Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters etc, and I wish SM didn't own them either.

Chapter Eleven – She Has a Hissy Fit

"Is he a good kisser?" Alice asked, looking up from the delicate embroidery she'd been sewing along the hemline of a voluminous and frothy dress in preparation for the following weekend.

"I choose to plead the fifth," Bella replied, closing her book over her finger and flashing her friend an enigmatic smile.

The two girls had been holed up in Alice's bedroom for most of the afternoon, reading, sewing, laughing, and trying to catch up after the whirlwind two weeks that had passed since Edward had made such an impression on Forks. Bella was in her usual post, plopped against the umpteen pillows Alice insisted were necessary for her to sleep, and Alice was sitting on the end of the bed with various colors of thread encircling her and a frightening number of needles poking out from various places. They were listening to some strange CD that Edward had lent her for the day - he hadn't explained, just handed her the CD as he kissed her goodbye after their date the previous evening. It wasn't until Alice had turned it on that she realized it was something Alice would like…something only Alice would like.

"That means one of two things. One…he's awful. But I rather doubt it. So that leads the second option. He's amazing and it makes you all hot to think about it and you know talking about it will make you blush and you hate that and AHA!" she exclaimed as Bella's cheeks burned. "I knew it."

"Alice," Bella warned.

She wanted to scowl, but she couldn't quite make herself do it because the image that had come into her head when Alice had talked about being hot all over had not been Edward at all. Despite all of her efforts, the memory of the kiss she and Jasper had shared would sneak up on her, often at the worst possible times. More than once she'd been assaulted by remembrance while talking to Alice, and the guilt was enough to make her do almost anything. It was hard to keep something from her in general, much less something as monumental as a, quite frankly, really hot make-out session with her boyfriend.

Edward had agreed that telling Alice would create more problems than it caused, and that it wasn't her place to tell anyway. She may have responded, but it had been Jasper who had climbed into her window. And it had been Jasper who had taken advantage of her and kissed her. It was hard to think of it as having taken advantage given her enthusiastic response, but the idea of it still rang true to her.

"Hello…earth to Bella!" Alice giggled, waving her hand around spastically.

"Sorry."

"Where'd you go? Fantasizing about your new boy toy?"

"He's not a boy toy," Bella sighed.

"But you want him to be," Alice said, waggling her eyebrows.

"Mind your own business."

"When have I ever done that?"

"Look, Edward is a great kisser. I like kissing him. Kissing him makes me feel like I'm more of myself. Are you happy?"

"He's totally had his hand up your shirt!"

"Alice!" Bella exclaimed, pelting an acid green satin pillow at her friend's head.

"Needles! I am surrounded by needles," Alice reminded her, brandishing a spool of thread in surrender.

"New subject," Bella ordered.

"I wish we could double," Alice sighed. "Edward seems like fun."

"Yes, well…I don't see that happening. On either account."

"Boys suck," Alice said, gathering up all her embroidery tools and pitching them in her sewing bucket before coming to flop back next to Bella at the top of the bed. "Why doesn't Edward like me?"

She'd tried to sound blasé, but Bella could hear the pout in her tone.

"He tries not to like anyone," she said, sliding down and staring at the ceiling. "He picked out this CD for today, though. It seems that even in all of his arrogant standoffishness he finds you irresistible."

"He should join the club," Alice laughed. "Seriously though. What's his deal?"

"I don't think I can say," Bella hedged. "He's so private about things that sometimes he barely tells me what's going on in his head."

"I'm your best friend," she said, turning on her puss-in-boots face.

"No way," Bella said, scooting away. "Don't you even start that."

Alice's lower lip trembled.

"Fine. You tell me what J's deal is, and I'll tell you about Edward's."

"That's fighting dirty," Alice said.

"I learned from the best," Bella replied, elbowing her in the side playfully.

"I wish I could tell you. I really do, but I only know so much. And most of what I know is based on my own theorizing."

"Which is?"

"That's not fair, Bella," Alice whispered, strangely subdued. "Jasper is your friend. You should be talking to him about this."

"He hasn't been my friend in years."

"That's ridiculous."

"It's not, and you know it. How did things turn into such a mess?" Bella wondered, picking idly at the sleeve of the blue flannel she'd stolen from Edward.

Alice didn't say anything. For a long time they both stayed oddly still, listening to the CD Edward had made them and thinking their own thoughts, Bella mostly worried what Alice could be thinking…what her theories were. She wanted to know what her friend suspected.

She sighed. She knew that wasn't strictly true. She wanted what Alice suspected to be what she herself suspected. No matter how she'd tried to forget about her feelings for Jasper – no matter how hard she'd tried to convince herself she was an idiot for even having them – it wasn't that easy. There were times when she'd catch him glaring at her that she'd feel absolutely vindicated. There were times when Edward kissed her that she knew her decision had been the best of any possible options. But then there were times when she was lying in bed alone at night, wondering what the hell that note had said…wondering if he felt as awful seeing her hold Edward's hand as she had when watching him and Alice together.

"So…I think Charlie might be seeing someone," she said, attempting to lighten the mood and distract them both.

It worked. Alice sat bolt upright, her mouth half open and her blue eyes wide. "Oh my god! Who? How do you know? Have you seen her? Tell me everything!"

"Woah…slow down," Bella laughed. "I don't know her name or anything. He's just gone late sometimes, and he's being more quiet even than normal. That means he has a secret and he can't talk without just blurting it out."

"I really hope he does. Your dad needs to get laid."

"Alice!" Bella yelled, again reaching for a pillow to beat her friend with. "If you try to talk to me about Charlie's sex-life I won't tell you anything."

"Fair enough. I just think it's crazy sad that he's been pretty much alone since your mom left. Well," she amended, fixing Bella with a glare. "Minus the Felicia fiasco."

"That wasn't my fault. I was ten!"

Alice just stared at her.

"She wanted to be my mom. I didn't want one because the last one left me in a strange house and abandoned me! Total justification."

"But she was so nice, Bella! And she really liked Charlie and Charlie really liked her…and she made the best fucking brownies of all time. AND!"

"No ands, Alice. Please. I still feel bad about it."

"But you think he's dating again?"

"Yeah. I'm not even close to positive. It's all mostly wild conjecture on my part, but last Friday I asked if he wanted to come have dinner with me at the Cullens house and he got all pink and said he was going fishing."

"Let's spy on him," Alice said, climbing to sit on her knees and clap her hands in excitement.

"No," Bella said sternly. "Absolutely not. I don't want him to start to think I'm uncomfortable if I'm right."

"He won't ever know," Alice wheedled.

"Yes he will. And you know it."

Alice opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. Bella scrambled for it, but Alice was in a better position and propelled herself off the bed to get to it first.

"Bella Swan's house of kill-joy, how may I help you?"

"Alice, give me my phone," she hissed.

"I'm sorry, sir, Bella is unavailable for the moment. For the rest of the day, really. Kill-joy though she may be, she was my kill-joy first, and you've been hogging her."

"Damnit," Bella grumbled, getting off the bed and advancing toward her friend.

"That may be, but I have her until at least seven. Unless, of course, you want to come over and hang out with us."

Bella froze. She knew Edward would say no, but she couldn't stop herself wondering if after the CD-incident that maybe he might prove her wrong. Alice's half-frown indicated that he wouldn't, and she couldn't help but be disappointed.

"Well," Alice said, "it's not my fault that you can't share. And it's not my fault that you're an ass and won't hang out with me." She paused. "Fine. I'll ask her. Bye, butthead."

"Did you just call Edward a butthead?" Bella asked, her mouth quirking into a semi-grin.

"I only speak the truth," Alice sighed. "He says to tell you that he's thinking about taking a drive and he wanted to see if he could come and get you."

"Oh," she said. "Well, I'll…I'm just…Give me my phone. I've got to call him and tell him no."

"You should go, B," Alice said quietly. "I know you want to."

"I do. But I want to hang out with you too."

"So why can't it be both?"

"Because he's a butthead?"

"Yes, he really is," Alice said, no hint of a smile on her face.

"That's not fair."

"Yes it is, Bella. He's pulling you away from your friends and refusing to hang out with us. He's isolating you! I'm – "

"He's doing no such thing," Bella countered. "He encourages me to hang out with you guys and – "

"And then he calls half a day in and tries to lure you away!"

"So it's not ok when Edward interrupts girl time but it's fine when Jasper does it?" she demanded.

"Jasper doesn't do that! Jasper will hang out with both of us!"

"I don't like hanging out with Jasper, and I think you know that."

"That's total bullshit, Bella. You hang out with him all the time."

"Not by choice, Alice. Not by choice! He's horrible to me. He's a total fucking douche to me almost all the time, and I know you've seen it. But you don't mind when J just shows up and interrupts our time together, never mind the fact that I always leave as soon as he gets here."

"I always try to get you to stay."

"But you never try to make him leave!"

"He's one of your best friends, Bella."

"He used to be one of my best friends. I don't know what the hell he is anymore. I don't know if he's anything anymore. But you don't want to talk about that."

"It's not my place to talk about it!"

"You are supposed to be my best friend!"

"I know I am!" Alice exploded. "But that didn't stop you from making out with my boyfriend, did it?"

She blanched. "What?"

"God, Bella, Jasper told me everything! He told me he tried to apologize to you and that you got the wrong idea and I just…I know you've had a thing for him and everything, but I just thought you'd grow out of it and realize how ridiculous it was. I forgave you for it! I know you wouldn't do it to hurt me, and I know you've been confused and upset and clinging to Jasper because you're scared of how you feel about Edward. I forgave you for kissing him. I was going to let it go. And now you're going to stand there and get up on a fucking soap box and lecture me about friendship? Get off your fucking high horse!"

Bella just stared at her, unable to comprehend the words that were coming out of her friends mouth. "You knew?" she whispered. "You knew how I felt?"

"I'm not blind," Alice scoffed.

"Yes you are," Bella replied, immediately turning to gather her things.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," she said, ripping the CD out of Alice's player and stuffing it and her book in her bag.

"Give me a break, Bella. I told you I forgave you and – "

"I don't forgive you," she said simply, sliding into her moccasins and stalking out the door. She dialed Edward's number as she walked.

"Don't be such a baby. Come back. We'll talk about it!"

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"Come get me," she said simply.

"I'm on my way," he replied, and she heard the Volvo accelerating as he spoke.

She continued to ignore Alice as she stormed out the door, pulling the flannel more tightly around her as she walked.

"You are such a bitch," Alice screeched, halting her in her tracks.

"This is all I'm going to say to you," Bella said, turning slowly to face the second best friend she'd lost in her life. "I've felt horribly about what went down with Jasper since it happened…so badly that I told Edward about it the next day. I would give anything to go back in time and erase it. I'm sorry that it happened, Alice. So sorry. And I should have told you. I would have, if I thought it would have done any good. But you never believe me.

"When it comes between Jasper and I, you're team J all the way. And that's fine. But the fact that you didn't even stop to consider his story? That you didn't even think about how strange it would be for Jasper to be coming to my house to apologize? That you didn't think it was weird that I miraculously forced myself on him when he's twice my size?"

Bella sucked in a huge breath in preparation to continue her ranting, but Edward chose that exact, opportune moment to pull up. Without another word, she stormed over to his car, getting in and slamming the door behind her. As he reversed, she didn't even bother to look up at Alice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, reaching for her hand.

"In a minute," she said, biting down on her lip hard and fighting to fend off the pending onslaught of tears.

"My house or Lake Crescent?"

"Your house."

They drove in silence, Edward speeding worse than was normal even for him, and they arrived at his house in record time. She climbed slowly from the car, and he was by her side in seconds, slipping an arm around her waist and guiding her to the door.

"My parents aren't home," he said. "Do you want to maybe sit in the kitchen?"

"Your room," she said, and he immediately headed for the stairs.

As soon as they reached his door, she slid away from him, walking quickly to his bed and burrowing her way under the covers. He was at her side in an instant. Sliding in next to her and cradling her to his chest.

"What happened?"

"She knew. She knew all along."

"I know," he soothed.

"You knew?"

"I figured that she knew. She had to know."

"Then how could she do it?" Bella sobbed, her tears breaking through at last. "Why would she date him if she knew how I felt? Why would she be so incredibly affectionate around him if she knew what it was doing to me?"

"Because she's selfish and she thinks she knows best."

She opened her mouth to defend Alice, but no words came to her.

"I'm so sorry," he said, kissing her forehead gently and tightening his grip.

"He lied to her, just like we said he would. He told her he came to apologize and that I put the moves on him."

Edward snorted.

"I know, right?" she sniffled. "Apparently she's gullible in addition to being a selfish know-it-all."

"How did this even start?"

"She was trying to say that I was picking you over her, and I pointed out that she has no problem picking Jasper over me."

"It's my fault," he sighed. "It's easier to see what's going on from the outside, and I was worried about you. You deserve better friends than that, Bella."

"I still kissed him back, though. I still did it, even though he was her boyfriend. I'm still a bitch in this whole thing."

"True," he acknowledged.

"Then why do I feel so justified in my anger?"

"Because you are justified in your anger. No one is going to be completely right or completely wrong here. You all contributed. You all kept your secrets."

"So how do I fix it? How do we undo what we did?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I don't think you can."

"I'm so angry at them both. But mostly at Alice, and I shouldn't be – when Jasper wanted her I did my best to block it, to keep it from happening."

"But you did it because you were young and scared. Alice has continued doing this for years. She thinks she knows better. She thinks she knows how it should all turn out and that those imaginary ends justify the means she's used. It's why she's been so incredibly stoked about you and me…about us."

"Ok Dr. Phil…"

"If you're going to mock me, I'm not going to help you," he warned, though a smile tugged at his lips.

"Defense-mechanism. Sorry."

"I know."

"Part of me feels like I should just tell them both everything and be done with them. To tell Jasper he broke my heart and Alice that she stomped on the remains with her heels."

Edward didn't say anything for a long minute. "What would happen though, Bella? What would happen if Jasper told you how wrong he was, that he liked you too? What would happen if he came clean about what everyone else suspects?"

"Nothing," she said too quickly, earning her a set of incredulously raised eyebrows. "I mean, I don't know. I'd maybe feel vindicated. I'd maybe be able to forgive how he acted for so long…to some extent. But I don't…I don't think it would change anything. Too much has happened. He was too big of an ass."

"You're sure you don't want him?

Bella heard the insecurity in his voice, that tiny thread of fear that wove through his rational, level-headed advice. "I want him less and less every day," she said, burrowing her face into his shoulder. "And I want you more and more."

"I'm sorry for being jealous," he whispered into her hair.

"If I could go back in time and just erase how I felt about Jasper, I'd do it. I'd have waited around for this," she said, her hand clutching at him.

"So, I was thinking that we should do something next weekend," he said after a pause, his voice deliberately upbeat.

"Well, I'm apparently not going to have any other plans. What'd you have in mind?"

"Well…"

"Edward Cullen," she said, horrified. "There's a dance next weekend!"

"Yes. There is."

"I don't dance."

"Oh thank God," he exhaled. "I was afraid you'd want to go."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"I've seen the pictures in your living room," he pointed out.

"Alice always makes me go, but that's not going to be an issue this time." She rolled her eyes, but the words still sent a tiny dagger of pain through her middle.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to have a day trip. Seattle, or Portland maybe?"

"Portland," she said immediately, surprising herself.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, blushing. The thought of three hours in the car with Edward was incredibly appealing, as was the idea of getting as far away from Forks as possible. "I could use a trip to Powell's."

"Seattle has Elliott Bay Books," he pointed out. "Right by the Market, too. And there's Red Robin and freckled lemonade and saltwater taffy – "

"If you wanted to go to Seattle why did you even ask?" she laughed, punching his arm playfully.

"I just wanted to make sure you'd considered all of your options."

"I'll make you a deal," she said. "We can go to Seattle next weekend if we go to Portland the week after."

"Deal."

"Why'd you want to go to Seattle."

He shifted a little awkwardly and blushed. "Ok, so my dad's roadster needs to go into the shop. If we go, I get to drive it over."

"How will we get around?"

"Umm…they'll provide a driver," he mumbled

She raised an eyebrow. "You're serious, aren't you."

"He can just drop us off down by Pioneer Square. That's where we'll be hanging out anyway," he said defensively.

"I've never been in a car with a driver."

"What are you talking about? I hardly ever see you drive anywhere."

"That's not the same!"

"Is."

"Isn't!"

"Is."

"I hate you."

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don't."

Bella was about to protest again before she rolled her eyes and leaned back against the pillows in a huff. "Nice job with the distracting," she grumbled.

"I thought so."

"Now I'm thinking about it again. I'm sick of thinking about it."

"Time for Plan A."

"Plan A?" she asked.

"Plan B was the talking. Plan A is the kissing."

"Shouldn't those be reversed?" she asked with a smile.

"Kissing should never be Plan B," he said, sliding his hands up her neck into her hair and leaning in.

There was no time for witty comebacks. His lips pressed firmly against hers, and, as always, she found herself melting into him. She kissed him back, toying with the ends of his thick hair and readying herself for the same sort of gentle make-out sessions he seemed so fond of. She was surprised when his hands slid down her back, stopping at her waist to pull her tightly against him. His leg hooked around one of hers, tangling them together as one hand slid to the skin of her stomach, sliding slowly up her shirt and stopping just below the underwire of her bra.

Bella gasped into his mouth, moving her hands to his back so that she could press herself even closer to him. Goosebumps spread over her skin and a low moan escaped her when his hand slid further up and cupped her breast as he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. Her fingers dug into his back as his mouth trailed across her jaw and to her neck. Every part of her seemed to light up when he touched it. He moved so that he was on top of her, and she arched upward, still needing the feel of their bodies tangled together.

Edward's hands were just beginning to tug at the hem of her shirt when Bella got the prickly feeling at the back of her neck that meant someone was watching them, and she pushed him off of her in horror. He hit the floor hard just as an amused voice spoke from the doorway.

"Well, now we know why the door was shut."