The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Katniss tried to recruit Carly to help get rid of Light, but couldn't get far. Kevin discovered Bart is working with Light, and was about to tell everyone when I gathered them for the day's challenge: a literal Highway to Hell. I couldn't wait to burn them to the ground. Anyway, after Marty, Kevin, and Carly all suffered burns, the latter of which was to over 90% of her body, the Giant Sharks lost yet another challenge, and for the first time this season, a contestant, namely Carly, quit. Didn't stop her getting fired from a cannon though." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Who will choke on their words? Who will watch what they say? And . . ." Chris held his hand up to his earpiece, trying to hear what was being said. "What did you say? Really? You've gotta be kidding me. Okay, whatever." Chris turned back to the camera. "What was that about? Find out right here in Total Drama All Stars."
Intro song plays.
Light and Bart are seen sitting on the pier. "So Bart," said Light. "You're telling me that Kevin knows of our alliance?"
"Is it a bad thing?" asked Bart.
"It depends," said Light. "If your team keeps winning, then you'll be safe for a while. If, however, my team wins the next challenge, Kevin has a very good excuse to get rid of you, and enough evidence to back his claim. He may have to be the next target."
"Done," said Bart. "Now, what's the deal with you and Kim?"
"I've told her I'm interested in dating her," said Light. "Sadly, because we're on different teams, we can't do it. Hopefully something will happen soon that'll help remove this obstacle. We could use another ally."
"Okay," said Bart. "And Marty?"
"I've got him onside," said Light. "However, he does not know about you, since I can't risk him seeing my, shall we say, shady side. Like Kim, once I find a way around this, we will be the final four."
"Excellent," said Bart, with his palms together and his fingers tapping against each other.
Meanwhile, in the Giant Sharks cabin . . .
"Zidane, we need to talk," said Katniss.
"Katniss, I swear I can change," said Zidane.
"Not that," said Katniss. "I need an alliance, and you're now the only one I can turn to."
"Oh, right," said Zidane. "Yeah, sure, I'm in."
"You're sure?" said Katniss. "Because last time I asked you, I'm pretty sure you weren't listening."
"I'm sure Katniss," said Zidane. "You want my help getting rid of Light and possibly Marty."
"Only Light," said Katniss. "I'm pretty sure Marty's just under Light's spell. We get rid of Light, we get Marty back."
"We should still get rid of Marty after Light though," said Zidane. "Then it'll just be the two of us, alone in the cabin . . ."
"In your dreams Zidane," said Katniss, leaving the cabin.
Confession Cam: Zidane
"She's totally into me."
"Campers, your next challenge starts just as soon as I'm off the phone with the network," said Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.
"Network? I thought we were just some nerd's fan fiction," said Ayane.
"Shh, he can hear you," said Marty.
Twenty minutes later, at the amphitheatre . . .
"What do you mean, you're waiting for the people to decide if they want a second season?" demanded Chris to someone on the phone. "You asked them last week. Surely they've responded by now. Yes, I know you write these a month in advance, but can't you just edit something into this episode? I don't want to wait until episode 17 to find out about the future of the show. Yes, I know you control what I say. Yes, I know I'm a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater. HEY! Okay, I'll get on with the episode, but this isn't over." Chris hung up the phone and faced the contestants.
"Who was that?" asked Kim.
"The producer," said Chris. "But anyway, time to tell you about today's challenge."
"Don't you mean today's suicide?" asked Wallace.
"Don't worry," said Chris. "Today's challenge isn't that dangerous if you do it right. Speaking of which, I have some good news and some bad news."
"Is the bad news that this challenge is more dangerous than suicide?" asked Ash.
"Nope. It's worse than that," said Chris. "Originally, this was going to be a non-elimination challenge, but . . ."
"Yo, yo, yo, this year's winner is in the house," said some kid who suddenly appeared next to Chris.
"Ezekiel, I told you to wait until I called you," said Chris.
"Oh, come on eh," said Ezekiel. "They can't be deprived of me forever."
"Hold on, let me get this straight," said Light. "To make this season more interesting, you decided to bring back one of the old contestants?"
"Not my idea," said Chris. "Allow me to explain. Shortly after Total Drama Action, Ezekiel got a record deal, and released a rap album. We didn't pay any attention to it because, let's face it, it's Ezekiel. Anyway, the album went triple diamond, and he made gazillions of dollars out of it. And before you say 'gazillion' isn't a number, they actually invented it for him. Anyway, Ezekiel had so much money, he didn't need to compete in World Tour. He just got greedy. After Revenge of the Island, Ezekiel used some of that money on plastic surgery and rehab so he could look human again. Now, because he wants to get that money back, he hired a high price lawyer who found some minute loophole in the rules that allowed him to join this season. A loophole that is now closed, thank you."
"What was the loophole?" asked Kevin.
"Never mind," said Chris.
"So, I assume Ezekiel is on our team," said Katniss.
"Nope," said Chris.
"What? He's on the Vipers? That gives them seven members to our four," said Zidane.
"Wrong again," said Chris. "Time for the good news. As of this moment, the two teams are officially dissolved. From this point on, it's every camper for themself. Katniss, you can move your stuff into the Striking Vipers cabin. Ash, Bart, Ezekiel, Kevin, and Wallace, you'll all be moving to the Giant Sharks cabin."
Confession Cam: Light
"Perfect. Now no-one will care if I've got a few alliances."
Confession Cam: Katniss
"I don't like the idea of Light having such access to most of the guys, particularly the ones I'm sure aren't on his side . . . yet."
Confession Cam: Ezekiel
"Finally, eh. I finally won't come last in the season eh. Maybe that's the only reason I can't win: it's because I can't make it past the first episode."
"Now, time to tell you about today's challenge," said Chris. "Like I said, not that dangerous . . . unless you make it dangerous. All you have to do is tell the truth."
"Is that it?" asked Bart. "That's WAY too easy."
"Not quite," said Chris. "You have to say what you really think about all your fellow contestants. You get one point for every time you tell the truth. The one who gets the most points gains invincibility from tonight's vote. Any questions?" No-one spoke. "Okay, let's start. Let's see the first one alphabetically is . . . Ash."
"Wait a sec," said Light. "When sorting names, normally you start with last names, which would be . . . actually, what are Ayane and Ezekiel's last names?"
"Non-existent," said Chris. "So, we're going by first names."
"But normally . . ." started Light.
"Shut up," said Chris. "It's challenge time. Oh, and by the way, to make you tell the truth, I'll let Chef show you what we've got in store for you."
Chef walked up on stage, wheeling out with him some kind of machine. "This here machine is a lie detector," said Chef. "But not just any lie detector. This is has been specially customised by me to electrocute you with twenty thousand volts at the slightest hint of dishonesty. So, even if you can't say something nice, you'd better say something, or fry. I'm kinda hoping for the fry though. My restaurant opening flopped with no food to serve."
Ash gulped nervously, and several others looked worried. Ash stepped up to the stage, allowed himself to be strapped into the machine, and began speaking. "Ayane, you are the strongest woman I know, because I've never seen a person do better in a fight than Infernape. Katniss, I've seen you with a bow, and you're an impressive archer. Kim, you're a beautiful girl who can do better than Light. Zidane, I believe you've stolen the Pokéball with Primeape in it. Give it back before I unleash his full fury on you. Ezekiel, you are a smart AHHHH!" This last part was spoken as twenty thousand volts suddenly charged through Ash's body.
"Ooh, so close," said Chris. "Four points. Next up, Ayane." Ayane jumped up on stage as Chef unstrapped Ash and flung his body offstage. She got strapped in and began speaking. "Bart, you're an annoying pipsqueak. Kevin, you're not entirely useless. Light, you are a conniving, manipulative *beep*. Wallace, you are a lazy little *beep*. Ash, you I kind of respect. Kim, you I actually do respect, apart from your relationship with Light. Zidane, I will break you if you don't give me back my last tranquiliser. Marty, I have no strong feelings for you one way or the other. And Katniss, you're a good fighter." Ayane then began undoing the straps on the machine.
"Hey, whoa," said Chris. "What about Ezekiel?"
"What about Ezekiel?" demanded Ayane as she undid the last strap.
"Good point," said Chris. "That's nine points to Ayane. Not bad. Bart, you're up."
Bart stepped up onstage, and Chef strapped him into the machine. "Now, feel free to lie while you're up here, kid," said Chef. "I don't think I'm gonna get much outta that Ash kid."
"Huh?" asked Bart
"Nothing," said Chef, walking offstage.
Bart hesitated a minute, unsure what to make of Chef's comment, but then started speaking. "Light, as far as I'm concerned, you're the only smart guy here. Ezekiel, you can *beep* off. You don't need the money. Wallace, you're cool. You seem to pay more attention to dudes than chicks. Kevin, get with the times. No-one uses tape recorders these days. Marty, same deal. Ayane, for a chick, you're coo . . ." Bart was suddenly cut off by the machine electrocuting him.
Chris and Chef came onstage. "Not gonna get much outta him either," said Chef, unstrapping Bart.
"I really don't think you should be saying that on national TV," said Chris. "Anyway, five points. Next up we have Ezekiel."
Ezekiel stepped onstage and got strapped into the machine by Chef. "I think . . ." started Ezekiel, but was cut off by the machine electrocuting him.
"Surprised he lasted that long," said Chris as Chef removed Ezekiel. "Zero points. Katniss, you're up."
Katniss walked onstage and allowed herself to be strapped into the machine. "Kim, you were fun to fight. Please never get reaped in the same Hunger Games as me. This applies to you too Ayane. Zidane, you come across as a creepy monkey, but you're a good guy at heart. Please give me my bow back. Wallace, do you . . . umm, 'prefer Adam and Steve', if you get my meaning. Ash, I honestly don't think you should be storing animals in those tiny balls. Ezekiel, you're an idiot. Bart, you're a sexist pig. Marty, you need to stop hanging out with Light. He's a bad influence. Kevin, Carly's not interested in . . . AHH!" In case you haven't guessed, Katniss was electrocuted. "Hey, that was true." Again, she got shocked. This time though, she passed out.
"Ooh, so close to full points," said Chris. "Still, eight is pretty good. Kevin, if you would."
Kevin got up onstage as Chef removed Katniss's still smouldering body. As he got strapped in, he began talking. "Ezekiel, you suck. Wallace, you're not so bad . . ." At this point, Kevin got electrocuted, obviously not learning from his opponents that lying doesn't help.
"I love this game," said Chris. "One point. Okay, our next victim is Kim."
Kevin's body was removed from the machine, and Kim replaced him. "Ash, your Pikachu's the only cute thing about you. Bart, I could kick your butt if I wanted, and trust me, I'm very tempted to. Zidane, where is my bra you sick *beep*? Ayane, you're awesome. Can you teach me some of those moves? Same with you, Katniss. Marty, I know you and Light are friends, so if you could get him to talk to me, we'll be BFFs. Ezekiel, I guess you're sorta cute . . ." Liar.
"So, even though Light is sitting in the audience that she's talking to, she still feels the need to ask one of his friends to ask him to ask her out," said Chris. "Typical cheerleaders. Six points. Speaking of Light, he's up. This should be good."
Light walked onstage, and sat down as Kim's body was removed. As soon as Light was strapped in, the machine seemed to start electrocuting Light. However, Light still made a start. "Kevin, I respect your intelligence, and would like to say that your concerns are unfounded. Wallace, you really should make more of an effort to be competitive. I never saw you actually help your team at any point. Marty, I . . ." Finally, the machine could take no more, and let off a powerful discharge.
"Pretty sure that was more than twenty thousand," said Chris. "Two points. Marty, you're up."
Marty took the seat once Light was cleared from it, and started speaking the second he was strapped in. "I have the greatest respect for all my fellow contestants." The machine did nothing, and Marty said nothing more.
"Well, I guess that counts," said Chris, disappointed with the lack of injury. "I guess that means you get a full score, and have immunity from tonight's vote. Wallace, you're up."
Wallace sat in the chair and got strapped in like everyone else, and started speaking. "Ash, just an FYI, I have informed PETA of your storing of large animals in tiny balls. They said they made a video game based on it to raise awareness. Light, you are a despicable yet sexy *beep*. Bart, you're a brat, and since your name is an anagram of it, I think your parents knew this from the start. Katniss, your attempts to get rid of Light are futile . . ." Wallace's body suddenly started convulsing as the electrocution took effect.
"I'm not sure why he would lie about that," said Chris. "Well, he gets three points. Zidane, you've seen everyone but Ayane and Marty electrocuted for lying. Surely you won't make the same mistake."
"Everyone else did," said Chef. "I wager he will."
"You're on," said Chris as Zidane was strapped into the chair.
"Kevin, you make things tricky to steal. Ezekiel, I've known you half an hour and can already tell you're an idiot. Katniss, please go out with me. Marty, I refuse to believe a nice guy like you would help Light. Kim, please go out with me. Light, you're a good for nothing, dirty rotten piece of *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeep*. Ayane, please go out with me. Wallace, you seem like a lively kinda guy . . ." Apparently, Zidane didn't learn from his fellow contestants, and was electrocuted like most of them.
Chris scowled, then paid Chef. "Well, there we have it. Marty wins, so he has immunity from tonight's vote. Everyone else, decide who you want gone."
"Err, Chris?" asked Chef. "Wouldn't that just be Ayane?"
"Come on Chef," said Chris. "We still have eleven episodes, including two Aftermath specials this season. We can't do that with only two contestants."
Chef sighed. "Okay, I'll take them to the infirmary," said Chef. "I guess I'll have to find a different business venture."
Three hours later, when everyone had recovered somewhat . . .
"So, who are you losers voting for?" asked Ezekiel.
"You know, you shouldn't call your competition losers," said Light.
"But I've got a feeling I'm going to win this season," said Ezekiel. "By the way, I'm voting for Kevin."
"Why?" asked Kevin. "For telling the truth?"
"I'm starting to understand why you never make it past the first episode," said Ayane.
"Who cares what you think? You're just a dumb girl," said Ezekiel.
The shocked silence that followed was broken at about the same time as Ezekiel's arm.
Confession Cam: Marty
"Look, Light wants me to get rid of Katniss, but honestly, that Ezekiel guy is just horrible. I'm voting for Ezekiel."
Confession Cam: Kim
"Ezekiel."
Confession Cam: Wallace
"Ezekiel."
Confession Cam: Ash
"Ezekiel."
Confession Cam: Ezekiel
"Kevin."
Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .
"Alright campers," said Chris. "There are eleven of you left, but there are ten marshmallows on this plate. That means that one of you is going home via the Blast of Shame, and you will never, ever ever, be allowed to return. Ever. The following campers are safe." As Chris spoke each name, he threw a marshmallow to them. "Marty, Ayane, Katniss, Zidane, Kim, Bart, Ash, Wallace, and Light. You're all safe." The camera turned to a nervous looking Ezekiel (with his arm in a sling) and a confident looking Kevin. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. One of you will get it. The other will be blasted off this island from that cannon. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera started quickly jumping between Kevin and Ezekiel. "Kevin." The final marshmallow landed on Kevin's lap.
"What? That's not fair eh," said Ezekiel. "I'm meant to win this season."
"And you might have," said Chris. "If you weren't so universally hated, and if you were actually a good competitor. Chef, if you would."
Chef grabbed Ezekiel and dragged him to the cannon. "Hey Chris," said Chef. "Since Ezekiel got eliminated in the only episode he competed in, does this make this episode . . ."
"Yep," said Chris, firing the cannon. "Pointless filler." He then turned to the camera. "Have we seen the last of Ezekiel? Will we bring back any other classic Total Drama characters before the end of the season? And what havoc can we cause between now and the season finale? The answer is no for the first two, but find out the answer to that last question over the next eleven weeks, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."