I appologise HUGELY for how late I am with this, and how short it is. I wrote the whole thing, and then FORGOT TO SAVE IT.

AARGH.

And also, there are maybe another.. six chapters to go? Just a heads up for you.

But I'll make this very clear right now: you readers need to review and tell me what's good and what's not!

I have no idea what I'm doing lol! I keep making boring stuff happen because I need to fill in chapters before stuff happens, y'know?

So purdy ploise review constructively!

Hold your hand out palm side up
Open, empty, light enough
Minutes all turn to months
This is one thing we have all learned
Equations always make up a sum
But it doesn't add up

- Grace - Dear and the Headlights -

EPOV

To say that it was awkward for the next week was an understatement. Bella stayed at my place for a few days, but the air was full of tension: sexual and otherwise.

We didn't talk about the kiss, and we didn't get too close to each other. I wasn't sure if I could trust myself to be so close to her without embarrassing myself further, and by the blush that spread life wildfire across her cheeks and collarbone when I was nearby, I sensed that she felt the same way.

But on Thursday, while she was out (she had insisted on grocery shopping for me) and I was busy with my biannual kitchen clean-out and a cold, all my frustrations burst out of me at once. Not even Norah Jones' cd, drifting lazily out of the stereo, could calm me as I threw a fit to rival a two year old.

Except two year olds probably didn't know as many swear words as I did.

I kicked out angrily at the counter, and swore again, louder, as pain stabbed little, sharp fingers through my ankle. Trying not to cry like the two year old I was acting, I hobbled and stumbled my way back into bed.

Maybe if I go back to sleep, when I wake up things will be better.

But when I woke up, things were not better.

My ankle looked like a surreal, red cantaloupe, my head throbbed, my throat burned with thirst and Bella was noisily stuffing items into cupboards and drawers.

"B-B..." I tried to croak out her name, but my mouth was so dry and sticky that it got caught in my throat. Instead, I tried to stand up. Mistake. My bad leg wobbled dangerously and I collapsed to the floor with a loud thump.

"Edward?" Bella's feet could be heard on the creaky floorboards by the door, and then she was there, and her hands were on mine and her hair was brushing against my arm and her eyes were concerned.

"I..." Like a fool, I sat there, wide-eyed, and croaked out something unintelligible, fully aware that I was only in a pair of sweat pants.

Why was it that I seemed to find that moments with Bella were usually shirtless ones?

Bella's motherly instincts came into full force then, and she hurried around, making my bed and getting me a drink and offering to call a doctor or my parents. She even offered to help lift mw into bed and under the covers, which I nearly laughed at. Her arms would probably snap in two.

"I'm seriously fine," I managed to croak out. "It's just the flu and a twisted ankle."

"Well, isn't there something I can do?" She let out her breath and her shoulders drooped. She obviously wanted desperately to help.

"Just... just stay here with me."

A few minutes later, we were curled up in bed with hot chocolates (extra marshmallows) and were watching whatever was on tv. Well, she might have been. I was more conscious of the fact that we were in bed together. She was so close...

"This is just like how it used to be," she sighed happily. "Like when we were eight, and I used to come over early on Saturday morning, and your mum would make us hot chocolate, and we'd get into bed and watch cartoons. I still can't believe how tolerant your mother was," she said.

I chuckled. "I still can't believe what a memory you have."

"It's probably one of my best childhood memories," she said quietly. Her tone was unreadable, but I sensed a change in it. "In fact, all my favourite childhood moments involved you."

"Really?" I asked, my voice heavy. "Name a few."

"My sixth birthday. You ate too much watermelon and threw up all over that girl...what was her name? Victoria something? Anyway, you were really pleased with yourself, because you secretly didn't like her, and I was really pleased because I secretly didn't either."

I nearly choked on the last mouthful of my drink. "I was really hoping you'd forgotten that," I laughed.

"And when you were getting a dollar a day to look after your neighbor's bird, and I came over and we accidentally let it out. Do you remember that one? We thought we were going to be put in jail, so we packed a bag and ran away for all of... what? An hour?" She laughed, and her happiness spread through me. "Also, when we were thirteen and I was going out with that jerk Mike. And he gave a Valentine card to Jessica Stanley and not me. So you knocked out his two front teeth and gave me a bunch of flowers," she smiled, resting her head on my chest. I carefully wrapped my arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

"And... the night after my mum died. When you climbed in through my window and you didn't try and make me sleep or talk, or tell me it would be ok. You just sat with me and let me cry. I think that was my favourite moment that we've shared."

I nodded quietly. "I think it's mine too. I was scared because I didn't know what I was meant to do or say. I didn't know how to help you. But I think I realised that I didn't need to do anything. Because you were doing all you needed to do, and I was helping just by being there."

She sniffled slightly. "You helped immensely. And I'll always be grateful that I was lucky enough to have you with me."

"I'll always be with you," I mumbled. "I love you."

With a sigh, she wiped at her tears. "I love you too. And I might ruin everything by saying it, but it has to be said. I love you in every way possible. You're my friend, and you're like a brother to me. But I want you as so much more," her voice broke and she buried her face under my arm.

I held her tighter, trying not to shout in an odd combination of joy and fear. "I feel exactly the same way, Bella. I love you more than any other person on this planet, and with more passion than anything else. I would give everything, anything, to you if you asked for it. But I'm not good for you. You're perfect, and you deserve more than me."