Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters etc, and I wish SM didn't own them either.
Chapter Twenty – She Improves
"Fork over the popcorn, woman."
"You've already eaten more than your share!"
"Don't care."
"We know you don't. But we do!"
"You can either hand it to me or I'll take it by force."
"Emmett Cullen! If you touch another kernel of freaking popcorn I will tell everyone at school about that time in second gra – "
"Jesus! Fine. You win. But I'm hungry."
"Go make your own," Bella advised.
"I'll make some more," Angela chimed in, getting up and pausing the movie. "We both know you're going to break down and let him eat the rest soon."
"It's because she loves me so much," Emmett smirked.
"It's because you're a toddler and you're going to nag me until I give in."
"Nope. It's what I said."
"I can't wait for Rosalie to get back from California."
"Ditto, my friend."
"Then you can go back to bugging her."
"Admit it. You'll miss me next year."
"I'm just disappointed you picked Tennessee and not, say, somewhere in Maine."
"There's no football in Maine, dummy."
"Bet there is."
"Bet there isn't."
"There's football everywhere. Well, not in Europe."
"Which is why I didn't apply to Oxford, Bella."
"Are you two going to argue or are we going to finish watching the movie?" Angela asked, walking to take the half empty popcorn from Bella to give it to Emmett before sitting down with the new bag.
"I want the new one."
"Emmett," Angela warned, picking up the remote and hitting play. "Quit being a two year old. I'd like to finish this movie sometime before the weekend ends."
Emmett stuck his tongue out at her and Bella rolled her eyes at him, settling back into the couch and reaching for the fresh out of the microwave goodness Angela was holding out to her. The sense of peace she felt sitting and laughing with her friends was still new to her, even after two months. Becoming friends with Angela was something she couldn't believe she hadn't done sooner. It had started not long after she'd given Edward Mrs. Weber's number. Angela had come to see her in the library at lunch, thanking Bella profusely for sending Esme to her mother. And it had all sort of clicked into place from there.
The stranger story was Emmett's. He'd started visiting with her and Angela at lunchtimes, often with Rosalie. At first, Bella had been nervous – she felt like she was being spied on – but the more they hung around the more she realized how paranoid she'd become. Emmett had finally come clean and told her that hanging out with her during her entire relationshipal disaster had made him realize exactly how much he'd missed her, so he'd prepared for battle with Rosalie – a battle which, strangely enough, had never come to pass.
It was hard to think about how badly she'd misjudged everyone. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward…even Alice. But the lessons had been valuable, and recognizing the truth about who was her friend and who wasn't was very freeing. It was easier to hold her head high and make it through the day knowing that she cared so much less what people thought of her. And, because she did still care at least a little, it was easier knowing that there were people who cared about her.
"Crap," Angela moaned, looking down at her phone.
"Who's interrupting the damn movie now, Weber?"
"Can it, Emmett. I've gotta run."
"No you don't," Bella argued. "Come on. The movie's almost over!"
"Sorry, guys, but I really do have to go."
"Go where?"
"Um…a favor for my mom."
Bella's heart skipped a little in her chest, but she played it as smoothly as she could. "Oh? What?" Angela raised an eyebrow – apparently it wasn't smoothly enough. "You don't have to tip-toe around me. I'm fine."
"She needs me to pick her up from the Cullen's house. She and Esme just got back from the tulip expo."
"All right. Tell Esme I said hello?"
"Will do."
"Tell Mrs. Cullen I say hi, too!"
"You've never even met her," Angela pointed out, her eyes narrowing as she considered Emmett.
"I've seen her. That's enough for me to want to say hello."
"Ugh, Emmett. Gross!"
"What?" he demanded. "Mrs. Cullen is hot."
"She's a mom!" Angela pointed out, scandalized.
"Not my mom," he said innocently, reaching for the last handful of popcorn.
"Ugh," both girls moaned.
"Prudes."
"Perv."
"I have to go before my naïve little ears are further traumatized," Angela said. "I'll see you in English tomorrow, Bella."
"What? No hug goodbye, Angy-poo?"
"Pick on me again and I'm texting your girlfriend," she warned.
"Why does everyone keep threatening me with Rosalie?"
"Why do you think?" Bella laughed.
"Fuck you both," he grumbled.
Angela reached down and grabbed her bag, pitching the remote at Emmett. "All right. See you guys later. I'll tell Esme you say hi. Both of you."
"Thanks," Bella smiled, waving as Angela disappeared down the hallway.
"I don't understand you," Emmett said after a long pause.
"What?"
"It's obvious you still have a thing for Cullen. Shit or get off the pot, yo."
"I already got off the pot."
"But you clearly still need to take a shit."
"That is the grossest analogy of all time, Emmett."
"I have to use simple words so your pea brain can understand them."
"Oh you suck."
"It's not my fault you're completely dense."
"It's complicated."
"It isn't."
"It is!"
"No, it isn't. You liked Jasper. Jasper was a douche. So you started to like Edward. Edward was a douche. Jasper liked you back and was still a douche. Edward liked you and was an apologetic douche. I see no complication here."
"Because you have the emotional maturity of a peanut."
"I just don't see why you're going to let go of someone you are obviously into and who is even more obviously into you."
"Because I still like Jasper, Em. I don't want to. Hell, I kind of hate him, too. But…the feelings are still there. I care about Edward. I care about him a lot. It's better for both of us this way."
"I think he'd agree with me. You're a dork."
"I know I am. And I know he would. But that doesn't make me less right."
"Whatever you say, kiddo. I still think you should just take a big dump."
"Oh my God, get out," Bella laughed. "You're making me want to puke."
"While normally I would ignore you, I really should head home, anyway. Rose'll be back from Rhode Island soon and I have to finish my Calculus II homework before then."
"You really think she's going to pick Brown?"
"I think it'd make her happy. And she'd be closer than she would be at UCLA. I hate the idea of her being so far away."
"You know," Bella began cautiously, "long distances relationships are hard and – "
"Irrelevant. She's it for me. I'm gonna marry that girl."
"I wasn't saying it for your sake," she teased. "You really think you can get a girl like Rosalie to marry you?"
Emmett just laughed, the heartiness making Bella grin up at him. "I absolutely do. I'm planning to lock that shit down as soon as possible."
"All right. Well, step one is making sure you're there when she gets home so get the hell out of here."
"I'm going," he said, rising to his feet and stretching his arms over his head before reaching down to ruffle her hair. "Be a good girl while I'm gone."
She just rolled her eyes, reaching to turn off the TV and following him down the hall to the front door. She stood under the front porch, just out of the reach of the spring drizzle, and waved as he sprinted to his jeep and backed out of the driveway. She was just about to head back inside when she saw a familiar hunter green BMW turn the corner.
Her whole body seemed to freeze as she recognized Alice behind the wheel. It was hard to resist her first instinct, but instead of bolting inside, locking the door, and hiding in her room, Bella simply crossed her arms and stood waiting on the porch.
She hadn't seen or talked to Alice since the disastrous dramatic reading. The rumors had run wild, first with a suicide attempt, then a fake suicide attempt. For a while the whispers were true, spreading the word that she'd been stalking Jasper in the days after Bella had broken up with him. Emmett had confirmed it to Bella one afternoon when they'd driven into Port Angeles to satisfy his craving for a dipped cone from Dairy Queen. While they'd been finishing their English project, Edward had told her that Alice had been leaving him constant voicemails. How she'd gotten hold of his cell phone number neither of them could figure out. As far as Bella knew, the phone calls had stopped after a week or so, and Alice still hadn't returned to school.
When the car pulled into the driveway, Bella was surprised to notice that Alice's formerly sleek bob had been hacked off into a short, pixie-like haircut. Her normally flamboyant clothing was gone, replaced by her favorite skinny jeans and an oversized white oxford – one that Bella knew to be Jasper's – swallowing her tiny frame.
"What do you want?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Alice said, her voice meek and broken. Combined with her smudged makeup and the general wildness in her eyes, the request was almost enough to make Bella feel sorry for her.
"I'm not really interested."
"Please, Bella. We used to be best friends."
"Did we? Because looking back, I don't think that's true at all."
"I loved him. I loved him and you took him from me."
"Theoretically, I could say the same to you."
"I didn't take anything that wasn't available for taking."
"You knew he liked me! You knew!"
"I didn't!" Alice protested.
"You knew. You told me you knew! And so you played us off each other so you could have your cake and eat it too."
"You don't understand."
"Oh? Then explain it to me," Bella demanded.
"You and Jasper weren't right for each other. And he was right for me and I loved him. I could have made him happy!"
"God, I don't even know where to start with that bullshit," she argued throwing her hands up into the air before fisting them into her hair. "You know, you may be right. J and I may be completely wrong for each other. But you know what else? If you'd let us figure that out on our own, I never would have begrudged you taking a chance with him. Just like I sat back and didn't say anything when you were dating him before."
"But – "
"Not that you could have ever made him fucking happy, Alice. He's been miserable. But I don't suppose you noticed that. It killed him as much as it killed me to lose our friendship. And even though he was a giant douche of his own volition, you were still the one trying to turn us on each other. Not to mention the fact that you only know what will make you happy. God, he didn't even want to go to New York. Did you know that? Did you even care about anything but having him? Did you even know him at all?"
"He never said that – "
"You never asked. Just like you just assumed that you knew what was best for me when you started pushing me toward Edward."
"But you guys were – "
"No. Just…just stop it. I can't blame you for everything, because if I'd been smarter then none of this would even have been an issue. But I still blame you, and I blame you for Edward more than anything else. Because this screwed up what could have been a really good thing for me. I'd have gotten over Jasper if you hadn't been so busy making him jealous."
"Why would I ever want to make Jasper jealous?" Alice demanded, stomping her foot in petulant annoyance.
"That's not what you were doing. You wanted him to think I'd never think about him because I had Edward. But all you did was piss him off. Didn't you realize that? If you'd just let me handle things in my own way, Jasper never would have felt the need to climb through my damn window and complicate this all to hell. We might even still be friends. But you didn't think about me or Jasper or Edward or anyone. You thought about yourself."
"I was thinking about everyone!"
"No. No, you were thinking about your perfect little plans for us. You were pigeonholing all of us into your fucking vision of our future."
"I thought I was helping," she whimpered, her brilliant blue eyes brimming with watery tears. "I just thought that…well…"
"I don't care what you think anymore, Alice. You know, I was worried about you for a bit. I still missed my friend – the girl I could just sit with for hours and never be bored. But you didn't miss me. You're only here now because you couldn't get Jasper to come back to you. It's been two months Alice – longer than that really – since you've said anything to me. Did you really expect me to just forget everything had happened? Seriously?"
"No," she whispered, tugging at the rolled up cuffs of Jasper's shirt. "I just wanted to say I was sorry."
"Fine. But that doesn't change anything."
"I know. I knew before I came here it wouldn't. I came to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?"
"My parents are sending me to Mississippi to stay with my grandparents. They think a change of scenery will be good for me."
"Mississippi?"
"I know," Alice sighed, wrinkling her nose. "I doubt they've ever even heard of spangled polka dot tulle there."
"Thank goodness for them," Bella said, almost smiling. The idea that Alice would be gone left her feeling suddenly more buoyant. Selfishly, it was good to know that she could stop waiting for some new level of crazy to explode onto the scene. And a little part of her was glad for Alice. A fresh start would be good for her – it couldn't be healthy to be as hung up on Jasper as she apparently was.
"Anyway. Like I said. I just came to say that I'm sorry and…well…have a good life."
"I will. I hope Biloxi is good for you. Really."
"Not likely," Alice mumbled. "Anyway…would you, would you give something to Jasper for me? Or to Rosalie or Emmett to give to him?"
"Absolutely not," Bella said immediately.
"I promise it's nothing bad. I just needed to apologize to him and he wouldn't see me."
"I'm sorry, Alice. Put it in the mail or something, but I can't give it to him."
"Can't or won't?"
"Both."
"Fair enough. Bye, Bella."
"Goodbye, Alice."
Alice reached for her door handle but hesitated, turning back toward the porch. After a short pause she just shook her head, opened the door, and climbed slowly inside. The engine rumbled to life, and Bella stood, arms wrapped around her midsection, and watched the green car disappear once more.
Slowly she turned and headed back inside, walking straight to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. She contemplated the contents for a long time, mulling over what had just happened and deciding what – if anything – she'd make for dinner. Her fight with Alice had been cathartic. It was the first time she'd been able to confront her former best friend since she'd found out the whole truth behind her deception, and it was freeing to finally be unburdened by anger. With a smile, she closed the fridge. She was just about to reach for the phone when the front door opened.
"Bells?"
"In the kitchen, dad," she called. "You're home earlier than I thought."
"I got bored so I left the deputies in charge."
"You mean you lost all your mini candy bars playing hearts and so they kicked you out?"
"Dr. Cullen counts cards."
"You count cards," she said, trying not to jump at the mention of Edward's father.
"He counts them better. That's what I get for letting a doctor into the game. Here," he sighed, thrusting a familiar pale cream box tied with purple ribbon at her. "He brought these for you from Mrs. Cullen."
"Tell him thanks next time you see him," she blushed, opening the box to see an assortment of pastries and cannolis.
"You hungry?" Charlie asked, graciously avoiding her discomfort.
"Yeah. We should just order a pizza. I'm sick of fish."
Charlie burst into laughter. "Sometimes it amazes me that you're even related to me. Come on. Get your shoes. I'll take us out for once."
"Where?" she asked slowly, raising her eyebrows.
"Port Angeles. I've got a hankering for some sweet and sour pork."
"Thai Peppers has a huge menu and you want sweet and sour pork?"
"Yup. Get your shoes."
"I've got to change really quick."
"No you don't. What you're wearing is fine."
Bella glanced down at her ratty flannels and old FPD sweatshirt. "Dad, I'm wearing pajamas."
"They look good on you."
"You're so embarrassing sometimes."
"Sure, sure. Either way, you've got five minutes or I'm leaving your butt here and eating my delicious pork in peace."
Bella stuck her tongue out at him before running up the stairs. She rummaged through her closet for a clean pair of jeans and a clean hoodie, her desire for pad thai and lemongrass soup hurrying her along. She was dressed and back downstairs in record time. The entire trip to Port Angeles was filled with her giggles as Charlie recounted his day. He'd made two traffic stops involving tourists who'd been less than pleased to help fill Charlie's quota. They'd argued and threatened him with lawsuits. Then he'd gotten called back to the station because Deputy Mark had set the microwave on fire. He'd gotten back on the road just in time to bust Rosalie, who he let off with a warning because she'd sworn up a storm at him.
"It was too hard not to laugh at her getting all riled up. I figured she made me laugh enough that she can get at least one free pass," he said as they sat down at their table and immediately placed their orders.
"I hope you at least told her it was because she was friends with me."
"I'm not an idiot," he said, rolling his eyes.
"Thanks, dad. Who was the last?"
"Edward Cullen. His dad sure was steamed when I told on him, too."
"Edward?" Bella asked, her heart again jumping in her chest.
"Yeah. Speeding like a demon out toward Lake Crescent."
"Did you give him a ticket?"
"Hell yes I gave him a ticket. This isn't Daytona."
"How fast was he going?"
"Fifteen over. Again. Madder than hell when I wrote him up, too. Tried to tell me he was following the flow of traffic. Grouchy kid. Strange, with such nice parents."
"Dad."
"I'm just saying."
"Did you give him a ticket because of me?"
"No," Charlie said too quickly, refusing to meet her eyes.
"Dad!" she whined.
"What? I didn't!"
"You're such a liar!"
"He was speeding."
"So was Rosalie."
"Different."
"It so isn't! Just admit it."
"Fine. I confess. And it felt damn good to give it to him, too."
"That was completely uncool."
"I'm a dad. I'm supposed to be uncool."
"What did he say?" she demanded.
"I already told you. He tried to say he was going with the flow of traffic. I called bullcrap, wrote him the ticket, then sent him on his way."
"And headed back to the station to tattle to his dad."
"All in all a successful day," he grinned as their food was placed in front of them.
Bella tried to ignore him, focusing instead on shoveling soup and pad thai into her face. Unfortunately, Charlie kept meeting her eyes and laughing, and soon she was laughing too.
"I really wish you had just let him go. He'll think you did it because I told you to."
"Oh no he won't," Charlie said innocently.
"Dad…"
"I might have made it pretty clear that it was all me."
"Dad!"
"You can get mad all you want, but I'd do it again in a second. If it'd been the Hale kid, I'd have arrested him."
"Oh God," she murmured over and over again. "I would like to again state that you can be beyond embarrassing sometimes."
"And I'd like to point out that you've never said anything nicer to me," he said as he slid several bills into the black folder with the bill. "Come on. I'll buy you an ice cream."
"Ice cream doesn't make up for anything, you know."
"Who's the liar now? I'll buy you a butterscotch cone."
Two delicious desserts, an hour and a half long car ride, and a hundred pages of English reading later, Bella was back at home, curled up in bed with the brown leather journal she'd purchased right after Edward told her how he felt. It was helpful to have an outlet, a place to vent her rage and cleanse her temper at the end of the day. When she'd finished writing about her encounter with Alice, she flipped off the lamp and collapsed onto her pillow.
The next morning, she woke up late and had to hurry through getting ready. She made it outside just as Rosalie and Emmett pulled into the driveway in his jeep. She climbed into the backseat as Emmett raced off to Angela's.
"How was Brown?" Bella asked.
"Amazing," Rosalie said, flipping idly through her Calculus textbook. "It was so gorgeous. And the campus was nice and the people weren't snotty like I thought they might be. Plus, they offer an Egyptology degree. How cool is that?"
"Since when are you into pyramids?" Emmett joked.
"Since I have a brain and I can major in whatever I want."
"But – "
"I'm joking. I'm still double majoring in Environmental Studies and Engineering."
"You can change your mind. Just make sure you don't leave me out."
"Aw, Em. Of course not."
"You two are gag worthy sometimes," Bella said, sticking her finger down her throat.
"Don't hate the player, hate the game," Rosalie sing-songed.
"Not the player game stuff again," Angela said, climbing in. "Thanks for the ride guys."
"You thanks us every day, and every day I tell you it's no big deal."
"My parents raised me right."
They pulled into Rosalie's usual parking spot, and Bella climbed out of the car with Angela.
"Don't look now, but Ben Cheney's staring at you."
Angela flushed bright pink, her eyes immediately darting to where Ben stood next to his faded blue dodge neon. "Really?"
"Yup."
"Should I...I dunno…"
"Go say hi. Maybe ask him if he wants to go to Seattle with us next weekend."
"I couldn't possibly. I mean…"
"One of us needs a boyfriend," Bella said with a wink. "Seriously. Ben's been eyeing you for weeks and he's terrified of Emmett. Just go say hi."
"Ok. Ok, I'll do it!"
Angela hurried off, and Bella walked toward their English building. She saw Jasper, brooding next to his motorcycle with Tyler Crowley and a senior, Marcus Wood. She smiled tentatively at him, and was relieved when he grinned back. She and Jasper had avoided each other since she'd broken things off with him, and the time apart had been good for them just as she'd hoped. They weren't friends, but the open hostility had ended, and she could sit next to him without turning into a miserable, quivering wreck.
She ignored the whispers of Lauren and Eric as she walked past, instead smiling at Jessica who stood huddled under her umbrella and flipping through her Biology lab book. Jessica gave a little wave as Bella disappeared around the corner and walked through the door to English.
Edward was already sitting at his desk, his nose buried in a Lord of the Rings book. He jumped when she walked past him.
"Hey, Bella."
"Hey, nerd," she said, watching him blush as he shoved the book into his bag.
"Good weekend?"
"Yeah. You?"
"It was good. I went to the Lake and did the falls hike."
"I told you it was awesome."
"I took some cool pictures."
"It's hard not to up there." She wanted desperately to ask to see his pictures – to talk more about his hike – but she remembered her promise to herself to be strong. She'd told him she didn't think they could be friends, and she stood by that. They couldn't be just friends, but they couldn't be more yet either.
"Yeah."
"Well, tell your mom thanks for the cannolis."
"I will."
"Thanks," she said, sliding into her seat and wondering if she should have apologized for his speeding ticket. She decided against it – she didn't want to know she'd been talking about him to Charlie.
Sitting alone in the room with him, she was more aware than ever of the level of tension between them –a tension that she knew she could solve just by touching him. Still, she stayed strong. As much as she wanted Edward, she knew that her decision to take some time was good for both of them. It still wouldn't be fair to jump into things with him, and she liked to think she was making herself more worthy of the feelings he'd confessed but she still didn't quite understand.
The more time she spent just hanging out with friends, the more she realized how good her decision had been. It would have been easy – it would still be easy – to just jump back into things with Edward. But it wouldn't have fixed anything. She'd have just been hiding away again.
As Angela came in with Ben, waving excitedly, Bella couldn't keep herself from grinning. Things weren't perfect, and she still had a lot of growing up to do, but she was happy. She still had to figure out things with Edward, and she still had to make things right with Jasper, but both now felt like things she could handle. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt a true sense of hope and purpose. Unfolding the note from Emmett, she chuckled and shook her head before stowing it in her notebook.
A few months ago, seeing the one word on that piece of paper would have made her shrivel up in an attempt to fade from view. Now, being called a loser just made her laugh, and, her mood brightened, she pushed her desk next to Angela to start their assignment.