A/N: Glad to know some of you are still with me on this. This one is pure Rayne sweetness at the end of a dark tunnel...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

6. Past and Future

It was dark there, dark and cold, and yet the pain that ripped through her body was white hot as molten steel. The only thing worse than the agony were the faces that hid in the dark and the voices that whispered things she could only just hear but knew she did not want to know.

The screaming might have been her own, might have been anyones, her ears did not feel like her own, her eyes did not see the truth. A final primal sound erupted and there stood a girl, a mirror image in so many ways, with eyes that gave her away as a part of someone else. When she reached for the flesh and blood that should be her own, smoke and mirrors meant she disappeared as peels of maniacal laughter rang all around.

This time when a would-be scream came out as a strangled sob, River knew the sound was coming from herself, and the world around her was at once real as she sat up sharply in the bed she shared with her husband.

"Hey, now, bao-bei" he said as he was woken by the noise she made and way she moved, "What's happenin'?" he checked as his eyes adjusted to the gloom and his brain kicked into gear from its previous sleeping state, "Is it the little one...?" he asked when he noticed both her hands had gone to her pregnant belly.

"Yes" she answered immediately, "No" she changed her mind, realising she would give the wrong impression with her first answer, "Not logical or true. In my head only, REM cycles, skewed vision, irrational..." she rambled, trying to comfort herself that she had only had a bad dream, that she was fine now, and yet her words proved as explanation for her husband too.

"Bad dream, huh?" said Jayne as he propped himself up on an elbow and reached to push her hair out of her face - she was shaking and yet a sheen of sweat lay on her skin.

"Yes, very bad" she confirmed, before turning sharply to look at him, "Jayne-man can make it better" she said as she dropped down beside him, urging his arms around her body and burying her face in his chest.

"That musta been a helluva adventure in that pretty little head" he said as he held her close, stroking her hair where it flowed down her back, "You wanna talk about it, babydoll?" he asked, knowing he maybe wouldn't want to hear the morbid and creepifying things her head was capable of conjuring after all the Alliance hwun-dahns had stuck in her head, but also knowing he had to help her any way he could - he loved her too much not to.

"Irrational fear" was her only answer, and even that was muffled with her face against his body and half beneath the blankets too.

"So you keep on tellin' me" he sighed, "but you don't say what or why" he said, as he moved the covers and attempted to get her to at least look at him.

"Fear" she admitted as she pulled away enough to see him but stayed in his embrace still, "Fear that bad will come from good, black where white should be" she explained as best she could, turning to lay on her back now with one hand straying to her bump, "Fear of complications" she said plainly then, something Jayne was real grateful for.

"But you ain't sick" he assured her, "Good ol' brother Doc said everythin' was shiny with you and the kid both" he reminded her, though he couldn't believe she needed tellin' since her last check with Simon was just two days previous.

"Hence irrational" she sighed, feeling as embarrassed now as she had been fearful of her ridiculous dream.

So much she had seen, so much faced and conquered. River was at least grateful to know her own thoughts and memories from those of others. Her nightmares were her own now, her fears belonging to one woman, and that was River Tam. Though the other things existed in her head, they could be more easily locked away most of the time. This bad dream had an explanation she could find and a few moments with her beloved Jayne-man's arms around her made it all better.

"Other fears too" she went on to say, "Daughters are precious, but can get lost. Fall through cracks, stolen away" she rambled some, though Jayne reckoned he was following pretty well.

"Ain't nobody gonna take our baby girl, bao-bei" he swore to her, "Got my word on it"

He hadn't really thought that would be a fear she'd have, though maybe it oughta occurred to Jayne. After all, back in her childhood days, she'd been happy enough with her parents and brother in her fancy world. Hadn't an idea one day she'd been taken out of it and have to go through what she had. Made Jayne's blood boil to think of it and be held her just a little tighter as he tried to put it out of his head.

"Sometimes fear creeps in, irrational or not" River all but whispered in the dark, seeing what he saw in his head, knowing he understood because he felt it too sometimes, "Creeps like lurking shadows"

"Yeah, but shadows ain't nothin' to be afeared of, River, so this ain't either" he promised her, kissing the top of her head as he held her still, going back to their original conversation, "Girlfolk been poppin' out kids just as long as the worlds have been turnin'. Ain't sayin' it ain't scary for ya, but you don't gotta fret so much" he tried to reassure her, "We got us a Doc, and you got me here with ya. 'S gonna work out shiny" he promised, "And when she gets here, she got a whole crew lookin' over her shoulder, so she won't have nothin' to be afeared of neither" he assured her, glad to feel her relaxing in his arms and not hardly shaking at all now.

"He says so too" she smiled, feeling thoughts and emotions from the next room, "Felt fear from one, calm from another" she explained, speaking of Daniel as she turned her head and smiled at Jayne, "He sleeps again now"

"Yeah, well, he's a smart one, just like his Ma" he told her, returning that same smile, just glad she was feeling better already.

"Like you too, smart in your own way" she told him, just as she did every time he spoke highly of her intelligence and doubted his own, "Jayne-man is smart, and sweet, and strong..." she went on, punctuating each complimentary quality she listed with a kiss to his face, her hands running over his chest and further south.

"Hey, you carry on that way, ain't neither of us gonna get no sleep" he told her, the smirk on his face telling her he didn't really mind anyway.

"Can't worry about getting her pregnant" she joked, moving up as close as she could get in her very pregnant condition, "Don't want to sleep, not until something good takes the bad away" she told him, with a look that was caught between sweet little girl and horny little devil.

Though he kissed her long and hard and almost gave in to her request something stopped him, and River read the fear from his head before he had a chance to tell her why he pulled away.

"Can't hurt her" she assured him, a hand on her bump then, "Or her" she said as she took his own hand and put it over her own heart, "Need to be close" she told him, as if that were not already obvious.

This time when he kissed her, he gave in and did what came naturally, which was all she really wanted. A while later they would go back to sleep, bodies wrapped around each other, and all fears, irrational or otherwise, well and truly forgotten.

- The End -