"Though my soul may set in darkness
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night."
~Sarah Williams, "The Old Astronomer"

I tightened my fingers slightly on Tessa's reins, slowing her from a trot to a slow jog as I looked a little to my right to gauge the sun's descent. About four hours of good light left…

The Captain had selected me and seven other knights to accompany him the afternoon before, and we had left a little before dawn this morning with our chosen horses. Contesse had recovered only three days prior, and I had taken her out to graze each day before the overnight trip. According to Rolith, an overnight hunt typically went thusly:

The group would set out, tracking any and all bandit groups. The main force of the knights would follow behind two scouts, who would alert the main force when the bandits stopped moving and hunkered down for the night. They would sleep that evening, settling when the bandits did but about a mile away in the forest. The following morning, before the Darkwolf bandits got moving, we would attack and reduce their numbers before letting three or four of them run back home to the base. Then the knights would track them again, and tackle the base camp to drive them in all different directions and maybe catch a couple of bounties. The process was repeated about every year or so.

I half-turned to the left in my saddle, leaning slightly back to converse with Sir Valence, who had also been chosen to come with us. My assumption was that, since most of the knights from the Keep would be going on the overnight, he would be the best qualified to keep up with everyone.

"How much longer do you think they'll keep going?" I questioned, jerking my chin to indicate the group currently traveling about two miles ahead of us.

He shook his head. "Your guess is as good as mine. It could be thirty minutes; it could be three hours."

"But knowing them, they'll be lazy mules and stop early," I snorted in derision. It surprised me when the Captain was the one to answer. His voice wafted back to us over his right shoulder, and about two yards ahead of us.

"It's not a good idea to underestimate them," he said warningly. "Granted, if you overestimate them, you're usually pleasantly surprised, but it's never good to expect too little of them. Remember what happened the last time we did that?"

I grimaced at the handful of memories I retained of us getting kidnapped, sticking my tongue out briefly. "Yeah, and third degree burns prevent acne, but that doesn't mean you set your head on fire…"

A low, amused chuckle was all I got in response, and I peered around at the greenery that was gradually turning orange for the hundredth time today. I was used to (and liked) being in the saddle, but in complete honesty, having a curved sheet of steel between my butt and molded leather was less than comfortable.

I couldn't wait for autumn. It always brought back memories of crisp air, apples, so much color, and the perfect temperature. It also drew memories of playing in the leaves with my brother, and occasionally our parents, when they would ditch the parent act and prove that they could be just as childlike as us.

I shifted again in Tessa's saddle, wishing that the time of day when we would get off our horses and set up camp. Absently, I rubbed the crest of her neck, wishing that we could talk, joke, and chatter freely. I knew that the we were close enough behind the bandits that, if we started talking too loudly, we would be heard. Stupid though the Darkwolf bandits were, they would be sure to put the clues together, and then all of this would have been for nothing.

At least, this was the explanation that had been given to me by one of the other knights, and from the way he had sounded when talked about it, it had happened before.

From the time we had left the Keep, not much change had happened. There had been few events as markers to tell how much time had passed since dawn, and it was difficult to keep them all in the right order—so much so that I eventually gave up trying to keep the sorry excuses for markers in order and instead of putting them in the neat little boxes in my head, just tossed them over my shoulder and called it a day. One hour blended into the next, and after a (somewhat indeterminable) amount of time, we were dismounting, and our two scouts had returned to our main force.

With the other knights' horses, I tethered Tessa less than a minute's walk from the place we had chosen to stop. Leaving her just enough loose lead to graze while not getting her forelegs tangled, I ensured my sword's sheath was properly tied to my saddlebags attached to my saddle, which rested on a thick branch a little above eye level, and replaced my sword, leaving it for the night. That done, I arched my back as I stretched, forcing my shoulders back and widening my stance a little.

"I can't feel my butt!" I proclaimed mournfully, sagging forward a bit now that my back had cracked in four places, as per the usual. I heard a few chuckles from our assembled group as someone started preparing the small amount of food we'd brought with us. A couple of the other knights started laying out bedrolls, and I went over to help Sir Vivor with starting the fire.

"I'm starting to think this is an art form," I joked after several unsuccessful tries to light the tinder with the matches.

"To some people, it probably is." Rolith's voice startled me a bit, and I peered up and over my left shoulder to see him kneeling down to help.

"I'm not sure it takes three people to start a fire," I murmured in a protest that went unheeded. The Captain tugged off one of his armored gloves by the middle finger, and held out a hand as he looked over at me, wordlessly asking for the matches. A small, mostly ignored part of my brain noted that Sir Vivor cleared his throat slightly, then got up to go help with one of the other tasks.

Blinking rapidly as I tried to beat back the oncoming blush, I just reached out, limply dropping the box onto his calloused palm. I thought it a bit humorous that the box, a little longer than my thumb, was completely dwarfed by Rolith's hand.

This is stupid. Why am I blushing? I'm not blushing. I don't even feel warm. See? I'm not blushing. I'm completely fine. Totally not blushing. At all. Nope.

I almost didn't notice that the tiny flame had actually caught, and at the moment, neither did Rolith, it seemed. His gaze held mine relentlessly, whether he intended it or not, and it was doing funny things to my heartbeat. I'd never been good at identifying emotions just based on a person's face (or even their actions, for that matter), but whatever it was that was in Rolith's steadfast gaze, it was making my pulse try to fly out of my jaw and my stomach attempt to escape using my throat. All at once, I felt like the cool air of the forest was scorching me, even though it was still too cold, and I would have sworn I felt hairs rising on the back of my neck.

Hypersensitive to everything as I was at that particular moment, it didn't escape my notice that there weren't three inches between us.

"I—uh, I need to—um—I need to go t-take care of Tess," I managed, feeling like my heart was going to leap out of my throat even as I spoke. As they say, you fight the battles you can win, and if Rolith had leaned in any closer, I would have lost that particular fight.

Are you kidding? the voice I had taken to talking to demanded. It seemed to be easier mentally talking to an imaginary voice than trying to keep myself from talking out loud. You weren't in that battle, honey. You weren't even in the war.

At least, you shouldn't be.

But for better or for worse (probably worse), I was in it till the end. Wherever the end would take us, anyway.

I'd already taken care of Contesse, but a little extra TLC wasn't going to hurt anyone. I dodged any knight coming in my direction as I slipped through a thin layer of trees to where the horses were picketed. A pale gray shape was easily visible in the gloom under the trees, and I headed for it, intentionally shuffling my feet a little bit to announce my approach so I didn't get kicked into one of the ever-present trees.

After greeting her quietly with a short rub to her muzzle, I began to run my hands along her neck, shoulder, barrel, hindquarters, everything. In the total darkness that had now covered everything like a thick quilt, I thought this was one of the best sorts of bonding and trust building exercises that a rider could do with his or her horse. I just stepped aimlessly around her huge body, my palms and fingers never leaving contact with her smooth hair the entire time. I was going to stay here—at least for a bit. Just until the potential danger had passed.

Of course, I had no way of knowing how long that might be, so I had every intention of staying with Tess for a long while. She didn't seem to mind, letting out shameless happy little huffs or grunts when I scratched a certain spot, like her withers or croup.

What am I going to do? I wondered despairingly as my fingers danced along the crest of my mare's neck. I can barely be alone with him like we used to be. I want to spend time with him, just talking, but that doesn't seem possible now. Nothing that isn't platonic can happen, and I know that. The question is, does he? Or does he just not care about the repercussions..?

You're in-like with him, my subconscious told me matter-of-factly. It seemed to have replaced Maya when said Loremaster was absent. And the main problem here seems to just be that everybody else wouldn't approve, or some other variation. But when it's just you two, does that matter?

I don't think that—

Does. That. Matter?

…No.

I thought not, it said smugly. You need to learn to take what you want!

I can't, I protested. "That's not my style!"

"Everything okay, Calliope?"

I jerked around at one of the knights' call, realizing that I'd inadvertently switched to talking out loud once again.

"Yes! Um, no, nothing's wrong, it's all fine," I sputtered back towards the firelight I could see filtering through the trunks of the trees blocking the horses from the camp. Turning back to Tessa, I gave her another pat, then decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to get out of my armor by now. It was not comfortable to sleep in, and the results typically ended up similar to if one had slept on the floor with only a sheet to cushion them.

Sliding around Contesse to her other side, where I wouldn't be immediately visible to anybody who came over to the horses, I started to strip out of my armor, piece by piece. Contrary to popular belief, it didn't take forever to get into, because most of the plates were connected, interlocking pieces that could loosen or tighten and flexed with the wearer. When I was left shivering slightly in my underwear and my breast band, I tugged a loose v-neck shirt with ties and a pair of breeches out of my saddlebags, which were hanging on a thinner limb than the saddle with my sword. Pulling the shirt over my head following the breeches, I contemplated going back to get dinner around the campfire with the other knights, but decided against it. I wasn't quite sure I could just waltz into the circle like I completely belonged there, because when it came down to it, I was only staying at the Keep. I wasn't a knight, I was just a resident. A volunteer.

So it was with a somewhat lonely sigh that I just gave in and put my saddle on the ground near Tessa's front legs, using it as a pillow. My bedroll was already out back around the fire, and besides… maybe I needed some time to clear my head. Besides, it wasn't so cold that I would freeze. Or…

I got to my feet again, and walked to Tessa's head. After getting her attention, I knelt down and placed my palms behind her knees, giving a light pressure. This was a signal that I had taught her. Slowly, to avoid injuring herself, Tess sank to her knees and then tucked her feet under her, laying down with a sigh. Her lead rope was still long enough that she could do this with little to no difficulty maneuvering her head.

With a contented smile, I rested my head on my saddle, curling up against her other side. It wouldn't be the warmest setup in the forest, but it would keep me from freezing, and it actually was fairly toasty.

If they need me, they know where I'll be, I thought drowsily, already falling asleep. Contesse let out a long sigh, and I tucked in a little further into her side.

"Good girl," I mumbled, curling my arms in underneath my chin and tucking my legs up to hold them there. Maybe I should talk to Rolith… try to work things out… but I always did like to just wing it… Either way, something's going to happen soon, and I just hope that things don't blow up when it does…

You wouldn't think that just a day of riding at a leisurely pace through the forest would be exhausting, but until you were curled up next to a wonderful heat source at the end of the day, you had no idea how truly wiped out you actually were. Come to think of it, that's probably how I ended up completely passed out in record time, and also fully oblivious to just about anything happening around me. I probably wouldn't have noticed if a bomb had gone off, actually.

My dreams were filled with splashes of color and ideas for paintings that I wouldn't remember when I woke, but that was okay. Even everyday life was filled with inspiration in every waking moment, through places, animals, and people (maybe one in particular)… I wouldn't miss the sleeping ones all that much, right?

Rolith leaned back on his hands for the fortieth time, trying to peer through the thin screen of trees to where the horses were. Sir Valence caught this, and commented on it.

"She'll be fine, sir."

The Captain cast an exasperated glance over at the knight. "I don't doubt she will be," he responded, "But I am… concerned that she got a little distracted." There was no need to mention that the 'she' both of them referred to was Calliope—she was only one of two women in the Keep.

But she was never 'only' anything, Rolith thought wryly, mentally shaking his head at himself.

"It has been known to happen," Sir Valance agreed. Despite his serious attitude whenever he was on duty, the man had a generally mild personality and a wonderfully dry sense of humor.

"Still. She said she was going to go take care of her horse almost an hour ago, and I know she doesn't take this long," Rolith persisted, shifting his weight forward to drum his fingers on his leg. "And I think if something bad had happened, we would have heard. So I don't believe she's in trouble, but neither have we heard anything to indicate otherwise."

"Maybe one of the men should go check on her and make sure she didn't run into a tree?" Sir Vivor, across the fire, asked with a grin. A quiet ripple of amused chuckles ran through the other knights.

"Sir, if you want, I'll go," Sir Prize offered, but Rolith just shook his head once, a quick jerk that was very clear 'no.'

"You'd just scare the hell out of her. I'll go," he told the knight firmly. A couple of nods were seen as the Captain pushed himself up to his feet with his left hand, cracking his knuckles out of habit. He heard another chuckle or two, and resisted the urge to snap that there was nothing happening between them. But part of what had gotten him to be a Captain today was his ability to keep his cool, despite wanting to automatically defend himself.

Damn pride. It always got in the way of things.

Running his fingers through his tousled gold hair as he carefully picked his way to where a thin line of trees separated the camp from the place where the horses were picketed, Rolith peered through the trunks, trying to see in the dim light. Flickering firelight was almost worse than not being able to see, because it made the lighting uncertain and constantly shifting.

Rolith counted all the knights' horses, including the back half of his bay. Calliope tied Tessa next to him, he remembered, but the space where the dappled mare would have been standing was dark, and he couldn't see if the gray warhorse was there or not. But none of the horses were nervous or excited, so there wasn't anybody unexpected here, or anybody that had recently arrived aside from him. Indeed, Rolith was the only one receiving curious glances from the equines.

As his eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, Rolith went up to pat his bay's neck, and the stallion bumped the Captain's shoulder with his neck. He smiled, and was about to turn around to keep looking for Calliope when he happened to spot a slightly darker patch of shadow about 90 degrees further around the tree. Rolith's smile vanished, and a frown complete with drawn brows replaced it. He cautiously approached the lump, only stop in surprise when he realized Tessa was lying down next to a suspiciously familiar pile of dark gold armor.

As a matter of fact, when Rolith leaned in closer, he could hear two pairs of soft breathing. Tessa's huge gray head twisted around to look up at him, but she didn't get up, and now he could see why.

Leave it to Calliope to prefer sleeping on a horse to on a sleeping mat, he thought with amusement, only remembering not to laugh when he realized that the lady Warrior was well and truly out. She looks… adorable. He knew that Captains and seasoned warriors never used the term 'adorable,' nor did they use the words 'fluffy,' 'darling,' 'precious,' or 'perfect.' Nothing was 'perfect,' especially not in a rookie's eyes. That would gear them to try harder.

Nonetheless, Calliope looked just cute when she was sleeping. Maybe this was true for most sleeping things, but it wasn't usually as true for humans, regardless of how young the person was.

Pausing, he looked back at where he had dumped his saddlebags, and saw a spare blanket sticking out of one.

A moment's indecision later, he pulled the blanket out, and spread it out over Calliope where she was curled up in the fetal position against Tessa's flank with her saddle propping her head up. He tried to be careful not to wake her up, he really did, but despite his best efforts, Calliope mumbled something, and snuggled her head down a little more. Rolith let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, and left her to sleep, picking his way back to the camp.

Hallo, dear readers! Hope you all had a good couple of weeks! Apologies for the two-day delay, I had two rather large life events on both Friday and Saturday and was unable to update on either day.

A little info about what Tessa recovered from; It's not easy for a horse to recover from colic, if at all, and the word strikes fear into the hearts of horse lovers. Basically, colic is a simple word for the fancy term of 'equine gastrointestinal issues,' and often kills many of its victims. It is possible for a horse to recover from it, however rare. Feel free to look it up for more information. :)

And just in case it's not immediately obvious, Tessa did in fact get better.

But I hope you guys liked the chapter! :) And just a heads up, there's only a couple of chapters left! :D

See you all in a couple of weeks!

Juliet