked Bart, growing impatient.
"You obviously weren't paying attention yesterday," said Light. "During that last challenge, she more or less admitted she had a crush on someone at camp." Light was grinning in a very evil manner at this point. "I need you to find out who that is."
"Me? Why not you?" asked Bart, outraged.
"Think about it: it'd be less suspicious for you to be seen around her a lot because you're on her team," said Light. "Now, this little piece of information will be vital for us, so get going and find it out."
Bart flashed a dirty look at him, but left obediently.
Confession Cam: Bart
"The million dollars better be worth the cootie shots I'm gonna need by the end of this. Doesn't Light understand how dangerous something like this is?"
Meanwhile, outside the cabins, Katniss was practicing her bow skills, when Finn approached her.
"Hey, uh, Katniss?" said Finn, trying to get her attention. "Can I talk to you?"
Katniss lowered her bow and turned to face him. "Yes, what is it Finn?" she asked.
"It's about Light," said Finn. "I think he's evil. I think he was why you were nearly eliminated last night." Katniss looked at him, stunned, but Finn continued. "I think he's trying to turn everyone against each other, while making himself look like a good guy. I think you guys need to get rid of him next elimination ceremony."
Katniss stared down at Finn, then nodded. "I agree, he is up to no good. The problem is, there are some people on my team who believe he'll only cause havoc to your team, which might make it difficult to get rid of him. I can probably get Murtagh to help, but after that I'm not sure."
"Thanks Katniss," said Finn, and he turned to leave.
"Attention campers," said Chris over the loudspeaker. "The next challenge will be in the mess hall in twenty minutes. And this time, you're less likely to die . . . we think."
Twenty minutes later, in the mess hall.
"Welcome campers to today's challenge," said Chris. "Today's challenge is . . . a food fight."
"Wow, really? You've run out of suicidal challenges already?" asked Wallace with high levels of sarcasm.
"Not in the slightest," said Chris. "We just had to get rid of some of Chef's expired cooking."
"I thought his food already was expired," said Carly.
"And by expired, we mean the completely rancid stuff that the racoons won't eat out of the dumpster," said Chris. "Try not to swallow it. Before we begin though, we need to do a weigh-in."
"I thought we weren't eating that crap," said Bart.
"We hope you won't, though if you do you'll probably immediately barf it up . . . as well as everything else in your digestive tract . . . and some stuff you haven't even eaten yet. Anyway, the purpose for the weigh-in is to find out the collective weight of your team. At the end, when you're all covered in who-knows-what, we'll weigh you again. The team who has the most of Chef's putrid . . . something . . . on them, loses, and will be sending someone home tonight. Giant Sharks, if you would." The nine members of the Giant Sharks stepped onto a giant pair of scales, and seconds later a reading popped up. "1,159 pounds. Alright. Now, Striking Vipers, if you would." The Striking Vipers did as their opponents had just done. "1,152 pounds. Okay, Chef, bring it out."
On cue, Chef emerged from the kitchen, wheeling a trough of something most vile. "Legally, I have to tell you not to get it on your skin. Now, dig in."
The contestants moved as close to the muck as they dared, which in some cases meant moving away from the horrid sludge. Chris and Chef (who had moved behind a protective screen) watched with disgust. "They're not doing anything," complained Chris.
"I told you they'd need hazmat suits to complete this challenge," said Chef.
"And I told you that I'm not that nice," said Chris. "But I do have a plan B."
Ten minutes later, Chris returned to see several very queasy campers, some of whom had thrown up. "Okay, since this is going nowhere at an increasingly slow pace, time to change the rules," said Chris. "You all get a nose peg."
"That's it?" asked Kim. "I doubt that would be enough to . . ."
"Alright, *beep* this, I'm sick of this *beep*," said Hit-Girl, snatching one of the nose pegs from Chris. As she fitted it over her nose, she grabbed the trough and flung it at the other contestants. Chris managed to dive out the door just in time, but everyone else got splattered.
"AHHH!" screamed Rachel. "It's like a thousand slushies to the face, but with nuclear runoff instead."
"Carrying the weight of the sky was less torturous than this," said Annabeth.
"Pretty sure I had a shoe on my left foot," said Wallace.
"Alright, that takes care of that then," said Chris, carefully wading into the room. "Let's reweigh and see who won . . . before that stuff finishes eating you. Giant Sharks." The Giant Sharks stepped onto the scales. "1,159 pounds," said Chris. "Wait, that's what you went on with."
"That's because this stuff is EATING US!" yelled Murtagh. "It's eating my sword."
"You can always get another one," said Chris.
"This sword is elf-made," said Murtagh. "And indestructible. The elf who made it swore never to make another one. And somehow, this stuff is burning through it."
"I just discovered that fire isn't the only thing to burn through my skin," said Alice.
"Okay, go wash it off then," said Chris. "Not sure if we can get away with nudity at this hour."
"Who's naked?" asked Carly, before looking down to see her pixelated chest. "Oh . . . STOP STARING, PERVERTS!" And with that, she ran out of there.
"Okay, so before we have something that could get us axed for that second week in a row, Striking Vipers step onto the scales," said Chris. Once they were on, he read the scales. "1,143 pounds . . . 9 pounds less than when you started. And the winner is, the Striking Vipers."
"Luckily I think most of that was clothes," said Wallace who, like his teammates, was covering up with the tattered remains of his clothes or (for some) just their hands.
"Yeah, you guys might wanna do something about that . . . quick," said Chris.
"No problem," said Ash. "I choose you, Totodile." On cue, Totodile popped out of its Pokéball. "Totodile, use Water Gun and wash this *beep* off us." Totodile opened its mouth and blasted both teams with a strong jet of water. When it stopped, everyone was free of the gunk.
"And now, on top of everything else, I'm freezing and wet," said Kevin.
"It was either this, or dissolve," said Sabriel.
"Giant Sharks, I'll see you at elimination tonight," said Chris.
Confession Cam: Light
"I want to try and get rid of Katniss again, though with Hit-Girl's anger I think I should be more worried about my safety than a good player. Decisions, decisions."
Confession Cam: Katniss
"You are so outta here Light."
Confession Cam: Murtagh
"What Katniss said."
Confession Cam: Katniss
"How did Murtagh know what I said?"
Confession Cam: Murtagh
"How did Katniss know what I said?"
Confession Cam: Marty
"Hit-Girl is too dangerous to keep around."
Confession Cam: Hit-Girl
"Those *beep* better be voting with me. Get the *beep* ouuta here Light".
At the elimination ceremony, Finn is hiding in the shadows once again while the Giant Sharks wait for Chris to start.
"Campers, there are eight marshmallows on this plate, but nine of you," said Chris. "That means that one of you is going home tonight. And you will never come back. Ever. The following people are safe." As Chris read each name, he threw the contestant a marshmallow. "Carly, Marty, Rachel, Katniss, Alice, Zidane and Murtagh. You are all safe. As for you two," as Chris said this, he faced Light and Hit-Girl. "One of you is taking the blast of shame and leaving here forever. And final marshmallow goes to . . ." The camera shows close-ups of a very nervous Light, an angry looking Hit-Girl, and Finn praying. "Light." The final marshmallow lands perfectly in Light's hand.
"WHAT?!" yells Finn, emerging from the shadows. "You're getting rid of her instead of HIM?! He's EVIL!"
"Honestly Finn, I was tempted to vote for Light," said Zidane. "But Hit-Girl is *beep* dangerous."
"YOU'RE ALL GONNA *beep* DIE FOR THI . . . ssss . . . zzz," screamed, then snored, Hit-Girl. At this point, she slumped over and revealed a tranquiliser dart in her neck.
"Thank you Ayane," called Chris.
"Shut the *beep* up Chris," said Ayane. "I brought those to take down Kasumi, and I only have four left now."
"I thought we established that she wasn't here?" said Chris.
"Oh no? Then what's this?" asked Ayane, producing several strands of red hair.
"Could be Kim's," said Chris.
"I know my own sister's hair," said Ayane. "I will find her." And with that, she left.
"Whatever. In the meantime, the rest of you are safe," said Chris. "For now. Chef, help me drag Hit-Girl's body to the cannon."
Chef appeared and slung Hit-Girl's limp body over his shoulder. "Won't be as much fun without the scream," said Chef.
"If you wanna wake her up, go ahead," said Chris. "I will be nowhere near when it happens though."
"Just sayin'," said Chef. As he said that, Hit-Girl started to move. "Better make this quick." Chef dropped her into the cannon and Chris quickly fired it. Hit-Girl went soaring over the horizon, to many contestants' relief. "Well, that went well," said Chris. "Wanna help me bribe the producers to keep us on air?"
"I'd be jobless if I didn't," said Chef, and the two left the pier.
Confession Cam: Light
"Finn's trying to get rid of me? I should have suspected as much. Well, if he's gonna play with fire, he better prepare to be burned."
Confession Cam: Finn
"Mark my words Light: you're next . . . when your team loses again, that is."
Camera cuts to Chris in a studio. "Well, isn't this interesting," said Chris. "Who will win out of Light and Finn? Who will win out of Annabeth and Bart? And am I really hiding Kasumi on this Island? Find out the answer to all these questions and more sometime before the end of this season of Total Drama All Stars."