Marco ran after him, dashing out of the restaurant, he had to make sure his new friend was okay. He finally found Feliciano by the bushes at the corner outside the hotel, dry heaving from how stressed and how shocked he was. He couldn't do anything other than tremble. Marco slowly walked up to him, called his name softly, and placed a gentle hand on Feliciano's shoulder.

"Hey…come on…let's go back to our rooms….take a shower…watch some tv…do something to get your mind off of this…okay?" he smiled kindly, his voice and words as smooth and as soothing as honey is to a sore throat. Feliciano slowly looked back, and up at him. His eyes were red, and had tears streaming down his cheeks, which had bright red blotches all over them from his stomach forcing the little bile he had in his stomach up and out.

Marco held his hand out to Feliciano, and nervously, Feliciano took it. He placed his trembling hand in Marco's warm, strong one, and the two walked back into the hotel. Without either of them knowing, Ludwig was standing outside of the restaurant, waiting to see if he could find Feliciano, help him…but…no…It seemed that Marco had that under control. He sighed, blushing from embarrassment from his outburst of a confession. But when he saw the two men, the one he loved, and Feli's new friend, walk away back into the hotel, hand in hand…his heart broke…and he paled. In the span of four minutes, his world had come crumbling down around his feet, and he was falling fast and hard. He wanted to run to him…to call out to him…do something to gain his best friend's attention…to try to clear everything up with him. Make him realize that his confession was real…But he felt deep in his gut that Feli wouldn't believe him no matter what he did.

When Marco and Feliciano entered the hotel, Ludwig went back into the restaurant with his brother, and finished eating, though he didn't really have the appetite. He got many looks of sympathy, and he smiled kindly at the people who were feeling sorry for him. He barely ate his food…but later that night, Ludwig went over to the bar with Gilbert, and began drinking away his sorrows. He always felt better after a beer…or two…or three….but this time...this time was different. He didn't need to feel better…he needed to feel invincible. He needed to feel as if his world was patched back up, and that everything that happen, didn't happen.

The night wore on and on for both Ludwig and Feliciano. Both doing their own separate thing.

Feliciano:

He walked to his room, Marco following to make sure he would be okay, and in case he got sick again. He sat down on the couch in Feli's hotel room, and laid back, sighing as it had been a long day for him as well. He stripped into his boxers, not really caring who saw. Marco didn't seem like the type of person to make fun of fat people, so he didn't really care. He folded his suit nicely on the bed, and Marco turned over to look at him. His eyes widened in …in some emotion that was very unreadable.

He thinks you're fat.

He thinks you're ugly.

He's staring because you're so hideous.

He hates you now.

Who could even want to be friends with someone like you?

Who looks like you?

Who acts like you?

Someone who gets so nervous they get sick?

Someone who cries at the drop of a hat?

Someone as pathetic…

Stupid…

Ugly.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

Feliciano did his best not to cry. He was a crybaby as the voice told him, he couldn't do that anymore…he had to be strong…no one likes a cry baby…they like people who don't show when they're sad…he's supposed to be the always happy Feliciano…right? He'd be that again…he wouldn't let this get in the way of his life. He wouldn't let the world know how horribly miserable he was…he wouldn't let anyone find out how tragic his life was …has been his whole life….He took a deep breath, grabbed a towel and walked into the bathroom. He smiled when he entered the shower. He had the water a little too hot, but he didn't care. He liked it that way. He liked how the water made it feel like his skin was being seared off. He didn't really enjoy the pain…but he liked what it meant. He was repenting for his "sin" of being fat; and that as his skin felt like it was being burned away…he would have another clean, pure layer underneath…a new skin…almost like a baby…it was a sign of new beginnings to him.

Feliciano washed himself, and stepped out of the shower when he was all rinsed off. He wrapped himself in a towel, and with shaky legs and a dizzy head, left the bathroom when he was dried off. He walked into the main room, and saw Marco sitting, waiting for him. The man stood up, tall in comparison to Feliciano. He rested his hands on his shoulders, and stared him in the eyes.

"…are you okay?" he asked in a serious tone, eyes swimming with concern for the other. Feli just cocked his head to the side, giving him a look of confusion.

"Huh? What are you talking about? " he asked, then a lightbulb flashed in his mind.

"Oh! From earlier. Si! The shower really, really helped. " he smiled at him, feeling very refreshed. It was a new day for him, and he was so happy to feel a little free again, but with Marco staring him down…he couldn't shake that his feeling would soon be gone.

"What is it?" Feliciano asked in a nervous voice. Was he really as hideous as his voice told him he was? Was he really that grotesque, and fat? Probably….

"You look like you've just come out of a volcano, Feliciano…" he explained, taking his hands off the other, revealing white hand prints on his bright red skin. That was just how hot the temperature was when he was showering. Feli winced, finally feeling the burn.

Marco sighed, and led Feli over to the bed so he could sit down.

"Feliciano…I think you're a little too sick right now…you really should go to bed…I'm worried…" he said with a warm smile, soothing and comforting. Feli nodded, and stood up, walking to his closet to find some night wear to put on so he could sleep clothes. He unwrapped the towel around his waist, his hip bones sticking out, as well as showing off a growing gap between his legs. Marco didn't want to say anything. He had just met the man…for all he knew, he could naturally be this thin..but he doubted that, he'd still hold off on commenting on his body yet…not until he had some evidence, or proof that something was wrong with Feliciano.

Feliciano felt so dizzy when he bent over to get his pajamas out of his suit case, and quickly stood back up when he felt like he'd pass out, but standing up wasn't too good of an idea. His knees shook, and his vision went black, and he fell back, Marco catching him quickly before he hit the floor. Feliciano was still conscious…but he couldn't hear him calling his name…the ringing in his ear was just too loud. He blinked, vision coming back slowly, and he tilted his head to where a sudden gust of wind came from. He saw the door open, and the blurry outline of a man standing there before the two of them.

Ludwig:

Ludwig grumbled, and mumbled under his breath after his third beer. He wasn't even saying sentences, just random words that expressed how he was feeling…or at least it was him trying to express how he was feeling…and he was failing. Even his Prussian brother sitting next to him had no clue what he was saying. He was at a loss for words…mainly because he was getting drunk too…though not s much as Ludwig was. He knew that he'd need to keep an eye on his little brother to make sure he didn't hurt himself somehow, or get into a bar fight, or something to that degree.

Gilbert watched and listened to his brother ramble on, until finally he heard a comprehendible sentence.

"I want Feli…" he whimpered in a sad, slurred voice. His bottom lip trembled, and his eyes began to water. Wow…was he always this big of an emotional drunk? Gilbert thought to himself, laughing a bit, as he patted Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig leaned onto his brother, and took another sip, spilling some of the beer onto Gilbert and himself. He froze.

"S-sorry, Sorry! Gil…I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" he panicked, and handed napkin after napkin to his brother. Gil just rolled his eyes.

"Not so awesome, Bruder." He laughed. He knew that if he got mad at the other, or showed any sign of being ticked off at his accident, Ludwig would surely be even more sad than he already was. Ludwig smiled a bit, and chuckled, sitting up as he gulped down his fourth, then fifth beer. He was getting a little bit more than tipsy now.

After three more beers, Ludwig carefully got to his feet, and loosened his tie, and the collar of his shirt, unbuttoning it a bit. He felt warm, and a little claustrophobic in his clothes.

"Bruder…I'm going to bed…I'll see you up in the room." He said, smiling handsomely at him, making Gilbert blush a little, just chuckling a bit at how cute he thought his brother was. He'd grown up to be very handsome. Gilbert made sure Ludwig got out of the restaurant okay, and went back to the bar to hit on everyone who sat down, and later called for Antonio, and Francis to come down and join him; which they did.

Ludwig had frowned once he got out of the building, and walked along the side walk to the hotel's main entrance. He was frowning because he felt guilty for lying to Gilbert. He wasn't going to their room, but instead was leaving to go find Feliciano. He could guess which room he'd be in, because Feliciano had a favorite, as well as lucky number he always used.: 1806. He didn't understand why the number was so significant…but Feliciano used it for everything…it was how he usually found Feliciano at hotels. First floor…room 806. He nodded to himself, and walked down the halls of the first floor, trying his best not to walk face first into the walls, and he was doing pretty good at it too. He managed to find the room, and saw that the door was unlocked. He sighed, rolling his eyes. He walked towards it, and heard some noises…grunts of sorts.

"C-come on Feli…work with me…it's okay…I know it hurts…you can handle it…" came Marco's voice. Ludwig's face turned bright red in embarrassment at what he was hearing, and then even brighter red in anger, and jealousy. He slammed the door open, and saw the scene going on. Feliciano was underneath Marco on the bed, Marco holding Feli down…though for once…it really wasn't what it looked like. Feliciano's eyes were fluttering open and shut, eyes rolling around.

Ludwig growled, and ran at Marco, not knowing that he had actually just tripped and landed on top of Feli while he was trying to help Feli onto the bed so he could be comfortable, and looked after..but no…this was a bad position to be in…and Marco realized that when he saw Ludwig charge him. Ludwig knocked Marco off of Feli, and pushed him against the wall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He spat, furious, ready to punch the other man in the face.

"Wait! Wait! Please, let me explain to you wh-what happened! Please! I beg you! I have cousins in Dresden!" he said, trying to find some familiar ground with Ludwig in vane attempts to get him to calm down, and think of him differently. Ludwig let go a little…not that he wanted to…he was just too weak and dizzy at the moment to pin him against the wall any longer. He sighed.

"Explain." He hissed, the smell of beer wafting over to Marco. Marco gagged, he was more of a wine man…and didn't care for beer in the slightest. Before Marco could begin to say what happened, Feliciano stirred in the bed.

"….Ludwig…" he said in a soft voice, curling up into a ball. He had fallen asleep. He was tired, and was finally getting the rest he needed and deserved. He smiled in his sleep, hugging a long, fluffy pillow against him. Ludwig gave a soft smile at him, blushing deeply at him. It was things like this that convinced Ludwig that Feli really did love him back…even if the other refused to admit it.

"Please…nothing happened…when Feliciano wakes up…you can ask him…now...it sounds like he wants you…you should be with him…I can tell…he likes you…he probably has for a long time now, or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did…" he smiled warmly, trying to comfort the other, as well as try to make Ludwig ease his grip on his shirt.

"This is Gucci…please let go…." He begged, and Ludwig finally obliged after a minute or two. It took him a while to have the words process in his head of what Marco was asking of him, when he understood, he let the other go.

"Leave…and let me and Feliciano be alone…I'll look after him…Danke for taking care of him…if that's what you were doing…if you weren't…consider yourself dead for touching him with any malicious intention. " he growled fiercely. Marco gulped, and nodded. He had nothing to worry about because he hadn't done anything…but that didn't stop him from being greatly intimidated by Ludwig none the less.

Marco left the room, making sure that Feli was okay, and before he left, he quickly wrote down his number, and handed it to Ludwig. "If you need me, or he needs me…just give me a call, and I'll be right over…" he said seriously, and left, leaving Feliciano and Ludwig alone together. Feli was shivering naked on the bed, the only warmth he got was from his pillow, which provided little to no heat. Ludwig smiled at him, and brought a robe over to him, wrapping his body up in it, and then laid the blankets down on him, till he saw Feliciano stop shivering. He smiled, and took his shoes off, as well as his suit, until he was just in a teeshirt, boxers, and socks. He crawled into bed with Feliciano…too drunk to really realize that it was probably a bad idea…and how Feliciano would probably flip out when he woke up the next morning…but Ludwig wasn't thinking like that. He was only thinking about how tired he was…how sleepy, and how cute Feli was …as well as how cold his friend looked, and how he automatically felt the need to keep the other warm.

He wrapped his arms around Feliciano's body, and cuddled under the blankets, holding Feli close like they used to do…before all of this mess happened when Ludwig had gone too far…he really had no self control…he was working on it though…to be a better man for Feliciano…to try to impress Feliciano…just as Feli was always trying to impress Ludwig…though Ludwig didn't do it to the same degree Feliciano did it.

Feli turned around in Ludwig's arms, and faced him, nuzzling his face into Ludwig's chest, smiling against him. He felt warm, and at peace, as well as safe and protected. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around Ludwig as well. He loved how Ludwig felt against him…though, he really didn't know it was Ludwig…he was dreaming again…in a world of his own. He weakly pulled Ludwig closer to him, and snuggled with him.

He was begging for more warmth, intertwining their legs together, cuddling into Ludwig's body. He grinned softly in his sleep, and drifted off even deeper, not thinking about anything other than about how peaceful he was feeling. For the first time in a long time, Feli was at peace. He loved how blissful it felt…to be with the one he loved …even if it was only a dream…(or what he thought was only a dream.)

Ludwig kissed the top of his head. "Ich liebe dich, meine liebe…." He sighed out, and held him just a little tighter, till he himself fell asleep.

The two stayed that way till morning, curled up in each other, holding one another close, basking in each other's heat. Feliciano was the first to wake up, and saw that he was tangled up in Ludwig's grasp. He panicked, trying to squirm out of it, freaking out. He began pushing against Ludwig's chest, trying to wake him, but he was too hung over from last night to be bothered to wake up, despite Feliciano's desperate attempts to wake the other. Ludwig just kept holding on, and cuddled into him even closer, like quicksand…the harder you struggle, the faster you sink.

Feliciano ended up giving up, and just began shaking in fear. Tears fell down his eyes, and rolled down his cheeks. He hated how he was feeling now…the happiness was all gone. The real world was back…the pain…the self hate. He looked down at himself. Ludwig could barely fit his arms around him…he was that fat…The only parts of their bodies that were his large stomach that had huge rolls. He felt so sad…so ashamed. And to top it off, he was naked…everything was showing…all of his fat…his stretch marks…his cellulite…everything…he sobbed softly, but remembered that Ludwig didn't like cry babies, so he managed to shut himself up.

Be strong, Feliciano…

Be brave ,Feliciano…

Ludwig doesn't like it when you act like this…

No one likes it when you act like this…

You're such a baby…

You're so pathetic…

There's nothing good about you Feliciano…

Feli gulped, and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, trying to relax. It was easier than he imagined. He always felt comfortable and safe in Ludwig's arms, and this was no exception. As terrible as he felt….he felt calm and at ease now that he had assessed the situation around him. He felt at peace…at ease. He sighed, and curled up more into Ludwig, who chose then of all times to wake up.

"Guten morgen…Feliciano…" he yawned out softly, and with an absent mind, kissed his forehead, causing Feliciano to blush. He didn't pull away…he didn't want to upset Ludwig…and he didn't want to restrict himself of the comfort Ludwig was giving him…though lately it had been Ludwig who had been causing him the discomfort. He didn't care though…forgive and forget….

"Bongiorno…Ludwig…" he said back, not caring about anything right now…if Ludwig would tease him later on…he didn't care…if Ludwig was doing this to hurt him somehow…he didn't care…he'd been through worse than some bullying…he could tolerate it…he just wanted to feel those moments of bliss again.

He tightened the hug for a moment, before letting Feliciano completely go as he got up…leaving Feliciano alone and cold. The Italian reached out and grabbed Ludwig's hand, begging him not to go.

"T-too cold…l-lay with me…please…" he begged.

"But, Feliciano…we've got to get going…we'll be late for the meeting…we've over slept…" he explained, shaking his head sadly. He wanted nothing more than to lay with the other. He felt so happy when he was holding Feliciano close…happy to protect him…happy to keep him safe…he felt like it was more than just his job to do so…it wasn't an obligation…it was what he wanted to do…keeping the one he loved happy and safe meant the world to him.

"…oh…yeah…" he sighed softly, and got out of the bed, shivering. Ludwig wrapped a blanket around him so he was warm.

"Better?" he asked, and Feliciano nodded, smiling at Ludwig.

"Si…Grazie, Ludwig…" he said, before asking a question. "What are you doing here….I mean..like…why are you here? With me? Why aren't you out with some pretty girl…or…or with a friend, or Gil…or …just why me?" he asked, so confused, and was needing an answer.

"Feli…I'm not with anyone else, because I don't love, or want anyone else…my confession last night…it was real…it was honest…and I meant it…I love you, Feliciano…you have no clue how hard that is for me to say…it makes my heart race…and it's just…so very complicated…and I don't understand it…but I do understand that I love you…and that I long to be with you…and only you…who needs anyone else when I've got you?" he asked, grinning sweetly, and pulled him into a hug. Feliciano sighed, and hugged back…well, not really hugged…just kinda leaned back against him instead.

"…oh, Ludwig…" he smiled, feeling so happy with his word…but he still didn't believe what Ludwig was saying…though…it was so nice to pretend that his words were real…

"Ludwig…I…I don't know what to say…" he whispered softly.

"Say…say that you love me back…that you'll be with me…say that you want me as badly as I want you…" he said, blushing so much he looked like he had a bad fever.

"Oh….L-Ludwig…I…I wish I could…" he whimpered, feeling sad again. He pushed Ludwig away, and walked to his suit case to get dressed. He wore another black suit, and put it on, leaving Ludwig in silence.

"What do you mean 'I wish I could.'…Feli…you can…please…you can…why don't you want to…do…do you honestly not feel the same way as I feel for you?" he asked.

"Non…Ludwig…that's not it…it's just…I can't …I can't trust that you really love me…your words…they're the sweetest most beautiful things that have ever been said to me…but…I don't believe them." He said softly, tying his shoes.

"How could someone as perfect as you…ever…ever fall for someone like me…" he asked, and walked to the door.

"…I'll see you at the meeting…and when I see you there…we'll pretend like none of this ever happened…" he said, and turned to face Ludwig briefly. He refused to cry. He refused to show weakness…to show any sign of pain…He'd be strong from this day forth.