Walking through the ER doors, heads began to turn in Johnny's direction. The strong aroma of the spilled "Eau de Cologne" clung to his clothing. He would have sworn at that point, if it were medically possible, that it had seeped into his skin. It was one of those days.
Roy was finishing up in the treatment room with their 'sweet' old patient, and John went to the nurse's station to wait for him, much to Dixie's dismay.
"Oh, John, we need to have a talk about your choice of after shave. Ooo!" She quickly covered her up her nose.
"Ha ha. Very funny. Our last patient had a huge bottle of this nasty stuff break in her purse in the back of the ambulance. I'll never get rid of this smell!" John began sniffing his own shirt and coughing. Patients and staff alike were walking by, sniffing the air, and covering their noses, picking up their pace to get away from the area quicker.
"Hey! It's not my fault! A patient spilled it on me!" John yelled after them, as if it mattered. Some glared back in his direction, as if to say, 'Ya... whatever, buddy!'
"Well, if it was in her purse, how in the world did it end up on you?" Dixie said, still holding her nose.
"Because she was beating him up with it at the time." Roy mentioned as he walked up behind Johnny, joining them. He wrinkled his forehead and his nose, glaring at his partner.
"Would you mind standing over there, you know, down wind?" Roy smirked and looked at Dixie. She couldn't help but chuckle at John's predicament.
"You're just a riot, Roy. You probably stink, too." Johnny shot back. Dixie leaned over and sniffed Roy.
"Actually, he doesn't. Just you."
Roy took two fingers and pushed at Johnny's chest to prod Johnny to stand back further. John took a couple steps back. Dixie waved him back further. John let out a big exasperated sigh, and walked a few more steps back.
"How could you possibly ride in the ambulance with her and not, not…"
"Stink? I don't know, she liked me. She didn't try to beat ME up." Roy went to get some coffee. Dixie looked down at her paperwork to hide her chuckling. Johnny evil-eyed his partner. Roy was re-stocking some supplies when John became distracted by a noise that was gaining in volume around the corner. His curiosity was piqued. With Roy distracted with the supply list, John decided to walk part way down the hall to see what was causing the ruckus.
All of a sudden, a large man broke away from the officer who had been trying to restrain him, and headed in Johnny's direction. He looked like he was at least 400 pounds, and had decided to make a grass hula skirt his fashion statement for the day. A nurse holding a syringe yelled for assistance, and, acting on instinct, Johnny stood in the man's way and placed his hands in front of him, thinking that it would stop this 'hula dancing' freight train.
Hearing the commotion, Roy and Dixie came around the corner, and saw an extremely large man, sporting a grass skirt, sitting on the tile floor. And if that wasn't odd enough, they noticed something more peculiar.
A pair of navy blue panted-legs stuck out limply from underneath the heavy set hula dancer. The grass skirted perpetrator was sitting squarely on the paramedics' chest. An officer and a nurse were trying with all their might to pull the large man up as he yelled.
"I got 'im! See? I Got 'im! He's right here! He tried to take me! That stinky alien tried to kidnap me, but I got 'im! He didn't get me! I Got 'im!" The enormous man was pumping his arms in the air with glee.
Roy and Dixie joined in the fray, and saw Johnny under the man, staring straight up at the ceiling. Dixie covered her mouth to keep from laughing. Roy had a smile he couldn't hide. The now medicated man was taken into a treatment room, and Roy knelt down beside his partner.
"Junior, you alright? Junior? Are you hurt?" Roy was reaching for his partner's arm.
"I'm fine. Jus'...jus' great." Johnny answered in a whispery, 'I have no breath' voice.
"Did you hit your head? Break anything?" Roy started to check his friend over. Johnny smacked his friends' hand away.
"Jus' get me up." John put his arm toward Roy's hand for Roy to help him. As Johnny stood, he teetered a bit, and Roy steadied him.
"You sure? Maybe we should have Brackett or somebody…"
"I'm okay! Jus' got plowed over by a bulldozer in a grass skirt is all!" Johnny rolled his neck and shoulders to get the kinks out. Ever so carefully and slowly Johnny walked down the hall. Roy and Dixie watched their defeated and weary friend walk through the automated doors, and head to the squad. Roy went back to the desk and grabbed the supplies from Dixie, who was still trying to stifle her laugh.
It was definitely one of those days.