Carly came down the stairs hearing him enter through the front door. "Hi, I'm almost ready." She ran to the kitchen scooping up her purse and tossing the items next to it inside.

"Wow," he grinned, standing by the door with his hands on his hips, "I've never seen anyone so excited to go to the doctor."

She smiled over at him, "It's my last appointment! Yes, I'm excited."

"Oh that's right. I forgot," he lied, "last appointment." He smiled to himself, having already planned a night out to celebrate.

She looked at him queerly, "How could you forget that? I've only mentioned it about a thousand times."

He shrugged, "I barely listen to you when you talk."

She walked toward him, rolling her eyes at his teasing grin. "And I barely notice when you walk around without a T-shirt on." She patted his stomach as she continued out the door.

That comment caught him off guard. He had sensed a slight flirtation from her over the last couple of days but that was blatant and couldn't be misinterpreted. It felt like the old Carly had just breezed by him. He swore he could still feel where her hand had touched him.

The rain fell on the windshield as Carly ran from the hospital parking lot to the open truck door. She jumped in and closed it quickly.

"It's raining so hard!" she said to him.

Steve leaned forward looking out the windshield. "It reminds me of this one day at the lake. It's coming down hard, but it'll be over quick. It's that time of year." He smiled over at her, "Well, how was the last appointment?"

She glanced over at him. "Why won't anyone tell me about Allan?"

He sat back in his seat and stared over at her. This was twice in one day that she had blindsided him. "Why…" he shook his head confused, "why would you want to know about him?" He gripped the bottom of the steering wheel becoming tense just over hearing that name. He hated that fucker and he hoped he was burning in hell.

Carly saw the change in him instantly and regretted asking. She thought maybe that was a question for someone else besides him, but it was too late. "I don't know. He was apart of my life that I don't remember."

"A part you don't need to remember! Jesus Carly…" He wiped his hand over his forehead as if still bewildered by that question. He looked away from her out the window, wondering where this came from all of a sudden. "Did you talk about him at your appointment?" he felt slightly jolted that she was so curious about her past with Allan, while her past with him was still a mystery and was going to remain that way it seemed like.

"We discussed him a little," she said, really regretting it now. "Dr. Caldwell wants me to go see a specialist in California that deals with memory loss."

He looked back over at her, that was number three. "What?! You're leaving Hawaii?"

She stared down at her hands. "Just for a couple of weeks is all."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was stunned. A car behind him beeped their horn asking him to move on so they could take advantage of the close spot to the entrance. He glanced in his rearview mirror and put the truck in gear stepping on the gas just a little to abruptly as the back tires spun before he released and did it more conservatively.

"Steve," she said passively, "this is nothing against you."

"Oh no," he snapped, "I don't take offense to it at all!"

She turned in her seat, "Pull over."

"Let's just not talk about it." He steered toward the exit, ignoring her request.

"Stop!" she reached over grabbing the steering wheel.

"Carly!" he pushed her hand away, "What are you doing?"

"Stop!" she said again.

He whipped the truck over taking up two spots in the far end of the parking lot, throwing it in park. "What the hells the matter with you?! Don't grab the steering wheel when I'm trying to drive!"

She sat back in her seat looking at him not concerned over the tongue thrashing but more worried over his outlook about Allan and her trip. "Please don't be upset over this."

He'd be lying if he told her he wasn't, so he didn't. The rain pounded on the truck making the silence in the cab deafening. A part of him wanted to tell her everything, from the Jet Ski incident all the way up to the part where he held her in his arms as she bled out from the wounds that Allan inflicted on her. But he knew he couldn't do that. He loved her and that would be beyond cruel. He just didn't say anything.

"Steve please," she felt sick to her stomach. The last thing she wanted was to make him unhappy. Things had been going so well and the feelings she had for him were blossoming faster than she could control. She was falling in love with him, she was sure of it.

He felt dazed wondering if her plan to leave had always been there and she just needed an excuse to make it happen. He loved her so much and was slowly coming to terms that she didn't feel the same. They hadn't talked about the two of them since that day she found the picture. That hurt, but like everything over this crazy six weeks, he let go of it, telling himself it would all work out. It was Carly after all. They had a bond that couldn't be severed, but that hope too was beginning to fade. "What do you want from me Carly?" his voice calmed and his question didn't come in the form of a statement or a cliché`, he asked as if he genuinely wanted to know. He emphasized it the second time around by looking right at her; his eyes so full of disappointment over their conversation. "What do you want from me?"

It was a loaded question and one she had so many answers too but couldn't wrap her brain around one. She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out, she wanted to tell him she didn't want anything, but she did. She wanted everything. It just couldn't get past her lips.

He took her silence as a negative reply. She always used to be able to tell him everything. Silence wasn't something that existed in their relationship. It was just another reminder of the reality he was stuck in. He had been trying so hard to bring her back from what Allan had created and now all she wanted was to talk about him. Remember him! It felt like a stab in the back.

He wished now he hadn't made the plans for dinner with Danny and Gracie. He just wanted to go home, but it was too late to change it now. He put the truck in reverse and backed out.

"Steve," she sighed, "Please don't be mad."

"Put on your seat belt," he ordered. His voice telling her he was done with this conversation.

She bit her bottom lip, knowing she had missed her opportunity to make it right with him. She did as she was told and faced the window.

They came out of the restaurant in pairs. Gracie and Carly and then Steve and Danny.

"Thanks for dinner," Danny said, slapping Steve on the back.

"You're welcome." He looked over at Carly and Gracie as they walked toward the main street in Waikiki. "Where are you guys going?" he called out.

Gracie turned and waved her arm for them to follow. "I want to show Carly this necklace I want for Christmas."

"Gracie!" Danny called out, "Waikiki is packed this time of night and Carly doesn't want to see that necklace."

"Yes I do," she countered him. Both girls turned back around, continuing on their mission.

Steve and Danny looked at each other, knowing they had lost. Steve motioned with his hand to follow them.

"So what's up with you and Carly?" Danny asked as the two of them walked behind, just out of earshot of the girls. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

Steve crossed his arms as they strolled along, "Or something. I thought we hid it pretty well. I guess not."

"You hid it enough for Gracie, but of course she's twelve." He tapped his finger on his temple. "She doesn't have the intuitiveness of her old man."

Steve huffed, "Wow, your like a freak of nature. I should pawn you off to the circus when they come."

"Was I right, or was I right?"

Steve looked over at him, "We hardly said a word to each other through dinner. Don't pat yourself on the back too hard."

"What are you fighting about?"

He looked over at him, "I'm not going to walk down the street and talk about my relationship with you like I'm a thirteen year old girl."

Danny shrugged it off, "Ok, I was just making conversation."

Steve watched her walk ahead of them talking with Gracie. They pointed out items in the store windows and even though he couldn't hear them he could make out the likes and dislikes. She had a good relationship with Gracie. He imagined her as a mother and knew she would be good at it. She would balance him out and make him a better a father too; he knew that for a fact. He didn't like this place they were in right now, but he couldn't help but feel bitter over the conversation in the truck. It stung and he couldn't understand her reasoning behind it. He could feel his resentment gaining momentum as he dwelled on it.

"Do you know what she said to me today?" he blurted out angrily, glaring at her ahead of them.

Danny almost laughed, knowing he would eventually come clean, "What? That you're predictable?"

Steve looked over at him annoyed, "What?"

He shook his head grinning, "Nothing. What did she say that pissed you off?"

"She wanted to know why no one talks about Allan," he let out a low growl. "Can you believe that shit?! Allan! Of all the fucking people she knows, she wants to know about him!"

Danny motioned for him to keep his voice down when both the girls turned around hearing only the 'f' word and an older couple walking past gave him the stink eye. "C'mon were in the middle of downtown Waikiki, settle down!"

"She has so many good memories she can reflect on." He put his hand on his chest, "I've given her plenty. Why him? I don't get it!"

"What's there to get? It's a part of her past. She wants to know about her past!" he used his hands to talk, "And frankly the fact that everyone keeps it a secret from her probably just heightens her curiosity."

"But he tried to kill her, twice!" he used his fingers as an example, "why would she want to relive that? You should have seen her the other day when she remembered Karen's' death," he sighed, hearing her cries over the phone, not wanting to hear that ever again. "It was really bad. It was hard to hear and see. I don't want to go through that again."

Danny looked up at him. "So this isn't necessarily about Carly, this is more about you."

"What?! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Sure I do. And I know you. You're jealous. You're pissed off that she wants to know about this guy and at the same time here you are treading water wondering why she's standing there with a life preserver and won't throw it out to you."

Steve stopped and looked at his overly pleased grin at knowing he had hit the jackpot on that theory. "I'm not jealous of Allan, Danny! That's a pretty messed up thing to say."

"I didn't say you were jealous of Allan," he corrected him, "of course you're not jealous of him. But you can't stand there and tell me that you aren't worried that her memory might come back about him before it does about you."

"Of course I am! That isn't some big news flash. I've been waiting for over a month. You think it's easy to listen to her want to know about him when she should be asking about me!"

Danny opened his hands up, as if he had just answered his own question. "There you go. This isn't about you Steve. This isn't about Carly wanting to hurt you. This is about her trying to come to terms with what happened to her. Think about it. What if it was you that woke up in a hospital with thirteen knife wounds in your belly from someone that you couldn't remember but at one time was your wife. Wouldn't you want to know why they did what they did? Hell, you're still trying to cope with the fact that you never got to wipe the floor with him," he sighed, wishing he could have seen that. "How do you think Carly feels?"

He hated it when he was right. He also hated it when he could point out the obvious when it was staring him right in the face. He looked up the way as she and Gracie waited for them outside the jewelry store. Gracie waved for them to hurry and Carly stood staring at him with that same pained expression, because she knew he was upset with her. He hated that look. "She wants to go to California for two weeks to see a specialist," he said somberly.

"So."

He looked at him and didn't have to say that he didn't want her to go, it was written all over his face.

"You can't keep her here under your wing and expect everything to work out on its own. You're doing good Steve our plan is working. She's still here. It's obvious she wants to be here, but did you think for a second that maybe she wants to go to California so things could be even better here? Maybe she's going for you."

"I need reassurance that she'll come back."

"Then tell her that."

He thought he had over and over the past month, but he still hadn't got an answer from her. He felt close to her, more and more everyday, but for his own peace of mind, he needed the reassurance from her without him having to ask or beg. He just couldn't do it. Danny had nailed it on the head though with the treading water theory. Most days he felt like he was going under and then something would happen and he'd find the strength to catch another breath, but it was getting more and more difficult. He was afraid this separation might be his breaking point.

Gracie came running back to them and took both of their hands, dragging them down the sidewalk. "Come on slow pokes."

Steve went with her willingly still focused on Carly as Danny pointed out the prices in that particular store and Santa not being made of money.

Carly felt her palms begin to sweat as they neared. His piercing blue eyes showed more compassion than they had in the last two hours. She felt relived over that, hoping that maybe this was behind them. She smiled at him but was quickly diverted by Gracie as she too was pulled into the store.

They came out fifteen minutes later with no necklace but a couple of ideas for both Steve and Danny for Christmas presents for her. Steve had even managed to get a glimpse at rings, but after the day they had, looking at them felt slightly depressing. They weren't there yet, they weren't even close. She didn't love him. He was convinced that if she did, she wouldn't leave him.

Danny took Gracie by the shoulder and turned her in the direction back to the restaurant. "We're going to head out. School night."

Steve went to follow when Carly reached for his arm. "Do you want to walk around for a while?"

He saw the pleading in her eyes and also thought it would be a better distraction than going home and having that giant elephant in the middle of the room. He nodded, "Sure."

They said their goodbyes to Danny and Gracie and stood on the sidewalk as crowds of people walked by them.

"Which way?" Carly asked.

He looked down Kalakaua Ave, which was the main strip of Waikiki. "There's some good shops down this way," he pointed.

Carly nodded her approval and they both started slowly walking down the street, side by side.

"Dinner was good," Carly said, "Thank you."

'You're welcome." He put an arm around her waist pulling toward him as a group of Japanese tourists blocked their path. He maneuvered around them and then let her go again.

"I think Danny will end up buying Gracie that necklace. What do you think?" Carly asked, trying to make conversation with him.

Steve shrugged, "I don't know, probably." They came up on a street performer, which were the norm in downtown Waikiki, located about every hundred yards. This one must have been good because the crowd gathered around them blocking the path. Steve got stuck behind a slow moving older couple as they stopped to argue about which direction their hotel was located. Carly kept going not noticing his absence.

She turned to say something and stopped looking behind her. She spotted him from his height in the crowd. He rolled his eyes, pointing at the old couple as they bickered back and forth. He couldn't get around them and started to laugh as the argument turned to an old one of when they were lost on a trip in Texas. The old man argued that it was her fault for not folding the map back correctly. She argued that he couldn't read it right even if it was folded right.

Carly pushed her way through the groups of people and finally made it over to him. She stood next to him when Steve finally intervened the couple, "Excuse me, but which hotel are you looking for, I can probably tell you which direction?"

They both looked over their shoulder and up at him. "The Waikiki Grand." The older man said.

Steve point straight ahead, "It's down that way about four blocks."

Carly smiled at them, standing close to Steve because there was nowhere else to stand.

"Thank you young man," the woman said. She looked at the two of them. "What a lovely couple you are." She glanced over at her husband smiling, "Reminds me of you and I at one point."

He laughed, taking her hand. "What do you mean at one point?"

She looked back at Steve and Carly. "Are you on your honeymoon?"

Steve went to correct her when Carly jumped in.

"Second honeymoon actually!" She wrapped her hand around his arm, "ten years and five kids." She glanced up at him with an adoring smile. "Isn't that right darling?"

He looked at her teasing grin and played along for the heck of it. "That's right, and with any luck we'll make it six on this trip. Isn't that right sweetie?"

Carly laughed, enjoying the fun. "That's right."

"Six!" the older woman exclaimed.

Carly looked at her, putting her arms around Steve's neck, "Well look at him, can you blame me?" She bit her bottom lip, growling at him, pretending to nibble his ear.

"Right back at you baby," Steve said, trying not to bust out laughing, "I can't keep my hands off of her, she's a tiger," he nudged the old man with a wink "you know what I mean?"

The couple looked at each other appalled and quickly said their thank you and moved on through the crowd.

Steve laughed, looking at her, "You are such a pervert. I think you offended them."

"Me?" she countered. "What was with the 'I can't keep my hands off of her?'" only she repeated it in a deep voice.

"I don't sound like that!" He put his arms around her waist while hers were still around his neck. "And you with the whole five kids thing."

She leaned back looking at him, "What? You don't think five kids in ten years is reasonable?"

"I like my hair black not gray."

Carly ran her fingers over the side of his head, smoothing his hair back. "You'd look good with some speckles of gray." She looked right at him, "you'd look good no matter what."

He held onto her, not letting go just yet. The crowd around hadn't let up but everyone around them seemed to vanish. He could only see her. He thought maybe it was an unusual time and place but he didn't want that dark cloud hanging over his head anymore. "I think I understand why you need to know about Allan."

She didn't want this moment spoiled by that name or that person. "I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm sorry."

He pulled her closer, "I don't want you to ever feel that you can't tell me something. I was wrong and I overreacted. You can tell me anything Carly."

She felt like he was stepping back to let her have the floor. She wondered if that wasn't an invitation as much as it was a statement. She didn't want to let it go by without voicing her feelings. She had wanted to say so much since that day he walked her down the mountain but she just couldn't find the nerve. As she looked at him and felt the heat from his body against her, she couldn't figure out what she had been so afraid of. It could only make things better.

"When you asked me earlier, 'what do you want from me'?" she rested her hand on his chest, " I saw how happy I was in that picture, how happy we both were. I want that." There were times, like at that second that she could see her past in him even with out remembering it. "You really did love me very much at one time, didn't you?" she asked.

His eyes roamed over her beautiful face, focusing on her lips. "You make it sound as if I stopped," he replied.

"Did you…stop?"

His hand went up her back until he had it buried in her hair, a place that had felt like home but he hadn't visited in so long. "No, I didn't stop. I still love you very much."

He thought he would feel relieved finally being able to say it to her, but not having it mutual made it almost meaningless in his eyes. He knew she wasn't there yet. He shouldn't have said it but for just that second it felt comfortable, familiar, and he missed that so much. God, it hurt worse now more than ever.

"I love you too," she said unexpectedly. She on the other hand did feel relieved to say it. It had been there the whole time and felt so good to get out.

He let go of her hair and let his hands fall to her arms, griping her a little too tightly. "Don't say that just because I did! I know you don't love me Carly, so don't just say it to fill the gap in the air," his voice bitter, angry that she would use that word so loosely.

"I'm not," she argued, "why don't you believe me?"

"Because you don't even know me." The hurt from that hadn't gone away he had just learned to mange it, but it was all coming unraveled as he stood there faced with the realism that it was all just a sympathy play to her. "I think you're saying that because you feel like you have to, but you don't. I wish you hadn't said anything at all. Don't treat me like the poor sap. I don't need your pity!"

"Steve," she said stunned, not knowing where any of this was coming from.

He gripped her tighter almost making a scene, his voice low and angry, but his face showed the pain that was engulfing him. "Don't lie to me!"

He moved past her making his way through the crowd. He felt like she was playing with him. He heard her call his name but he kept going. His anger toward her quickly turned toward him. How could he have let himself fall into this trap? He felt his chest tighten, needing to get the fuck out of there.

"Shit," he mumbled feeling everything he had been holding inside over the last six weeks begin to surface. The people's faces were blurred from the relentless tears that filled his eyes. He didn't even know if he was headed in the right direction back to the car. 'Christ,' he thought, feeling that pain as if his heart was going to break into a million pieces, 'this is crazy! I don't fucking cry! You're in the middle of downtown Waikiki! Get it together!' But no matter how hard he tried to contain himself and deny the wave of emotions that crashed over him like a wave, one right after another he was convinced that he was having some sort of breakdown. His vision was distorted and he stopped, having no idea where he was. He couldn't catch his breath and everything was spinning. He was scared to death of what was happening to him, feeling either he was going to pass out, or breakdown into tears in the middle of Kalakaua Ave. He felt a tug on his arm and began to move in the direction he was being pulled.

Carly steered him down a side street that led to the service entrance of a hotel. She leaned him back against the wall as he bent over, bracing his hands on his knees.

"It's ok, just breathe," she instructed while rubbing her hand gently over his back. She could feel the sweat through his shirt. "You're ok Steve. It's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. It's ok," she said soothingly, squatting down in front of him. She was trying to remain calm for him but her heart was racing. She just wanted whatever was happening to him to stop, it scared her.

"I can't do this anymore Carly," he mumbled, feeling like the ground was opening up and he was going to get sucked in. He reached out for her, grabbing onto her and standing up at the same time, taking her with him. He held tightly onto her arm, pulling her close, gently shaking her as if he were angry. "I can't do this anymore," his voice on the verge of breaking.

Her face was close to his, the shocked expression told him she didn't understand. "Do what Steve? What can't you do?"

He reached up, cupping her face with his trembling hand. "I can't pretend like everything is working out. I can't pretend to be this close to you and not want to touch you. I can't live in the same house with you and not want you in my bed." He dropped his head down, "I just can't do this anymore," he cried, "I miss you. I love you and I know that you don't feel it and I think that you leaving is your way out." He looked up at her trying to fight off the next wave that could possibly do him in. "If it is your way out, it's ok." He lied, but felt he needed to give her that opening.

"How can you say that?!" She put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back against the wall. "Just because I don't remember our past doesn't mean that I don't know who you are. I love this person!" She put a hand on his chest, "the one who has been there for me everyday since I woke up, "she gripped on to his shirt, making a fist of the material, tugging on it as if wanting him to hear her. "I love this person that has made me laugh and made feel safe and given me so much love in return that as I'm standing here right now I feel like I'm fighting for my life! Please don't think I would say that I love you just because it was the proper reply. I do love you!" Her voice calmed as she explained, "I know who you are Steve. I know exactly who you are, and I don't need to find my memory to know that." She smiled at him, "You drink milk out of carton. You fall asleep on the couch watching TV. You're an amazing police officer. You eat my horrible cooking." She smiled brighter getting a grin from him on that. "But most of all, you love me. Please don't deny me that same pleasure."

He realized then that he had done it. He had done exactly what Danny had encouraged him to do. He had managed to get her to fall in love with him all over again. He didn't even know how. His emotions were all over the place. He'd been so wound up for so long as if just waiting for the bomb to drop at any minute. He didn't know she had arrived to his level in the relationship, and just hearing it from her in that description, knowing he could finally let go of her not remembering what they had before because it really didn't matter anymore, was a freedom he just didn't know how to describe. He looked up at her feeling completely drained yet at the same time he felt that shift in their relationship he had been holding out for. He touched her face in a way that he'd been craving, moving his thumb over her lips, his arm around her waist pulling her intimately close.

She felt like putty in his arms, holding on around his neck so she wouldn't slide down to the ground, although if he didn't kiss her soon she felt she might fall to her knees and beg him too. "Please don't make me wait anymore," she whispered.

He smiled, recalling that was the exact statement she had made to him the first time they had made love. And just like then he gave her what she asked.

The second they connected she seemed to know exactly what to do in order to heighten his pleasure; it felt so natural. She greeted him with the same enthusiasm as if they'd been starving for it. His body relaxed almost immediately and all she could think of was the picture. She felt like she looked in the picture. It was unbelievable. He really knew how to kiss, she thought, or was it that he knew how to kiss her? That very idea made her weak and she held onto him savoring every second of it.

They finally broke apart, not even knowing that two people had walked by, commenting on the display. They were in their own little world again. It was as if he was waking up from a bad dream and nothing had really changed at all. He rested his head on her shoulder, putting both his arms around her tightly.

She held him just as close, "Let's not worry about the past anymore, lets just focus on us for now."

His cheek brushed against hers as he faced her again, resting his forehead on hers. "I forgot how easy it was to be with you."

She kissed him on the lips, "You haven't seen anything yet."