Steve woke up and instinctively reached for her, feeling an empty bed. He sat up and looked toward the door and then in the other direction toward the lanai and saw her kneeling on the floor by the side of the bed.
He scooted over, looking down at her. "Hey, what are you doing?" But when she looked up at him he caught her expression in the faint light coming from the doors to the deck. The place where she was sitting and staring and the look on her face told him she was remembering that night. "Carly," he said it as if he wanted to shield her from it, whipping the covers off and going to her. This was the moment he had been most dreading.
She felt numb, even as he knelt down next to her, putting an arm around her. When she first woke up she thought it was a dream but the more she remembered the more she came to realize it had been her reality. Allan's face was as clear as if he had been standing over her once again. She felt a shiver run down her spine, recalling the anger that came from him as she tried to block his attack. She looked at the scar on her arm, remembering how she covered her heart, deflecting him from that area.
Steve felt her body shiver in the warm night air and moved in front of her, taking her by the shoulders, "Carly, look at me." His hand went up around her neck as she slowly gazed up at him with tears beginning to stream down her face. The shock on her face left him crushed, "Don't be afraid Carly, just let it come. I'm right here this time. Please don't be afraid."
She blinked away the tears clearing her eyes and looked at him, seeing that concern when her welfare was always in play. She glanced down at the spot where she had laid bleeding, remembering looking up at him as he held her in his arms right after. The fear vanished at that moment, the same as it did that night. She reached up touching his face. "You were there," her expression mirrored his. "I remember seeing you. You were so scared, but you tried to hide it so I wouldn't be." She could hear the panic in his voice when he screamed for Danny after finding her. His hands shaking as he tried to comfort her, telling her it was ok. "Oh Steve," she cried, "it must have been awful for you."
He shook his head, not wanting to feel that again, "Carly don't."
She felt his body tense up. "Don't you be afraid," she whispered, "I'm here too." She scooted closer to him. "I'm so sorry for everything that you went through, and for making you go through it alone."
He bent his head as the tables turned. He had crawled on the floor to comfort her, to help her through it, but it was quickly becoming his healing and he wasn't prepared to have it all come crashing down on him like it was. He went to move away from her, but she put her arms around him preventing his departure. He turned his head to the side, "Please don't do this."
"I would have died right here, right in this spot if it hadn't been for you."
"That's not true," he swallowed down the memories that were beginning to haunt him, "you're so strong."
"I'm strong because of you," she said, stressing it even more, "I was strong that night because of you. I waited for you to come home because I knew once you were there, everything would be ok," she glided her hand over his bent head, "and it was."
He shuttered remembering the blood on his hands and clothes, "I thought I was going to lose you," he cried, feeling it hard to breathe. It was the first time he'd let himself feel that night. "We lost so much that night, Carly," his voice wounded, thinking of their baby.
"All we really lost was time, just a little bit, but we have it back now."
He looked up at her with tears and an overwhelming amount of sorrow in his eyes, gently shaking his head, "We lost something we can never get back."
Her heart went out to him, not understanding what it was they lost, but whatever it was she wanted to assure him that it was in the past. "Just let it go. It doesn't matter now."
He had to tell her. He couldn't keep it from her any longer, even though the last thing he wanted was to give her the pain that it had caused him, she deserved to know. He also took into great consideration their baby's life, no matter how brief; it also deserved that right to be grieved by its Mother. He needed to be the one to tell her, it shouldn't come from anyone else.
She was well aware of his struggle to tell her something, hoping it might ease his pain some by sharing it. She caressed her hand up and down his arm, trying to relax him, but at the same time she wasn't so sure she wanted to know.
"That picture you found," he barely got the words out not able to complete his thought.
She nodded her understanding, "The one I found of the two of us." She smiled, recalling how happy they looked. "Why does that picture make you so sad?"
He tried to swallow the dryness in his throat, wanting to be clear because he didn't think he could say it twice. He looked up at her, hesitating and then forcing the dreaded words out. "You were pregnant, Carly."
His words were so shocking she shook her head; not believing it at first, "No," she whispered at that disturbing news, covering her mouth not wanting to believe it, but even as she tried to deny it, her heart sank, knowing it was true because she could see the truth all over his grief stricken face.
He could easily rate this moment as possibly one of the worst of his life. "I'm so sorry."
'A baby,' she thought sadly. She put her hand over her stomach, feeling where that little life had been living. The life they had created together. She thought about how she had tried to protect herself from Allan's blows, if only she would have known; she would have protected this area with the same urgency as she did her heart. She never even got the chance to experience that little life inside her before it was taken from her so violently. She fell against Steve, needing to be close to him as the attack on her reared its ugly head. The second she felt that secure embrace she broke down, clinging to him as the pain from what she had just been told hit her.
He held her as close as possible, her body trembling. He knew what she was feeling, that horrible sense of loss. He felt it all over again. It had been such a turbulent past few weeks, and as it all caught up with him, he couldn't hold it back even if he wanted too. The only recourse that gave him any relief was being able to hold her again.
Carly eased herself down from the moment, pulling back so she could see him. Even in the dark she could see and feel his equaled grief. This loss no matter how significant and treacherous only brought them closer together. She felt that bond between them strengthen with every second that ticked by.
She sniffed and her voice shuttered as she tried to speak. "Do you," she gulped down air and tried again. "Do you know if it was a boy or a girl?"
He shook his head, "It was too soon." He put his hand on her face, wiping away her tears, trying to see her through his, "But they said you were ok. There was no long term damage." He smiled slightly; feeling a glimpse of hope in this messed up situation. "You can still conceive another one."
She felt a small sense of relief from that, nodding her understanding. "Ok, we can try again."
He agreed with her by nodding also, "I'd like that too."
She touched his lips, gliding her finger over them, "Will you marry me first, Steve?"
He smiled and couldn't help but chuckle over her statement that caught him by surprise, but at the same time lifted his spirits. "Of course I will. I've been waiting for seventeen years to marry you, Carly. I've wanted it since the first time I stood on your porch and kissed you. I've always known that you were the one."
She didn't need to know her past to recognize her future. It was smiling down all over her. Her love for him seemed to have no end in sight. "I love you so very much."
Those were the most comforting words he'd ever heard. He not only heard it loud and clear but more importantly he felt it. It was as if she had reached inside his chest and held his heart with her hands. He felt her warmth all over his body. "I love you." His voice echoed what he was feeling inside; looking upon her in a way that filled her with the same deep devotion that she knew would sustain them through anything that life could throw at them. They had already proved it twice-fold.
She put her hand behind his neck and lay back on the floor, pulling him down with her. He went willingly, eager to follow her anywhere, never once taking his eyes off of hers'. He was fixated on her, falling deeper and deeper under her spell. When she kissed him he could feel himself being lifted out of the abyss that had been pulling him down. When she wrapped her arms around him her embrace shielded him from a lifetime of loneliness. But when she lifted her hips and took him inside, he succumbed to her in every way imaginable, smiling from the inside out…
He'd made it.
Life was good again.
Life was very, very good.
The End
Authors note: Thanks to everyone for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it.
My vacation to Hawaii was awesome! But the best part of the trip was when I came out of my hotel early one morning to go for a hike up Diamond Head and I noticed some activity across the street at the Zoo. Low and behold they were filming Hawaii Five O. Of course I walked over and had to check it out.
I watched Daniel Dae Kim film a scene where he trips this guy getting out of his car and points his shot gun at him and tells him "don't move". The new Chief of Police was in it too. They shot it about four times before they were satisfied. Daniel then started walking back to the trailers and I kind of just followed behind and stopped not wanting to go up any closer and get in trouble. I was about to leave when Alex O'Loughlin came walking up to go around the other side of the Zoo and rehearse his scene. I didn't even know it was him until he was about 10 feet from me. Blue shirt, white shorts and blue Nikes (it was a good look). He was with a couple of the security guys and his assistant I think. He walked right by me and I said 'Hi' and he said 'Hi' back. I asked him for a pic and he hesitated for a second and then said sure, but at the same time the security guy came up and said no pictures! Alex took a step back and looked kind of sheepish and said he was sorry but they were just doing their job and he didn't want to get anyone in trouble. I wasn't about to argue or whine so just said ok. But, I did follow behind them back around the Zoo and sat on a bench very quietly with my phone in my back pocket and watched them rehearse the scene from about 20 feet away and then he went back to his trailer to change. One of the security guys came up and said if I just sat there and didn't take any pictures I could stay. They are very strict about pictures while filming! Very strict!
So I sat patiently and he came back about ten minutes later in brown cargos and a long sleeve brown shirt and shot the scene with Chi McBride. They did it about 6 times. The scene reflects around a criminal that is in the Zoo that is wanted and they have the Swat team surround it, but Chi and Alex, or Grover and McGarrett get in an argument about how to go about getting the guy out. It was so cool! Between the takes, Alex told a story to the crew about getting his son to take his first step. I couldn't hear the whole thing, but as you can imagine he was very animated in telling it. The crew was cracking up. After the last scene they shuffled him back to his trailer and then they set up again in the hotel behind mine for another scene, but I went surfing instead. I already got my fix…it was pretty cool. So the only pic I ended up getting was of him walking away while reading his script. But I do have the mental one of that blue shirt, white shorts and Nikes. And for the record, he doesn't walk anything like McGarrett, and he is WAY better looking in person! That surprised me…Aloha!