"Has anyone ever tried to make peace with them?" Shinji asked quietly, hoping that no one would hear him. He only voiced his opinion because he felt it odd that they were fighting something that supposedly should destroy mankind, yet he had to hear about how it would happen.
He always wondered why peace never was an option. To his knowledge, no one ever tried to devise a method to talk to them. It's as if they were letting fear get the better of them, not even considering the possibility. As if fighting against them was the only imaginable way to deal with the angels!
He remembered how much pain they caused them. The high sync rate he had was causing him to feel everything that the EVA felt. A peaceful solution would help the pilots situation tremendously. He didn't hate them. The angels seemed like stupid critters without much intelligence not worthy of true hatred.
Another thing he noticed was what he came to call the Sorting Algorithm of Angel Strength. The initial angels where nowhere as strong as the current ones. The first angel he fought at first was tough at the time, but even he had to admit that if he had to fight it tomorrow, he could take it easily enough.
'If Asuka had to fight it, the angel would be completely humiliated.' Shinji thought with a small smile.
Yet the angels returned always, each one stronger than the previous, maybe with the exception of the ninth. It wouldn't have had any chance if there wouldn't have been that power outage. Even so, with Asukas plan, they were able to destroy it in a relatively painless fashion. Had the angels a concept of gentlemanly warfare?
Shinji mused how he admired the girl, who was the best EVA pilot in his eyes, even with his slightly better sync rate. Despite Ritsuko's statement, it was not the most important thing. She never was in battle and always looked at the situation in a relatively safe position, detached from the dangers. A clinical perspective is always cleaner.
In her first engagement on Japanese soil Asuka wanted a flashy debut that almost has cost them the battle, but once she was firm in her position of lead pilot (a position she claimed for herself and that none of the other pilots contested), she was able to lead the group in combat. Even Dr. Akagi mentioned her in the post-battle debriefing, congratulating the girl for her quick thinking. That same confidence and competence made Shinji more comfortable in his position.
"What?" Shinji asked as he noticed everyone staring at him.
"You asked something?" Misato asked.
"Never mind." Shinji replied quickly.
"You know, when you say that..."
"...it seems like I'm trying to get attention." Shinji remembered that particular conversation with some shame. He realized that he really did say that to get some attention. "I remember. But it was just something stupid I thought about." This was different, he reminded himself.
"Shinji," Ritsuko turned towards him, "we're fighting a highly unconventional enemy, all information can be useful. Especially from someone with as much field experience as you."
"Yeah, right." Asuka scoffed. "Like the Baka has anything useful to say."
"Quiet!" Ritsuko told Asuka, then faced Shinji. "Out with it!"
With staying quiet no longer an option, Shinji asked again. "Why do we fight them?"
"Are you stupid? They are the enemy. We are soldiers. Even you should understand that much."
"I understand that, but has anyone ever tried to..." Shinji was unsure how to put it. "I don't know, make peace with them?"
Misato listened to the boy and reached the conclusion that he was trying to get out of piloting without actually running away. 'Teenagers,' she thought, 'always with the angst.' But she guessed it's understandable with Shinji, he never wanted to fight in the first place. While he was performing well considering his limited training, he didn't have a soldiers heart, like Rei or a warriors like Asuka.
"Shinji," she tried to explain, but Shinji thought her tone was a tad more condescending than Ritsuko's, which was a record in itself, "they are coming to destroy the world. If they ever would succeed, everyone you care about would die."
"How?" Shinji asked.
'Danger, Ritsuko Akagi!' The doctor thought. The boy came dangerously close to asking the right questions. Questions like why they're always attacking Tokyo-3. Fortunately, Askua helped her out.
"Are you really this dense? Haven't you seen them?" The redhead was fuming at the apparent denseness of his fellow pilot. "If I recall correctly, you were almost roasted by one! Another one almost tore your fucking arms off! And you're asking if they're really the enemy?"
"I know they are the enemy! But it seems that they are only capable of destroying maybe a city. Tragic, but not in an Earth shattering way you make it seem like." While Shinji knew he was losing the argument, he felt the need to defend his position. "I-I don't mean that it's not a problem..." He shut up as he realized that he said something incredibly stupid.
Misato was starting to become annoyed at her charge. He didn't mean anything bad, but the angels were the enemy. They killed half the population of Earth, including her father. She had to take her revenge, but if Shinji does not cooperate, they'll be in much trouble. Shinji was still the most experienced of the pilots, the only one that took part in all angel battles (except the 11th angel, but that was understandable). She didn't want him to question the objectives because of his naivety.
"I understand your position, Shinji," Ritsuko interrupted anything Misato would say, "but we do not have the time to find out if we can communicate. As for why it would end the world: please believe me when I say that you should trust us. Understanding the reason requires understanding the current theories of meta-physics, meta-biology, mathematics..."
"O-okay, I-I get it." Shinji wasn't so sure of himself now. But the seed of doubt has already been planted.
"Finally!" Asuka exclaimed, rolling her eyes as she cursed the idiot of a god that let a dumbkopf like the Third Child be born. "Could we wrap this up before the heat death of the universe?"
"Akagi-san, you asked to see me?" Ritsuko didn't look up from the terminal she was working on. Since she still couldn't find why the learned fitness function of a genetic algorithm was off she was starting to get a bit miffed. 'It was supposed to be a five minute fix,' she idly thought, forgetting the Third Child patiently waiting at the door, 'but the idiots could never understand how to give a proper estimate.' At the rate she was going, she'll be here all night.
Shinji saw as the doctor apparently forgot him, but in his time at NERV, she has seen the consequences of interrupting the scientist when she was in the zone. Poor Makoto was never going to look at a soldering iron the same way.
After fifteen minutes, Shinji's shoulders slumped as he realized that he was forgotten again.
'I guess I should be used it to by now.' he thought after half an hour. 'People always ignore me.' His current litany of angs was interrupted when the blonde noticed him.
"Shinji! How long have you been waiting?" Ritsuko asked a bit alarmed.
"Not long," he lied.
"I'm sorry, but I was trying to solve a problem with the MAGI. You know how it is."
"Uhmm... not really."
Dr. Akagi looked at the boy with a questioning face. Why was he here? Was it so important that he waited for who knows how long before realizing that she asked him to come see her? Right after a tenuous harmonics test. 'Oh right, now I remember!'
She frowned at her own absent mindedness, hoping that she wouldn't turn into some stereotypical senile scientist. She was almost relieved when she realized that the Commander would see to it that no one would be alive in a year. But at least she already excelled at being a crazy cat lady.
"I can come back later." Shinji said as he mistook the look on her face. 'Maybe I came at the wrong time?'
"No, no, it's good." She walked to the bookshelf in her rather spacious office. The shelf was full of books. Shinji looked, but he couldn't even understand most of the titles. "I just wanted to give you this." She handed him a book.
Ender's Game
by Orson Scott Card
"This might answer your questions about why we cannot communicate with them." The doctor told him. "Just don't try to apply it to the current situation too much. There are similarities, but our situation is a bit different."
"Thank you, Akagi-san." Shinji didn't especially like science fiction, but she was generous enough to consider his question and he wasn't going to be ungrateful.
"I expect you to read it over the weekend." She said. At first, Shinji thought that she was joking, but the serious look on her face deterred him. "On Monday, I expect you to explain what you understood from it, and how you see the differences. Comprende?"
"C-comprende."
"No, Shinji, comprendo. Learn some Spanish." She laughed, a bit too disturbingly for Shinji's liking.
"Bye, Akagi-san." Shinji said, as he inched away from the doctors office. 'Weird woman.'
After Shinji left the office, Ritsuko was about to continue debugging when her phone rang. The caller ID showed the name of Gendo Ikari. Next to his name was a picture of a black heart.
"How did it go?" He asked without any preamble.
"I gave him the book. He'll be too focused on the communication problem to ask questions about Lilith."
She could practically hear the eyes of the Commander bulging as he processed this bit of information. "Please reassure me that the Third Child didn't say that."
"Of course he didn't. But he was close." She replied, suppressing a groan. "But as you oh-so-perfectly predicted, the others had their own reasons for not caring about the answer."
It was true. Gendo has handpicked all the senior personnel from Fuyutsuki, the bridge technicians and the pilots to consist only of people who wouldn't question the whys or could be trusted with the plan (at least with most of it). For everyone else, a reassuring and friendly 'You don't have the clearance for the answer, so fuck off!' was enough.
Misato never questioned the why and wouldn't care much about the answers. She wanted revenge at all costs and did not care for any justification. Also she was a soldier, they were at war and the enemy was at the gate. They had to be destroyed.
Asuka didn't particularly care about anything other than piloting the EVA. For all she cared the angels could come for the fine cuisine of Japan. As long as her position as the top pilot was not questioned, everything was okay. Even the horrible collateral damage (thousands dead or injured, billions of yen damage, etc.) each battle brought.
And Rei knew the truth but had no reason to see any flaw in the Commanders decisions. In that regard, Asuka was right, the girl really was a doll. Ritsuko didn't like the First Child, remembering the rumors about her mother pretty well. One of the many reasons she didn't like the blue-haired pilot, but at least she could be depended upon.
This bought her attention to the Third Child. He had the weakest motivation for fighting. Everyone knew – or at least thought they knew – that Shinji only piloted to gain the approval of his estranged father. If he ever found out about any of NERV's dirty little secrets, he would run for the hills. She'd rather have him as he's now, braver and more confident than he has been a few months ago. He certainly didn't need to know anything. That is why ultimately he was kept more in the dark than anyone else at NERV.
For Gendo, Shinji's questions have been only a slight problem. The Third Child probably wouldn't have the galls to spill the beans, but if Katsuragi would ask the same questions they'd be in deep trouble. Section-2 agents and SEELE spies could easily disappear, but the death or disappearance of a UN Army officer like her would bring too much undue attention. Better to deter the boy through such a simple gesture. He's probably grateful for the extra attention.
"Yui liked that book" Gendo brought her back from her musings.
'Oh, boy' she groaned. 'This will take a while.'
"You know, back in 1999..." Ritsuko already put the phone on speaker and set it down on bookshelf next to her desk, so she could react to Gendo if needed but he wouldn't hear her typing.
'Now, from where did that feedback loop get its parameters?'
To be continued ...
And now for an omake,
"No, no, it's good." She walked to the bookshelf in her rather spacious office. The shelf was full of books. Shinji looked, but he couldn't even understand most of the titles. "I just wanted to give you this." She handed him a book.
Kama Sutra
"Make sure you study it in depth, Shin-chan." Ritsuko said, licking her lips.
'Not again!' Shinji swallowed hard.