"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must
first invent the universe."
~Carl Sagan

"You know what I would do if I were dating myself?... I'd bring myself an apple every morning and it would be adorable. Seriously. I love apples. But tomatoes are yucky. Bleh. Nasty, I tell you. It's funny how apples and tomatoes seem to be so similar, but taste-wise, they're about as different as cats and gorillaphants, y'know?"

"Calliope, exactly how much coffee did you have this morning?" Rolith asked exasperatedly, rolling his head to look over at me. I mirrored him, shooting him a million-watt grin.

"I don't usually drink coffee, you know that," I told him cheekily. I readjusted where I was sitting on the tree branch that was a foot in diameter, wiggling my butt so my back was comfortably against the tree trunk. We had been sitting on the other side of the trunk from each other for the better part of an hour now, me on the slimmer branch that I had dubbed MY Limb, Rolith on the thicker one. Granted, armor or no, he was heavier than I was, and just had more muscle and weight than I did.

"I just hope you never start," Rolith muttered under his breath. Even though he couldn't see, I stuck my tongue out at him rebelliously. In a way, bantering with the Captain made me just a bit homesick. It reminded me of the way my brother and I used to argue, and a quiet chuckle escaped me at the thought. "What's so funny?"

"Just remembering," I chirped. "Anthony and I used to bicker like… well, like siblings," I finished lamely, tucking my bangs behind my ear again. Just because they were slightly longer didn't mean they were long enough. Peeking around the tree trunk, I saw Rolith was wearing his flawless poker face.

"Like siblings?" he deadpanned, and grinning cheerfully, I nodded. "And he's your…"

"Brother, yeah."

"I thought you were smart?"

"Um, no, that's just a somewhat uncommon misconception."

Rolith rumbled his chuckle and turned his face forward again. I followed suit, and was about to close my eyes to doze a bit when a thought struck me. Uh oh. This is very, very extremely not good.

"Uh… Rolith…"

"Hmm?"

"I just had a thought…"

"I thought I smelled smoke," he responded, but for once I ignored the jibe.

"Yeah, um… how, exactly… uh, how are we going to get down?"

Judging from the dead silence from the other side of the tree trunk, my guess was that he didn't know either. Or he just chose not to think about it, like I did. Of course, the third option was that he thought I knew when I climbed up here and invited him to join me.

Well, nobody forced him to want to join me…

That one thought put a slightly warm glow in my stomach, as cliché and cheesy as that sounds. He had chosen to climb a tree just to spend time with yours truly while he had a few hours off.

"Well… you know what they say. If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something. …Wanna just cross that bridge when we come to it?"

"Mm, I'd prefer to jump off that bridge when we come to it."

Even though I couldn't technically see him at this point, I could just imagine the look he was throwing me right now. The whole 'you are brainless' look to which I would reply with a 'at least the zombies won't kill me' look. This, of course, would lead to another entire round of 'looks,' most of which would be involving some eyebrow waggling.

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Probably the wisest course of action," I agreed immediately.

"No," he concurred. "Instead, I'm just going to come to the conclusion that you're about as intelligent as a brick."

"… I resent that. Why does everybody seem determined to make me seem like I have the brains of a bag of hammers?" I pouted, bouncing my heels against the tree trunk below My Limb. I heard the slight clink of armor that signified Rolith's shrug.

"Maybe because you're blonde? I've heard a lot of horror stories, so to speak, about the torture those born blonde must suffer," he said quite seriously.

"At the moment, I'm hoping you were including yourself in that."

"Ouch. You wound me," he complained, but from the way his leg was swinging in my peripheral vision, he clearly wasn't concerned in the least.

Not that I was surprised by this. Contrary to how many people saw the typically stoic captain, he was full of jokes and teasing that rivaled those of my brother.

Unconcerned, I scraped lightly with an armor-covered finger at the rough bark beneath my hands on My Limb as we fell to silence. Silence, by itself, wasn't necessarily bad or evil. It was what the human mind concocted in that lack of conversation that could be dangerous. In my case, the almost-accident a week ago outside the stables.

Phrased like that, I guess it didn't sound all that upsetting. But I had chosen to run, when retreat was only rarely an option for me. But since I had chosen to stay at Oaklore Keep, my priorities had shifted. I was more open to tactical moves (both in battle and in everyday life) that I would never have considered otherwise.

What did that say about what I was becoming?

Exhaling a short puff of air to force my bangs out of my line of sight, I tipped my head back against the tree trunk. It wasn't wise to spend more time around the Keep—and in particular, the Captain. But somehow… I wasn't sure I could bring myself to leave. I wasn't sure I even wanted to.

What about your long-time goals? a sneaky, conniving little snarl whispered from behind my ADHD mental barrier, in the Land of Things I'd Really Rather Not Think About.

"I'll manage," I murmured in response, only realizing a heartbeat later that I'd spoken out loud. Again. "Thought I broke myself of that," I grumbled cheerfully to Rolith when he made an inquiring noise.

"You do it more often than you think you do," he admonished halfheartedly. "I don't see how you could ever get started with it."

"Just because you stoic types don't speak more than a word to yourselves, it doesn't mean the rest of us can't!"

"Temper, temper."

"I'll show you temper," I said under my breath. Shaking my head slightly, I peered up through the branches above My Limb, gauging how much weight some of them would be able to take.

I was known back home for making snap decisions that weren't exactly wise. Time and time again here, I had proven that I had a special skill for that.

"Meet you on the ground," I notified Rolith, warily rising to my feet on My Limb. My balance was good. My flexibility was far better. Wrapping my hands around a higher up branch that was about at the level of my collarbone, I hoisted myself up to sit with both legs over one side.

"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion, twisting awkwardly to try and see what I was doing.

"I mean," I grunted as I reached up for another handhold before rising to my feet again, "That I'll see you on the ground." I could almost feel his clueless glance as he gracelessly tried a controlled drop to the grass beneath this huge oak, and elaborated. "I'll likely fall at some point," I continued. "And then I'll wind up on the ground, probably on my back, and you'll come say hi."

"Or 'I told you so' might work just as well," he replied audaciously. I paused for a moment, bent over a slimmer limb that was about the diameter of my thigh.

"… I'm going to introduce you to my fist soon."

"Nah, it's not my type."

"Then how about my foot?"

"Not me. I'm a single guy," he called up from where he had successfully risen to his feet again. "What about you? Interested in either fists or feet?"

"Nope," I retorted, popping my 'P.' "I'm more for the kind of guy with longish black hair." There was a loaded pause.

"Oh really?" A bit strange, really, his tone of voice. I decided to goad him a bit further as I climbed.

"Oh yeah!" I continued, carefully placing the ball of my left foot on a thin branch that looked no thicker than my fist. Glancing down, I saw that the horses looked about as big as my thumb from up here. "And super muscular, too! Long legs, and an angled face with wide cheeks!" Daring a quick look down at Rolith, I didn't need to see his expression from the silence that radiated upwards. It appeared another hint was needed. "Kind of long in the body," I added hopefully. "Hair has to be super shiny. Really fast, too, and can carry another person easily." Still nothing. I mentally slammed my face against the tree trunk.

"In the name of all that's holy, Rolith, I'm talking about your horse!" I eventually burst out, glaring at him from my chosen perch, roughly four meters shy of the very top of the tree. With my hand at arm's length, from up here the Captain appeared to be only the size of my thumbnail.

Oh yeah. This would be a really bad place to fall from.

"Oh," I heard him say. Everything must have just become clear to him. Took him long enough, in my opinion, and I was normally the oblivious one.

"Yeah," I teased, "Oh." Looking around from my vantage point, I couldn't help but feel just a little bit homesick again. Anthony would have loved it up here. He was one of the reasons I had gotten to be as good as I was at climbing trees, and he liked being up high. I lifted my face to the sun, and a breeze that promised rain and lightning swept my bangs out of my face the way I had always been unable to. I tossed my braid back over my shoulder, wondering what it would be like to fly, when the implications of that stirring of the wind caught up to me.

"Uh oh."

"That never means anything good," Rolith commented from what must have been twenty meters below me.

"Um, it looks like we might get rain," I responded cheerfully, shifting my balance a hair forward to grin down at him. I saw him look at the sky all around us—and very obviously, might I add—and back at me.

"There's not a cloud in the sky," he stated as I cautiously tested my weight on the branch below the one I had been sitting in up until ten seconds ago.

"Trust me," I told him factually as I descended another three feet, "There will be rain. Lots of rain, and wind, and lightning, and all that happy stuff that you want to stay out of, no matter how much you like to dance in the precipitation."

"Very eloquent," Rolith approved as the balls of my feet slowly lowered down to another branch. Only 17 meters to go. "I wouldn't advise you to use big words, though—they tend to just confuse you."

"Hypocrite," I sniffed. "Anyway, my point is, I'm telling you, in the next four to twelve hours, there's gonna be a storm. A big one. We'll want everybody in the walls." All bantering aside, I knew Rolith would take things I said without hesitation seriously. Whether he acted on them was up to him, but he would take them into account. He cared what those under him thought, and did his best to placate all of them. It was just one of many things that made him a great and charismatic leader. It was getting easier to climb down, though, because the branches were getting thicker and less likely to break. Another two branches down, I turned my head over my shoulder to listen as he called up once more.

"There's a sturdy limb about a foot from your left ankle and half a meter down," he advised. Glancing down, I saw he was right. It would be the next logical place to descend to, and it saved me trouble having to twist around looking for the next handhold.

"Tha—whooah!"

Twig. Leaves. Spin off a smaller limb. More leaves. Thud.

I just lay where I was on my back for several moments, collecting my thoughts and pulling air back into my lungs. Apparently, I'd lost my grip trying to step to the branch Rolith had indicated, and had fallen the remaining few yards to the ground. I blinked several times, getting my head back into order. Those tiny little shelves and cabinets that held all the information in my brain appeared to have been knocked rather askew. A golden head of hair entered my vision, and I blinked at it curiously. I didn't remember Rolith being that tall. Why, I must have only measured up to his knee! I thought I was taller than that!

"I'd ask if you're okay, but you're looking at me like I just sprouted horns, so I'm assuming you're fine," he said with a slight wince. "Sorry bout that." His gloved right hand came into view, all fingers outstretched. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"….. Eight."

"Yeah, close enough. You're fine." With a quick grin, he extended the same hand to pull me up off my back. I gratefully accepted it, rocking slightly once I was back on my feet.

"Told—" I coughed slightly past a bit of a dry throat. Getting the wind knocked out of you tended to do that. "Told you I'd meet you on the ground."

Rolith started laughing—that deep, fuller, rumbling laughter that I swore would make an avalanche jealous. In reflex to the sound, I felt a grin starting to curve my lips, and watched as the light in his eyes shifted and changed a bit, becoming brighter and more vibrant. Not just an olive green ringed with copper, as it had been, but more of a fuzzy coffee color around the edges, blending into a mix of fern green and Kelly green. It was a lovely blend.

"You have pretty eyes," I blurted unthinkingly as I leaned over Tessa's neck. Wait, I didn't even remember mounting… oh well. It happened, and it wasn't anything particularly important. I grinned lazily at Rolith as he walked his bay up to Tessa and me. "Tess thinks so too," I added, nodding enthusiastically, "Don't we, Tess?" The dappled gray chose that moment to toss her head slightly, then turned her head over to snuffle the muzzle of Rolith's bay.

"Maybe I should lead Tessa and you should just hang on," he said in amusement. Had I been less in la-la-land, I probably would have noticed the faint veil of worry that he seemed to be hiding rather well. I nodded vigorously in response to his suggestion.

"Yup. Yup yup yup!"

"That's it, you're seeing Junn as soon as we get back," he muttered under his breath.

"I used to want bunnies for pets, yanno," I chirped rather cheerfully as I gripped the saddle horn with both hands. My head felt very fuzzy. "Then I found out most farms keep them so they can get eaten. Anthony and I didn't want bunnies after that," I stated solemnly. I never noticed the incredulous looks I was getting. "My head's all whirligigged. I don't know what it means, but it fits this situation perfectly. Yup."

The walls of the Keep came into sight around the bend from the grassy stretch by the cliff edge, and I glared at the huge gates. They seemed to have added another door while we were gone. The knights sure worked fast!

"There you are!" I said accusingly, pointing at that third door. "Where have you been hiding? Why did they only put you up now? Bad door." The whole idea of the door being ashamed of itself seemed immensely funny somehow, and I started giggling uncontrollably. I looked with interest as Rolith said something to one of the knights just inside the gates—why did they only open one of the doors?—and dismounted once they had closed behind us.

"Calliope, come on, we're gonna see Sir Junn," he said with an emotionless face, reaching up with both hands. A lopsided smile on my face, I let myself slip sideways into his waiting arms. Seemed like the practical thing to do. Chivalry wasn't dead after all! I decided to aim one last parting shot at the third door as we passed it.

"Bad door," I repeated firmly.

"Come on, come on, the door will still be there later," Rolith muttered quickly, ushering me past the doors faster than I was capable of walking right then.

"I'll have a serious talk with you later," I said with a final scowl at the third door. Then I paused. Technically, it wasn't the door's fault, right? Right. It was the knights' fault for not having put the door up sooner! Randomly, I felt remarkably similar to the time I'd gotten very, very buzzed with Andy and my friend Rachel and went cattle tipping.

"Why didn't you put that poor door up sooner?" I scolded Sir Junn as Rolith propelled me over to him. "I've been mad at that third door all this time and none of you even bothered to tell me it wasn't the door's fault!"

Sir Junn blinked twice, then looked to Rolith for an explanation while I rambled on.

"She fell out of a tree from about ten yards up, and probably hit her head on a branch on the way down. Or when she landed."

"Ah."

"… So I got mad at Andy cause I don't like people touching my stuff, and he… he touched. Then I had to go and…"

"Ten yards, you say?"

"… But they all just ignored it, and…"

"About. Starting thinking there was a third door to the Keep when we rounded the bend."

"… I mean, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't come up with a snap excuse…"

"And she's been like this the entire time?"

"… so I told Mum that Andy tied himself to the rafters…"

"She was a bit quiet for the first minute or so, completely conscious, then started babbling. Not too different from her usual self, actually, but she's focusing even worse than usual."

"… but then when we lit the match, stupid Andy dropped it on the jar ahead of time…"

"She might have a slight concussion…"

"… and BOOM. But then Mum came outside…"

"I didn't notice."

"… So after that, it was matches and torches at ten paces!" I held out one hand with all five fingers extended to show what I meant. "Yup. Ten paces. Can you believe it?" I complained as the Captain sat me down on a vacant bed none too gently.

"She'll need to stay here for at least a week," Sir Junn said finally, and that line penetrated my errant thoughts.

"Waiwaiwait, a week?! Why am I stuck in here for a week?" I demanded, trying to get back up again immediately before being pushed down by Rolith. "I need to give those building knights a talking-to! That poor door didn't do anything wrong! Actually, neither did the narwhals, but they got eaten anyway!"

Sir Junn's eyes lifted up to catch Rolith's. "Narwhals?" he asked the Captain dryly.

"No idea."

I woke up the next morning staring at a bunch of rather unfamiliar rafters. My head felt like it had been split open by an axe or something, but Mother Nature was taking mercy on me, it seemed, by preventing any sunlight streaming through the windows to worsen my headache. The rain outside would have pierced a man's shield with how hard it was coming down.

With a short huff, I used my (somewhat sore) arms to push myself up into a semi-reclining position, and looked around. Using my brilliant deduction skills that I've already proven many times, I discovered that I was lying in a bed in the infirmary. I blinked several times, then blew my bangs out of my eyes.

"After we determined that you didn't have a concussion yesterday," a familiar voice said calmly, "We allowed you to sleep. You were out like a light." I craned my head up and to the left to see Sir Junn walking towards me.

"Recap me on what happened?" I pleaded dully. "I remember I was sitting in a tree with Rolith…" Rolith and Callie, sitting in a tree! Does she like him? Yes indeed!

"From what he said, you climbed the tree, and were climbing down when you fell," he stated. "Is that all you remember?"

"Um… yep. Should I remember anything else?"

Junn's lips twisted in an amused smile. "I'll let Captain Rolith fill you in on the rest when he comes back." I nodded mechanically, before halting as I realized something.

"Wait—comes back? He was here already?"

"Yes," Junn said with a nod as he pointed at my bedside table. "He left this last time." He strode off to check on another patient, and I curiously glanced over to see what Rolith had left.

There was a shiny red apple sitting on the clean wooden surface.

Hello, freaky darlings. And yes, that is what I generally call my readers, if you haven't made that conclusion by now. :)

Can you believe that, with this chapter, we hit 100 pages on the official file on my laptop? :D I dunno about you guys, but I'm seriously thrilled by that! It means (to me, at least) that Golden Touch is growing its own little legs to stand on. I'm no longer the one in control of what happens in the story by now. That whole quote about the characters write the story, we just try to keep up? We're at that point.

And yes, I do still sit down to tea with Satan from time to time, as a writer.

I typed this entire chapter up in around two days (for which I am immensely proud). I was sorely tempted (very sorely) to have Anthony come prancing in around the time Calliope found herself at the top of the tree, but it would have opened an entirely new can of worms that I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with. Plus, Anthony would have pulled the whole "big brother" act and interrogated Rolith while Calliope wasn't around. Also, the whole, "Hi, I just stopped by for a visit!" spiel at Oaklore? Yeah. That's not gonna fly well.

But anyway. Reviews!

Luna (anon.): The whole "outsider's view" is precisely why I chose Magiya to uncover a few more facets of Calliope's personality. :) I honestly can't wait to see what you come up with! Personally, when I create characters, I find it difficult to identify facial features. :) I'm super excited to see what you think Magiya looks like.
Bahahaha! Your reaction to the ending of the last chapter just made my day! Oh my god, have I accidentally started a fandom?! I'm terrified now.
... And now my mum's giving me odd looks because I'm laughing so hard. Besides, there's no such thing as spending too much time on Tumblr... *uber long dramatic pause*

MusicalPoetess: You'll get used to it eventually, trust me. :) But don't come to expect it- that way, it's always a pleasant surprise. And I wouldn't be surprised if you two click. xD You seem to have similar personalities when it comes to your fandoms.
Hope your group trip went well! :)

Next chapter, I'm planning for things to get a little more up-and-running, as far as the actual plot is concerned. I'll let you puzzle that out.

Hope you guys liked the chapter (and congrats if you caught the reference to the apple when she wakes up at the end). :3 See you all in two weeks, assuming life doesn't strike again! Love you guys!

Juliet